Excerpt
from Jake's journal
By the time that Allen came in I was
feeling like my normal self. I probably wouldn't have said anything to him
about that black episode where all the negativity crashed around my head, but
Charley was having nothing of it. When Allen asked me how I was doing, I
answered with a bland "Fine, Doc."
"He may be fine now, Allen, but
thirty minutes ago he was having a bad time," Charley said. "One
moment he was happy and joking around with the PT guy and me, and the next he
was saying some real crap and being very depressed. It was real
Hyde-Jekyll". He made a monster face at me and laughed.
I couldn't help but grin. "All right,
I had a black episode. I'm all right now."
Allen looked at me. "A black episode? That's a good name for it."
I shrugged. "Hey, I got over it.
And I'm not a monster." I made a face at Charley. That he could joke and
laugh about it made my heart soar. I think that did more for getting me over
the hump than all the talking and analyzing I had done with Allen.
"Have you any idea what brought
it on?" Allen asked, ignoring Charley's antics.
"Everything was fine, Charley was joking with me while I was going through
the physical exercises. And then it just came over me like someone had thrown a
blanket over me."
"Do you remember what you were
thinking prior to the episode?"
"Sure. I was thinking how good
it felt to have Charley being himself with me."
"And then your mind did a flip
and started doubting everything?"
"That's a good way to describe
it."
"Jake, this kind of thing is to
be expected after your experience. You can probably expect a few more episodes
before you get over it. I feel that you will get over it quite soon because
there really wasn't a lot of trauma involved."
"If that's so why did he just lay down and go to sleep?" Charley asked.
Allen looked at me. "Can you
tell us why, Jake?"
I wasn't sure I wanted to try to
explain. I'd had enough Psych courses in college that I had a basic idea why.
Allen's bland professional expression for some reason aggravated me. I looked
at Charley. The love I saw in his eyes overwhelmed me. God I love him. Yes, he
deserved to know why I'd just stop living when I had so much to live for.
"I think that if I can express
what I was feeling the next morning maybe you can understand." I was
speaking to Charley.
"I'm not a promiscuous man. When
I was with Jim, I was with Jim. When I met you I was with you from then on. Jim
violated the sanctity of that.
"When I woke up and remembered
what he had done and how I had given in to the physical needs that he was
abusing, I felt dirty. I scrubbed my skin raw and still didn't feel clean. I
felt like he had taken my worthiness to be your mate. I felt that you would
reject me for being so easy. I mean I had ended up enjoying what Jim was doing
to me. If I could have spoken I would have been begging for more. And that
angers me, that I could be so weak.
"Jim knew of my weakness, of my
need. He took advantage of it. That made me angry at him. Angry
enough to attempt castrating him. I have never been so angry. I went
clear out to
"After he had given me the pill
he ignored my protests, he ignored my telling him I was with you now. And for
that he deserved to feel the fright I instilled in him. By the time I released
the rubber from the tool and let it tighten around his testicles I was coming
down from the adrenalin high from the anger. I crashed.
" The feeling of no longer being
worthy of your love, the feeling that you would reject me when you found out
I'd had sex with Jim, the depression that those thoughts brought on, along with
the plummet from the adrenalin high, pushed me over the edge. I never thought
about dying or even wanting to die. I wasn't trying to kill myself. I.....just
didn't care. And the sleep, it was like a narcotic. I didn't want anything
else. Just the blankness of that sleep."
Charley's love-filled gaze, when I finished talking,
wrapped around me like a soft warm blanket.
"I love you, Charley," I
whispered. He smiled and then cleared his throat looking at Allen.
"I hadn't realized how deeply
Jim had hurt you. It's a good thing that I talked to Jim before I heard this.
I'm sure his words of regret would have fallen on deaf ears. But there is one
thing you said I don't understand, you said Jim knew of your weakness, your
need. What were you saying? What did you mean by your need?"
I looked at Allen for help. Allen
smiled encouragement. "There's no better time than now, Jake."
I looked back at Charley. "I've
wanted to tell you this from day one. There just never seemed to be the right
moment, except for one time and it wasn't really right either because I had to
leave you for that damned book tour the next morning."
Charley was watching me intently. I
looked into his eyes begging him to understand what I had to say. I raised my
eyes to the ceiling. "There's only one way to say this I guess." I
took a deep breath. "I suppose you could call it an addiction. I need, I
crave.... to be fucked. To get my prostate stimulated. Once is never enough. I
want it again and again. The need is like an animal gnawing on my insides. I
think that was why I stayed with Jim so long when there were no emotional ties.
He knew my need and would give it to me anytime I needed it."
I glanced at Charley to see what his
reaction was. He looked back at me with a blank stare. I had no idea what he
might be thinking. I returned to staring at the ceiling. "Abstinence, I
discovered, keeps it under control. Although, there is this constant little
niggling in the back of my mind that never lets me forget about it. After you
got out of the hospital and I was taking care of you, I was driving your pickup
all the time. And when you went back to patrolling I got on my motorcycle for
the first time in a couple of months, the vibration between my legs made me
physically ill. If you remember, I didn't ride it again until I left to come
back here. Our last night before I left on the tour I let the need get the best
of me. I've spent many hours everyday since regretting that. I really messed up
what could....what should have been a perfect memory. I'm sorry for that."
Charley flew to the bed. He grabbed
both my hands in his. "It wasn't your fault, Jake, I failed you that
night. I should have been able to give you what your needed." He let go of
my hands, stood and walked to the window and stared out. "I knew what you
were wanting and I was scared. I'd never done that before." He turned and
looked at me. "I also lied to you. I told you I'd been with women. I never
have. I'd have made a good monk. I shied away from sex, denying to myself that
I was gay."
He looked at Allen. "I can see
the doubt in your face. I'm a big macho guy. I could have my choice of any man
or woman. I guess you'd be right. Many have tried. It wasn't that I wasn't
interested. I was scared. If I had tried having sex with a woman I knew I would
fail and if I did it with a man....well, either way I would have to admit I was
gay. By not having sex with either I was able to deny it to myself. I told
myself that I was saving myself for the right girl. Except it wasn't a girl I
was waiting for.
"When I saw Jake," he was
still talking to Allen, "I knew that the time had come. I'd met my mate.
It didn't matter anymore if I was gay. It was an instant certainty that having
Jake in my life was all that mattered. I guess that if he'd been straight I
would have had to have him as my best friend. I just knew I had to have him in
my life." He chuckled. "Luckily, he wasn't." Allen grinned.
Through all of this I was silent. My
mind was awhirl. So many little things were making sense. Now I understood. It hadn't
been revulsion for my needy past, he'd simply been
naive and fearful of not knowing what to do. That was why he'd made such a big
deal out of telling me how he'd researched it. And my fear of showing my
neediness had kept us from even discussing it.
"Jake?" I could tell by the
way Allen said my name that he'd asked me a question that I hadn't heard. I
blinked several times bringing my consciousness back in to focus. "I asked
how you feel about what Charley just said."
I cleared my throat. "A lot of things
make more sense now. It wasn't all bout me and my insecurities."
They looked at me as if they expected
me so say more. I shrugged.
"You don't want to expand on
that?" Allen asked.
"No, I want to think it all
through."
"How about
you, Charley? Do you have
anything you want to add?"
"Not right now."
"Well, I think that the doctor
will be releasing you this afternoon. I'd like to set up a couple of follow-up
sessions with you. Say once a week for the next couple of weeks?"
-=J=-
After Allen made his exit I stared at
Charley. He sat astraddle the chair, resting his chin on his arms which were
folded on the chair back. His expression was happy. He winked at me. I could
come in my pants just looking at him. Suddenly I wanted out of this hospital. I
wanted all my strength and energy back. I wanted Charley naked under my own
nakedness. I wanted to make love to him by fucking him. And I damned sure
wanted him to do the same to me.
I realized that he was grinning. I
grinned back. "You know what I'm thinking. Don't you?"
He nodded and said, "But I don't
think you have enough stamina yet."
"So I'll change places with you.
Let you do all the work," I said.
His grin got bigger. I'm sure all the
angels in heaven sigh every time Charley smiles.
End
of excerpt
-=J=-
Charley really hadn't thought he'd be able to take Jake home. He imagined what
the reaction of that stodgy nurse that pushed the wheelchair out to the curb
would have been if he'd had his Harley there waiting for Jake. He knew Jake
would have loved it, snuggling up against his back and hugging him tight right
in front of God and everyone.
Maybe it was a subconscious move on
his part or maybe it was Pete's, but when Pete offered him the use of his car
Charley took him up on it. So when Jake was released Charley had no worry about
how to get him home.
Charley was giddy as a kid with a
secret. He had a hard time waiting for the moment that Jake would see his
office set up in the house. Jake just chalked up Charley's
antsy giddiness to him getting out of the hospital.
-=J=-
Excerpt from Jake's journal
Allen's prediction was true. After the doctor had examined me, he said I could
finish recuperating at home. The nurse, of course, had to wheel me to the curb.
I wondered if it was a power play on their part, doing that.
Charley was standing next to Pete's
car holding the door open. When I stood up he wrapped me in a hug and planted a
kiss on my lips. I for a moment wondered what the nurse thought and then
thought to hell with it and really got into hugging and kissing him back.
I heard the nurse sigh and say
"Such a waste."
Charley broke away and smiled at her.
"No, it's not. This is the way God meant for us to be. God does not
waste." She turned red, chagrined, she wheeled the chair away.
Charley drove away from the hospital, but not toward my apartment. I looked at
him as he pulled up in front of Pete and Jason's.
"You're not going back into that
apartment. Jason, Pete and I cleaned it out and put everything in storage until
we move into our new home. Until we find it, we're staying with our young
friends."
"I like those words."
"What words? Young
friends?"
"Friends is
nice. Our home. I like those words."
Charley grinned and then jumped out
of the car and ran around to open my door. I opened it myself, got out and met
him in front of it. "I'm not an invalid. And I'll only get into bed if
you're there in it with me."
As I remembered, Pete and Jason had
moved into the big room up stairs. Charley led me into what had been the master
bedroom when Dave and Bill had lived here. I looked at the king-size bed and
then at him. He looked back at me and then at the bed. "Let's settle you
in first." He opened the closet. "I moved all your clothes over here.
That dresser contains all your folding clothes."
I moved over to him. "You're not
scared of me are you, Charley?"
He looked startled. "No, of course not."
"We've been here five minutes
and I still have my clothes on."
"But... but we have to settle
you in first. I...We have a surprise for you." His impatient eagerness was
childlike. He was grinning like a Cheshire cat. That's another thing I love
about him. He loves giving surprise gifts.
"I want another kiss first. And a full body hug." I insisted.
The tender look he gave me melted me.
A couple of minutes later, out of breath, I pulled back and said in an innocent
voice as I rubbed my hardness against his, "I thought you had something to
show me. Looking down at the bulge in his Levi's as I rubbed my hand over it, I
asked, "Shall I unwrap it?"
"There's nothing surprising about
that. Anytime I get near you it's that way. Come," he said, taking my hand
and leading me out of the bedroom. He yelled for Jason and Pete. And then took
me into one of the small bedrooms down the hall.
It was like I had been instantly
transported from that house to my office in my apartment, it was set up in that
little bedroom just like it had been the last time I had been in it. I walked
over to the desk. The text I'd been working with was opened to the page I'd
left it on, with my metal ruler laying across the open pages the same way I
always left it.
The bookshelves were as they had been
last time I saw them. I checked the order of the books, Yes,
the top shelf was all my reference books, the huge Webster's dictionary, the
Thesaurus, The Family Word Finder. The first books on the second shelf were my
favorite gay novels, "The Charioteer" by Mary Renault and
"Maurice" by E.M.Forrester, and the
"Front Runner" and its two sequels by Patricia Neal. My pictures, one
a blowup of my parents farm house and barn, were on
the walls. I turned and looked at Charley. "How.....why?"
Charley just stood there grinning.
"Because we love you and want
you to feel at home while you stay with us." Jason piped, peeking around Charley's bulk.
"It just like the whole place
was transported."
"It was Pete's idea. We
photographed everything and put it in here just as it was in your
apartment," he said, wrapping an arm around my waist.
"So we expect that next novel to
be written right here," Pete said, as he came into the room and gave me a
hug. He then apologized for not coming to visit me in the hospital.
"You guys don't even say
hi?" I asked.
They had their arms around each
other's waist as they grinned at me and said in unison, "Hi, Jake."
"You're a couple of smart-assed
shit heads." I grinned at them.
"Yeah, but you love us."
Pete said.
"And we love you, Jake."
Jason chimed in.
"Yes, we do." Charley said
as they all three moved in to give me a group hug.
'Damn,' I thought 'this kind of thing
really makes life good.' "I love you guys, too. Thanks, this is so
thoughtful," I replied, enjoying the closeness of my friends and lover.
"But I still don't get why you did this."
"I don't think it would have
been a good idea for you to go back into that apartment. You don't need to relive
that night," Charley explained. "So we moved all of your furniture
into storage, threw the bed in the dumpster and moved
your office and personal belongings here. You and I will find a place of our
own and start fresh, on a new mattress." He grinned at me.
I think that if love hadn't been
emanating so strongly from his eyes as he told me this I would probably have
blown a gasket. Because of the love I could feel, I let him have the right to
make that decision for me . I stood there basking in
it. It amazed me that he loved me. I was only marginally aware that Jason and
Pete were in the room.
"Lunch is almost ready. If you
want to freshen up you've got about twenty minutes," Pete said, breaking
my trance as he wrapped an arm around Jason and started to guide him from the
room.
"God, I'd love a shower. Bed
baths just don't quite do it," I told them.
"I think I'd better go help him.
He's really not strong enough yet to shower by himself," Charley said,
grinning at Jason.
With a sassy smirk, Jason agreed with
a vigorous nod.
I just smirked back. "Yeah, I
need for Charley to give me lots of attention."
The shower took a lot longer than
twenty minutes. We had the two boys pounding on our bedroom door and yelling
things at us that had Charley turning red clear down to his toes even though we
were alone in the bathroom.
We rushed to dry off and get out to
the kitchen table, if for no other reason than to shut those two kids up. They
were having a ball ragging on us. Thank God they had classes to get to that
afternoon.
That left us all the privacy we could
want for the next three hours. Once alone, we stood looking at each other,
suddenly shy.
"You want to lie down
awhile?" Charley asked.
I grinned at him feeling mischievous.
It just felt so good to be back with him again. "I'll go to bed, if you go
with me. But--- you have to be naked."
He blushed, looking and acting like a
little boy. "I'll get naked if you will."
"Damn, Charley, if I had the
strength right now I'd pick you up and carry you into the bedroom."
I didn't know that he could move so
fast, for the next thing I knew he'd scooped me up in his arms and I was
hanging onto his neck, hoping he wouldn't drop me.
"Relax, Jake," he murmured
in my ear.
I guess this was supposed to be
romantic, but I felt damned silly being carried. I expected to be dumped onto
the middle of the bed, but Charley knelt and gently laid me down. That was
romantic and loving. I sought his lips as he hovered over me. He responded with
passion as his fingers sought the buttons on my shirt.
"You're going to get fucked,
Jake. But this fuck is going to be filled with so much love that you'll never
want it any other way. I'm going to fill you with all my love, Jake."
"Do it, Charley, fill me with
your love."
By now he had our clothes off. He
spread his big hot body over mine, touching, feeling, kissing.
"You're mine, Jake. And I am
yours. Yours alone."
He smothered my face with kisses.
When he got to my mouth, his tongue sought mine. I concentrated on the kiss
unaware that he had grasped my cock and positioned it at his rear entrance. He
sat up and stared at me intently, "This is all for you, Jake. Relax and
let me try to do it right." he said as he positioned my cockhead at his hole.
"God, Charley,
you can't do it wrong, unless you hurt yourself going too fast." I groaned, trying not to push up against
him. He grunted as he impaled himself on my shaft. I couldn't believe it. The
devious man had obviously lubed himself well before heading to the hospital to
pick me up." "Oh man, that feels so fantastic."
"I've been stretching it for the
last two months," he gasped settling on my pelvis, "I bought a dildo
the size of your cock, I've been practicing." He smiled. "Have no
doubts, Jake. You are the only one forever."
He slowly rode up and down my cock
like he'd been doing it forever. I lay on my back thrusting up to meet his
every downward thrust. I could feel my cockhead rub
over his prostate. His head was thrown back. His eyes were squinched
closed. He was totally into doing this.
Suddenly his eyes popped open and he
stared intently at me. "Oh, God, this is too much. I'm coming, Jake, I'm
coming."
That did it. Between his words and
his sphincter gripping my cock so hard, I could hold back no longer. "I'm
with you, Babe. Oh damn, take my load Charley."
He covered my face, chest and belly
with his creamy jelly and I filled his hot insides. Charley collapsed on me;
his cum sealing us together. When he had recouped he raised his head and
grinned at me. "Damn, Jake you're a mess." he started licking his cum
from my face.
"I thought you were going to
fuck me, Charley." I whined.
"Didn't you like that?" he
asked between lapping my nose and eyes.
"Oh man, I really liked that,
but I need you inside of me."
"Patience, Jake," he said,
lapping the last gob off my forehead. He then kissed me depositing it in my
mouth. He sat back and grinned. "I love the taste of you, Charley."
He leaned down and kissed me again. Then, he slid down my body, crouched
between my legs and lifted them onto his shoulders. Using his cum scraped off
my chest as lube, he massaged and played with my ass
using his fingers to penetrate me. When he found my nut he rubbed it until I
begged him to fuck me. He grinned at me and kissed me on the nose. "I thought
you were going to be satisfied with just my fingers." he said.
"You're a funny man,
Charley," I grunted, "but I need to feel your big cock in there. Fuck
me, Charley. Please, fuck me." I begged.
Later I was to wonder why we couldn't
have been this open with each other in the beginning. I guess little hang ups
do just that-- Hang us up.
Charley sat back and grinned like a
kid with a new toy. He rubbed the head of his cock over my hole, teasing me.
"Come on, Charley, give it to me. Claim me and make me totally
yours." Those words did it. He lost his grin and with an intense, serious
expression, he began a maddeningly slow penetration.
I wanted to scream for him to ram it
into me. But I looked into his eyes and saw the love and tenderness and knew
that he wanted to do this right; to cause me no pain. And then the upward curve
of his cock, which I'd not really noticed before, rubbed over my nut. The
intense pleasure I craved filled my being. I groaned and Charley froze.
"Are you okay, Jake? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, Charley. It just feels so
good. Don't stop," I whimpered.
The head of his cock brushed over my
prostate again and again. I closed my eyes and tried concentrating on not
coming. The feeling was so intense. Never had I been slowly fucked like this
before and I was loving it. Then I made the mistake of
opening my eyes and gazing into Charley's love filled
eyes. I lost all control. I shot, hitting myself in the face. Charley grinned
and leaned down to lick it off as I filled the space between our bellies with
the rest of my orgasm. I knew at that moment, there would never be anyone for
me but Charley. And that he was so very capable of filling my need.
He continued to rub over my prostate,
building to his own orgasm. I was in hyper-drive when he came and I came for
the second time with him in me. I couldn't believe that he'd made me come three
times in less than an hour.
He collapsed onto my chest and
wrapped his arms around me. "Why haven't we done this before? He mumbled
the question into my neck.
"We were both scared I
guess." I sighed with contentment.
"Well, guess what."
"Hmm?"
"I'm not scared anymore."
End
of Excerpt
-=J=-
Dave received a call late that
afternoon from the Hospital Administrator. He was on a first name basis with
the man having donated a large amount of money to the hospital.
"Dave, This
is Donald Ingrams. It is my understanding that you
employ Jim Provost as a nurse."
"Yes, Donald, he is working for
the Paolinis actually. He takes care of Joe's grandfather
who is getting up there in age."
"I dislike having to inform you
that his license to practice nursing has been revoked."
Dave was quiet for a moment as he
digested the information. "This has something to do with Jake Shipman
being in the hospital, doesn't it?"
"Yes, Dave it does."
"May I know what he did?"
"Since you're his employer and
are a friend of Mr. Shipman's, I believe you need to know." He paused,
Dave heard him take a deep breath and let it out. "He used a date rape
drug on him."
"Oh my God. That's hard to believe."
"It's true. After we interviewed
Mr. Shipman and Mr. Hill to whom Provost confessed the entire thing, he
admitted to us that he had done it. Even though he was very contrite and
Shipman had forgiven him and is not pressing charges, there is no way the man
can be allowed to continue practicing nursing."
"I see."
"I'm sorry,
Dave, but those are the facts."
"Well, thank you for telling
me."
Dave called Joe and told him of his conversation with Ingrams.
Joe immediately left the job site and went to his parent's home to tell them.
His dad went back to the little cottage where his father lived and asked him
and Jim to please come to the main house.
They were in the middle of a game of
chess and the old man complained about the interruption. Joe Sr. went back to
the house leaving Jim to walk with the family patriarch.
-=J=-
"I guess we have to get rid of
him. He is no longer a registered nurse," Angie said.
"I hate to have to do it. He's
the first companion that dad has ever gotten along with. Hell, he treats him
like he's his son," Joe Sr. replied. "Dad's going to be upset, that's
a certainty."
-=J=-
When Jim entered the living room with the old man he helped him sit, and made
sure he was comfortable. They both knew that the time had come, and had come
much sooner than either of them had expected. Jim was sorry it had. He loved
the old man like the father he'd never had. And now because of his stupidity he
was losing him, too.
"Stop fussing." the old man
grumbled. Jim straightened up and stood beside him. He looked expectantly at
the others.
"Jim, why
haven't you informed us that you have lost your nurses licence?" Joe Sr. asked.
"As far as I know, Sir, it's not
official yet. I was planning on telling you as soon as I got word that it
is."
" Well, we have just gotten word that it is
official." Joe said.
"I see." Jim's head was
bowed in shame. They had told them before they had told him. They hadn't even
given him the chance to tell the family himself. Now he was being terminated
without ever having had the chance to quit.
"Would one of you mind telling
me what this is all bout?" the old man demanded looking up at Jim. No one
but Jim saw him wink. Jim wondered why. The old man knew this moment would be
coming, why was he acting like he didn't?
"Dad, Jim has lost his licence to be a nurse. We're going to have to let him
go," Joe Sr. said.
"Poppycock."
Jim looked at the old man. He
couldn't help but see the fondness for him in his eyes.
Joe Sr. looked at his wife and his
son and then back at his father. "Do you know why he lost his
license?"
The old man nodded. "Yes, Jim
told me that he used a date rape drug on his ex boyfriend. He is ashamed of
having done it. He is remorseful."
" Then what choice do we have, Dad?"
"You have the choice of not
firing him,"he barked.
"Is that what you want,
Dad?" Joe Sr. asked.
"That's what I want. If you fire
him, I'll just have to hire him on my own."
"Dad, we would never think of
going against your wishes. If you want to keep Jim as your companion we will
not object." Joe Sr. looked at Jim. "It looks like you stay."
"Thank you
sir. I appreciate that. I
love your father as if he were my own dad."
"I know you do. It's very clear
in how you two interact."
Old Joe pushed himself up out of the
chair and grabbed Jim's arm. "Come on, Jim, we have a game of chess to
finish."
The old man was chuckling to himself as they left the big house. "You
thought I was going to let them fire you, eh? No, my boy, I like having you
around." He glanced at Jim. "And don't you dare start kowtowing to
me, you hear?"
Jim grinned at him, put his hands
together in supplication and bowed several times as he said, "Ah so,
Master Joe. Anything you say, Master Joe. Me no kowtow to
you."
Old Joe raised his cane and smacked
him across his rump. "Don't get smart with me, you young whipper-snapper."
Jim laughed. "I hadn't heard
that name since my grand dad called me that when I was six."
-=J=-
Joe watched out the kitchen window as
his grand dad and Jim wended their way back to the little cottage at the back
of the yard. The camaraderie between the two was endearing.
"They are obviously good
friends," he said, turning to find his parents watching over his shoulder.
"Well, even though he's not a
registered nurse now, he's definitely a good companion for Dad," Joe Sr.
said.
"He's never had to act as a
nurse yet with Dad. When the time comes we'll just have to hire a nurse,
too," Angie stated.
-=J=-
Charley sat in front of Paul Hanson's
desk, looking a little exasperated and depressed. Paul was trying his best to
look sympathetic, but was having a difficult time hiding his smile. He'd just
told Charley that he couldn't start to work yet; Dave simply wouldn't allow it.
"Damn it, Paul. There's no
reason that I can see that prevents me from it."
"Well, let's examine the
situation. One, Jake is still visiting Dr. Chestnut. Two, you still haven't
found your own place to live."
"Jake seems to really enjoy
living where we are. The guys are a big boon to him. Besides what does any of
that have to do with me going to work?"
"I have my orders, Charley. And
they say not to bring you in until you and Jake are settled. So how do you like
living there with three other guys?"
"It's alright. I really like
Pete and Jason. They're cool kids."
"But....?"
Charley grimaced. "Yeah, I miss
my privacy."
"Have you discussed this with
Jake?"
"No, he seems happy there, so I
haven't rocked the boat."
"Hmm. Talk to him. Tell him how
you feel."
"Is that and order?"
"Do I need to make it one?"
Paul sounded just slightly exasperated.
Charley hung his head, and shook it.
"No, I'll talk to him."
"He may be putting on a face
because he sees you being happy there."
Charley looked up at Paul. "I
never thought of that."
Paul grinned. "There's also a
third reason you can't go to work yet."
Charley raised his eyebrows in
inquiry.
"You still haven't moved over
here. You're still living out of your suit case."
Charley nodded and didn't say
anything. He was reluctant to ask Jake to confront his mother and brothers
again. Actually, he was reluctant to confront them too, too. He'd heard his
mother's words, had felt the sincerity in her voice, but was still hesitant to
trust her face to face with Jake. But if the situation was to be stabilized,
they were going to have to do it eventually.
"Okay, Paul. It's just that I
feel so guilty receiving a full salary and not doing a damned thing to earn
it."
"You're earning it. Just not in any conventional way."
Charley snorted and stood up. "Yeah, right."
Paul stood and stepped around the
desk. He laid a friendly arm around Charley's
shoulder. "Just do what you have to do."
"I'll go talk to Jake,
now." Charley stood to leave.
Paul patted him on the back as they
moved toward the door. "You may be surprised by what you find out."
-=J=-
The house seemed to be empty when he entered the front door. As he headed down
the hall toward their bedroom he could here the faint clatter of the keys on
the Jake's keyboard from the room they'd set up as Jake's office,. He stuck his head through the opened door and watched his
lover at work. 'Damn, he is such a beautiful man. I'm so lucky he's mine,' he
thought to himself.
Jake, feeling Charley's
presence, looked up and saw him standing in the doorway and grinned. "Hey,
Babe," he said.
"Hey,
yourself. How's the writing
going."
"You showed up just in time. I
just ran out of gas." Jake pushed back from his keyboard and stretched. Charley's breath caught as Jake's tee shirt rose, exposing
his hard flat stomach. He swallowed hard as he took in the magnificence of
Jake's body. Clothed he was stunning, naked he was breathtaking. They had
started working out together at Jake's old gym. And although Jake was still a
little gaunt, he was toned up again. Charley loved watching him move. He was so
fluid, and panther-like. Charley grinned lasciviously, as he watched Jake rise
out of his chair and move toward him. Jake knew without asking why he was
grinning. Charley had told him often enough.
Their arms encircled each other.
Their lips met in greeting, while they enjoyed just holding each other.
"Let's get a cup of coffee and sit down and talk," Charley said.
Jake looked concerned.
"Something's wrong?"he
asked.
"No, nothing is wrong. We just
need to talk." He had an arm around Jake's waist as they headed into the
kitchen.
Jake opened a cabinet and took out
the can of Folger's. As he proceeded to fill the
coffee maker Charley leaned against the counter next to him. Jake looked at
him. "What?"
"I just get great pleasure in
watching you."
Jake kissed him on the nose.
"The pleasure is mutual, you know." He pushed the "on"
button and turned to give his total attention to Charley. "Okay, what is
on your mind?"
Charley wrapped his arms around
Jake's torso and pulled him tight against himself. "Are you happy
here?" he asked.
Jake pushed back to where he could
look into Charley's eyes. "Sure, I love Jason
and Pete. I even like Teddy, but I think we need to move. I think it's time we
seriously look for our own place."
"Why haven't you said
something?" Charley asked.
"Same reason you haven't,
probably."
-=J=-
Monday morning Jake awoke to a warm wetness around his throbbing cock. His
hands sought Charley's hair. He loved to run his
hands through it now that he was letting it grow out. "Oh man, what a way
to wake up," he mumbled.
Charley pulled off of Jake's hard
member long enough to say, "Good morning, Love."
In the afterglow as they came back to earth, Jake lay on his back. Charley
snuggled against his side, with his head on Jake's shoulder and his leg laying over Jake's genitals.
"The real estate lady called
yesterday about a house near here that she thought we would like. Do you feel
like looking at it?" Jake asked
"Sure. When?"
"How about an
hour from now. That should
give us time to shower and dress and have some breakfast."
"Will you wash my back for
me?"
Jake chuckled. "You know I'll
wash your back for you. Shall I tell her two hours from now?"
"That sounds good. I want to
wash yours, too."
"Go get the water ready. I'll
call her."
Charley was in the shower when Jake entered the bathroom. "Come on in,
Babe. The water's great." As Jake stepped in, Charley handed him the bar
of soap. "You have to wash my front first," he said knowing Jake
would be doing a lot more than just wash his back once he turned around.
-=J=-
The house was perfect. The bottom floor was basically divided in half, a
kitchen/dining area in the back half , with a small
bedroom and three-quarter bath. The front half was a livingroom/den
with a huge fireplace in the front. Upstairs was broken up into two large
bedrooms, each with its own bath and two small ones sharing a bath.
The back yard was fenced for privacy
so they could enjoy the swimming pool in the nude if they wanted. The houses on
all three sides were all one story.
The price was right and with Charley's savings and Jake's big bonus they could make a
sizable down payment. With a fifteen day escrow they could move in almost as
soon as they could get Charley's possessions moved
over from
Jake stood in the dining area looking
out over the well groomed yard. "You know, Charley, this is where I'm
going to be writing."
Charley wrapped an arm around Jake's
shoulder. "So, is there a problem with that? You still need an office for
all your books and stuff and that downstairs bedroom will be perfect for
that."
Jake turned and embraced his big
blonde handsome lover. "How come it took so long for us to find each
other?"
Charley kissed him on the neck and
mumbled something. It didn't matter that Jake didn't understand what he said
because he was sure it was something filled with love.
-=J=-
The escrow was due to close in five days. Totally committed to each other, Jake
and Charley were now becoming co-owners of a new home. They both felt the
burden of the big change that was occurring in their lives.
"So do you want to go on both
bikes?" Charley asked. It was Thursday afternoon and Jake had just talked
to the real estate agent. Everything was going as planned. By next Tuesday the
papers should be ready to sign.
"Well, let's think this out.
Your pickup is there. And we have to bring it and both bikes back. I guess what
we could do is rent a small U-haul and one of us drive
that and the other drive the pickup with the two bikes in the back."
"Sounds like a plan. You want to
leave tomorrow?"
"I can leave anytime. I'm way
ahead of schedule on my book."
"Great. Then let's get ready now
and we'll leave in the morning."
Charley called his parents and told
them they were coming. They were informed that they would be expected for
dinner that night.
-=J=-
The sun had just risen above the horizon when they set off toward
"Yeah, let's go to
Sally's," Charley suggested.
Jake grinned. "Like there is any
other place we'd go."
The lunch hour was just slowing when
they wheeled into the parking lot in front of the café. They stepped up to the
counter that was only partially occupied and pulled off their helmets and
leather jackets before they sat down.
Sally came rushing through the swinging doors from the kitchen. She saw Charley
and squealed her delight as she ran around the counter to give him a hug. "Charley, where have you been hiding. You just
disappeared. You didn't even say good-bye and then I heard you'd quit the force
and left town." She let go of him and turned to Jake. "Are you okay
now?" she took his hands in hers.
"Why wouldn't I be okay?"he dissembled.
"I know you were in the
hospital. Chess has kept me up to date."
"Oh, well, I'm fine now,"
he said, wondering just how much Chess had really told her.
"You better be, you've got a
full time job now." she darted her eyes at Charley to indicate what that
job was.
Jake grinned. "You got it
backwards. He's the one with his hands full."
"It's so good to see you guys.
Do you want some lunch?"
Charley grinned. "You think we
just came to see you?"
"Of course. The food isn't that good."
-=J=-
When Charley and Jake rolled into Charley's street, the first thing they saw was Gloria's
sleek little Mercedes parked in the driveway. Charley stopped a half a block
from the house and looked at Jake. "Are you ready for this, Babe?"
Jake grinned. "I'm ready to grab
the tiger by her tail."
Laughing, Charley replied,
"Let's hope it doesn't come to that." He put his big Harley into gear
and cruised on down the street, Jake followed a length behind him. They pulled into
the driveway, and parked their motorcycles in front of the car.
Gloria was on the front porch to
greet her son and his lover as they climbed the steps, removing their leather
jackets. She was all warm smiles. Charley wrapped his arms around her and kissed
her cheek. "Hi, Mom."
She kissed him back. "It's so
good to see you, Son." She then turned and smiled at Jake. "Welcome
back, Jake." She held out her arms to him. He nodded and smiled, and then
hesitantly stepped into her embrace, putting one arm around her back. She
kissed his cheek, and whispered, "Forgive me for having been such a
bitch."
Jake pulled back and looked at her.
She looked sincere. "It's all forgotten," he said, wondering if what
she'd said was as much a lie as his own words were..
"Come on in the house. I came
over and opened it up to air out. Chess will be over in a little while. I
brought lots of boxes and I started packing the kitchen already."
"Are you trying to rush us out
of here, Mom?" Charley grinned to show he was joking, but she was looking
elsewhere.
"Oh heavens,
no. I'm just trying to be
helpful. Would you boys like some coffee? Do you need to rest before you start
packing?"
"Charley hugged her shoulder. "Mom, I was just joking. I'm delighted that you're
helping."
"I wish you were staying for a
bit."
"Like I told Dad over the phone,
I start to work as soon as we get settled in the new house. Right now I'm being
paid for being idle, and I'm feeling guilty about it. I need to go to
work."
Gloria smiled. "I guess we
succeeded in instilling a good work ethic in you."
"Yeah, you did."
Meanwhile, Jake had wandered through
the house doing a mental inventory of what needed do be done. When he stepped
into the bedroom he stopped and stared at the bed. Memories of the wonderful
times shared with Charley washed over him. He recalled the discomfort of the
last night he'd been in that bed. He sighed and then grinned, thinking of how
things had gotten so much better in the last few weeks.
He heard Charley call his name.
"I'm in the bedroom," he answered back.
A moment later, Charley walked up
behind him and wrapped him in a warm hug, grinding his pelvis into his butt.
Looking over Jake's shoulder, he motioned toward the bed with his head.
"We had some wonderful times in here, didn't we?"
"Yeah we did."
Charley nuzzled Jake's neck. Jake
stretched his neck to the side giving Charley more area to work on as it sent
goose bumps down to his toes. "What are your plans for this place, Babe,
are you going to sell it?" He tried to ignore his arousal. "God,
Charley, if you don't stop that..... Your mother's in the other room."
Charley relented and laid his chin on
Jake's shoulder.
"I talked it over with Dad. He
thinks I should keep it and rent it. The rent would make the monthly payments
plus leave a little profit each month."
Jake turned his head and kissed Charley's cheek. "That sounds like a sound plan to
me," he said. "You want to take all this furniture back with
us?"
"That's something we need to
jointly decide. I guess we should discuss it piece by piece." He turned
Jake in his arms and brushed his lips over Jake's.
They were interrupted by Gloria
clearing her throat. "Oh," she said, "I'm sorry. I wasn't
expecting....."
"Get used to it Mom. We tend to
do this a lot." He turned and grinned at his mother, while Jake furiously
blushed and stayed behind him. "Although, we will try to
contain ourselves while we're here."
"Listen you two,
don't make a big deal of it. I'm truly delighted that you make each other so
happy. I just was surprised is all."
"And what was it you came back
here for?"
"Oh. I...oh, yes. Should I clean
out the refrigerator now?"
"There is no food in it is
there?"
"No, I emptied it completely
when you left. But it should be washed down for your new tenants."
"We don't plan on eating here. Maybe a six-pack to chill, but no food. So you might as well
go ahead."
"Thank you, Dear,
you boys go back to what you were doing." She turned and headed back to
the kitchen.
Jake stood gaping. Finally he asked,
"Who is that woman?"
"That's what I kept asking after
I got shot, when you were living here with me,"Charley
said, grinning. "This is my real mom."
"Menopause you think?"
"What?
"They say women can change
personalities while going through their change of life."
Charley shrugged. "Maybe, but
whatever, my mom is back to her old self."
-=J=-
Chess showed up at Charley's house in
"I'm doing well, Chess. Charley
is the greatest. He's been such a boon in getting me through this."
"I'm happy to hear that. You two
were made for each other."
"We know that, Dad," Jake
said.
Chess pulled back and grinned at him.
"You've made my day." He
pulled Jake back into another hug. "You know that, don't you?" Jake
didn't answer. He just hugged a little harder.
Charley put his arms around both
men's shoulders. "I'm so glad you two like each other," he said.
"I think it goes way beyond just
liking each other," Chess said, looking at Jake. Jake nodded and smiled.
Charley smiled happily at the two
most important men in his life. "I love you guys."
Unnoticed by the three men, Gloria
stood in the kitchen doorway. She smiled as she witnessed the intimate
camaraderie between her husband, her youngest son and his lover. She thought,'Maybe it really will all work when the time
comes.'
-=J=-
It's curious that with all the intimate details that Jake revealed in his tale,
he'd never mentioned the phone call that he'd received from Chess while he was
still in the hospital. They had talked for over two hours. Jake shared things
from his childhood with him that he'd never told anyone. Chess had listened and
commented once in awhile, but mostly he just listened. And when Jake had
finished, Chess had told him that as far as he was concerned he was as much his
son as Charley. "Thanks, Chess," Jake had said. "You've been
more of a dad to me in the last couple of hours than my father ever was."
"Remember, Jake," Chess had
told him. "You are well loved. Get well, Son."
That long talk with Chess was
probably the main reason that Jake made such a quick recovery. For whatever
reason, he still hadn't told Charley about it. He knew he would eventually tell
him. He knew he would also tell him everything he'd said to Chess that night.
Not yet, though. He wasn't ready yet. Their relationship still had some
building and strengthening to do before he did.
-=J=-
In the next few hours, Charley and
Jake made decisions about what they were taking from the house, and what they
would sell. Gloria volunteered to have an estate sale to get rid of what they
left. With Chess and Gloria's help the fellows soon had the small U-Haul Truck
loaded, locked and ready to head out the next morning. The pickup was in
Chess's garage, so they left the U-Haul in the driveway and rode their
motorcycles over to their house.
Trepidation gripped Jake as they
trooped into the house with their saddlebags slung over their shoulders. He
kept expecting Gloria to turn on him at any moment. They followed along behind
her as she led them upstairs. "Charley's room
has only a single bed, so, Jake, you'll...." She stopped mid sentence.
"Now I'm really being silly. If it was Tom or Robert he'd be in the guest
room with his wife." She turned and looked at Jake. "You two will
sleep in the guest room. I apologize, this is just taking some getting used to,
you know."
"We know, Mom, and we appreciate
your effort," Charley said, hugging her with his free arm.
Speaking to Jake, she said, "I
know I gave you a bitch of a time when you were living here with my son. I
apologize, Jake. And I want you to know that I look forward to the day that you
can call me mom."
Jake gave her a tight little smile
and nodded. Gloria studied him a moment. "It's all going to be okay, Jake.
With Charley's love, and ours, you'll soon let it all
go." Before he could respond, she turned and went into the guest room to
check that everything was in order. Charley followed his mother into the room
unaware that Jake was still standing in the hall.
Jake realized that Chess had told her
why he had been in the hospital. At first he felt like he'd been betrayed, but
as he thought about it he realized that it was only natural that Chess would
share general information with his wife. He knew in the depths of his heart
that Chess would never tell anyone the things they'd talked about that night
that he'd bared his soul to him. He shrugged, and followed his lover into the guest
room. Gloria had turned down the duvet and fluffed the pillows when she saw
him.
"I want you to know that you're
as much one of the family as Dotty or Elaine, Jake," she said to him.
Gloria had planned on a big breakfast
with Tom and Robert and their families joining them. Charley convinced her that
it would be best to go to Sally's. There they could visit, Sally could make
some money, and they'd have no dirty dishes to wash. Jake was relieved that the
meeting with Charley's brothers was going to be in
pubic. Breakfast turned out to be very congenial.
-=J=-
After all the family had left, Jake
and Charley hung around in the café to say their goodbyes to Sally. She was
tearful, but happy for the two men. As they drove away in the pickup, loaded
with the two motorcycles, she called out, "Don't stay away too long. Come
back and see me. Hear?"
They stopped at the house and went
through it again to see if anything had been forgotten and then took a few
minutes to pay some special attention to each other. After a final knee
weakening kiss, they locked it up and stood in the yard looking at the house
where they had started their life together.
"Ready to hit
the road?" Charley
asked.
"Who's driving what and who
follows?"
"You drive the pick up and
follow, then we'll switch half way."
"Sounds like a plan," Jake
said, heading for the pickup.
-=J=-
Tuesday, Charley and Jake signed all
the papers and took possession of the house. With Pete and Jason's help it was
barely five o'clock by the time they had all the furniture moved in, the
kitchen unpacked, the clothes hung in the closet, and the bed made.
Pete and Jason were sprawled on the
leather sofa that had come from Charley's old house.
Jake had collapsed into his favorite old chair. Charley came in carrying four frosty
long necks, handed one to each of them and then he sat
down between Pete and Jason. He placed his beer on the coffee table and lay
back. He spread an arm behind each of them and pulled them into a hug. He
kissed them both on the cheek. "You two guys are the best. Thank you for
your help. It would have taken us days to do all this."
"Oh, it's all in the decorator
genes, I think. Pete and I have more of them than you two machos."
Pete looked around Charley at his
lover. "You don't think I'm macho?"
"Of course you are. But you
don't ride a motorcycle."
"I've been seriously thinking of
getting one."
"Really? A Harley or an
Indian?"
"I saw a really sleek Suzuki I
like."
"Don't talk to me," Jason
said and sat back. He folded his arms.
Charley grinned at him.
"What? It's a really cool
machine," Pete said.
"Image, Pete. It's all in the
image," Jake injected.
"Yeah Pete, a Suzuki is a really
mean bike. But an Indian or a Harley are MACHO," Charley said.
"I guess I'll have to get a
leather Jacket and sunglasses to complete the image, huh?"
"That image makes me
horny," Jason declared sitting forward and ogling his lover on the other
side of Charley.
Charley laughed, "I think I'm
sitting in the wrong place."
-=J=-
After they
two young hornys left Charley took Jake's hand and
led him upstairs to their new bedroom. Jake stopped in the doorway and looked
at the bed. Charley turned and watched him. Jake looked at him and smiled.
"It's time to christen it, Babe," Charley said. "Are you
ready?" Jake nodded and started to undress.
-=J=-
Three weeks later at the commitment ceremony for Johnny and Tim, Jake sat next
to Jason and Pete about four rows back. There was no separation of guests other
than the first two rows that were reserved for immediate family. He watched Jim
escort the elderly Paolini Patriarch to the front
row, seat him, and then sat beside him. Jason nudged him and motioned toward
Jim with his chin.
"I saw him come in." Jake muttered.
At that moment there was a disturbance right behind Jake. He felt a familiar
hand on his shoulder. He turned and looked right into his lover's eyes as
Charley leaned toward the Police Chief to ask his presence upstairs. Charley
winked at Jake and smiled as he squeezed his shoulder. Jake felt a warm glow
suffuse his body.
-=J=-
He turn back to the front and saw Jim staring back at him. Jake hadn't seen Jim
since their confrontation in the psychiatrist's office. Jake nodded at him. Jim
smiled. Jake just stared back. He felt a sickening hollow ache in his abdomen
that drowned the warm glow he felt with Charley. He dropped his gaze to his
hands clinched in his lap. A smaller hand reached over and squeezed his hand.
Jake looked up at Jason who had observed the whole thing. "Jake, just
think of how you feel about Charley. Let the rest go." Jake covered his
small hand and gave it a light squeeze.
Pete patted Jason's thigh to get his
attention. "Look who just came in." Jason and Jake turned to look.
"Hey, there's Arlen. That must be
his parents he's with. The man looks just like him," Jason interrupted.
"Yeah that's Mr
Aldridge. He's the investor for Dave. He's the one that's investing Tim's and
Johnny's money, too," Pete said.
"How do you know that?"
Jake asked.
"Arlen told me."
-=J=-
Arlen had glimpsed a man sitting with
the family on the front row, next to an old man. The rest of the world just
went away as he stared at him. There was something about him that excited him.
He couldn't have told you what it was, but he knew he wanted to meet him. He
hoped that he might be gay. There was a good chance of it, he thought, being he
wasn't with a woman.
He followed his parents and was seated two rows back on the opposite end from
the guy he was looking at. He leaned over to his dad and whispered, "I
recognize all the family except for the two on the end. Who is
the old man and the younger one sitting next to him?
Carl looked and waited to see a face before answering. "That's the Paolini patriarch, Joe and Johnny's grandfather. The young
man next to him must be his companion."
"Companion? Isn't the old man too old for
that?"
Carl laughed at his son. "His nurse, Son, the person who
takes care of him."
Arlen mentally sighed with relief. "Oh."
"Good looking fellow, isn't he?" Carl asked.
Arlen blushed. "I guess so," he answered. And
blushed a little deeper at his dad's knowing smirk. He knew soon he was
going to have to tell his parents he was gay. He looked around the crowd, but
his eyes kept coming back to the same fellow. Throughout the ceremony Arlen
continued to watch him.
-=J=-
Later at the reception Papa Joe, the Paolini
patriarch, was comfortably ensconced at one end of the main table with Jim, his
nurse/companion beside him. He observed his young companion. Jim had caught
sight of Jake and his new lover and was watching them. He was unaware that a
single tear had escaped his eyes and coursed down his cheek unnoticed except by
the old man.
"Which one is he?" Papa Joe
asked.
Jim's relationship with the elderly
man had reached such a plateau of trust that Jim answered without hesitation.
"He's the big guy in the brown suit next to Mr. Gate's personal guard, the
big blonde guy."
"He's a good looking man. Why
did you let him get away?"
"You know what I did to him.
Besides, I couldn't give him what he wanted and needed."
"And what was that, young
Jim?" the old man asked.
Jim, during the months since Jake had
gotten out of the hospital, had stopped playing games with himself. He had done
a lot of soul-searching and had learned to be completely truthful with himself
and with those around him. It still wasn't easy sometimes to admit the truth to
himself. He looked down at his fisted hands and then
into the old man's watery eyes. He forced himself to say, "Love,"
The elderly man strangled and cleared
his throat noisily. He looked at Jim in consternation. "I think that's so
much bullshit. You're the most caring companion I have had."
"Yeah, I am very caring for my
patients. But I don't have it otherwise."
"You need to see a shrink,"
Papa Joe said in disgust. "There's something wrong in your head."
Jim shrugged and continued to watch
Jake. He deeply regretted what he had done to him and was thankful that Jake
hadn't carried through his threat to castrate him. He was happy that Jake had
found what he needed. 'God knows the man he found is everything one could want
or need,' he thought to himself.
Papa Joe watched Jim for a few
moments and then got up, unnoticed, wandered over to his son's side to
congratulate his grandson, leaving Jim, who was lost in his own thoughts,
sitting by himself.
-=J=-
Arlen spent a few minutes with his
buddies Pete and Jason, but they were involved in crowd watching. He was really
only interested in watching one man, so he wandered over to the side of the
yard where he could see the fellow with the Paolini
patriarch. When the old man wandered over to join the family, leaving his
companion by himself, Arlen moved to where he was in the fellow's line of
sight. When the fellow looked up, Arlen smiled at him and nodded. The fellow did
the same. Arlen walked over and asked, "May I?" as he sat down beside
him.
"Sure, no one else is sitting
here now,"
"My name is Arlen," he said
as he offered his hand.
"Jim." The fellow took his
hand. Arlen had thought he'd feel something special. He experienced nothing
more than a warm, firm handshake. "It's nice to meet you, Jim. You and I
seem to be on the fringes of "the family"." He used his fingers
to indicate quotes.
Jim tilted his head and looked at him
and then looked around. Even Jake and Charley were in the midst of the family
talking and acting like it was their rightful place. He turned back and nodded.
"Yeah, I guess you are right. Even my ex is right in there with his new
lover."
"I would never have thought you
are Gay."
Jim raised an eyebrow. "That
disturbs you?"
"On the
contrary. I was hoping you
would be," Arlen laughed.
Jim nodded and smiled.
"Which one is your ex?"
Arlen asked.
"The big good
looking guy with that tall handsome blonde. The one that looks like a cop."
"You don't mean Jake and
Charley, do you?"
"You know them, huh?"
"Yeah, I know them. They lived
with my friends Pete and Jason until a couple of weeks ago' when they moved
into their own house."
"Pete and
Jason, huh? And they never
told you about me?"
Arlen looked at him a moment. "Oh m'God. You're that
Jim."
"Yeah, the
stupid ex RN that drugged and raped his lover because he thought he'd like it,
and ended up nearly killing him." He paused and studied Arlen to see how he reacted. Arlen just sat
there looking thoughtful. Jim decided that he'd push him away rather that be
rejected. "So now you know which Jim I am, why don't your just go back to
you friends."
Arlen ignored the brush off and said,
"You know, while everyone was saying, "Oh poor Jake," I was
wondering how you were taking it. I think you were rather lucky. The backlash
wasn't as bad as it could have been. So how have you fared?"
"Why would you care? Of what
interest is it to you, college boy?"
"Hostility doesn't become you,
Jim. You were a nice guy there for a few minutes. I liked that guy."
Jim grimaced and turned away.
"You don't know that guy or what he's capable of."
"So you're not going to give me
a chance to know you."
"Why would you want to?"
Jim demanded.
" Jim, Jake himself says your kink just got a
little out of hand. Yeah, it was stupid playing with drugs. You didn't know
what Jake's physical reaction would be. You've paid for it, so give yourself a
break."
Jim turned back and studied Arlen who
smiled at him. "You're not just some smart-assed college kid, are
you?"
"Yeah, I am." Arlen
grinned.
"I like you. How old are
you?"
"I'm nineteen. My birthday is in
December."
"Why would you be interested in
me when you have all those young college studs available?"
"Well, for one thing, they're
all smart-ass college kids and don't know anymore than I do."
"I'm eight years older than
you."
"Good point. Look at my dad and
mom. That's them sitting with Dave and Joe. Dad's sixteen years older than Mom
and they have been together twenty-three years."
Jim watched the couple that Arlen had
pointed out. It was obvious that the woman adored her husband. He turned back
to Arlen. "Are you going to be as handsome as your dad when you get to his
age?"
Arlen gave him a sassy grin.
"Probably better looking I've got my mom's genes, too."
Jim looked back at her. "She is
a beautiful woman."
"Is that a round about
compliment, Jim?"
Jim's countenance became grave as
studied Arlen. "Fuck, you're probably the best looking dude at this
shindig," he said.
Arlen blushed.
"You're cute, too, when you get
embarrassed."
Arlen folded his arms,
scooted down a bit in his chair and stared straight ahead. Jim followed suit.
Their shoulders and knees were touching and neither man moved away. Thus they
sat and people watched, comfortable enough together to not have to fill the
silence between them with words. Arlen's heart was doing flips, while Jim's
beat steadily, happily. He was having a hard time believing this handsome young
man had moved in on him.
-=J=-
Pete nudged Jason and pointed with
his chin. Jason turned to look. "Oh m'god, leave
it to Arlen."
"Can you believe they're just
sitting there like an old married couple? Jim's sure not the same man that came
to take care of me a few months ago."
"I know. I just wonder if he can
let Arlen in. Jake could never get past his blockades." Jason said.
"Well, if anyone can get through
to him it would be Arlen. He only has to wag his tail and look at him with his
big puppy dog eyes."
"It's disgusting." Jason
grinned belying the words. "They look like they've been together for years
sitting there with those self satisfied smiles smeared on their faces."
-=J=-
Papa Joe walked over to the table
where Jim and Arlen still sat. "You two, go home. My son can help me get
to bed tonight."
"Are you sure, Papa?" Jim
asked.
"Would I waste words? He was the
one to suggest it."
Jim grinned, shook his head at the ol' curmudgeon, rose from the chair and offered a hand to
Arlen. "Care to join me?"
Arlen grinned. "Damned
right. Just let me say good night to Mom and Dad."
-=J=-
Jake watched Jim get up from the
table and hug Papa Joe and offer his hand to Arlen. As they disappeared into
the house he said a silent little prayer that Jim would be able to give the
young man what he hadn't been able to give him. Maybe this time Jim would find
the love that he had shied away from in the past. What Jake didn't know was
that Jim was no longer the arrogant egoist. He'd fairly well destroyed himself
and didn't have much self confidence left. He could be a vulnerable lover
again.
-=J=-
Jim couldn't believe that he was
taking Arlen home? Could he do this? Between Papa's verbal harassment trying to
bolster his ego and Arlen's apparent desire to stay close to him, he figured he
just might succeed this time. He was almost reluctant to let Arlen out of his
sight when they left the Paolini's. Fearful that he might change his mind and disappear. But he
had his Harley and Arlen had his red Mustang. Arlen must have read his mind or
felt like-minded. "Do you want to ride with me? I'll bring you back for
your bike tomorrow," he asked.
Jim didn't hesitate.
"Sure," he responded. He gave Arlen directions to his house as they
wended their way across the city. Arlen's football jacket was laying over the
seat back. "University Football Star, are you?"
"Yeah, I'm on the team."
"What position do you
play?"
"Quarterback."
"I read somewhere that this
year's team is one of the best in years."
'We're not bad."
"No, contending for one of the
championship bowls is not bad." Jim said softly, almost to himself.
"Did you play?" Arlen
asked.
"Yeah, but a knee injury my Junior year in highschool put an
end to it."
"That's a bummer."
"At the time I thought it was
the end of the world. It's no big deal now."
When Arlen parked next to the house
he was impressed with how Jim's place seemed so isolated and private from the
rest of the neighbors. He imagined Jim tied to the bed with that castrator
rubber around his scrotum, screaming his head off and no one hearing him. He
shuddered. Jim looked at him in concern. "What's going on, Arlen?" he
asked.
"Nothing." Arlen tried to sound innocent.
"Okay." Jim paused.
"Let's get one thing clear from the start. Unless you're
just wanting a one night fuck......." Jim thought a moment. He
hadn't considered that he might be just another notch on this pretty college
boy's belt. "Is that what you want?" he asked.
"No, if it works out between us,
I want a whole lot more."
It restored a good bit of Jim's self
confidence to hear that. "Well, then, rule number one. We are up front and honest with each other from the get go."
Arlen nodded.
"So will you answer my
question?"
Arlen nodded. He was hesitant as he
said, "It feels so isolated here. I know there are houses on the other
side of those trees, but it's just so private."
"Does that make you
nervous?"
"No. No, it doesn't."
"Then why did you shudder?"
Arlen shuddered again. "I-- I
had a vision of you tied up with that thing around your nuts, yelling for help
and no one hearing you."
"Hmm. That is enough to make you shudder, for
sure."
They both stared out the windshield
in silence. Jim momentarily lost in his own memories. Arlen
because he didn't have any idea of what to say next. He started feeling
uneasy. He didn't understand what the silence meant. "You asked me. I told
you."
Jim looked at him, putting his
thoughts aside, reached over and gave an affectionate squeeze to the back of
Arlen's neck and then opened his door. "Let's go inside."
Once inside the house, Arlen lost his
college jock attitude and became shy. Something about that shyness bolstered
his confidence. He removed his suit jacket and pulled off his tie. Arlen
watched with his hands stuffed into his pockets. Jim stopped and looked at him.
"Are you having second thoughts?"
"No. I'm just not sure of what to
do."
"Get comfortable then. Would you
like something to drink?"
"I fine." He started taking
his jacket off. Jim stepped up and loosened his tie for him. Arlen froze with
the jacket hanging half off his arms.
"Relax. I'm just helping
you."
Arlen let the jacket slip off his
arms and fall to the floor.
"Are you afraid of my past
reputation, Arlen?"
"Ye...No. I mean.... I don't believe you'd force me
to do something I didn't......"
"I promise you, Arlen, I'll
never do anything to intentionally hurt you. We'll never do anything sexually
that you don't want to do. I will not dominate you. I'm through with that game.
We will be equals, Arlen. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Arlen studied Jim, wondering if he
really did understand anything that Jim was saying, and then it dawned on him."You're going to let me fuck you?" The idea
of it shook him. He hadn't really thought beyond just getting Jim's arms around
him and kissing.
"Put bluntly. Yes, and I'm going
to fuck you, too. Have you ever been fucked, Arlen?"
"No."
"What experience do you
have?" Jim asked.
"I kissed Pete."
Jim chuckled. "How
about with a girl?"
"I had a few dates in high
school. I kissed them good-night, but not like I kissed with Pete." Why
was he feeling like he was fourteen years old?
"I'll bet that Jason would throw
a fit if he ever found out."
"Shit. He saw me do it," he
laughed. The sound that came out was more like a nervous bark than a laugh.
"He was one pissed off little fucker."
"I'll bet he tried to kick you
in the balls."
"Nope, he packed up and
disappeared for two days. It took a reward to find him and then a lot of
talking to convince him that I was not competition."
"SOP for him." Jim
proceeded to tell him about Jason running twice the first day Jim was on the
job taking care of Pete. His quiet baritone voice mesmerized Arlen. He didn't
notice that Jim had completely unbuttoned his shirt and was sliding it down his
arms, until Jim ducked his head and touched his tongue to his nipple. Arlen
whimpered when he realized he was bare chested and his hands were caught in the shirt sleeves. Jim
straightened up and looked him in the eyes. He felt a tenderness toward his
handsome young man he'd never felt before. He had a strong urge to just throw
him down on the floor and rape him and at the same time he was
wanting to protect the innocence he saw in his eye. He backed away from
him.
Arlen looked surprised, hurt.
"Why did you stop?" he asked.
Jim looked at him several moments
before answering. "I want to do this differently with you, Arlen. I've
fucked up every relationship I've had. I don't want to fuck up again. Let's sit
down and get to know each other a little before just jumping into bed. We need
to know if we even like each other before we blur everything with sex."
He bent down and picked up Arlen's
shirt and handed it to him. Arlen put it on, not knowing how to feel. Should he
be hurt? Was he being rejected? Maybe this was a good thing Jim was doing. He
didn't know.
Jim took his hand and led him to the
sofa. He sat down and pulled Arlen down beside him and wrapped an arm around
him, pulling him close. Jim started talking, telling him about his past
relationships even how he'd fucked up so badly with Jake. When he wound down he
asked Arlen to tell him about himself.
"There's not much to tell. I
grew up in New York City. I was very protected by my parents. I went to and
elite school. I've always loved playing Football. I've never told anyone that
I'm gay, but after tonight I'm sure my dad has figured it out. I know he'll be
very accepting, but Mom may have a bit of a problem. I really don't know."
"You know there may be some
strong repercussions. Dave and Joe know nearly all the facts about what I did
to Jake. They'll surely relay all that to your parents."
"I'm nearly twenty, Jim. I'm old
enough to know what I want."
"That's true, but your parents
are still your support base. And they will be for sometime to come."
"So do you think I'm too young
for you?"
"God, Arlen, what a question to
have to answer."
"I'll just go if you want me
to." Arlen started to pull away, but Jim held him down.
"I don't want you to go. Talk to me. Tell me why you have chosen me of all
people."
"I guess I haven't really
thought about it. I saw you walk into wedding and you were all I could look at.
At the reception I just had to meet you. I guess it was just a physical
attraction at first. But I find I like you for yourself. Just the fact that you
didn't take me right to bed says that you are kind and considerate. That I
like. I find it really turns me on to want to know you better. I still want to
go to bed with you."
"Damn, I guess I was half hoping
that the things I told you would turn you off."
"Why don't you like me?"
"What's not to like? I see this
big handsome hunk football star that's hot as all get out. And then I find you
to be innocent and a little naive. The contrast is such a turn on. You offer me
your cherry, and in doing so, you get past all my defenses."
"So you do like me."
"Yes, Arlen I like you very
much. But I want you to think about what you want beyond a toss in bed. Are you
willing fight all the flack that's going to be thrown at you? Even your
buddies, Pete and Jason are going to give you a difficult time. I would imagine
that your parents are going to insist that you not see me again."
Arlen thought about what would be
happening. He grimaced and said, "Jim, I don't care what my friend have to
say about you and I. And I believe I can convince my parents to not judge you
until they know you. Yes, I am willing to fight for you."
Jim blinked the sudden tears back and
smiled. The emotion was more than he was wanting to
deal with, so he went back to licking Arlen's nipples. When Arlen groaned he
looked up and said, "I meant what I said. If I do anything you don't like
just say stop and I will."
"God, if it feels that good,
I'll never say it." He was struggling with the buttons on the shirt cuffs.
When he got the damned things undone he let the shirt fall on top of the
jacket. His hands, of their own volution, caressed
Jim's back. His fingers ran through the short hair on his head. He grabbed him
by his arms and pulled him up to meet his lips. "Kiss me, Jim. Kiss
me."
Jim hesitated a moment. Kissing was
too intimate. Kissing was opening the gates to all the emotions that had hurt
in the past. And then he remembered how he'd fucked up with Jake. He was not
going to make this all about sex with Arlen. He wanted more. He needed more, He needed and wanted the intimacy, the love. He
removed his hands from Arlen's muscular bubble butt. One hand went to the small
of his back, forcing Arlen's pelvis against his own as he straightened up,
grinding his hard cock against Arlen's The other hand cupped the back of his
head, pulling him to his lips. His tongue darted out demanding entrance.
Arlen relaxed into the kiss and let
Jim's tongue explore and then his own tongue copied what he'd learned. The kiss
was so hot, it had Jim feeling like a horny teenager
about to blow his wad in his pants. He broke the kiss and pulled back to look
into Arlen's eyes. They were both breathing hard. What he saw there was hot
eager desire and something more. Something that made Jim feel
vulnerable. Yes, he needed, wanted, desired with all
his heart what he saw in Arlen's eyes. It scared him. He dropped his head onto
Arlen's shoulder, fighting the warring emotions inside his head. He knew that
if he was going to win this battle, he was going to have to surrender
completely. He wanted to win. "I think it's time for you to fuck me,
Arlen. Claim me," he whispered.
Arlen was a big football player, but
compared to Jim he was slender and smaller. "Yes, I want to claim you,
Jim. I want to fuck the cum right out of you. Make you
mine."
Jim was ready to surrender. Arlen's
hands were all over his torso. Jim's hands caressed Arlen's back. Down his hands
went to the muscular globes of his butt, stopping to massage and knead. And
then down further they went and grasped Arlen's legs. Jim needed to be loved,
and now he felt that despite his fears of being hurt again, he was going to
have to trust Arlen. Jim lifted Arlen. Arlen wrapped both arms around Jim's
neck, and locked his legs around his hips. "Whoa, I thought I was going
to----"
"Shut up and hang on. You are
going to in just a minute." Jim said and headed for the bedroom. Their
lips sought each other again. Jim backed up to the bed and sat down with Arlen
straddling his lap. Arlen pushed him onto his back and lay on top of him. His
tongue sought to duel with Jim's. Jim finally broke the lip lock and whispered
in Arlen's ear, "Do it, Arlen. Claim me now."
"Are you sure, Jim," Arlen
asked, moving his knees between Jim's legs.
I"m sure." Jim said, raising his legs and resting
them on Arlen's shoulders.~~~
In the predawn darkness, Arlen awoke
to more sensations he'd never before in his life experienced. This time it
wasn't sexual. The pillow he was hugging was warm and furry, and it was hugging
him back..The heartbeat
against his ear was so comforting. As his awareness expanded, he felt a leg
laying over his own. His hardon throbbed. He could
feel another one throbbing against his belly. It was then that his memory
kicked in and he remembered last night. Jim. He contracted his rectum and felt
a slight ache. 'I'm not a virgin anymore, in any way,' he thought. He recalled
how well fucked he had been. He was still amazed that it hadn't really hurt. He
moved his hips, rubbing against the hard phallus, feeling the hugeness that had
been inside of him, and sighed contentedly and remembered how hot and moist it
was to be inside Jim. His cock jumped at the memory. He moved his head slightly
and felt a nipple against his lips and nibbled at it.
"Keep that up and you're going
to get fucked again." Jim mumbled.
Arlen froze for a moment as he
considered the consequences, and then stuck his tongue out and raked it over
the tender nub. Jim bucked against him. "I'd like that, or we could flip
to see who gets it first." Arlen murmured, and took the nipple into his
mouth and worked it over. Jim groaned and pushed his chest up. "Turn
over," he commanded. Arlen twisted around forgetting
about the coin and ground his smooth butt against Jim's hairy crotch, feeling
the hugeness that was about to invade him again. Jim's voice was a bit froggy as he muttered, "Eager
fucker aren't you?"
"I'm not giving my butt to you
to fuck, Jim. I want you to make love to me again like you did last
night."
Jim stopped, his cock lay against
Arlen's butt crack. "We were making love last night, huh?" Arlen
couldn't see the smile on Jim's face.
He twisted in Jim's loose arms.
"Were you just playing with me last night? Were you only fucking me? I
gave up my cherry to just a fuck?" He started pushing away from Jim to get
out of the bed. Jim tightened his hold on him. Arlen struggled to get his arms
loose. "Let go of me, you ass hole."
"Would you stop struggling and
listen to me?"
"I'm not sure I want to hear
what you have to say," Arlen said, continuing his attempt to get free of
Jim's embrace. "And if you don't let go of me I'm going to pee on both of
us."
Jim let go of him. "Why didn't
you say you had to piss. Hell, I do, too."
But before Jim could get off the bed
Arlen had grabbed up his clothes, gone into the bathroom and locked the door.
Jim walked over to the locked door and laid his head against it. "I'm
sorry, Arlen. I've just got a sick sense of humor."
There was no response from the other
side of the door.
"Arlen, please."
The door was suddenly opened and Jim
nearly fell into the bathroom. Arlen's natural response was to grab him before
he fell and discovered himself again wrapped in Jim's strong arms.
"Let go of me. Damn, you're like
a fucking octopus."
"I'll let go if you'll promise
to sit down and listen to me."
"Alright. Alright, I promise."
"Will you let me take a leak
first? Promise you won't run away?"
"Go piss, Jim. I won't go
anywhere."
-=J=-
Jim took time to brush his teeth
before he went back into the bedroom. Arlen wasn't there. His shoulders sagged
as he dropped onto the bed. He sat there a few minutes, occasionally sighing.
'God, I'm such a fuckup. Why'd I have to open my mouth.
Things were going so good. Arlen is so beautiful, so sweet. Yes, I was loving him last night, so why did I make light of it
this morning? I'm such a stupid shithead.'
He reached for his jeans and lifted a
foot to stick into them when he heard a noise behind him and turned. There
stood Arlen with two mugs of steaming coffee. He was naked again. Jim's eyes
watered as he stood up. He dropped his jeans back onto the chair and grinned at
Arlen. Arlen handed him a mug. Jim took it, staring into his face. "I
don't understand you," he said.
"Jim, actions speak louder than
words. Words can lie. A body can't. You are afraid of letting me get close to
you. Yet that's what you want most. I reacted badly when you froze, forgive
me."
"I guess we're both insecure in
our own ways."
Arlen set his mug on the bedside
cabinet and then took Jim's and set it next to his. He then stepped up to Jim
and put his arms around his neck. "We were about to do something wonderful
a few minutes ago. Do you want to continue?"
"Fuck yeah." Jim picked up
Arlen.
"Damn, you are so strong."
Arlen gasped, as Jim gently laid him on the bed.
Jim just smiled as he crawled into
position between his legs. "Now let me give your beautiful butt some of
the loving it's craving," he said.
The end.