Reclaiming Austin

By William Tyler King

Chapter 26

Hi Everyone, I could say Gentelmen, as I first thought I’d have mostly all male readers, but as it turns out, I have quite a number of female readers and even a few straight male readers! Pile on friends, when I publish the book eventually, I’d love for everyone to buy a copy or two *to give to friends* OH, and aside from cleaning it up and making all the facts align correctly-like Alex and Austin’s jumping Heights and the murderous job on the earlier French translations where I’m saying, “Thank you sir” To Mrs. Tremere.

At this point I would really, REALLY like to Thank Jerrie for her editing and Proofing, And Wil (spelled right) For his Translations from French… And Of course Scott and Mary for all their help. We’re getting close to the end so….

Don’t read BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, And don’t copy or reprint BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…

Oh, I need everyone to help me, speaking of Publishing, I would like everyone to write me and tell me what your favorite chapter is, I need to send that chapter with some other crap out to the publishers, and if you have any connections to Gay publishers, let me know… I figure I’ll do something nice for the ones who send me the right chapter… A hand signed copy of whatever… So, please write and don’t forget to add the chapter number (NOT the whole chapter) You can reach me at williamtylerking@gmail.com Or williamtylerking@hotmail.com . Thanks guys!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday night I stayed in our apartment, I brought Thunder over early that morning and sat in a chair nearly all day with the cat and dog sleeping in some position with me as I relived the awful previous night. The phone was deadly quiet after about 11am, it wasn’t until it started to turn dusky at about 5pm in the strange January early evening, that Michael and Jason came over. Jason moved to hug me immediately as he saw the forlorn look upon my face. As he held me I fell apart in his arms, so primordial was my pain, confusion, and fear that even the normally irascible Michael could only put his arm around me and whisper platitudes. I wanted Austin then, I needed his arms, and I needed to be there for him. Michael held me and whispered soft words of encouragement.

We spent the afternoon together, Jason hugging me and rubbing my shoulders, Michael wishing he could say something nasty to me to get everyone laughing, and Thunder and Tempest both taking turns laying with me. Michael and Jason said they’d pick me up for the funeral on Tuesday and that I should give Austin the benefit of the doubt as he’d been through so much lately. Natasha had given me some time alone, but came over and took me to her house for dinner and the evening, she wanted me to stay, but I told her I needed to drive Thunder home and get some sleep. Ryan and Michael were extremely friendly and acted with reserved emotions, not being sure how much to baby me. I was polite but only stayed a few minutes before returning home to a deadly quiet house.

Mrs. Cleveland was a total bitch when she saw me Monday; I was scared to tell her I was taking off Tuesday morning for the funeral. She gave me a great deal of grief about it but she couldn’t make me come to work the next day and she knew it. Everyone else I worked with went out of their way to be nice once they’d heard what had happened.

Tuesday Morning, Jason and Michael came over early to pick me up. They both were dressed in black suits and wore sunglasses to ward against the winter sun. They looked like a gay version of the mob. We drove to the church in Deltona that was having the funeral. Phil said it was the same church where Joe’s service had been held. We ran into Ryan and Michael outside the church mingling with Phil, Korma, Cynthia, Tiago, Dan and Dennis.

“Mrs. Tremere, your mom and Austin’s moms are already inside,” Ryan said as he hugged me. We all went in together, a defense I supposed against the many good ol boys gathered, pointing and staring at us, I didn’t think they were going to try anything; my group was just way too big in stature aside from me, not to mention the sheer number of guys in our group.

I went in and as my eyes got accustomed to the light, I saw my mom, Mrs.’ Tremere, and Austin’s mom all sitting together quietly, I walked over and slid in next to Mrs. Camble and took her hand in mine, I whispered a hello to my mom and Mrs. Tremere. All of them had obviously been crying and held wadded up Kleenex

An older man dressed in black came out and asked us to pray. He droned on and on about god’s will and Jesus’ compassion. Neither of which I wanted to hear about just then. It struck me that a loving and compassionate god would have struck down the hater and not the innocent. Finally, he stopped droning on and on and we sang some horrid church song, only then was Austin bade to come up.

Austin walked slowly to the podium where the minister had once stood. He looked like hell with sunken eyes and a hard-set jaw. That he had cried recently was easy to see, and hell, who hadn’t? Even my irascible Michael had puffy eyes and signs of crying.

“I’m guessing everyone here knows who I am and why I’m here.” He started, “I-I-I’m Nate’s best friend. See, Joe, Nate and I spent most of our teenage years together; it was only a few months ago that Nate… err I mean ‘Nathan’ stood…” I felt for him, as it was evident that Austin was fighting to suppress a sob threatening to get out. “That Nathan stood right here and delivered our friend Joe’s eulogy.” I could see the darkness washing over his face as Austin returned to the microphone. “I’m going to give Nate a proper Eulogy, but first I want to read something, it’s a letter Joe wrote to Nate that was delivered to him a few days after he- after he- after he’d killed himself.” With that, Austin took a deep breath and pulled out a wrinkled note. I was suddenly very curious about what Austin was doing. “Nate saved this in that little ceramic treasure chest he kept on his dresser; it meant a great deal to Nate- It’s partially responsible for him and me mending a rift that had come between us.”

“This was Joes Last communication, his real suicide note” Austin said, opening the crumpled letter. He began to read. “Hey man, I’m guessing by now you know what I did, I’m leaving a fake note with my body for my family and the law, but I wanted to tell you why I had to do it, you’ll know the other crap isn’t real anyhow. Hell man, with the exception of Austin maybe, you probably knew me best anyhow.” Austin looked up and gazed at the Audience. “I’m warning everyone right now, not one person better try to come up here and try to stop me” Austin said this low and backed it with an intensity that was terrifying in it’s silence and passion.

Then he continued, “But you didn’t know everything, even you didn’t really know me, and once you do, I’m guessing it won’t much matter what I done. I know how you feel; I saw what all that crap with Austin did to you. I’m telling everyone else, in that letter, that I was in love with this girl and she didn’t love me back. That will help them and, hell, they’ll believe it cause they want to.” Austin said this then stopped and looked out over the crowd.

“But it wasn’t a girl Nate, it was you. Big fucking wow huh? I have for years, and I used to pray you’d feel the same way. Truth is, I’ve never been with a girl, only time I ever had a partner was with Austin, he’d let me go down on him sometimes when we were drunk. You don’t need to know that though. I used to hope that one day you’d let me have some clue that you’d let me, even if you weren’t gay too. But you were so mad at Austin, you were so freaking disappointed, and you went on and on how you never wanted to see him again. Dude, I tried and tried to get over you, I prayed and did everything I could think of, let’s be real though dude, you weren’t going to change, and I wasn’t changing… and if I’d come out, I would have lost you, my family and all my other friends. Austin might have welcomed me, but he’s disappeared. Be honest Nate, there’s no room in our world for homos. You can hate me now, I don’t guess it will much matter, but please don’t tell my family, let them have their illusions. If Austin finds out, you can tell him everything if you want. This is fucking hard to do man, but I don’t see no other way.” Austin choked up and paused before he read, “With Love and regret, your friend always, Joe.”

Austin stopped and began to fold up the letter. “I think Nate read it a lot as it was Joe’s last words to us. But now I’m keeping it, it’s part of my two best friends.” Austin choked up a moment then stepped out from behind the podium.

“So I’ve lost my two best friends to the same god damned thing!” Austin roared seething. “I don’t mean guns, those were just the instruments. It was our “Southern tradition” of hating gays.” He shouted, using finger quotes. “I’m guessing it won’t much matter what I done” He roared repeating Joe’s words. “Those ‘traditions’ made Joe kill himself, they made that sweet funny, sensitive loving guy chose a bullet over the truth about who and what he was. Those traditions made that ass hole, Jesse, blow Nate’s face off, and damn it, those traditions made my dad freak out cause having a son who chose to be with a guy was so antithetical to his beliefs, it gave him a heart attack and made him turn away from me.” A murmur went through the church.

“That’s right, I said it, I’m with a guy.” Austin said belligerently. “In fact, Nate was throwing me a bachelor party the night he was killed.” Austin said, glaring at the crowed. “I had planned to celebrate the one year anniversary of meeting Alex at our friend Dan’s graduation party.” Austin said defiantly, I was stunned, he actually remembered the date; I hadn’t even remembered the date. “As Joe’s letter said, Nate was furious with me when he first learned I loved a guy.” Austin wasn’t just coming out, he was using a jet to leave the closet he’d once hid in. “Nate was just so mad that he stopped speaking to me, and must have gone on and on to poor Joe about it. Poor sweet funny Joe, he never hurt or upset anyone, except maybe his sister and dad I guess.” Austin said softening his righteous indignation a little. “Nate was so stunned by what Joe did, that we began talking again. Don’t get me wrong, we all know how homophobic Nate used to be and that doesn’t just disappear. But Nate tried. He was learning. He was getting to know my boyfriend and…” Austin suddenly choked up and said softly, “Nate was going to be my best man when I married Alex.” I was suddenly sitting up even more riveted to what Austin was saying. The entire room might have slid backwards into a parallel universe, I didn’t see any of them, I was so focused on Austin.

“See, that horror and shock all ya all are feeling right now-that’s part of our great southern tradition of hate and loathing, and don’t get me wrong, I felt it too, and I have to give Alex an awful lot of credit for putting up with me as I worked my way through it.” Austin said looking down at me a moment with a tiny smile. Then he looked up and continued. “Just like Nate was working his way through it too…” And then Austin began sobbing, “And poor Joe never had a chance, he knew how Nate woulda reacted, he knew how his mom and dad woulda reacted,” And then he hollered in anger, “he knew how everyone here, every single person he knew woulda reacted.” Then he dropped his voice and said, “I can’t point any fingers at you without admitting that I played my part too, I always acted like what we did was some awful dirty secret, I made Nate promise not to tell anyone.” Austin began sobbing but stayed up by the podium. I saw the Minister walking up the steps when Austin suddenly regained his composure and snarled out,

“Reverend Collet, I know you preach a whole different set of values when you’re up here, but I swear to god, if you come any closer I’ll have to deck you.” Austin stood up tall and despite his suit, his muscles ripple. His threat was understood evidently as the elder minister turned around and took his seat.

“Don’t ya’ll understand? It ain’t about the sex, it ain’t about Sin, it sure ain’t about all the lies and crap that ministers and politicians say.” Austin stopped and suddenly his voice got quiet. “It’s about Love, what Alex and I have is love. That just occurred to me as I prepared to get up here. But what we have is as real and as special as anything that a woman and a man ever had. More than I ever had with a woman. And Joe, my sweet funny Joe, he loved Nate with all his heart, More than anything, more than his own life and when he realized Nate couldn’t ever love him…” Austin wiped his eyes and paused a moment as he looked up.

“Joe and Nate are watching me now, laughing at how mushy I’m being, and Nate is twitching back and forth in his seat loving the fact that I’ve shaken all ya’ll up so much. Ya know how much Nate loved to shake things up… And Joe? I think Joe would forgive me outing him under the circumstances. “

Austin stopped and paused before talking again. “I can’t tell you how much I’m gunna miss those two. We grew up together and no one, not any of you, knew me any better then those fine men. We shared almost everything, and all my best memories include them and all the trouble that Nate and I caused, that sweet Joe took the blame for cause he didn’t want my father or Nate’s father, who both tended to be harsh men, to get mad at us.” Austin tilted his head up slightly and then said, “Nate, Joe, Make room for me cause one day I’ll be there too… and make room for Alex, I know Nate liked him, I suspect you will too Joe.”

Austin began to cry. Tears ran down his face and he used a small red handkerchief he had in his pocket to wipe his eyes as he walked back to his pew. His tears washed over all of us, and in moments, the whole place was caught in the grief. Tears fell like rain drops as the Minister got up and paused before finishing the ceremony. He had apparently changed his mind about speaking to what Austin had said. I wanted more than anything to hold Austin and take away some of his obvious pain. But that wouldn’t happen for a while yet. Austin’s Mom and I held hands for the rest of the service and when it was over, I stood with the Michaels and Ryan and Cynthia, Jennifer, Glen, Korma, Phil and Dan when Austin’s Mom came up and took my hand again, “Alex, please be good to my boy, he’s hurting something fierce right now.” She said through her tears and with an obvious pain. I met her eyes and nodded as I squeezed her smaller fragile hand, “Yes Ma’am, he won’t have a moment of doubt that I’m here for him.” I said as she sobbed a little into her Kleenex then walked back to talk to Nate’s family.

Later, I hugged my mother, Mrs. Tremere, and Austin’s mother as they were getting ready to leave, and to my surprise, they left together, with my mom driving. I was talking with My Michael pleasantly, which was odd enough, when a large hand covered my eyes and I heard Michael say sarcastically, “You’ll never guess who it is.” So I pondered a moment, I knew it was Austin, but my smart ass took over, “Hmmm, tall and I can smell how sexy he is… OK - Dan! Austin’s gunna be pissed.” I was turned around and barely had time to move my head to meet him “Shut up” Austin said before lifting me up and kissing me.

Austin hugged me close as he tried to suppress his tears, “I’m so sorry Alex. I hope you can forgive me. I’ve been such an ass since all this happened…”

I hugged him tightly around his chest and my heart shattered as I said, “Shhh. It’s not even an issue baby, I was never mad at you, just worried, I don’t want you to spend one more second worrying about me or anything else.” I said warmly to him as he wrapped himself around me and I moved my arms up to wrap around his neck. I was glad to be back in his life and was enjoying the contact.

His whole body began to convulse with sobs as he held me up and cried on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry Alex,” He cried over and over as I patted his back and tried to sooth him. “I-I-I wanted to b-blame y-you.” He sobbed, “I t-t-tried to m-make it y-y-your f-fault” I hugged him tight a moment and looked up at him, “And now?” I asked. He cried harder as he shook his head then said, “N-No, it, it’s like I said, I finally realized it wasn’t, I guess I always knew it… but when I read Joe’s letter…” And Austin began once again to hold me and cry wracking sobs.

“Honey-Austin…” I tried consoling him with soothing words as people I didn’t know looked at us as they filed past us. “Baby,” I soothed, “You’ve been under so much ‘shit’ lately, and you’re here now, so just cry and let it out sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere.”

A few seconds later I felt a presence behind me and heard Michael waters saying, “Oh Austin, baby…” I felt him pressing against me as he hugged Austin. I then heard Ryan and My Michael, and Jason too. As they all joined our hugging mass, sharing with me the burden of carrying Austin’s pain. They gave him all the love they could summon. Pretty soon Glen and Robert, then Tiago, and Korma joined, a minute later Cynthia and Jennifer joined. In seconds, people I didn’t even know were coming over to join our gathering

As the mob began to release us, I heard My Michael bark out, “What the fuck are you two doing here?” His voice was angry and sharp. I let Austin go and looked around until I saw both Michaels, and Ryan facing down two smaller guys. It took me a second, until I realized that it was two of the guys I fought at Jakob’s Tavern. I glared at them angrily as I cut through the crowd, unsure of what these two would be here for and worried they might start something, worried about how poor Austin would take it. I approached them angrily.

Dave, the one who had backed down at the tavern that night, put his hands up once again and said, “Hey-easy there! We just wanted to apologize.” I stopped and My Michael looked at me to see how I was reacting, it wouldn’t take him but a moment to rearrange the faces that god had given them. If they thought I was dangerous, they were in for a real shock when the 6’6” mechanic lit into them. It looked like Ryan and Michael were just waiting for an excuse to pour some serious levels of pain on those two. All the action was attracting Phil, Dan, Glen, and Dennis as well as the girls and even Tiago and Robert wandered over towards us.

“Listen,” Dennis, the blond haired one. I barely recognized him cause he had cut his hair short and cleaned up. “We both feel awful ‘bout the way we was acting the other night. It weren’t like us to act that way. Guess we just got caught up with Jesse’s crap. Truth is, we was more friends with Nate.” I caught the fact he used Nate’s preferred name rather than his formal name.

“So why’d you come here than?” My Michael asked from next to me and Dennis answered, “Cause we was Nate’s friends an’ we feel awful bout what happened. And don’t worry, we already told them lawyers that’s planning the case against Jesse that we was gunna say it was all him what started the fight, what called you them names and that was the reason Gabe got hurt,” Dave said in his bad southern dialect.

“How is Gabe?” Austin asked from behind me, I had moved to shield him from any possible threats, but he was still a head taller than me and could see everything without a problem.

“Gabe’s still in the hospital-he ain’t speak’n so good, and his head’s still all wrapped up. Doctors say he’ll need therapy to get some of his skills back, like walk’n and dress’n.” Dave said and Dennis piped in with, “But them lawyers say they plan to sue Jesse for this, not you, cause he done shot Nate and he started that there fight.” It hadn’t even occurred to me that Austin could be sued until they told me that.

“Tell him I’m sorry please.” Austin said from my side as he came up to shake Dennis’s hand. Dennis was in a cast that came up to his waste and had a pair of modified pants on with one leg cut out for the cast.

“Listen,” Dennis said as he extended his hand to me, “I’m real sorry bout the way we all acted that night, I hope you’ll forgive us when you’re ready.” Dennis said to me then continued, “What Austin said up there, he makes sense, we was just raised all wrong I guess, I mean all us southern guys,” Dave said with his head hung, “And we got caught up in the fight what Jesse started.” Dennis added. “And Nate used to talk about Fagg-“ Dennis stopped what he was saying and blushed as he back peddled scared as if he’d used the “N” word to a black person, “I-I mean gays. Sorry man, those were his words.” I put my hands up to stop him from talking as he was clearly embarrassed by his words. “I know how Nate felt, and we dealt with it a while ago.” I said.

I then asked sagely, “Do you know where the word ‘faggot’ comes from?” Dave and Dennis both shook their heads. “In old England a faggot was a pile of kindling for starting fires, now it’s a cigarette. In the old days, they used to burn homosexuals alive at the stake; anyone caught or suspected of being gay was burned alive. So the slang arose because all a gay man or woman was good for was starting a fire.” I said. Dave and Dennis both looked horrified, “Man, I had no idea, that’s not what we meant.” Dave pleaded. “I know it’s not, but before you use that term again. I wanted you to know what it means.” I replied.

Dennis and Dave were quite a few moments then Dennis said, “We uhhh, we was gunna go pay our respects to Nate’s mom and Pop.” Austin, who’d been uncharacteristically quiet thus far, stepped up and put his hands on Dave’s shoulder. “That’s real brave, and I know you’re trying to make amends and ‘man up’ to the whole thing, But they just lost their son, I think it’s just too soon guys, I’ll check on them and find out how they feel, but I wouldn’t go just now if I were you.” Dave and Dennis nodded in resigned agreement.

We stayed a while and as I talked to the Michaels, Ryan, and Jason, Austin spoke with his older friends and Nate’s family. We left when most of the crowd was gone. We had a quick lunch at Little Saigon and I spoke with Julie when she motioned me over. “What wrong with Austin?” She asked with her ineffable ever-present smile. “You know that murder that was on the news this past weekend, the one outside the Bar?” I asked, I don’t know if she did or not, but she nodded for me to go on, “Well we were there, and Austin was right behind his best friend when his friend got shot in the face by a shot gun.”

For the first time since I’d known her, Julie lost her smile and registered shock and grief. “Is he alright? Is that what happened to his face?” She asked quietly, referring to his bandages and not wanting to make a scene. “Yeah, we just stopped for lunch on our way home from the funeral service; I think he needs some time to be alone. And yeah, he got hit in the face by the blast. But he’ll be ok.” I said with a reassuring smile to Julie. “Ok, you and Michael and Austin always over tip me, so now you both just go home, I take care of ticket today, you let me do this for you.” I didn’t have it in me to protest, so I gave her a huge hug and thanked her.

After our lunch Julie came over with a foam to-go-box and put it in front of me, “Summer rolls and peanut sauce, so you don’t have to cook tonight” She said, then she leaned over and gave Austin a huge hug, “You going to be ok Austin, just remember we all love you.” She said with her singsong voice, I wasn’t sure if she meant the staff or she and I or what, but it made Austin smile before a big tear rolled down his cheek. “Thank you Julie, Alex knows the best people.” He said as he cuffed me gently, “Yes he does.” She said cuffing him like he’d just done to me.

We were home later and as Austin watched TV in a near comatose state, I decided to call my work and see how things were going since it was a Tuesday after all. When I was transferred over to the floor, I was suddenly talking to Mrs. Cleveland who was yelling at me trying to give me grief about being absent that day, even though I’d cleared it, I tried defending myself explaining what had Happened and that I had almost died when I was supposed to start. I told her that I knew the guy who had just had his face shot off. I was so mad by the time I’d hung up on her I wanted to scream. Austin had come over to hold me and find out what was making me so angry, I think the emotions were bothering him as he couldn’t look at me and deal yet like he normally did. So he held me and both of us sought comfort from one another’s presence and strength. I talked on the phone that afternoon with Marika and Jason while Austin watched TV barely aware of what was on.

Early that odd January evening the phone rang and I was surprised as hell when I heard a booming female voice ask my why I hadn’t told her I’d moved yet, it was my college friend Dawn. I explained that it had happened right before the holidays and that I hadn’t had time yet to send out announcements; especially to girls I hadn’t seen in several years. She said she was in town and wanted to know if I was up to visitors since she’d been told what had happened by Mrs. Tremere. I pishawd her and told her she was welcome over, sense she was down visiting from North Carolina, likely visiting her Mom in DeLand

Dawn and I had been very close in Collage; I had been with her when she first came out to her mom and started dating Ell, her girlfriend. They now had a 4-year-old son named Samuel; they were bringing up in North Carolina near Ells parents. Dawn had been the one to teach me how to play guitar and we had sung together quite often in college.

Dawn arrived shortly before Dinner and despite the summer rolls, which I stored in plastic wrap in the fridge to keep them fresh, we had a proper roast chicken and potato dinner with Carrots and broccoli that I cooked since it was something I still knew how to make, and invited Dawn to join us. She had brought a bouquet of flowers over, mostly for Austin so we put them in one of the three thousand vases we had left from my hospital stay, and put them on the table. She also brought over a bottle of wine she had picked up at the 7-11 down the street. Austin was uncharacteristically subdued when Dawn arrived, despite all the crazy stories Dawn was telling about me and a goblet of white wine. Tempest was yelled at several times that night for getting on the table to smell the flowers. “Your cat is soooo gay!” Austin said pushing him off the table, Dawn just laughed and agreed.

As evening passed into night, I asked Dawn if she’d like to come sit in as I practiced that night for the weekend at the Seattle Scene. Dawn was finishing up and sitting with Austin after dinner. We discussed the shooting and covered the hospital stays, Austin’s and mine before she got into our college years. After a few short stories, she had Austin laughing and forgetting all about his nearly paralytic depression. Despite blushing and threatening to stop her anyway I could, I was secretly glad she’d gotten my guy to laugh again. “Ohhh, and then there was the birthday party where we got that guy Martin to strip for you…” she said, breaking out laughing. Instead of saying anything, I just mimed swiping a credit card.

Austin just looked at each of us confused as Dawn broke down laughing. I looked at my poor confused man and said, “Well, we had been recycling the few dollar bills we had as poor college students, when this guy handed me his credit card…” I shrugged as Dawn giggled, “His face was PRICELESS when Alex swiped the card through his ass cheeks.” Dawn said laughing hysterically. Then they both broke down laughing. I had worried that my poor Austin might forever be the depressed stoic man that had stared at our TV all afternoon.

“Fuck, you swiped a credit card through a straight guys ass?” Austin asked incredulously. “Oh please, that didn’t bother him half as much as Dawn and Ell tying him to my bed and molesting him with a vacuum cleaner.” “He said he wanted a blow job!” Dawn exclaimed as I mimed using a hose to suck at Austin’s crotch.

Austin stared with his mouth wide open as he searched for something to say at Dawn.

“Welllll, he must have liked it, he came around a lot after that night.” Dawn said laughing, “Well, between finding out I was gay and him figuring he might get lucky, and then finding out you and Ell were lesbians and he might get lucky and see you two making out… He was like a straight male fag hag.” We were all choking we were laughing so hard. “And then his room mate came out to him.” Dawn roared laughing. “And then his Brother came out to him” I said barely able to speak I was laughing so hard. Austin laughed a bit but didn’t devolve like we had done. Dawn agreed to go with me to practice and Austin told me he was heading over to Mrs. Tremere’s. Despite how closely he loved his mother, I think Mrs. Tremere could help my man in ways the rest of us couldn’t understand.

We practiced a few numbers when we got to our practice, and while we were practicing, Marika and Dawn were off to the side telling each other stories about me. After a while I stopped singing and said, “Hey Dawn, why don’t you get your Guitar outta my jeep and pull up a stool?” I asked. “What?” Dawn replied, “Well, you’ll be here until next Wednesday right?” I asked. “Well yeah- but you guys are professionals…” This got a good round of laughs especially from Tiago. “Tell you what, you perform with me and let them decide.” I bargained.

Dawn got her guitar and took the stool next to mine, we spent a few minutes tuning our guitars with others and then I said, “Ok, this is the first song I ever learned to sing with a partner. We preformed the song and the rest of the band loved it, so I looked at Robert, our unanimous leader, and asked, “So can we bring her in as a special guest star this weekend?” Marika just walked up and put her arm over Dawn’s shoulder, “Honey, that man,” she said pointing at me, “Has planned to get you up on stage since he first invited you over!” I then got a sneer from Marika that could be copyrighted as an official Marika Williams SNEER. Dawn just laughed and agreed with Marika. It was decided that she was going to be our special guest.

I got home that night sometime after Austin and he was just getting ready for bed when I walked in, I put on a pot of coffee as we chatted about his night and about my practice with Dawn. “Mrs. Tremere asked if we’d help her move next week” He said slowly, it was evident he was still under the weather. “Of course, we’ll do everything we can…” I said happily, trying to counterpoint his mood.

After we finished drinking our coffee and brushed our teeth, we got ready for bed. Austin was first in the bed and I marveled at his amazing body, the muscles and his fuzzy chest, his skin, which was a little tough, but at the same time soft, supple and warm, the small bandages on his face were the only signs that something was amiss. Well, that and his mood, which radiated from him like a dark fog obscures the night.

“It’s been hard as hell to sleep without you next to me” Austin said as he pulled me against him and sniffed my hair before kissing me on the top of my head. “Yeah, I was a mess without you here, I probably slept more in the chair with Thunder and Tempest cause I needed some other presence. But I’m really glad you’re back Baby…” I said, we were quiet a few minutes when I burst out laughing, “What?” Austin asked confused. “I wanted to….” I said trying to stop laughing, “I was going to tell you…” I started laughing again, finally after a coughing fit which got Austin to start laughing too, though he wasn’t sure why. “What I was trying to say is that I missed your hairy chest.” I told Austin as I snuggled into his arm crook. “And that Thunder was a good substitute, but he was an awful kisser.” At that point, Austin began cracking up and I started laughing all over again, “Too…” He tried saying, “Too much tongue,” and we were both down for the count. It was almost 20 minutes before we finally quieted down. Neither of us said anything, but even without the sex we’d always had before sleep, we still couldn’t get close enough. Finally, I fell asleep on his chest.

Sometime after midnight, I woke up shivering and cold as hell, Austin was tight against me even though usually separated when we went to bed and stayed on our own sides. I was freezing, when Austin pulled me closer I could feel he was freezing too. “Baby, did you forget to turn the heat on last night?” I asked to his chest, “No, the power’s out.” He replied. After several minutes of trying to get warmer, Austin finally said, “Ok, we can stay here and try to get warmer or we can see if the power’s on next door.” I snuggled closer to him and said, “I don’t wanna get up or move.” I said as my teeth were chattering away. After a few minutes I felt the bed move and suddenly Austin got off me saying, “Oh fuck’n A it’s cold!!!!!” He went running around, stopping at the closet in the hall. “The power’s out at Natasha’s too.” Austin said, as I suddenly felt more blankets being thrown over the bed. A minute later I felt Austin’s nude body sliding in over mine. “Wouldn’t we be warmer with cloths on?” I asked, “No, body heat is better, but I did bring socks for each of us, feet are where we loose the most body heat.” Austin said as he pushed a rolled up pair of thermal socks at me. So each of us struggled under the sheets to get our socks on and I said, “We could always use friction to keep ourselves warm…” I hinted as I snuggled against his chest. “Perve… we agreed no sex till we’re married, besides, incase you hadn’t noticed yet, thanks to the cold I’m a hairs breath away from having a vagina.” I then pulled his arm around me and said, “I love you Austin, but if you get a vagina, we are so over…”

Austin snorted a moment then said, “This is fucking Florida, why the hell is it so cold???” I closed my eyes and said, “Don’t know baby, I’m just real glad you’re with me tonight.” Austin pulled me against him tightly and said, “Always Alex, I can’t think of anything that would get me away from you now.” I began laughing, “Yeah? What about frost bite?” I asked, Austin began kissing the back of my neck and said, “Nope, we just gotta keep each other warm I guess.” We talked a little more then finally under his weight I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up to loud knocking on our front door. I rolled over and mumbled as Austin sprang up and grabbed his robe to answer the door. I herd mumbling before Austin yelled, “Hey Alex, the power went out, and so did our alarms, it’s after 10 right now!” I said “OH FUCK!” as I jumped up and grabbed my robe and ran around grabbing clothing. A few minutes later Austin drove me over to Ryan’s house in his heated truck, “You shower and I’ll feed the dogs and cook some breakfast.” Austin said. Michael was still getting ready when we pulled up but Ryan had already left for work. So I quickly showered and dressed and came out to Austin putting a cup of coffee by a plate with toast and fried eggs. “I gotta call work first honey, and tell them I’m coming in.” I said as I grabbed the phone. A girl named Patricia answered the phone and transferred me to Mrs. Cleveland. “And where the hell are you?” She yelled as she answered the phone. I explained what happened and she huffed and snorted derisively, “And how long will it take you to drag your excuse ridden ass in here?” I stuttered nervously before saying, “Eleven thirty” She huffed and said, “Just hurry up god damnit- this is getting real old Mr. Johnson!” Then she began to mumble, “And you were so highly recommended by Ivan…” I felt about 2 inches tall as I hung up, I wanted to just leave but Austin wouldn’t let me leave till I finished my food. He said I couldn’t jeopardize my health for a job. So I devoured my food with expedient zeal and brushed my teeth in a whirlwind as Austin went out to warm his truck in the chilly winter day. It wouldn’t be cold as say New York or Michigan, but for Florida and those of us raised there, it may as well have been 0 degrees.

I gave Austin a quick kiss on the lips when we pulled up to the bank. I ran inside as Austin pulled out. “I hope you don’t mind Mr. Johnson,” Mrs. Cleveland said with utter contempt, “but I decided to put you on at our satellite office on Bumby.” Which was usually a horrible job since there were only a few people there and it was all drive through customers; of course, it WOULD mean an escape from her… “How fast can you get there?” Mrs. Cleveland asked angrily. “I-I-had myself dropped off, I don’t have a car.” I said haltingly. Her eyes became angry slits, “Janice, today you’re on at Bumby, Johnson, take her window.” You could stick darts in the wall of bad attitude she was throwing at me. With my tail between my legs, I hurried over to Janice’s window. Whenever I had a moment I wasn’t busy, I looked up to see Mrs. Cleveland glaring at me angrily.

My Michael picked me up after work, as Austin had to go to the Parliament house by the time I was through, he had decided to work despite his depression, as we needed the money. I had volunteered to stay late and do some paper work to make up for the morning. “You’re lucky you’re on Salary.” Mrs. Cleveland said, as I was finishing up the paper work, I just nodded as she continued, “Cause there isn’t a chance in Hell I’d have paid you for this otherwise.” She scoffed. I held my tongue, cause it sure as hell wanted to rip her in half from the inside. I steamed in my activities wanting nothing more than to lash out at her, but I finished my work and left without a word, from either of us.

“Well, it’s about fucking ti…” Michael started before I snapped, “Shut it Michael!” He turned to look at me and saw my angrily set jaw and violent slits for eyes. “Ok Alex, what gives? You look someone kicked you puppy.” I breathed out slowly, “I’m sorry, it’s my new Bitchy boss, GOD! I wanna just…” I said as I wrung my hands hostilely as though I were violently choking her. “Fucking god damned cunt!” I said using a word, I had never used before. Michael whistled, surprised to hear me use that word. “Sorry, good to see you though, wasn’t sure how I was gunna get home.” I said as I took a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm down. “So which car belongs to her?” Michael asked innocently, though coming from him it was almost creepy in its implication, “Over there.” I said indicating a burnt orange Sentra. “But you can’t do anything; she’ll think it’s me.” I said though to be honest I was amused at the implications. “Just relax smurf-turd.” Michael said as we pulled out.

Austin had left a pot roast in the slow cooker and baked vegetables in the oven for me. Although only Tempest was around to hear me, I said “awwwww…” as I swooned at how he took care of me even when he wasn’t home or feeling good. After dinner, I went out to Target, got a heating blanket, and picked up some of the groceries and household crap we needed while Austin was at work. I got home, plugged the heating blanket in, and had it at broil all evening as I waited for my baby. I was drinking a cup of coffee with tempest on my lap when Austin got home. “Hey Honey, sorry I’m late, I went over to play with Thunder for a few minutes.” “I didn’t realize you were late Austin, don’t worry about it,” I said before changing the subject, “I couldn’t get those spices at the Publix (a supermarket chain).” Austin walked up and wrapped himself over me lovingly, “Ahhh, no worries, I’ll head to the specialty markets tomorrow when you go to work” Austin said as he walked walked over and held his arms out and Tempest leaped right up in them, his mood was decided less depressed and solemn than that morning. “I keep forgetting, which one of you’se the girl?” Austin said smirking down at me as Tempest began rubbing his face against Austin’s and purring so loud I could hear it from across the room, I just made a sour face, “you’re so lucky we’re not having sex now anyways, cause you SURE as hell wouldn’t be getting any tonight!” I stated petulantly then added, “Oh, and we’re both males” I said acidly though it was obviously said in jest. Tempest didn’t care; he was purring his lungs out at the moment. He had clearly chosen Austin as his master; I was just a cheap substitute.

Austin went to the kitchen and took a few vitamins, before carrying his cat off to bed. I smirked at the ass of my big hunky boyfriend, “Hey, if I can’t have sex with your dog, you can’t fuck my cat!” I called out loudly. “Pervert!” Austin replied equally loud. I walked to the bathroom through our room and began brushing my teeth. Austin was rubbing Tempests chin with his big fingers as he watched me in the bathroom mirror. I shook my ass at him teasingly then said, “ah god a prezshent fho you” with my mouth full of toothpaste. “ohh youh dhid?” he said mimicking me as he stepped up and grabbed me from behind. I spit out the toothpaste, rinsed my mouth, and then nodded affirmation. “Yup, but you gotta brush your teeth and join me in bed to find out what…” Austin walked up behind me as I walked towards the bed and began rubbing my ass and bent over to kiss my neck, “I know what kind of surprise I want…” Austin said in his sexiest voice. “Dog, the “no sex” clause was your plan!” I said before spinning around and cupping his crotch. “But baby, you wanna play, I’m all yours.” I said as I walked past him to bed.

A few minutes later Austin walked in wearing a pair of boxer shorts and some sox, “After last night, I don’t wanna be caught without socks again if we might loose power.” He said before joining me in me in bed. He spooned me and suddenly said, “Mmmmmm, it’s so nice and toasty!” as he wrapped himself around me and squeezed me to him. “That’s the surprise, I got an electric blanket…” I said happily. “You do realize that if we loose power it’ll still stop working right.” Austin said with a superior slow amused question. “YES” I huffed, “but it will keep the bed warm until then and hopefully the extra heat will last a while.” I said as I snuggled back against him, his hard on spooned nicely in my butt cheek. “Hey?” I asked, “Hmmmm?” Austin replied as he began kissing my neck, “Just to be clear, if we land up fucking in our sleep, it won’t count right?” I asked. “Yeah, like we wouldn’t wake up for that… how could you be porked and not wake up?” He asked. “Don’t know ‘Floopy’- lets find out?” I offered back. Austin laughed. “This is going to be a lot harder on you than I first thought ‘smurf’.” He said running his tongue up from my neck to ear. “AND THAT isn’t helping!” I sighed. “Besides, I don’t want it harder ON me, I want it harder IN me!” I exclaimed with a whine. We bantered lovingly a few more minutes and I was glad my loving boyfriend had shown his face again, and then we fell asleep.

Mrs. Cleveland was a royal bitch the next day at work too, and I was glad I could leave the supreme bitch that afternoon. The next day she called me into her office after being 2 hours late to work. She was holding a large screw in her hand. “THIS!” she said holding the 8” screw out, “Was in my tire this morning Mr. Johnson,” she said with venom dripping from her lips. “Do you have any idea how it got there?” She asked pointedly. I didn’t know for sure, but it struck me as a very Michael thing to do. “No Ma’am,” I said. “guess you drove over it.” I offered, she gave me a squinty eyed glare, “Yes, convenient isn’t it?” Then she let me go back to the window.

As part of Mrs. Cleveland’s ongoing punishment, I was made to work that Saturday until noon while Austin and the gang helped Mrs. Tremere move. I was spitting hell fire mad when I got home, When Austin got home later that afternoon, he tried his best to calm me down but finally landed up hiding on the sun porch with Tempest. A little later, Austin came up to me meekly. “Can I tell you something you aren’t going to like?” He asked sweetly. My temper was back in the safe range so I apologized for being such a bitch earlier and said he could tell me. “Well, Donny, the manager of the dancers, wants me to shave or wax my chest, he said the costumers prefer smooth guys to hairy except during bear events.” My eyes dropped a moment and then I got an evil smirk, “Ok.” I said, “But I get to shave you myself tonight.” I could see his hard on through the nylon shorts he had on. “I thought you’d be more… I dunno “angry”…” Austin said placatingly. “I am, but we’re not having sex now anyways, I’ll be more upset after we’re married. Besides, it’ll be fun to shave that big beefy body of yours.” I said as I reached a hand up under his shirt and pinched a nipple.

Austin just grinned, as he got ready for work, “You’d better be ready tonight!” He said with a grin and an obvious hard on as he walked out. I got ready after he left and went to the Seattle scene. I walked in to Find Dawn already holding court with Marika, Robert, Tiago, Jorge and Henna, “And then we threw the doors open and marched in singing, ‘Da DA da dum’ (the tune from Gone with the wind) and every eye in the store turned to stare at us.” Dawn was saying to the group when they all looked up and noticed me. “Dawn, I hope you’re only covering the declassified stories.” I said nonchalantly. Dawn smirked and looked right at me when she said “Javier” with a Spanish accent. I closed my eyes and looked right hers with an “I DARE YOU” glare. Marika, Robert, and Tiago were all whooping it up trying to cajole the stories out of her. Dawn just turned regally to Marika, who had been the most vocal of them and said, “Just ask him about Javier and either Truth or Dare, or the drinking games and riding crop.” She said smirking at me and putting the burden of secrecy in my court,

As I was ignoring all the pleas for me to either tell them the story or give Dawn permission to. I gave her a look and said, “Ronny or the Mechanical bull?” This shut her right up, “Sorry guys, stories are done.” She announced quickly. Marika however, wouldn’t let it go and said, “Dawn, before you go home-you and I need to talk!”

We covered a lot of our normal songs that night, we’d added a few new Motown songs. Right before our first break the lights went down and Dawn got on the stool next to me. “Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m very excited and pleased to bring you the reason I’m up here singing for you, the lady who taught me to play guitar and first realized my singing talent many years ago. Put your hands together for Mrs. Dawn DiCorssacolla.” I said as the spotlight came up on Dawn who was wearing a forest green blouse and tan slacks. “This is the first song we preformed for other people” Dawn said as she began strumming the first few Cords of the Indigo Girls, Prince of Darkness. I joined in singing the low part as Dawn used her Soprano voice to harmonize the high cords.

My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
I do not feel the romance I do not catch the spark
I don't know when I noticed life was life at my expense
The words of my heart lined up like prisoners on a fence
The dreams came in like needy children tugging at my sleeve
I said I have no way of feeding you, so leave
But there was a time I asked my father for a dollar
And he gave it a ten dollar raise
When I needed my mother and I called her
She stayed with me for days
And now someone's on the telephone, desperate in his pain
Someone's on the bathroom floor doing her cocaine
Someone's got his finger on the button in some room
No one can convince me we aren't gluttons for our doom
But I tried to make this place my place
I asked for Providence to smile upon me with his sweet face
But I'll tell you
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
I do not feel the romance I do not catch the spark
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
(By grace, my sight grows stronger and I will not
be a pawn for the Prince of Darkness any longer)
Maybe there's no haven in this world for tender age
My heart beat like the wings of wild birds in a cage
My greatest hope my greatest cause to grieve
And my heart flew from its cage and it bled upon my sleeve
The cries of passion were like wounds that needed healing
I couldn't hear them for the thunder
I was half the naked distance between hell and heaven's ceiling
And he almost pulled me under
Now someone's on the telephone desperate in his pain
Someone's on the bathroom floor doing her cocaine
Someone's got his finger on the button in some room
No one can convince me we aren't gluttons for our doom
I tried to make this place my place
I asked for Providence to smile upon me with his sweet face
But I'll tell you
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
I do not feel the romance I do not catch of spark
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
(By grace my sight grows stronger, grows stronger)
I do not feel the romance I do not catch the spark
(And I will not be a pawn for the Prince of Darkness any longer)

The Audience, particularly the lesbians, loved this and we got a huge round of applause.

We then preformed a few other Indigo Girl Hits and Joan Baez numbers as Marika sang back up.

Although I stayed and talked with Dawn and the group a short time, I still got home before Austin. Although I always adored the neatly trimmed chest hair Austin had, and I loved cuddling up to it. The hair removal was for his job I reasoned, so I laid out the razor and extra heads for it, the shaving cream, scissors, towels, Polaroid camera {he loved taking pictures of me after he’d finished shaving me so I figured ‘what the hell?’ I also got out aftershave cream and a few moisturizers. Austin got home about 2:30 and was wearing his jeans and white cowboy hat, and a raggy red plaid shirt I didn’t recognize but was obviously part of a costume he’d worn for a number. He just came in and struck a pose leaning against the door frame and hiking his thumbs in his side belt loops, “Howdy partner,” He said smiling his dazzling grin at me and quickly scanning the shaving stuff with his dazzling blue eyes. I took a few pictures of him dressed as a cowboy. “Someone’s been a busy boy…” Austin started saying, I put my hand on his chest and got one last feel of the warm muscular chest that was so neatly furred. “Strip!” I ordered. Austin began removing his hat and shirt at the same time. “Leave the hat, just the pants and shirt!” I said without emotion. Austin stripped excitedly as I walked to our closet and got out some of the leather contraptions we’d gathered. I was thoroughly enjoying my little power trip as I shoved the naked Austin face first onto the bed and put a thick leather blindfold over his eyes and tied behind his head. “Ok big guy, you can fight if you want to, you already know it won’t help and this night is all about feeling, you don’t get to see what I do to you… Trust me?” I asked teasingly. “Always.” Austin said easily. “Yeah, we’ll see later…” I said softly as I rolled him over. “Austin was horny as hell and hard and already leaking, I knew now what had gotten him off when he played power monger over me. Austin was already breathing hard when I helped him stand up and walk to the bathroom; I had him stand in the tub and took his hat off before I used the detachable shower nozzle hose to spray him down with warm water.

As Austin stood there, dripping and wet, I took a few pictures having him face me then away from me. Then I got a hand of shaving cream and began to smooth it over his chest and belly. When he was all lathered up, I took a new blade in the safety razor and as I slid it over his chest, I said, “Next week we’ll have to try hot wax, to keep you from getting prickly.” I said as I rinsed the razor under the lukewarm spray. As I shaved his chest and belly, his dick began throbbing with each stroke of the blade.

“You’re gunna poke someone’s eye out with that thing… too bad we can’t do anything about it.” I said as I ran a finger up his chest to pinch his nipple. “You-you think to small,” Austin said softly as he breathed in and hissed from the exquisite pain. “No, I don’t want you to masturbate either, if I can’t get what I want, I’m sure as hell not letting you!” I said without any feeling.” Austin shook his head side to side, “That ain’t what I meant.” He said through tightly closed eyes as I began lathering up his pubes. “Explain!” I said as I reached up and began pinching a nipple. “It’s like dating a good catholic girl,” Austin said as I began shaving his belly down to his treasure trail. I just gave him a skeptical look and said “Uh huh!” Austin got excited and continued, “No, see, Good catholic girl is an oxymoron.” He said as I guided the razor down into his bushy pubes and began removing them.. “Go on, Continue!” I said. “See, a Good catholic girl can do ANYTHING except have sexual penetration.” Austin moaned as the razor slid past his shaft. “So you’re saying I can do anything but put my dick in your ass?” I asked, as I teased his cock a moment by lathering it up. “Y-Y-Yeah!” He moaned out slowly though I could tell he was fighting against me. “I-I-I think we should avoid…” Austin began saying as I took hold of his hard on to better shave his groin, he just shivered and began trying to fuck my hand. “Yes?” I inquired innocently. “Blow jobs.” Austin moaned as he tried again to fuck my hand holding his cock.

I was feeling particularly evil that night, and aimed the nozzle at his crotch and rinsed off the shaving cream, when I was done I leaned forward and licked the tip of his cock which almost made him collapse. “Are you saying we should avoid or that you want one?” I asked licking the tip again. “Oooh GOD!” Austin yelled as he took my head in his hands and held it back all with his eyes covered. “What?” I asked innocently. “EVIL! You are just pure evil!” Austin moaned as I stuck my tongue out as though I could reach his cock when I was being held at arms length away from him. “God almighty, don’t you have any self control?” Austin moaned through his weakened resolve. The remark about self-control slapped me so I stopped fighting and looked up at him as I pushed his hands aside, “Plenty!” I said then grabbed his hips, turned him away from me and pushed his back so he bent over. I smeared shaving cream over his ass and let my pointer finger slip into his hole a few times, which made him moan and curse me. “Yeah whore boy?” I asked, “Now who wants it?” Austin moaned a few times then said “Fucker” slowly as he put his hands on the back of the tub to steady himself as he stayed in the bent position. “That’s what I thought!” I said amused at how readily I had gotten his submission.

I finished shaving his ass, taking painfully slow strokes as I slid the razor over his inner ass cheeks. When I was done, I shaved his armpits, his arms, and then shaved his legs till they were smooth. When the shaving was done I Took out the Polaroid and took picture after picture, I even took pictures of me fingering his ass. Then I spent a long time sensuously smoothing moisturizers and balms over his now bare skin. The shaving made his cock look several inches longer. As I was getting ready to put some after shave on his ass, I remembered a birthday present Michael had gotten me a year back, that I’d never used, I was searching my brain trying to remember where I’d stashed it.

Finally, I remembered where I put the present and Austin was squirming and cursing from the after-shave I’d slapped on his ass. A trick he had taught me incidentally. I told him to stay in the tub while I ran to my nightstand and rummaged in the bottom draw. When I found the plastic container I was looking for, I used the pocketknife on top of my nightstand to open it, then grabbed a few things from my top draw and returned to the bathroom. “Well, well, well, my large friend, tonight you are going to learn to regret all your help.” I said menacingly into his ear. I freed Austin completely to dry off and then lead him into the bedroom, where I’d turned the heating blanket on. Austin laid face down on the bed and I got him to raise his ass and pull his legs underneath him to a kneeling position. Again I began to work moisturizers and lubricants over his skin, slow and easy, I tool a long, long time to work an index finger into his ass and very liberally spread a good amount of lubricant over it as I began talking sweetly to him. I could tell by the way his ass was flexing and contracting he was nervous, but after a fair amount of gentle rubbing and calm talking, I finally convinced him to relax. Several minutes later I stuck the head of the vibrator in his hole and turned it on, He couldn’t see it, but Austin groaned and his whole body contracted as the vibrations ran through him… I said, “Hold still, we have to get this all the way in.” Matter of factly, though I knew with clarity that it was a huge step for him. It wasn’t very big toy, maybe as big around as two fingers and about 7inches long, it was a gag gift from Michael, and I’d figured I’d re-gift it one day. It was perfect for this though, As Austin was rolling his head across the head of the bed moaning and speaking incoherent thoughts, I maintained a constant pressure and finally got most of it in. It was easy to tell when I hit his prostate gland, as his whole body shivered and he moaned much louder than he had. When I had it all the way in I stood back and took a whole box full of pictures, weather or not Austin knew this was hard to guess, though I suspected if he had, he would have protested more forcefully. For the longest time I refused to let him touch hims