doing for Halloween out of me. This
entailed more tickling then I've ever
had and some very exciting and
energetic sex. But let's face it; he was so
cute in his abject determination to
get the info, how could I possibly
break? Hell, I was wondering about the possibility
of blindfolding him
after getting his costume on so he
couldn't see who I was going as. Well, it
was just a thought. So far his best
guesses were me being Pop-n-fresh, a
Keebler elf or Winnie the Pooh.
On a Tuesday early in October, I loaded
took off to the Parliament House in
and a half-nude, exceptionally cute
bartender, was a 6-foot-2
African-American Drag queen dressed in white sequins and a
pearl-beaded
dress.
"Well, if it isn't Natasha McVie
and her entire fan club!" I called out,
loudly announcing my presence. The
boys looked confused, and the young one
started to get up and tell me the
show wasn't for hours yet. But Natasha
recognized my voice and had been
expecting me.
"Boys, go get a net, 'cause I do believe there's an
evil smurf and his
pet..." Turning her head
dramatically to see me and my gorgeous boyfriend,
Natasha stood up and walked up to him with all the predatory
finesse and
determination of a hunting panther.
"And what do we have here?" she said, drawing her
fingers across his chest.
"Natasha, this is my boyfriend Austin Camble.
Miss Natasha McVie, or Frank Lamont."
"Call him whatever you want, Alex. I'll call him 'lunch.'" She said
dragging a well manicured
fingernail down his chest and looking him in the
eyes.
Natasha then shot me a skewed glance and snorted because I
broke etiquette
by calling her Frank. She then gave
her hand for
"Honey Child, this boy is cuter then a bowl full of
puppies with a kitten on
top."
"Wait'll he smiles. He'll
have you dressing in overalls waiting on him hand
and foot," I said and shot a
grin at Austin, who was blushing up a storm of
red.
"Now, what's all this about a costume?" she said,
holding his hand and
leading us into the back after
virtually dismissing her circle of admirers.
"Yeah, Alex, why don't you tell her all about our
costume?"
with great amusement.
"Simple, hon. I need him to be a tiger, and you're the
only person I'd trust
with this task. Oh, and I need some bright yellow hair dye or
gel if you
can get it," I said, evading
the question.
"Sweetstuff, this is a gay
nightclub. I can make you fluorescent, glittered,
sequined, and day glow if you
need." Natasha said laughing.
Her "room" wasn't a big fancy dressing room as
befitting such a glamorous
"woman." It was a small
and grungy room overflowing with boxes and racks and
racks of dresses and costumes. The
makeup table was overflowing with jars
and containers of face paint,
powders and rouge.
"Well, honey, when you said you wanted to dress this hunkmuffin as a tiger,
I got a hold of a friend who does stage makeup and got this
lion mask from
The Lion King. Shouldn't be hard at
all to paint it up and make the king of
your bedroom into our Tyger Tyger burning bright."
"I can't thank you enough Natasha." I said,
kissing her cheek as she sat
down.
"I know, but hell, I get to play with this naked sports
star till it's done,
so we'll just call it even. Oh, and
I betta get an invitation to any parties
y'all go to."
around naked. Then we were shown
about 20 styles of tiger print fabric,
including fake fur, which was
gorgeous but outrageously expensive. Finally,
I choose a kid-friendly comic print tiger-stripe flannel.
his underwear, and I shushed
Natasha when she turned and raised an eyebrow
as she measured
beating were still evident if you
looked close enough. I put my fingers to
my lips in a demonstration of
secrecy. I would tell her when
around.
When we were done, Austin and I hugged her and then went out
to dance. They
were doing a mix of all the early
90s dance hits, and we got wicked sweaty
and didn't leave the floor till
almost
almost had to carry me up the
stairs.
While the dancing had worn me out,
after I got ready to go to bed a
very obviously frisky
behind me pressing a hard-on into
my back and trying to nuzzle my neck. On a
normal day this would have lasted
about a half second before I pounced on
him, but I was soooo
tired and I had to work the next day
Captain Frisky,
however, was both too worked up and
too oblivious about my job to care. I
was spun around when he finished,
and he scooped me up so my legs rode
around his waist and his hands
cupped my ass as he shoved his tongue into my
ear and licked my brain. In the
bedroom, I was pressed up against a wall by
the bed as Austin removed my
underwear, then I wrapped my legs around his
waist again. Austin put on a condom
without looking, without even stopping
his mad kissing. Then without any
foreplay, I was lowered onto his cock and
fucked and bounced till I was
afraid we'd fall over. It was fast, furious
and over in about 10 minutes.
Austin, the Austin I'd first met, was back,
and I felt so happy to be in his
arms, even if I was just a sex toy at that
moment. I was his sex toy, though,
so it was all fine with me. We fell into
bed when he finished; his orgasm
had been big and intense. He kissed me a
few times and fell asleep. I smiled
to myself as I snuggled up to him and
fell asleep, at last, I thought
with a grin, he's accepted me as a
girlfriend. I wonder if this was
how Jane Goodall felt.
I had talked Marika and Robert
into doing a Halloween show, although we were
going to call it a Monster Mash. I
rolled my eyes a lot, but whatever, the
show was going on.
I finished my costume on my lunch breaks and found a great
piece for a
performance costume to do our show
in. On the Friday before our holiday
show, we stayed after our sets to
design the lighting and go over
decorations and the flyers. The
next day, Marika, Phil, Austin and I went
over to hear our new drummer. Tiago Cortez was an olive-skinned blond with
black eyes and an intriguing five
o'clock shadow. Tiago had the shoulders
and arms of a drummer and that
cocky self-confidence that most drummers
swaggered with. He must have; he
was wearing a black cowboy hat knowing he
was going to meet a fag and a black
girl. But he was both a great musician
and a charming speaker.
"So you guys don't look like most bands I've played
with around here
before," he said with his
slight Portuguese accent as he leaned back against
the wall behind him.
"Honey, we ain't like most
bands around here. We have talent," Marika said
in her diva voice.
It's amazing how much better our sets sounded with a real
drummer and not
the preprogrammed stuff Robert had
been using.
We did a few songs with just guitars, and he seemed to fit
right in. After
we'd agreed, Marika
said she needed to get home and make dinner, and Robert
had his wife and kids to return to.
When Tiago found out Austin and I were
going to go hit the Parliament
House, he got excited and said he wanted to
go to. I wasn't sure if he knew
what the Parliament House, so I asked.
"You do know I'm gay, right?"
"Please. Austin could hide it,
you glow like a 7-11 sign." To which Austin
nudged me as he laughed.
"So you know what the Parliament House is then?" I
said, ignoring my
12-year-old boyfriend.
"Baby, I live in Sanford. I'll bet I've been there more
than you."
"So you're gay too?" I asked.
"Not really ..." is all he said as he packed his
drums without looking up.
"So you're straight but open?" Austin asked,
suddenly finding this
interesting.
"I used to think so, but not any more ..." Tiago said through an obvious
smile at our confusion.
"So you're bi?" I asked, running out of options.
Finally, Tiago turned around and
fixed us with a seductive smile and these
self-confident eyes. "More bi
than gay or straight, but I don't think there
is a title for it. I just like sex,
man, boy, woman, girl. I don't care, and
I don't care what we do mostly. I've done vanilla and then
the next day
fisted this queeny
kid I picked up. I don't have anybody
lined up today or
tomorrow, and at gay clubs I have a
100 percent success rate."
Then he dropped his voice a little lower and walked up to
us, "Unless you
two wanna
save gas." I was shocked, and Austin actually stepped behind me
and held me as though I were his
shield.
"You're gorgeous Tiago, but
we're dating and not playing around.
Pretty
vanilla, huh?" I said with a
smile.
"Hey, I'll do some kinky if you want," Austin said
as he wrapped an arm
around me and pulled me against
him.
"I figured you two were exclusive. I sure wouldn't
share one of you," Tiago
said with a grin.
We talked to him adown and found out all about him and his
reason for moving
to central Florida.
At P House, I led both boys back to the dressing rooms to
find Natasha
waiting to get ready for the 10
p.m. show.
"Ohhhh, and look, you brought
me one for me this time. How sweet!" she said,
eyeing Tiago.
Tiago lit up and took her hand and
kissed it, "I am not worthy, Miss
Natasha." Of course, she ate that up.
So Natasha showed us the tiger costume and insisted that
Austin try on, As
he was stripping, she waved Tiago and me away, saying it was going to be
about 20 minutes till he was done.
She told me to go to the bar and get her
a Long Island iced tea and whatever
we wanted and to tell them it was for
her. So Tiago
and I went out and got the drinks from the nearly naked
bartender in the piano showroom. Tiago flirted with the naked bartender and
took off his shirt showing a very
blond, hairy body. I was tempted to run my
fingers around in it and bury my
face there, but I didn't.
After about 20 minutes, Tiago and
I went back to find a full-grown carton
tiger getting face paint on and not
looking very happy.
"Ohhhhhh, Alex. I know you
have your hands full with this one. Lord, you'd
think he never wore make-up
before," she teased. Finally, she had Austin
stand up and shake his ass/tail at
us, then turn around. God almighty, was
he cute!
"Oh my god, it's purr-fect," I screamed in a none-too-masculine way.
"Oh no honey, it's grrrrrreat!"
Natasha said, making fun of Tony the Tiger.
Being the brat he is, Austin came over and started purring,
then rubbed his
face all over mine, ruining his
make up and getting it all over me. After a
series of slaps and name-calling,
Natasha handed me a towel and some cold
cream and scolded Austin for being
a 'Bad kitty' Tiagojust laughed.
I told them I was going to go dance and whenever they were
done they could
find me there. Tiagostayed
to flirt with Natasha, so I went out alone,
wishing I'd called my friend
Michael or Ryan and his boyfriend Michael.
I danced up a storm while waiting. Thirty minutes later, a
very, very, very
animated Austin came up behind me
and picked me up off the floor and spun me
around as he kissed my neck. When
he finally sat me down, I looked up and
saw this odd look in his eyes.
"OK, what are you on?" I asked, noticing Tiagowas also very ... animated.
Austin began laughing and put his hands over his mouth like
a little kid. I
rolled my eyes, and then it hit me
-- all lovey, animated, touchy.
"Holy shit. You're
rolling!" I said, as pleased with my detective skills as
I was annoyed. Austin
didn't deny it. He just glowed and picked me up and
brought me in for a kiss.
"Natasha said she has some for you too if you want
any," Austin said before
sticking his tongue on my brain
through my ear.
I passed and decided I was going to be the sober one driving
home. But we
danced and did some major making
out where all the boys could watch us.
Yeah, it was tacky and very junior high, but what did I
care? I was with the
one guy who could make me do
something like that in public.
A few minutes later, Natasha walked up. "OK, sugar. You
got about 10
minutes, go on and get
backstage." At which point Austin kissed me deeply
and said, "OK, OK, you gotta go watch the show, OK? Promise?"
I was confused
until I recalled what day it was.
"Natasha, how could you do that to him?" I said as
Austin excitedly ran off.
"Oh pooh, Alex. You ever seen
the abs or ass on that boy? It'd be a sin not
to show everyone what they can't
have 'cause it's yours. A sin!"
To which I had nothing really to say. So she took me up and
got me a seat
right next to the stage.
Tiagodisappeared later with a very
cute black guy who was all dressed up,
and Natasha stayed in the back with
her entourage, before coming out to MC.
The show had three fairly good dancers, a very drunk and
unattractive guy, a
guy who was probably really hot, 30
years earlier, a professional dancer
from a club in Miami (we found out
later which disqualified him from amateur
strip) and then, last of all, my
Austin.
He came out and began laughing until he saw me sitting
there. Then the music
started, and he stared at me while
he slithered out of his shirt. His feet
were bare already, so when he spun
around a few times and began loosing his
pants, he didn't have that awkward
time losing the shoes. The pants were off
in a few seconds and there was my
baby, dancing around wildly from the X and
performing for me in a room full of
very horny and loud gay men. He slid his
shorts down a few times, mimicking
what he'd already seen. Toward the end of
the song, he dropped them
completely nd was about to spin around when
Natasha came out with a big fan hurriedly covering him up.
"OK, sugar. We don't do nude her. Pull up the undies and grab your clothes,
love."
Natasha was laughing hysterically, watching the
hyper-charged Austin
bouncing around the stage in his
underwear. At one point she stepped over
and looked down at me.
"Baby, you shoulda damn well
gone as Pooh and Tigger. That boy got way too
much bounce!"
Austin ended up winning $500 and was even more bouncy after
that. And he was
all over me pulling my shirt off
and grappling me like an octopus ... a
happy, horny, loving octopus.
An hour later, I took Austin to the Jeep and kissed him some
more and drove
back while he tried to molest me
the whole way.
In the apartment, Austin had me naked in about 30 seconds
and was all over
me. I have no clue why, but there
was something delicious about being naked
in front of him while he was fully
dressed. Finally he let go and stepped
back a little.
"Tiagotold me about this one
thing he's done with much bigger guys and I
wanna
fucking try it," he announced in a low husky voice.
God, I couldn't imagine anything I would deny this
personified sex. So
Austin dropped his pants and underwear and lifted me up and
kissed me some
more and massaged my ass till I was
hard as a rock. He'd been hard since the
dance floor.
Suddenly, Austin flipped me around and I was upside down
hugging his legs so
I wouldn't fall, but he'd held me tight and suddenly I felt
warm lips taking
my cock in.
"Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh,"
I moaned. So I took his cock in my mouth, which
received grunts of approval. A
little later, with my legs still over his
head, he laid me belly down on the
counter and stuck his face in my ass and
had me moaning and leaking all over
the place. Finally, he used his hand to
bring me to climax. 20 minutes
after starting he hauled me over shoulder
like a sack of potatoes and swatted
my bare ass. In the bedroom, he condomed
up and then did me with him
standing up and my legs wrapped around his wais.
And we kissed like we might never get a chance to again.
"I love you so fucking much Alex," he kept saying
between kisses. I never
got a chance to respond before he
was in my mouth again.
He got off 45 minutes later because he was spending so much
time kissing me
he'd just stop fucking me. After
the first time, he laid me down while still
inside me and rolled me partially
on my side with one leg in the air and
pressed forward till we were kissing
with my leg pressed between us.
I was told the next day by both Mrs. Tremere
and the neighbors below me that
we were exceptionally noisy.
Two weeks later, we drove to Seattle Scene early Friday
afternoon with
Marika and Robert following. Tiago met
us there and was talking to this very
tall couple and had hands on both
their butts. I shook my head with a smile.
The windows had all been covered with black plastic, which
kept the light
out. Tiago
had his drums set up and there, were bats and shit everywhere. I
went to the back room, which had
become our make shift dressing room. I
changed into a pair of pleated
black pants and a black silk shirt over a
black undershirt. My hair was
slicked back, I had a big silver dollar sign
-- "$" -- around my neck and a
big fake ruby ring on a ring finger. Austin
insisted I wear a small devil tail
so everyone would get the message.
Marika wore a gorgeous sequined
dress I barrowed from Natasha. It was black
on the top and had red, yellow,
orange and gold sequins making flames from
the bottom and a red scarf around
her shoulders.
At 8 p.m., the lights went out and we got the knock to tell
us the show was
beginning. We walked out in almost
pitch black, guided only by the lights on
Robert's synths.
Suddenly, Tiago started a simple jungle style drum
beat and
it got louder and more intricate,
then Robert started in on his synth,
adding a deeper drum base roll and
some organ sounds. This went on for
several minutes before Phil began
on his electric guitar. Suddenly a red
spotlight shown down on me with my
back to the audience.
Please allow me to introduce myself,
I'm a man, of wealth and taste...
I turned around and gave a very blas頬ook across the room.
I've been around for a long long
time,
Stole many a man's soul and faith.
At this point I had walked up to a straight couple's table
and first made
eyes at her, then reached over and
brought her boyfriend's face to mine by
grabbing his tie and kissing him
before pushing him back in his seat.
I was around when Jesus Christ had a moment, of doubt and
pain
Made damn sure that Pilot
Washed his hands, and sealed his fate.
I dragged my fingers through this cute guy's hair and then
hooked his chin
and made him follow me as I walked
by.
Pleased to meet you,
Hope you guess my name
I took that same guy and kissed him hard on the lips before
pushing him away
dismissively.
But what's confusing you,
Is the nature of my game
I ran my fingers through this lesbian's hair and kept
walking.
Stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
I was completely behind the audience, which made them all
turn. I jumped on
the counter and used my feet to
drag a waiter close, before pushing him away
with my feet.
Killed the Czars and his ministers,
Anastasia, screamed in Vain
I jumped down and found this real big guy at a table with
both guys and
girls.
I rode a tank
I stood behind him and made it look like he was my steed and
I was whipping
him.
Held a generals rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
I mimed gagging at the smell as I passed this couple dressed
casually.
Pleased to meet you,
Hope you guess my name
I pulled Austin in and frenched
him for a moment.
But what's confusing you,
Is the nature of my game
I ended the kiss and moved behind him and ran my hands down
his shirt from
his neck, obviously stopping at his
nipples.
I watched with glee while your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
At this point, a brilliant light hit Marika
and shown off her dress as she
sung backup for me and danced. I
kissed my dollar sign and grabbed a tip off
a table and put it in my pocket.
I shouted out, who killed the Kennedy's
When after all, it was you and me.
I spun around and sat in a man's lap and gave him my most
seductive stare.
Let me please introduce myself,
I'm a man of wealth, and taste.
I sung still on his lap making him laugh uncomfortably
before brining him in
for a kiss.
And I lay traps for the troubadors
Who get killed before they reached
I got up and did a little Mick Jagger
move with my arms and body.
Pleased to meet you,
Hope you guess my name
I took a woman's hand and brought her out of her seat to
face me from her
extended arm.
But what's confusing you,
Is the nature of my game
{Instrumental}
I dismissed the woman and danced around, kissing guys,
staring down straight
boys, dancing and strutting as the
drums, guitar and keyboards blasted.
Pleased to meet you,
Hope you guess my name
But what's confusing you,
Is the nature of my game
With more vehemence, I grabbed a young guy and brought his
face close to
mine and just sniffed his neck
before letting him go.
Just as every cop is a criminal
I quickly grabbed the boy before he could sit down and
pretended to handcuff
him.
And all the sinner's saints.
I spun around with a cherubic smile on my face and let my
head fall against
my shoulder sweetly,
The
Cause I'm in need of some, restraint.
I slammed both hands together and held them over my head as
if they were in
ropes.
So if you meet me, have some courtesy
Have some Sympathy, and some Taste...
I brought my hands down and bowed elegantly before reaching
my hand out to
take a woman's hand in mine like a
gentleman.
Oh yeah
I then brought that boy I had pretended to handcuff over and
put their hands
together...
Gunna get down baby...
I reached behind myself and grabbed both his ass cheeks.
And Marika and the band slowly
finished the song as I danced around until
our lights were off. The audience
went insane, clapping, whistling and
cheering.
Next, Marika did the opening song
to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. You
know, the one that goes, "Michael
Raniey was ill the day the Earth stood
still, but he told us, of his plans
..."
I did Werewolf in
Black. Then I did an acoustic
version of Welcome to my nightmare.
When we called for a short break,
up and carried me to the back the
room.
"You were sooo fucking hot
with that song!" he said excitedly. Then he
kissed me hard for a few moments.
"Guess they're right about power being a fucking
aphrodisiac. I totally want
to fucking jump you now."
"You may want to go beat off in the bathroom then baby,
cause we got two
more sets tonight ... we could skip
the P House later if you want."
"Naaaaah.
I'll wait till we get home and see if I can make you wake everyone
in the whole fucking complex up
this time," he said, grinning as he reached
a hand down the back of my pants
and cupped my ass.
I tightend my ass cheeks over his
hand and blew a kiss at him.
"Go get me an iced latte, OK honey?" I asked him
with a grin.
Our next set was a quick rundown of songs from Rocky Horror
and, of course,
our regulars all knew this and
brought their squirt guns, newspapers, toast,
toilet paper and playing cards
I loved the opening song to the Rocky Horror. Marika did a great Magenta,
and the crowd went crazy when I
spontaneously grabbed
audience and removed his shirt
while doing Sweet Transvestite.
As we'd warned the people that we were going to repeat our
first set for the
last show, we did an even more
lurid version of Sympathy for the Devil with
poor
and tongues.
As we closed down the set and were preparing to go, I
finally had a chance
to go in the backroom and change. I
didn't know that
right behind me. He pressed me
against the wall with my hands over my head
as he kissed my neck and shoved his
tongue in my ear. Before I got to leave,
he dropped to his knees and pulled
off my pants and for the first time all
on his own, gave me head. I was a
butterfly's eyelash away from doing him
right there on there on the floor.
But I held out, well, most of me did. His
mouth definitely brought me to a
conclusion. The power and erotic bliss of
having this God on his knees before
me ...
We rode to the P House and arrived with about half of the
costumers. As we strutted in under
the narcotic effect a good show can have,
Tiago went off to find Natasha,
Marika left and our crowd
dispersed into the army of the night that will
always be Saturday night at P
House.
Michael was supposed to be there, so my shirtless boyfriend
and I walked
around outside to see if we could
find him. At one point, we were walking up
the back staircase, just to do a
once over of balcony bingo. It was always
fun to see what was going on, even
if I never actually ever went into a
room.
At the top of the stairs, a small group of college-age guys
all dressed in
spandex with mascara and blush
obviously trawled on was puffing themselves
up with the self-appointed role of
verbally judging those whom they would
and wouldn't sleep with as each
person passed. As we got to the top the
leader, a bleached-blond skinny
bitch proclaimed loudly, "Oh no, not that
little blond, but I'll take that
big hunk next to him," referring to me and
let it get to me, I did. My high
was suddenly broken, and as I slumped,
"What was that, you fucking little pussy?!?"
up in his face. The tall bitch went
almost white with fear, and his
"friends" began trying to
skulk away.
"Listen here you fucking cunt,
you're an ugly-assed guy and even uglier
girl. You can forget drag because
they have way too much fucking class to
stand around shooting their stupid
fucking mouths off just to make other
people feel bad because their own
sad lives suck so fucking bad!" (Ok, so
obviously he hadn't actually
watched that many drag shows or drag queens
yet)
was cheer in my head that my
boyfriend was defending me.
"Listen, you fucking sperm waste. There's no way you'll
ever get me or
anyone like me because you're a
fucking sad, pathetic wuss, and I'd rather
beat off then let something as
fucking sorry as you even look at my dick!"
"Bleaching your crappy hair, putting on all that
make-up, designer shirts
... None of it will cover up the fact that you're a fucking
pussy with
nothing to offer anybody. You're the
fucking reason guys like me, and most
of the guys here were scared to
come out, we're all terrified we'll turn
into you. You're the face of
everything straight people hate about gay men
and women; that all of us are
whiny, fucking, spineless pussies who act like
bitchy, self-centered teenaged
girls. You have no right judging any of us,
'cause there ain't one person here
would ever get drunk enough to take
something like you home."
was about to grab
the guard and pointed up to the
dispersing group of fashion critics. The
guard stopped and cocked his hip
and watched along with everyone out there
as my boyfriend read the self-appointed
bitch his version of the Bible.
"Now get the fuck out of this bar, or I swear to God
that no one in the
place will be fast or strong enough
to keep me from beating you where you
fucking stand."
The kid, who was now white-faced and terrified, ran down the
stairs,
followed closely by the remnants of
his friends. As soon as
the place began cheering and
clapping for him. Apparently he'd been the one
who actually said what everyone else
was thinking. My hero had become the
hero to the masses.
For the rest of the night, drinks kept coming our way from
every angle as
everyone who'd seen the little
outrage or heard about it bought us drink
after drink. By the time, we came
across Michael I could barely stand
without
"Alex, I heard you just beat up a group of
sissies." Michael said after
taking a swig of beer.
"Nhope, id waz Aussin, now bhee nhas or ah'll
ghet Aussin to ghet you tdo,"
I lamely threatened before cracking up.
"Thazz rhat,
bhe nace or'll havta ... gawd yur bhig!"
stood next to Michael, looking up.
"So, you little drunks. How
the hell you plan on getting home tonight?"
Michael asked with obvious amusement. Reason and logic and
sensibility
having long left either of our
thinking, both exclaimed, "Ah cin drahv!"
Michael sat his beer down and looked me in the eyes
seriously and said, "No,
you can't! Give me your car keys. Now!"
I fumbled in my pants for the keys and finally handed them
to him, "Iss a
jip, not a car."
I remember about 20 minutes more before my brain turned off
for the night.
I'm told that I decorated a large path of sidewalk and
several flower beds
with my dinner and everything I'd
drunk as Michael steered the two of us
back to his car. Michael carried me
into his apartment and set up the
standard drunk care kit: a trash
can to puke in, a glass of water and paper
towels. He laid me on my side on
his couch while
chair across from me and Michael
went to bed with a shake of his head at his
two pathetic palls.
The next day was an exceedingly sunny version of hell. Even
got hangovers, was feeling it.
Michael delighted in tormenting us even
though he did take care of us.
Finally, when it was almost 6,
had to get ready for the show
later. Michael drove us to our car at the P
House and left us. I had to get cleaned up and dressed and
back down to the
Seattle Scene for my Saturday show. On the way home, I had my eyes closed
and was trying to will the roads to
be clear of bumps.
"
"Yeah ..."
"Next time you defend my honor, let's leave afterward.
OK?"
"Word!"
That week,
carrying a helmet, and a plain
leather jacket.
"Come on, Alex. I wanna take
you to lunch," he said excitedly.
"OK, so how'd you get here?" I puzzled.
"I rode, silly!" he teased back.
So taking a further look from his widely grinning face, to
his jacket, to
his helmet, I suddenly got it. I
walked to the front door and saw a big
green motorcycle sitting there. I
turned and looked at him with confusion on
my face.
"Ummm,
what? How?"
"It's a
So he gave me the helmet and went and got his off his seat,
and we rode to a
Cuban restaurant downtown. He
explained over fried plantains and this
shredded beef dish how he got
Dennis to drive him to a used-car lot and used
his money to get a motorcycle. He
figured it would be until he could save
enough for a car.
"Then I went and got some work clothes for work
tomorrow," he added with a
smirk.
"What?" I choked on a plantain. He got his
award-winning smile, and his eyes
were so warm and sparkling.
"One of my old friend's fathers works at a jewelry
store. He gave me a job
selling rings and diamonds to women
and desperate dudes,"
with a boyish grin. "And I got
lunch, but after you get off work and clean
up, I wanna
take you to dinner."
"And?" I asked...
"I, uhhh, need to borrow the
money cause after lunch, I'm broke."
"You're borrowing money from me to take me out?" I
asked with an overly
incredulous roll of my eyes.
"I'll pay you back," he teased.
"Yeah, right. I'll never see
that money again."
"I'll work it off then," he said after dropping
his voice to a sexy growl. I
shivered as the implication hit me.
"Yeah?" I asked softly.
"Oh yeah. I'll fuck you long
and hard for each dollar you lend me." He was
gunna
make me blow a load here at the restaurant without even touching me.
"I-I-I charge interest," I said a little less
defiantly.
"Noted," he said confidently, staring in my eyes
and making me feel small
and weak. I think both of us had
found the place and position we wanted to
be in.
When I got back to work, I had to tell Marika
and James all about
new job, and of course his paying
me in sex.
"What is it with you and prostitutes?" James asked
sweetly with a bit too
much cheek.
"Honey, it ain't called
whoring if you live with the guy. It's called a
marriage!" Marika
said, laughing.
That night, we dressed up smartly and
"guy" has to drive,
to
him about when they talked earlier.
As we ate and chatted,
under the scrutiny.
"Is there something on my face?" I finally asked,
getting my napkin.
"Not yet,"
looked down at the table then up
into his brilliant face. Silently he
mouthed, "I'm gunna fuck you 30 ways till Sunday" before smiling
warmly at
my obvious excitement. After
dinner, he drove to The Cheesecake Factory in
"Oh, guess who tracked me down?"
"That bitchy queen from the other
night?" I responded lightly.
"Nooooo,
not her."
"Ohhh!
That ugly orange shirt you used to wear that I made you toss out?"
"Close, but noooooooo,"
"Ummmmm,
your high school sweetheart?"
"Yeah, but which one?"
"The girl! I don't know. They
all look alike to me!"
We both laughed, then
frat."
"The white guy who thinks he's a Rastafarian?" I asked.
"He'll fucking love that you said that. Anyway, he
found a box of my stuff
in his closet, and the leather
jacket you gave me was in his closet behind
his."
"Ohhh, that's great
baby!"
"Is it OK if he stays overnight? Maybe goes to the
party with us?"
asked like a little kid asking to
spend the night at his friend's house.
"
him right at home."
"Alex, until I can help pay for stuff, it's your
apartment. I know how you
feel, but right is right. Hell, we haven't even discussed our situation
yet, Am I living with you or just
visiting?"
at me lovingly.
"We've never talked about this before, but I guess we
should soon. I mean,
about us and the living
arrangements and our relationship and all."
And then we went home, and
later in bed.
"Mmmmmm.
In four or five more years, you'll have that interest paid off," I
teased as I rested comfortably in
his arms.
"I'll just keep borrowing if you offer deals like
that," he said before
kissing my neck
The next morning, I got up and
coffee, then we ate and later
showered together. No sex that time, but we
looked at other with that,
"soon, I promise" look. We got dressed, and I
left a few minutes early to drive
him to work before going to mine. I'd
told him I'd drive him to work and
he could use the Motorcycle on weekends
and when our scheduals
didn't fit, but I was so nervous about him on that.
I talked with Marika, and she
agreed to do the shows that weekend without me
rather than not having a show that
weekend. That way, I was open for all the
parties that weekend.
Friday began with a great day at work, James was given his
own window and
Marika, Ian and I all got 25-cent
raises.
That afternoon, I picked
dinner before getting ready for
Brian's arrival. We were going to the P
House Halloween party before hooking up with Michael, Ryan,
his Michael and
After showering together,
room with them saying, "You
can't have a towel until you tell me who you're
going out as tonight!"
Of course, I followed bare assed and tried to intimidate
him, but he just
laughed at my attempts then threw
the towels at my face. As I caught them,
he grabbed me and began to tickle
me with sadistic abandon. As he bent me
this way and that, never ceasing
his evil torment, the doorbell rang.
"Brian!" we said together with looks of panic on
our faces. I told him to
answer the door while I ran in and
got dressed.
around his waist and went to the
door, and I fled to the bedroom and pulled
some shorts and a shirt on.
"Hey, Alex!" Brian yelled
from the other room.
"How's it going, Brian?" I hollered back.
"Cool man. Sorry for interrupting your scrumping!" he called back. I was
soooo
embarrassed. I was about lie to him and deny it, but
laughing so hard I just shook my
head.
"Don't worry about it. Your frat brother just can't
keep his hands to
himself. Let me know if he gets too
frisky for you!"
"Hey!"
I came out a few minutes later and Brian was standing by the
door talking to
Austin, who was more animated then usual.
Brian smiled and walked up and
gave me a big one-armed,
straight-boy hug.
"Good to see you again, dude. Thanks for letting me
stay."
"Not a problem, dude. You're always welcome here."
I said with a smile.
"Besides, look at the puppy grin you put on his face.
How could I deny him
his best friend?"
Brian grinned and gave
best friend, so you better be nice
to me."
again, and I'll get my boyfriend to
beat your ass."
"Hey!" I protested. "When the hell did you
get a boyfriend? I didn't know
you had no boyfriend!"
"Keep that up, and neither of us'll
have one," he said with a scowl.
Brian was laughing and scuffed
while he went down and got his
stuff.
They came up with a suitcase and a large box, which Brian
made
"Hey, it's his stuff!" Brian shrugged when I
looked at them. I had set out
some of
the two of us into cultured Eurofags.
through his stuff.
"I pulled a bunch of his stuff aside when he called me
from that dude's
place and told me was coming over
to get it. I could hear that guy telling
him what to say," Brian said
to me quietly as
the box.
"So I took the stuff I knew was special and hid it in a
box in my closet and
figured if he was doing OK, I'd say
I forget it and give it to him later. So
what the hell was that guy's deal
anyway?" he asked quietly.
"Hey, you two. Stop with the
whispering!" Ausitn yelled while holding up a
diploma.
"Later," I said, winking at him.
"Look, all my pictures of you from the Internet!"
8x11 photos of me that he'd apparently read like a comic
book as they were
now dog-eared and old-looking even
though they weren't quite a year old. I
took them and went through them
slowly, remembering each one I had sent him,
including childhood pictures.
I wanted to make a joke and berate him for wasting his paper
and ink on me,
but when I looked up in his eyes,
all I could do was smile and hand them
back to him.
"I have all of your photos too, baby." he grinned
when I touched his fingers
as I handed them back.
"And look, the necklace you gave me, and the Oakleys. Phoebe made me get rid
of them, so I stored them at
Brian's,"
and sunglasses I'd given him for
his birthday.
"Oh yeah, I got your jacket in my stuff," Brian
said, jumping up and running
out.
back is all the time she kept us
apart."
I put my hand over his and held it as Brian came in carrying
the jacket.
"Look,
loudly.
"Does that mean we can ..."
"No!" Brian and I snapped at the same time. We
both laughed as
"Yeah, well. Fuck both of y'all. I wasn't talking about
either of you
assholes, anyway."
So we went out to eat later and met up with Tiago, who was going to ride
down with us to Parliament House.
We went home and loaded all our stuff in
the Jeep for the ride down. We were
going to dress in our costumes at
Michael's before heading out to meet up with Ryan, his
Michael, and Brandon.
"So no girls, huh?" Brian
asked on the way down.
"Naaahh, they'll be lots of 'em tonight,"
"I'd make sure I checked their naughty bits just to
make sure!" Tiago said.
"Why? You wouldn't care either way!" I said,
laughing.
"True, but I'd wanna know
what I was doing later," he said with a poke to
the back of my seat.
"Well, from what
a girl in overalls," Brian
said, poking
"Depends on which boy and what you plan on doing later
on." I teased. Then
Tiago added, "He's right.
Stay away from the leather crowed or anyone
dressed like the Village People!"
We laughed before
Halloween. That cuts down your
choices by like 90 percent."
"Maybe I need to accept that I'm going home alone for a
change," he sighed.
"Safe bet"
So we all piled out and brought our costumes up in bags,
satchels and, in
"Well, I don't recognize those two, so who'd you bring
for me?" Michael
asked from his doorway as he gazed
at Brian and Tiago."
"That depends how you act tonight. If you're very good,
you get Brian, and
if you're a naughty boy, Tiagois going to spank and punish you." I said,
walking past him.
"So how do I get both?" he called after me.
"Actually, Michael, Brian isn't gay."
"Well technically, neither are you, big boy!"
Michael said.
"Technically, neither am I," Tiago
answered.
"Hey, you're the only fag here."
"Uhhh humm,"
Michael cleared his throat, letting everyone know which side of
the fence he stood on.
"Poor Brian. Three who munch
rug versus four who suck rod," Michael said.
"How do you know I don't suck rod too?" Brian
asked Michael mischievously.
Michael looked at me and shrugged, "You're right, I
don't." Then Michael
grabbed his arm and yanked him
laughing into his bedroom. A moment later,
Brian screamed and pleaded loudly.
excited, and I laughed.
"Whatever you do Brian, don't call him a fag. It just
turns him on," I
called out.
"Shut up, Smurf. Brian can't respond, he's got his
mouth full," Michael
called back as Brian laughed.
"All right Michael, let me know if he swallows. Oh, and
no fucking him. He's
my best friend, and that's my
job!"
"Dream on!" Brian said as he opened the door, and
we rolled around laughing
hysterically at ourselves.
"Yeah, Alex would probably kill you,"
"Love, if I catch you fucking him, you will be the
first casualty, and
you'll be searching for weeks
trying to find out where your balls went after
I kicked them so hard they flew out your mouth." And
then I smiled sweetly
and tweaked his nose and said with
a kiss in the air near his face,
"Loverboy."
"Daaaamn!"
Brian laughed. "You finally found a girlfr... I
mean Boyfriend
who could keep you in your
place!" Then he turned to me and said, "Good job,
Alex!"
"Brian, don't encourage Mighty Mouse, we have a strict
rule about not
feeding the animals," Michael
said, handing beers to Tiago and Austin.
"He's right, Brian. But if you wanna
feed the yeti, he eats anything old and
grizzled, and I mean
anything," I said, pulling
to begin changing him and helping
with his costume.
"No more fucking on my bed!" Michael called out. I
panicked suddenly,
remembering that the only time it
happened was with Jason. I stopped and
hoped
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Well, who the hell fucked you on Michael's bed? I know
it wasn't him,"
"Oh, lots of guys. I was a total tramp a few years
ago," I said trying to
laugh it off.
"You're lying. It was Jason, wasn't it?"
deep breath and let it out slowly
before asking,
"Why do you think it was him? I've known Michael a lot
longer then either of
you."
"Because you'd have told me if it was Jake, and you
wouldn't have cared if
it was some trick. It couldn't have
been Colin, because you didn't know
Michael back then. Now you're
worried how I'll react."
He was right, even though he was calm. I was still worried.
With all that
had happened, there were still
things we'd never discussed. Part of the
problem with two guys dating, I
suppose; neither one wants to rock the boat.
"Yeah, one night we got drunk and did it here. It was
tacky, and ..." I was
about to say I was sorry when
"Shhh.
We weren't together then Alex. I mean, honestly, a big part of me
wishes you'd have just waited and
been there when I came back. I mean, as
far I was concerned, you were mine,
and we should have been together. I also
know it was stupid for me to expect
that after what I told you. I want to
feel grateful to him for taking
care of you, I really do. I know how much it
had to hurt when I called you, but
I can't yet, and I admit it, I'm still
jealous. But I do feel bad for him,
too. I wouldn't wanna lose you the way
he did."
I hugged him tightly around his chest and laid my head on
his pecs, "Thank
you, Austin. You've always been
number one. Always. And you won't lose me
unless you chase me away. But I still feel awful for what I did to
Jason.
He deserved so much more."
I'd been letting it grow longer for that night.
Softly he said, "So you gonna
help me put this crap on?" while holding up
the make-up and mask.
Twenty minutes later he was totally done and then he looked
at me and said,
"Soooo who are you gonna be?" I smirked at him and began pushing him out
of
the room.
"Can't tell you yet. You'll
see when everyone else does," he cursed me and
tickled me a bit but I pointed out
he was just making it longer till he
found out.
My costume was pretty simple, a red and white
horizontal-striped shirt, blue
shorts, a slingshot in my back
pocket and my longer hair all spiked up with
fluorescent yellow styling gel and
hair spray. That -- and an evil smirk --
and I was set.
I stepped out and Austin, who was in his tiger outfit, just
gave me a dumb
stare. So did Tiago,
who was in a Zorro costume; very sexy, I might add.
Michael was wearing a black paramilitary uniform; very hot
in a naughty sort
of way. It was even hotter when he
slipped his Ray-Bans on and his eyes
disappeared. Brian's costume made
me laugh. He wore yellow and orange surfer
shorts and a Ron Jon's Surf Shop
T-shirt with little rubber sharks stuck all
over him. Their mouths were on him
as in a bite, and little mouth-sized
pieces of the costume were cut or
torn out. It was funny as hell.
"So what the fuck are you? Dennis the
Menace?"
Brian began laughing, and as I got up next to
Michael began laughing so hard he dropped to the floor. Tiago was the last,
but you could see his face when he
got it. Finally, I stood next to
and brought us to a mirror to show
him.
So there in the mirror, we had a very tall, cute cartoon
tiger next to a
little boy with spiked yellow hair
and a mischievous grin. All of a sudden,
"Hi, Calvin."
"Hey, Hobbes."
"I guess it's official now,
you two," Brian said after swigging his beer.
"What's that?"
"Dude! Theme
costumes? You two are so totally a couple now," he said with a
laugh.
"I coulda told you that and
saved you a trip," Michael said. "You wanna
see
the video I made of them a few
weeks ago when they got trashed and started
making out on the floor?"
Austin and I spun around quickly. "What?" we asked
in unison. Brian laughed
and said, "Thanks, but no
thanks."
"No way. You're full of shit.
I wasn't that drunk,"
settled down and was mostly
convinced that he was right.
"Nah, but you both made good faces when I said
that," Michael said, picking
up his handcuffs, his keys, his
nightstick and his fake pepper spray (breath
saver).
"OK, troops. Lock and load. We're hitting enemy
territory!" Michael said in
his deepest voice as he went to the
door. We all laughed and followed. I had
never seen Michael so sexy before.
When we arrived at a very busy Parliament House, the parking
lots were
overflowing and the crowd was all amped up a few more notches then normal.
"Holy shit!" Brian said
"This is a gay club? It's massive!"
"It's their secret base, Bri.
Michael's a general, and I'm a spy. Pretty
soon we're taking over. Sorry dude.
By tomorrow you'll even be gayer then
Alex!"
"Hey!" I protested as
"I'm still not gonna let you
fuck me no matter how gay you make me!" Brian
said unemotionally.
Just then Tiago said in a soft
purr, "Relax, Brian.
fuck your hot tight ass. I
am!" He whispered into Brian's ear and goosed
him.
In his best redneck voice Brian said "Gollllly. I ain't never been with
no
Spanish chick before!"
Tiago turned to me and said,
"Just for that, no lube."
"No lube, Brian, sorry. She's
not Spanish, she's Port-u-geeeze," I said
holding the vowels extra long.
"Ahhh, that's OK," Brian
said with a shrug of his shoulders. "I'll get drunk
enough I won't care."
"You are all freaks, total freaks!" Michael said
as he paid the cover
charge.
We didn't even bother going inside the club at first. We
chose to go get a
drink at one of the outdoor tiki bars and show Brian the size of the club.
It was fun because sights that I wouldn't have looked at
twice were cracking
him up: dudes kissing, drag queens,
nearly naked leather queens. After about
20 minutes, we ran into Brandon, Ryan's roommate, who was
dressed in a
doctor's coat with a stethoscope
around his neck.
.
"Hey,
"Heeeey, Alex," he
shouted back with a big grin as he came over.
"Where's the rest of the group?" I asked him after
a quick hug.
"Hey
inside dancing. You can't miss 'em."
I introduced
fond of. Let's face it, a 6-foot-6 guy dressed in paramilitary garb is going
to attract a fair amount of
attention, and so far Michael was getting more
than a few stares.
So our little army grew as we got drinks and toured. As we
stood in line
waiting to go inside the packed
club, a group of cowboys went by, all young
and bronzed with big red scarves
around their necks. Suddenly I heard my
name being shouted and turned to
the cowboys to see a very excited one
running up to me.
"Alex!" an amped up
Asian cowboy was shouting.
"James!" I shouted back, hugging him in surprise.
"I was wondering if I was gonna
see you here," James yelled over the noise.
"You did? I-I didn't even know you were gay," I
yelled back
"Uh, yeah. I kept dropping
hints, but you were always so wrapped up talking
about you and Austin. I just didn't
know how to say it to you. Marika
knows," he said a little lower
as we had sidetracked into the closed
restaurant with my army in tow.
Michael and Tiago went to find
Ryan and his Michael - why do so many gay
guys insist on calling themselves
Michael instead of Mike or mickey or
BOB??? -- while Austin, Brian,
Brandon and I talked with James for a few
minutes. I barely noticed three
guys dressed with black and white headbands
with floppy ears, black and white
jock straps with tails and black and white
boots all wearing dog collars. Then
a large hand covered my eyes and a voice
far above me said, "Guess who mutha fucka!" I knew it was
Natasha, but if
she were opening up the gate ...
"Hmmm. Tall, dark skin, hairy as fuck forearms, fruity
breath," I said. "It
has to be King Kong's gay step
brother Queen Kon."