When I got to work, everyone was cool; turned out everyone
from my boss to
the ladies in accounting planned on watching Marika and me
the next day. I
wondered if they could see my panic or the puppies in my
stomach.
That night Phil brought dinner over and Marika arrived with
a wildly tall
black skinned man with a huge grin...
"Alex,
Phillip, this is Robert. Robert, Alex and Phil."
I shook Robert's hand, which made mine seem like a small
white charm. But
he was so friendly and outgoing even his 6'8 presence wasn't
intimidating.
Well, ok, it was, but only because of his size.
As we talked and got to know each other a little better, I
learned that
Robert had played piano and organ since he was 8 and he was
in college to
get a degree in Church Music. I also learned that his favorite groups were
CSNY, Simon and Garfunkle, and Mamas and the Papas. Apparently my eye brows
arched so far Marika said I looked like "that alien
dude from Star Trek."
"We
lived in
with all that music." It appeared that Robert was older
then he looked.
Phil and Robert went down to bring Robert's keyboard and
equipment up while
Marika and I set up what we had already.
Robert set up an entire sound system in a few minutes. With
his machines we
could get drums and any type of special effect we
wanted. Most important
though, when he began imitating a piano, it sounded like a
baby grand. And
BOY, could this guy play!
With Robert's help and musical talent, we not only got
preacher man and
Bridge Over Troubled Water done, We quickly worked through a
few other songs
like a gospel version of Magic Man and a nice piano
accompaniment to Behind
Blue Eyes by the Who, Joan Baez's Diamonds and Rust. By 10 we were all
buzzed with excitement and exhausted from such feverish
work. We'd get a
little practice in before we went on tomorrow, but we were
all massively
excited about our folk, gospel, hip-hop, fusion.
After they left, I quickly threw stuff together and took
everything I'd need
for the next day as well.
Before
Stress? Who me? Why, just because I had to tell my current
boyfriend that I
needed to talk with my ex-boyfriend? Maybe it was because I was performing
with friends in front of a large crowd, or because I still
hadn't spoken to
Ryan yet? Whatever it
was, I about got a ticket on the way down to see him.
I decided to call Ryan. And got his answering machine and
told him I was
performing if he wanted to see, and would be around Sunday
if he wanted to
talk.
Jason had left a message to pick up a bottle of wine at his
favorite spirit
shop near his house.
Which I did, it was a chilled bottle of Riesling, as
soon as I walked in, the cute young guy behind the counter
fetched the
bottle and said "This
is Jason's favorite." I was a little taken back as to
how he knew this, or me, but figured Jason knew everyone
worth knowing.
When I walked into his apartment, I was dumbfounded, the
place was covered
in peach colored candles all lit and making the place
glow. It had a sweet
fruity aroma too. No sign of Jason, but music was coming
from the hallway.
So I sat my bags down and uncorked the Riesling, as I
mischievously
suspected this was a set up.
The candles had been lit recently, so the
store clerk must have alerted Jason. The music was coming from the master
bathroom, so I had to walk through a shou-lin temple to
enter a bathroom
with so many candles it was actually hot. I quickly noticed
the tub ringed
with candles and this gorgeous, bronzed, sexy, magnificent
man relaxing in a
warm bubble bath. He
looked up from his beard of bubbles and cocked an
eyebrow at me with all the sex appeal of a Greek hero.
No words were spoken. I handed him the wine; which he
proceeded to pour into
two glasses as I kicked off my shoes and removed my
shirt. I dropped
everything on the floor, as any other place would have
ignited it. He
relaxed with a playful grin as he watched me slide out of my
shorts.
When I was naked, I stepped between Jason's legs and sat
down in his lap
facing away from him.
He handed me my wine and kissed my cheek as I relaxed
onto my living recliner.
Two big arms wrapped me up like twin hunting
pythons. It was so
relaxing just lying here, silent and bathed in warm
water, warm skin and flickering golden light. Kate Bush didn't hurt either.
When my wine was done I sat my glass down and rolled over to
face Jason so I
was chest to chest and my feet dangled over my ass as I
squirmed up his
submerged body.
"I
can't believe you did all this Jas!"
I said nuzzling his neck.
Jason ran a wet hand over my back and pulled me in for a
kiss.
"It's
all about relaxing Alex, I'm teaching you to relax."
With that he ran his warm hand over my ass and let his other
hand join it
and watched my eyes with a smile.
We finished the bottle and made out till the water started
to get cold.
Suddenly as I straddled Jason kissing him and letting him
finger fuck my
ass, he cupped my ass tightly and stood up carrying me with
him. It was
quite a feat in a tub of water.
Jason carried me out and grabbed two large towels and had me
hold on to his
neck as he tossed the towels on the bed. I was laid down and rolled on my
belly while he put on some new age singer who reminded me of
Enya. Suddenly
I felt him straddle my ass on his knees and instinctively
arched my ass for
his convenience.
He chuckled and gently pushed my ass back down, which
confused me till I
heard him say,
"Relax".
A moment later I felt warm oil on my back and a large set of
hands began
rubbing it in. God, to
be so close to heaven and not see angels...
I wished for a long night of passionate lovemaking, but the
truth is he
relaxed me too much.
I woke up the next morning wrapped up in a set of
large arms wishing to hell I'd brushed my teeth last
night. But I just
snuggled back against Jason and relaxed as I waited for him
to wake up.
Eventually I heard a soft moan and felt his arms pull me
tightly against
him.
"Morning baby," I said hugging his large bicep
.
"Have a
nice sleep sugar pop?"
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, you are amazing, Jason. I'm hoping heaven has
guys like you with wings running around making everyone feel
this good..." I
said with a grin...
"Naked guys" I added cheerily.
"You have
a one track mind Mr. Johnson," Jason said as he kissed my
neck.
"Which
reminds me Jas, you DID molest me after I passed out didn't
you?"
I asked with a smirk.
"MMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm, several times.
Now why don't we get ready? I
have a long day planned for us,"
Jason said nuzzling my neck.
Slowly I got up and dragged Jason with me to the
shower. First we brushed
our teeth and kissed a bit before we climbed in the tub. We
soaped each
other up and I hugged the wall while Jason did some deep
cleaning. He deep
cleaned me twice before we were done, which was fine because
I shot both
times. Ah to be
twenty-seven again.
Afterwards we had our coffee and cereal and then got ready
for a nice
relaxing day doing whatever thing Jason had planned and
given me no clues
about.
So I poked and prodded and laid my head on his chest and
whimpered until he
finally told me something.
"OK!
Ok, well, I'd love to introduce you to a few of my friends from work,
just for an hour or two... Oh, but you have to wear this
under your shorts."
Jason said as he tossed a small package my way. I got all
happy and grinned
up at him as my fingers quickly tore the paper away. It was
a bright neon
blue set of Speedos.
"Ummmmm,
baby, YOU'RE the fashion model, not me. But thanks..."
I said smiling and not wanting to seem ungrateful.
"We're going backstage at Sea World Alex, your chances
of getting wet are
exponentially high. Besides, I was boasting about my
boyfriend's ass to a
few of the girls... Oh, and Alex... Please sugar?" he
pleaded sweetly.
I was trying to protest but he was grinning and any protest
I had was
fighting upstream.
And when he came over and started to nuzzle against the
back of my neck and undress me from behind, I just moaned and gave myself
over to him
"And
you don't have to go to the park in just them, wear them under your
shorts,"
Jason added in what became a deal Maker.
We went in the back to Sea World and I was taken through
areas that weren't
meant to be seen by tourists. Eventually we came to a sign that said
"Dolphin stadium" And followed it till we arrived
in a locker room and I saw
three other people.
"Hey
Matt, Genia, Cara. This is my boy friend Alex."
They all smiled and came up and shook my hand and Jason
found out who was
managing. Then Jason took me to his locker and began
changing into a wet
suit as I shucked my shorts self-consciously.
"Why
are you wearing a wet suit to show me around?" I asked, oblivious to
his plans.
I
"I
told you, I wanted to introduce you to my friends, C'mon," Jason
encouraged as he grabbed 2 pairs of fins.
I followed not understanding what we were about to do.
At the pool, Jason hopped in the water like an otter and
came up near me.
"You a
good swimmer?" he asked.
"I can
keep my head above water," I answered modestly.
"Toss
me a pair of fins and get your pair on, then I'll introduce you to
Bebe."
Already I could see a dolphin at a small gate leading to the
pool I was
going to enter.
"Ok, sit on the side with your the feet in the water,
I'll introduce you
before I let you swim together."
I did so and realized I had a grin from ear to ear... What a
fantastic gift
to give someone! How
amazing was this? My heart was rippling
from
excitement.
Jason came out of the water and went to the gate area then
came back with a
bucket of fish.
He sat it behind me and warned me to keep it there, and then
he dove in,
came up, and whistled.
The gate lifted and a moment later a gray streak
torpedoed towards us.
"Alex.
This is Bebe, Bebe, can you say hi to my friend Alex?"
Bebe, made a laughing noise then tossed his head back and
used his tail to
lift himself out of the water and wave his right fin.
I suppose it could have been frightening, a creature so big
towering over
you, But Bebe just made me want to smile... Jas gave him a
fish and then
brought him up to me and he rubbed against me as he swam
around me and got a
fish from Jas.
After having him swim around the pool by his fin, Jas
brought Bebe's
daughter, Celeste in. Celeste was nearly full-grown but very
playful.
The four of us played in the pool, diving, rubbing against
each other,
talking with each other in words the other likely didn't
get, though the
mood and ideas apparently got across to each group. As Jas
held onto Bebe,
and I to Celeste, and we raced around the pool stopping for mackerel
snacks
and to laugh.
"I
wanna work here!" I exclaimed.
.
"I've
been waiting to find a guy I felt I could bring here that would
understand why I love these guys so much."
Jason said with a hand on my shoulder while we swam. Then he stopped and
caressed Bebe saying,
"They don't judge, they don't care about your past...
All they do is play
and take care of their own.
So much we could learn from them..."
I wasn't sure what brought this contemplation on, but it
lasted only a
minute before he turned to face me with a smile.
"But then, you don't seem to either Alex. Maybe that's why I trusted you so
much that first night," he said touching my face.
As I moved to kiss Jason, Celeste squirmed in between us and
trittered and
chirped. The three of us began laughing.
"A
dolphin cock block! Duuuuuude!"
I said in my best surfer speak.
"Just
be glad I didn't let Alvin in here, he'd have tried joining in and he
gets rough when he plays."
I looked at Jason quizzically a moment.
"Alex, dolphins and chimps are the only animals besides
us that have sex for
enjoyment. Dolphins are HUGELY sexual and it sounds kinda
funny, but
dolphins have actually been known to rape people. We don't let menstruating
women in the pools with male dolphins. And I've never seen one, but I'm
told some dolphin's are actually gay,"
Jason said in a voice I can only say must have been his
stage/teacher voice.
"Well
damn it, I want to swim with those dolphins!"
I said as Bebe broke the water next to me and twittered his
opinion.
"Alex.
Have you ever seen a dolphin penis?"
Jason asked with a funny look on his face.
"Well
No Jason, you wouldn't believe how bitchy gay dolphin's can be in
bars," I said as I petted Bebe.
"Man,
I want to see your face when you see a dolphin erection for the first
time,"
Jason smirked as Bebe made another whistly, clicky, sound
next to me and
nodded his head quickly.
"Apparently
Bebe does too,"
I said as I reached over and got a fish from Jason for him.
We swam all afternoon riding, petting, and relaxing with
Jason's friends. I
think every city should be built with huge dolphin parks;
the national
stress levels would plummet.
Finally Jason said we needed to go and get ready for that
night. I gave
Celeste and Bebe the rest of my fish (I had one of those
cute belt pouches
too) and hugged them as best I could and got out feeling
high and alive.
We went back to Jas's house and I got showered, screwed, and
shaved. Got on
my 501s, a red A&F rugby shirt, a backwards cap, and my
favorite Sketchers.
And we headed out by 4:30.
When we got there Robert and Phil were already there setting
up lights and a
bunch of equipment I hadn't seen before, Henna saw me and
came over to give
me a kiss.
"Well
finally sweetheart, beginning to think you went awol on us. Pretty
fancy stuff huh? She asked.
I asked where it had come from and Robert
called out that he had brought it since there was nothing
set up already.
After about 20 minutes, Marika arrived and we finished the set
up and
decided to practice.
Marika brought one of the flyers in with a mock scowl
and handed it to me with a dismissive "whatever"
flip.
"Alex
Johnson, the MAGIC finger of Alex Johnson.... And FRIENDS!" she said
turning to face me.
"But
they already know who "I" am baby," I replied in playful
appeasement.
She did that sideways bob of the head black girls do in the
south,
"Well honey, after tonight it's gunna read,
"Marika Williams, her friends,
and Alex somebody or another.""
Playing along I dropped into my sista vernacular,
"Oh, no, no, no, no. NO. I don't THINK so Mrs. Wearin her bedroom
slippers
and night shirt to a performance with them nappy ash
legs!"
She lost it at that and we both started laughing.
"Child, I got all my performing clothing in my car, I
thought we was gunna
practice first," she said still laughing. Then she stopped smiling and
looked me slowly up and down.
"Now tell me you brought something besides your college
clothing to wear
tonight" she asked seriously.
I hadn't thought about dressing up so much since it was a
coffee house and I
played folksy stuff mostly.
I looked at Jason with a slightly panicky look
that brought him right over.
"What's
up baby doll?" he asked Marika as he touched me.
"What's
wrong is Donnie Docker here is performing tonight, not going to a
keg party."
Marika said with folded arms and a slight bob of her down
turned head.
Jas looked from me to Marika and back again.
"Ok, show me what you're wearing honey and I'll get
something for the boys.
Go ahead and start on time if I'm not back Alex."
So Jason followed Marika to her car and I panicked for a
second then got an
iced Latte and chilled while Robert finished setting up.
Phil came over and we chatted awhile when Marika came in and
looked at us
with that "Lord strike all these losers down" look
then grabbed a mike and
did a scale climbing exercise. She had a wonderful alto and
my tenor worked
well with it.
Each of us spent a few minutes tuning and getting into our
zones.
Suddenly Phil broke out laughing and said,
"I got a name for us."
"If
it's Phil Zimech and friends, forget it, we need something more
inclusive,"
I said with a grin to Marika.
"The
Tellers?"
Phil asked.
Robert, Marika, and I all made faces at it at first, then I
began to think
about the fact that Marika and I were tellers, and then
Robert said,
"Ya know, that would be a perfect Gospel name..."
We all grinned and decided to go for it. We had a name.
So we rehearsed and Marika and I did an a cappella version
of a song from
West Side Story called "Somewhere." She had preformed it at a wedding, and
I had sung it in a school version of West Side Story.
At 8:00 the place was half full and I had already greeted
Ryan and Brandon.
Then Ryan used his hand to guide a tall guy with light brown
hair and blue
eyes and this suave face up to me.
"Alex,
this is Michael Waters, Michael, this is the little tornado I call
Alex."
I Shook Michael's big hand and gave him a warm smile that he
shot back.
'very nice Ryan' I thought to myself. Ryan was right, if I hadn't met
Michael and known who he was, I'd never have guessed he was
gay. Well, I
wouldn't have guessed Ryan was gay either. WHY the hell did everyone know
that "I" was gay without asking!?!
"Michael,
I'm so honored to meet you!" I said with a warm smile but wishing
Jason was holding me.
"I't's
really nice to meet you too Alex, Ryan's told me a lot about you."
His bass voice rumbled out.
Wow, I never thought a voice could give me a
hard on!
We talked for a few minutes and then I excused myself to
mingle before the
show.
A lot of the Phil
crowd:, Cynthia, Glen, Jen, Steven, and Dan were there
early too. Mr. Riley
came in and talked with us a bit before taking a table
with Marika's mother.
A while later Mrs. Tremere entered and I sat her next
to Mr. Riley after I introduced them. I was upset that I was
dressed like a
frat boy and about to perform, and also that my boyfriend
wasn't there yet.
God he was sweet.
At
like the diva that she was; a queen. She wore a sheer black dress adorned
with black and blue sequins, held tenuously to her body with
a single thin
sequined strap. She
had Ruby heels Dorothy would have coveted, her hair was
done up on top of her head, and her make up made her look
more like a
glamour shot than a girl I worked with at a bank. As I was saving her and
Robert for a surprise set at the end, I basically waited for
began with Phil beside me on 'Let it be' by the
Beatles. She stood out like
a beacon in that crowd but didn't seem the least bit
self-conscious.
We wove in and out of Neil Young, Carly Simon, The Dyvinals,
We even did
Jose Feliciano's
version of Light My Fire with Phil on Spanish guitar.
Then we got our first break and I got another iced Latte and
mixed a little
with the crowd for a while, and met a couple from my last
performance that
wanted to hire me/us for their wedding, I smiled and told
them to keep
watching the show cause I had a few surprises. When I
checked to see that
Mrs. Tremere was ok and see if she wanted anything, I found
Mr. Riley and
her were sitting together laughing. 'Cool' I thought, relieved neither was
sitting alone. A few
People had noticed the lights and the keyboard set up
but said nothing.
Marika and Robert, or should I say, the Queen and her
6'8" guard, were getting lots of attention from the
mostly white, gay or
granola crowd.
Phil and I did one more set and Jas came in beaming and
sweating in the
middle of it carrying bags.
When we finished he came up and gave me a peck
on the cheek and said
"Here, go change quickly while I get your latte. All three of you, Go!."
Jason ordered Phil, Robert and me.
I looked in the bag and he had Dark jeans, a white long
sleeve shirt made of
nice silk material, and three pairs of matching black
vests. We went and
changed and I smiled cause Jason knew my size and every
dimension of me, god
I was glad I was dating a gay man sometimes. When I walked out I got a few
wolf whistles; mostly from Dan and Phil. I walked on stage
with Robert and
Phil. I took the microphone and said,
"Good
evening ladies and gentlemen, You've been listening to me and my good
friend Phil play so far tonight, and I hope you enjoyed the
performance, but
now I have something special for y'all. This evening I have
had two
fantastic musicians in the audience, and I'd like to
introduce them. Please
help me in welcoming Marika Williams and Robert Henders to
the stage.
Together we are the 'Tellers.' A mix of Gospel, folk, R&B and music that
makes us feel good."
When Marika took the stage every eye was glued on her and
when she turned
slightly to give me a smile, I knew she knew this.
"As I
have held the stage so far this evening, I think it's time to pass
the mike to someone who owns it, and I mean that in every
possible way" So I
smiled and handed the mike to Marika and grabbed my guitar.
After a minute of tuning our instruments, I nodded at Henna
and the lights
went low except a spot light on Marika. Robert set a
programmed drum beating
and played a few soft notes. In a low cool Alto that crept
out and engulfed
the audience like a fog of sound and mist, Marika took the
mike and began
crooning.
Billy Ray was a preacher's son
And when his daddy would visit he'd come along
When they gathered around and started talkin'
That's when Billy would take me walkin'
Out through the back yard we'd go walkin'
Then he'd looked into my eyes
Lord knows, to my surprise
The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, ooh, yes he was
Bein' good isn't always easy
No matter how hard I try
When he started sweet-talkin' to me
He'd come'n tell me "Everything is all right"
He'd kiss and tell me "Everything is all right"
Can I get away again tonight?
The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, ooh, yes he was (yes he was)
How well I remember
The look that was in his eyes
Stealin' kisses from me on the sly
Takin' time to make time
Tellin' me that he's all mine
Learnin' from each other's knowin'
Lookin' to see how much we've grown and
The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, oh yes he was
(The only one who could ever reach me)
He was the sweet-talkin' son of a preacher man
(The only boy who could ever teach me)
Was the son of a preacher man
(The only one who could ever reach me)
Was the sweet-talkin' son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, ooooooohhhh yes he was.
(Dusty Springfeild)
The audience was so wrapped up in her spell it took them
several seconds to
realize she was done singing. Only after a few souls began
clapping did the
place erupt in a maelstrom of applause. She had won every person with that
performance. And the
power and electricity that we were getting off the
audience was intoxicating.
Next the light spread out to take in both of us and we
waited for people to
quiet down before Robert did a long gospel piano intro to
"Bridge Over
Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkle as reinterpreted
by Aretha Franklin.
But we did a true fusion, she took Aretha's part and I took
Garfunkle's and
we wove and danced in and out of melody and harmony.
We had them; this is what rock stars mean when they claim to
'own' an
audience. Marika glowed as she moved on our small
stage. We next broke into
a version of The Who's Behind Blue Eyes, then a gospelized
version of Magic
Man by Heart, and then Diamond's and Rust by Joan Baez. To
end we did a duet
that really spoke from our multi cultural group,
There's a place for us
Somewhere a place for us
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us
Somewhere
There's a time for us
Some day a time for us
Time together
With time to spare
Time to look
Time to care
Someday,
Somewhere
We'll find a new way of living, We'll find a way of
forgiving
Somewhere
There's a place for us
A time and place for us
Hold my hand
And we're halfway there
Hold my hand
And I'll take you there
Somehow
Someday
Somewhere
Marika and I brought the house down with this song from
"West side Story."
Jason was almost crying as he came up to kiss me even before
Robert had
ended the music.
After kissing him briefly, he stepped aside so we could
bow.
We ran out of coasters to write our contact info on, and had
agreed to
perform at 3 weddings, a Bar mitzvah, and a country
club. I saw Marika
holding two cups with money in it and both Robert and I had
one each. In
all we'd made $311.85 in just tips.
As I left the stage I saw my Michael sitting alone at the
coffee bar, his
eyes were red like he'd been crying. I walked over with Jason in toe to see
if he was all right.
"I
hate you Alex, remind me never to come to one of your dumb concerts
again!"
Michael said with a smile. He'd gotten too emotional at the
music and was
embarrassed.
"I don't know why they wanted you in the group anyways,
Marika was the
star." Jason and I hugged the big guy and I said,
"Behave and I'll get you a lollipop."
He stuck his bottom lip out then wiped his eyes. I hugged him then moved on
to circulate.
"Ya
know, he has a lot of love for you Alex." Jason said as he lead me
through the crowed.
"I
know, For such a prickly grouch he's really a big sweetheart, most
people get scared off and never see it though." I said
hugging Jason.
As I walked around with my arm around Jason I heard Robert
and Henna talking
about sound systems, I saw Mrs. Tremere and Mr. Riley
laughing together over
cappuccinos, and I finally got a chance to meet Michael
Waters, Ryan's
'secret' athlete boyfriend.
We didn't get a chance to talk long, mostly
because of the animosity between Ryan and Jason, but we
agreed to go out to
dinner later that week. Walking around after a performance
like that felt
like incredible and I leaned over and said to Jason,
"I feel like I have a superconductor strapped to my ass
feeding me raw
power! How do you do this everyday? I feel like I should
have a hangover."
Jason smiled and moved in close.
"That's not a superconductor," he reached down and
squeezed my ass. "That's
just my hand, baby!"
I laughed and hugged him before dancing around the room to
talk to everyone
again. When I was
done I waltzed over to sit on Jason's lap on a couch.
A lot of our friends helped Robert pack his car and he and
Michael got in a
long conversation about guys assuming they played basketball
just cause they
were tall. When I got closer Michael introduced me as the
elf he hired to
walk under his bed to clear out the dust.
With a snarl I said,
"Don't forget my other duty Sir."
Michael arched an eyebrow inquisitively as Robert laughed.
"I'm the one guy here that can take your ass down and
make you beg for
mercy," I sneered.
As soon as I got up to walk away assuming that the
discussion was over,
Michael bolted up, got a hand under each of my armpits and
began to tickle
me from behind. If I
have an Achilles heel, this is it and Michael knew
every way to exploit it.
I was mercilessly tickled to the ground while
everyone stood around and laughed and I thrashed and tried
to get away. A
5'4" guy who's screaming and flailing, has virtually no
chance of getting
away from a 6'6" guy with long arms and reasonable
strength... Ryan finally
stopped him before I peed my pants.
"So
why didn't you try to help me?" I
scolded Jason on our way to his car
later.
"Dude,
I was taking pointers." He teased back which made me shudder
involuntarily.
I groaned. No matter who I dated, who my friend's were, gay,
straight, male
or female... I was tickled eventually... And Michael loved
to show them new
and cleaver ways he'd devised to do it.
"At
your own risk Jas, I won't be responsible for taking your head off ," I
warned. My smile though was threatening the severity of my
lips.
Jason just grinned ear to ear with those amazing dimples.
It was past two am when we got in and I grinned at him as I
began undressing
at his front door and finished in his living room. Jason grinned back and
walked up and held me tightly against him as he reached
around me. Suddenly
there was a Righteous brothers album playing. So we danced as he pressed my
naked body to his and I wrapped him up in my arms swaying
with him.
"You
were amazing tonight Alex. I'm just blown away by you and Marika and
the rest. I felt like you were singing some of those songs
to me... I mean
me personally,"
Jason said wistfully, his chin resting on my head.
"I
'was' singing them to you Jason," I said into his chest.
"Yeah......"
Jason's voice sounded lost and far away just then, whistful
like a bearded
man on an island with a palm tree.
He released me and walked to his kitchen. I was so confused, I had no clue
where this came from so I followed and hugged him from
behind as he had a
beer.
"What's
with this mood baby?" I asked cheerily. Hoping my energy would
infect him. It didn't
though; he hardly talked, as he got ready for bed. I
finished and got to his bed as he was staring straight up at
the ceiling. I
was quiet for a while, curled up to his body before I
finally asked,
"Jason, what's going on, I don't know if I should be
scared, or worried or
patient? I'm so freaking confused."
Jason took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"Wish
I hadn't given up smoking right now," he said clearly.
"Are
you breaking up with me Jason? Are you trying to tell me something?"
I asked, terrified of the answer.
"No,
no I'm not planning it... but in all likely hood you will or will
soon," he said mysteriously.
More
confused, I sat up and looked down at him.
"Why would you say that? Is this because those others
are trying to make me
go back to Austin?" I asked.
"No,
It's because we've been going out over a month and you haven't asked
me yet about being a hustler... You will soon and then
you'll find a reason
to stop seeing me." He said prophetically. I fell on
him hugging him and
telling him how much I cared. He lifted his head then wrapped an arm around
me and pulled my head to his chest.
"I
know you do Alex, I really believe you do. And this time I actually care
back... That's what's hurting so much this time."
"Jason,
you're freaking me out... We had such a great day today, god Jason;
this has been the best day I may have ever had. And most of it, all of it
really, is because of you... All of it." I repeated as
I tightened my grip
on his chest.
Again we were quiet for a long time before he started to
talk in a low
voice, almost devoid of emotion.
"I
don't know why Alex, but you never asked about my past, you never tried
to moralize why I became a hustler..." Jason said
simply.
"Cause
you are who you are, the guy I love is here now, and that's his
past, not his present." I said as Jason stifled a
sob... I was panicking and
scared, I had no clue what to do.
"Remember
when I told you about good looks being a curse?" he asked. I
vaguely recalled it even though I didn't understand it.
"Yeah,
still not sure I understand your point," I said honestly.
"My
dad... he was a very successful business man, top of his game in sales
and getting accounts for the home electronics place he
worked. It was a big
company with offices all over the country, and several in
Japan." Jason said
like a voice over to a horror film.
"All
our lives my older brother Scott, my middle sister Eve, and my mom
were drilled over and over with "Do it for the
job." We were expected to
clean our rooms, clean the yard, all of it so if customers
or other
employees came by, there would be a perfect appearance. We were all
expected to keep ourselves in perfect condition. "
Jason said sans emotion.
"We
used to hear over and over how Scott got my dad's looks and would be a
quarterback, and I got my mom's looks and would be the most
popular kid in
school. My sister had
my mom's looks too." Jason said pensively,
"When
I was 10, I remember my mom and dad getting into a terrible fight, my
mother was screaming and throwing dishes. My dad just kept
saying he had no
choice, it was for the job and could mean a promotion. Scott and I looked
at each other confused.
There was a dinner party later that night and Mom
said she was sick and locked herself in her room so the
three of us got
dinner ready and served it. I-I Don't recall seeing my
sister later that
night, but when I saw her the next day she was
different. She didn't laugh
or smile for months.
A few months later almost the same thing happened,
only it was Scott now, he was 16 and a high school quarterback. When I saw
him the next day it looked as if he'd... lost his family,
all his friends.
He refused to talk about it.
He-he-he got into drugs soon after and moved
out... I've never seen him again... Mom, she was impossible
to talk to, like
a sad robot... My sister began spending night's away, and
getting nice
clothing and stuff I know we hadn't bought in the
family. And then I was
14,"
Jason said almost unconsciously holding my hand.
I knew
where this was going, My eyes were already tearing up. I kept
mumbling over and over, "No...
oh god no!"
"So...
we had a dinner and dad introduced me to this young administrator
from the main office named Mr. Riggio, a medium sized, dark
haired, bookish
type with sharp clothing, this sweet musky smell, and a fake
smile that made
me cringe. I was
reminded several times by the both of them to keep my
dad's job in mind.
Then he sent me home with Mr. Riggio."
I was
weeping all over Jason's chest hugging him tightly as if my small
arms could squeeze the past out of him. He put a hand over
mine before he
continued.
"As we
got to his house I began crying and screaming. Nothing...nothing
stopped him. He
wouldn't stop till he was done. And then
it became regular
and I understood what had happened to my brother and
sister. Eve moved out
soon after and got pregnant with some old co-worker of dads.
Last I heard
Mom was in a home."
I was
quietly sobbing, trying to hold Jason tighter, hoping my revulsion at
his father could shield him from the pain that filled the
room.
"Two
of dad's "clients" that asked to see me after dinners, were high up
in
the administration, and from them I began to get presents,
money.. One even
said he wanted me to live with him so he could take care of
me and keep me
safe from the other guys. He said my dad was evil for doing
this... I never
asked him what that made him. So I started to have all this money,
expensive clothing, great drugs... And one day I met a
college student at a
Starbucks and we hit it off, and I figured that since old
men were screwing
me no one would care if this young hot guy did... Except dad
walked in and
blew a gasket, he threw the guy out and kept saying he
wouldn't have a fag
in his house. So I
packed, stayed at a friend's house till I was 18, then
got my own place... as I had all my stuff I could get in
touch with those
older guys and they kept me busy and well equipped. I told them all about
my dad and had him fired with no severance. "
Jason
sounded hollow now... Pain punctuating his words occasionally, his
chest was soaked in my tears and he absentmindedly stroked
my hair.
"So...
that's basically it, two of the guys hooked me up with other rich
guys... And I've tried a few times to date, but... not many
people want
damaged merchandise."
"Ohhh
god Jason, I don't have any idea what to say... I want you to feel
safe and loved, I want to grind your fathers ball with a
weed whippier,
I-I-I-" I fell on his chest sobbing. My brain couldn't make sense of how a
parent, how any person could do that to a kid.
"And
you aren't damaged Jason... God, your so fucking amazing... Your dad
was put together wrong, not you." I said.
As I was wracked with pain and horror at what my beautiful,
wonderful, guy
had endured, I felt his arms around me and felt him
whispering over and over
that it was alright now, but it wasn't. How could that ever
be alright? I
did calm down finally and lay on his shoulder as he stared
at the ceiling.
"They're
right you know," Jason finally said.
"Who
are?" I asked, drained.
"The
ones who said you needed to talk things over with Austin." I turned
and looked at him... I wasn't sure he knew what he was
saying.
"Yeah,
I know it might mean you don't come back... But-but how can we have
a chance if you don't clear all that up? Jason said matter-of- factly,
staring at the ceiling
"I had
to get all my demons out so we would have a chance." He said softly
before he added.
"Now you have to face yours sugar pop."
I didn't
want to see Austin that night, I didn't want to sleep, I wanted to
take Jason's pain away. How could such a twisted childhood
have produced
such a great guy? How
could anyone live with this kind of pain?
What sleep
I got that night was short and troubled.
I didn't want to
abandon him but Jason had made it clear, I wouldn't get to
see him again
before I saw Austin.
Every time I had a great time with a guy, some kind of
fucked up problem followed.
"This Sucks!" I said looking in the mirror the next
morning. And that summed
it all up.