Over the next few weeks,
my daily routine fell back into place. The intense
and overwhelming presence
of my friends receded to a comfortable level, and
I could now piss without
someone rushing to my door to make sure I wasn't
making a noose out of my
shower curtain. Don't get me wrong; knowing my
past, I would have done
the same thing, and there was no way I was hiding
how I felt. Empty,
confused, lost; I was basically on autopilot as I
coasted through the days.
I really appreciated the fact that I had such
incredible friends. I was
also glad that they knew when it was time to
withdraw.
This doesn't mean I was
better. I felt like a huge part of me had died an
agonizing death. Just
like grief at losing a parent or friend, there are
stages one traverses as
one navigates his or her way back to normal. Well,
whatever the hell normal
means.
Loss and grief went on
for quite some time. Denial was hard to support as I
was completely cut off
from
different story.
Early June was a hot,
swampy bathroom of humidity. Inland
stagnant, almost holding
the squadrons of mosquitoes in place. I stayed
inside if I couldn't be
at the beach, as much as possible. I hid behind my
air-conditioning like a
all important Aegis1. Ryan had come over and was
watching a soccer match
on TV while I was folding laundry in the
bedroom. The strangeness
of realizing Ryan was more attracted to me then he
admitted was on my
mind. I smiled as I realized how easily
Ryan, with his
sporting persona and
masculine traits, might step into
could easily see
around him.
I was lost in this
fruitless and painful course of thought when there was a
knock on my door. I told
Ryan to sit down while I answered it. Standing
there full of apparent
rage and palpable anger was Nathan, the rotten
little homophobe who had
freaked out at Phil's party. The silence and pause
that followed seemed to
last ages as we stood staring at each other. In
that time, my mind raced
to link this angry, hostile kid, Austin's leaving
me, and the vicious rumor
that had preceded him to
that violent visage a
danger that he might try to hurt me. In slow motion,
I watched my hand fly out
and connect firmly on his solar plexus.
I watched almost from a
set of different eyes as he bent over, and I
grabbed him by his collar
and left arm and pivoted around while lifting him
slightly then drove my
leg between his legs with enough force to lift him
in a perfect shoulder
throw. In judo, this is called Uchi Mata, one of the
most spectacular and
devastating throws in the sport. The point is to throw
one's adversary in a
perfect arc over the thrower and force him to land
with an amazing amount of
force. In this case, on an end table that
shattered in a thunderous
explosion. His surprise was evident, and his
shock registered as I
went on autopilot and slid in behind him on the floor
and wrapped my arms
around his throat. Western wrestling calls this the
"sleeper." The
Japanese have perfected this move like everything else they
do and made it into a
lethal and nearly inescapable hold, which cuts off
blood to the brain by
squeezing the carotid arteries.
My brain had snapped.
This was the person responsible for all my pain and
everything bad that had
happened. Every iota of that anger and
fury
suddenly burst out of me
in this moment, and my brain watched as a detached
observer.
It might seem out of
character for me to explode with such violence and
power. I suppose there
has been little indication that I was capable of
such an act. Consider
this, though. Growing up as both small and gay, one
has few choices if one
wants to survive. A person can hide and cower and
hope to be overlooked,
one can buddy up with larger guys who will offer
protection or one can
learn to defend themselves. Guns are easier to learn
but harder to carry with
you everywhere. Martial arts offered both a strong
sense of confidence and a
way to ensure that I would not be a victim ever
again. Nathan was
certainly not going to victimize me any further.
"Jesus Christ, Alex. What the hell are you
doing?" Ryan screamed
as he ran into my living
room.
I quickly moved his body
so Nathan was shielding me with his flailing arms
and torso.
"He did it, Ryan. He told
he's gonna
pay!" I hissed behind Nathan's ear.
"Alex, you have to let him go. Alex, you won. You
proved your
point." Ryan was pleading as Mrs. Tremere rushed into
my doorway and saw
what was happening.
"Mon ami, tu as besoin d'arr괥r, tu as besoin de lui laisser Alex,
mon cher je t'en prie, ne
fait pas ceci. Alex je t'en prie, pour moi, ne le
fait pas? Laisse-lui mon
amour 1."
In that moment, Mrs.
Tremere was pleading with me in hysterical French,
which I understood no
better then I would Swahili, Nathan went
limp. Although I had
obviously never done this move to this point before, I
was told that death would
follow swiftly if he didn't get his blood flow
restored.
"Dude! He ... he's..." Ryan said stunned watching Nathan's body
slump. The telephone was
in his hand as he dialed 911.
Something finally brought
me back to earth, my eyes were my own once again
and the look on their
faces pierced through even my anger. I pulled my hand
back and flattened my
hand for an open hand blow and pounded it forcefully
into Nathan's spine. Ryan
dove at me to stop this action as Mrs. Tremere
screamed,
"Non!"
As soon as my palm hit
Nathan, he started to cough and act like a drowning
victim come back to life.
The place I hit him was a pressure point to
revive those knocked out
in chokeholds. But it looks like a killing blow if
you don't know what's
going on.
I let Nathan slide to the
ground and rest as I marched my fury filled body
to my room, saying to no
one in particular,
"I don't want to see that evil shit when I come out."
I had never been so angry
or focused in my life. All the anger from my
childhood of being
tortured by homophobes like Nathan had merged with the
realization of what I
assumed this evil kid had done. I was shaking from
the adrenaline and had to
be alone. Blind fury leaves a strong metallic
taste in your mouth, like
chewing on an iron fence.
I lay on my bed and
waited for the police to come. I was sure I was going
to be taken downtown. But
no one came, and my breathing finally returned to
normal. Eventually a
knock on my door preceded Phil coming in warily.
"Can I talk for a minute dude?" He asked calmly.
"Go for it."
I said from my barely contained hostility in my dark
room.
"Dude, it wasn't Nathan who told Austin. It was a
girl. I don't
know who, but ...Nathan
is here to explain all that. We calmed him down,
and he needs to talk to
you about something. You don't have to see him if
you don't want, but I
think you should dude."
"Are you telling me I almost killed ... I almost
killed him, and he
was innocent?" I said as I opened my eyes. Tears welled up,
and my
righteous anger turned to
a cold and palpable fear.
"Alex, dude, Nathan needs to ask you something. Pull
yourself
together and come on out,
OK?"
"Yeah ... I ... I ...Yeah, I'll be out in a minute
Phil. G-give me
a minute." I stammered.
Several minutes later,
after washing my face and pulling myself together, I
walked out to find
Nathan, Phil and Ryan sitting around one of
Mrs. Tremere's silver
trays filled with pastries that she had made.
I looked at Nathan, and
then lowered my eyes. I tried to apologize when
Phil spoke up.
"Go get a drink, and then come sit down."
So I grabbed a Pepsi and
went and sat down on the couch near Phil.
"Nathan, I am so sorry dude. I, I ..." I stuttered as I searched
for the right words.
"The truth is I saw you and ... I figured it had to
be you, and you
looked so angry I assumed
you'd come to do something to me. I-I I
snapped. But ... ohhh God
Nathan, Nathan, I'm I, I'm really sorry!"
I
pleaded with him.
"I'll get over it," He said with barely hidden
contempt as he
rubbed his throat
soothingly.
"I came here ta get ya ta stop Dennis."
Nathan said slowly trying
not to glare at me.
I looked at him confused
then turned to Phil before turning back.
"I don't understand. What're you talking
about?"
Nathan stared at the
floor a second before fixing me with his fiery eyes.
"Dennis filled mah
car with dog shit and fucked up mah paint with some
chemical. Yesterday he
fucked with mah house, and this afternoon ... dude,
he super glued all mah
windows and doors shut. He sent me dead squirrels in
the mail."
He paused a moment and
set his jaw in an angry glower.
"The cops say that unless someone sees him, they
can't do
anything."
I got a chill suddenly
and looked at Phil.
"I tried talking to Dennis yesterday, he said he had
to hear from
you before he'd stop.
Anyhow, I didn't see any harm in brining him
here. Maybe I shoulda
gone first though," Phil offered in retrospect as he
looked from Nathan to my
ruined table that had been cleared and stored in a
corner near my kitchen.
Nathan added through
clenched teeth,
"He's fucking with the wrong redneck!"
In truth, I think that
last comment was more bravado and anger then any
real threat. I doubted
Nathan could do anything to Dennis.
"I'll call him, and I'm sorry about your car. I, I,
I had no idea."
I stuttered.
I went to my room to call
Dennis and talk in private. When I came back, I
assured Nathan that the
harassment would stop.
"Dennis said he would stop and that he'd pay to get
your car
cleaned," I sat down
and could see how shaken up Nathan was.
"ah didn't tell nobody nuth'n 'bout Austin. What
y'all perverts do
ain't nunna mah
concern. Far as ahm concerned, he's
dead," Nathan said as
he got up to leave and
slammed my door on his way out.
After Nathan left, I sat
down and had a cheese croissant.
"So," I said to
Phil. "How do you know it was a girl, and what haven't you
told me?" I asked directly.
Phil and Ryan gave each
other conspiratorial looks like spies who'd been
caught.
"I called him the other day," Ryan offered
slowly.
My heart leapt for a
second. As I saw their faces, my heart went cold and I
felt my stomach knot up
and sink like an anchor.
"Well?"
I asked, resigned to the bad news I knew they had.
"Alex, we didn't talk too long. I just got a few
answers," Ryan
said softly.
"It wasn't Nathan, it was some girl from the same
sorority as
Phoebe who worked at
Disney who recognized him from UF and called
Phoebe. Apparently, she
made Austin prove it was all a joke by staying
close to her and staying
away from all the people down here she didn't
know. He misses you,
Alex. He made me promise to take care of you."
Ryan put his hand on my
shoulder. I sat for a second vacillating between
feeling sorry for him and
wanting to hold him and cold anger at him and
wanting to purge him from
my heart with an acetylene torch.
"Fine. He's made his choice, I can move on
now," I said in petulant
anger.
Ryan and Phil wanted to
talk to me about it, but I ignored them with the
stubborn energy of a mad
4-year old.
I had been hopelessly
depressed before. Now my sad tears had entered a cold
rage. God I'm a moody
bastard sometimes.
Several days later, I was
walking along Orange Avenue in Orlando with
Michael. Ostensibly I was
there to help him shop for clothing, a task I was
appointed to rather then
asked to perform. Unlike most gay men whose sense
of direction is
supplanted by a strong sense of fashion, Michael was born
devoid of anything
resembling a fashion sense. Thankfully he had a
remarkable sense of
direction and could change a flat tire without
assistance though, so he
was useful for those times a lesbian or straight
man wasn't around.
"Why the hell are we walking around Orange Avenue at
11 o'clock on
a Saturday morning?"
Michael asked since there were no actual clothing
stores in the area.
"We're killing time till noon when we will walk over
to Little
Saigon and have lunch,
then we'll go to the Florida Mall, OK?"
"I wanted sushi," Michael stated boldly.
I fixed Michael with a
glare I seldom used, which told him that not only
was he pushing me too far
on a Saturday morning, but also that I wasn't
going to let him win like
I normally did. I was never hard to read. My
emotions were written all
over me.
"Little
So we window-shopped and
explored the small stores leading up to Colonial
Drive and made our way to
Little Saigon.
"So are you feeling better yet, bitch?" Michael
asked.
"Somewhat. I'm more mad than anything else right now
to be honest,"
I said as I reached for
the front door to Little Saigon.
"Good. Does that mean I can stop pretending to like
you and start
making fun of you
again?"
I was about to answer
when Julie saw me and came over singing,
"Heeeeeelllllllllllo Alex, hellllllllo
Michael," Before hugging us
both.
She then stepped back and
looked from me to Michael quickly before scowling
at him and pointing a
small finger at him.
"I know what's happening with Alex, you be nice to
him Michael!"
She admonished sternly
but with that ever-present smile.
Michael shot me a sour
look, and I couldn't help but grinning back as she
sat us and handed us the
menus.
"You two are so bad! Nobody else understands your
game," Julie said
shaking her head.
"I come back with summer rolls for you two,"
Then she stopped,
looked at us a second
then took the menu's out of our hands.
"I don't know why I give you menu's, you always
order the same
things." Julie smiled and shook her head as she walked
away.
"You paid her to say that to me didn't
you?" Michael said trying
to suppress a grin.
"Be nice, or I'll start crying and tell her it was
you." I grinned
back.
Michael gave his sinister
scowl.
Lunch was wonderful, and
we had two Vietnamese coffees to finish the meal.
Think insanely sweet
Turkish coffee with a kick.
We chatted with Julie a
little more and paid our bill, left a great tip,
and walked out.
"Well, well. Looky what Rupaul dragged out!" a
voice called out
from behind us as Michael
and I left. I looked up at Michael and then over
to the guy who had called
it out. What I saw was a tall fashion
model
grinning at me.
"Jason?" I asked as I broke out in a smile and went up
and hugged
him.
"Thanks for calling me before you came down!"
Jason scolded me, a
hint of a grin sparkling
in his eyes.
"I, uhhhh, I didn't know I was gonna be here to be
honest."
"Care to join me for lunch?" Jason asked.
"I ... ummmm ..." I suddenly remembered Michael standing behind
me
when I saw Jason's eyes
dart up.
"Ohhh, Jason, this is Michael, my best friend.
Michael, this is
Jason. We met at that
dinner party Ryan took me to," I said.
Jason had on his
award-winning smile as he shook Michael's hand, and
Michael looked like a
deer in headlights. Good-looking guys sometimes had
that effect on Michael,
and Jason could have walked off any runway in
But it was fun to watch
the 6-foot-6 Michael drooling down at 6-4 Jason.
"So, would the two of you care to join me? I'm
starving," Jason
asked.
I was turning to ask
Michael, but even before I could, he started pushing
me toward the door. I
took that to mean yes.
"Well, we just ate to be honest, but what the
hell," I said as
Jason held the door and
we shuffled in.
"Oh my, one of you make new boyfriend so
quick!" Julie said,
almost laughing as she
walked up.
We had an interesting
lunch. Jason managed to relax Michael a little,
enough to at least speak
and make small talk. And Jason proved to be as
funny and amiable a guy
as he had been that night at the party. Not having
anything else on his
itinerary for the afternoon, he decided to accompany
us to the mall. I swear
it's genetic!
Although we were there
for Michael, each of us ended up acquiring piece
after of piece of attire.
Jason and I fed off each other as we critiqued
and gave our assessments
on certain outfits. While Michael was trying a few
of his pieces on in
Abercrombie and Fitch, I asked Jason something away
from the dressing room.
"Jason, next week is Michael's birthday party. Would
you like to
come? It's a surprise party, so please don't let
on."
"Abso-fucking-lutely. I never turn down a
party."
"Cool. Seeing as how he's left a foot of drool all
over the mall on
account of you."
Jason grinned and asked,
"So he's not normally soooo ..."
"Shy? Nooooo,
he's usually funny as hell and twice as witty.
He's
just off his game cause
of your looks."
Jason got a huge grin.
"What about you? My looks bothering you?" Jason
asked as he
pretended to look at a
pair of shorts.
"maybe a little," I said evenly.
"Guess I need to keep working on you then,
huh?" He said as he
nudged me into the shirt
display.
"Any reason you're trying? A guy like you has got to
have guys all
over the place," I
said as I nudged him back and he nearly fell into the
shorts he was looking at.
"There are a few guys I'm seeing I guess. But how
come the big guy
gets all quiet and his
little friend isn't even phased?"
Jason asked
teasingly.
I got a big grin and
pretended to peruse the ties.
"Well, which of them is the cute model following
around throwing
himself at?" I asked, barely suppressing a grin. I was
having
honest-to-god fun for the
first time in months. It felt good.
Jason laughed,
"Damn, you're one cocky little shit!"
"You got no idea!" Michael said as he exited his booth and
walked
up to us.
I ignored his comment and
said,
"Oh baby, those shorts are so not working with that
shirt. Try that
teal-striped shirt I
picked out for you earlier."
"Thanks Giorgio!" Michael scowled.
When Michael disappeared
in the dressing room again I turned to Jason and
said,
"It's amazing how much sarcasm they stuffed in that
boy."
"Does that mean you won't mind if I fuck with him a
little?" He
asked mischievously.
I laughed and hit the big
guy in the arm.
"Nooooo, be nice!" I paused for a moment picturing the abuse he
reighned on me usually.
"Mostly."
I added with a smirk.
In the end, Michael ended
up spending a great deal more money than he
usually did on these
outings, but Jason seduced him into a few really nice
outfits that looked great
on his tall frame.
At 6, we finally stopped
for dinner at one of those chains where they hang
crap, memorabilia, and
junk on every wall and the waiters are forced to
wear humiliating amounts
of buttons and decorations. But they served drinks
so ...
While we were eating and drinking,
Michael brought up the idea of going
out. As it was Saturday,
and Southern Nights was having its Lesbi-go-go
night, We opted for
Parliament House.
"Maybe Michael will get lucky and win Balcony
Bingo!" Jason
teased, though the fact
that only Michael was signaled out for this wasn't
lost on me.
To explain Balcony Bingo
requires an understanding of the Parliament
House. It isn't really a
bar or club, although it has both. It's a huge
complex consisting of a
large club, a theater, a country bar which isn't
attached, a swimming
pool, a back bar for the leather types, and a
two-story hotel. Balcony Bingo is simply taking a tour around
the rooms
and seeing if any of the
guests want to party. Plenty of shows were put on,
too ... slings ...
S&M ... orgies.
The place has new owners
who have cleaned the place up and made some
much-needed
improvements. They also ended balcony
bingo, so it's cruising
the complex as one does
in any other club now. Back then though, the
debauchery was tangible.
As we were much closer to
Michael's apartment, we decided to go there and
get cleaned up and take
only one vehicle to the club. We all picked out
what we wanted to wear
and tossed the new clothes in Michael's washer and
sat around drinking beers
and talking.
"Oh Jason," Michael blurted.
"Yeah?
"Make sure Alex gives you an invitation and
directions to my
surprise party next week,
She'll probably forget otherwise."
Michael said
in a patronizing voice
aimed at me.
"Sorry, Jason," I added without missing a beat.
"But it was canceled due to the fact that nobody
loves Michael and
I couldn't get anyone to
show, maybe we can get him drunk and drop him off
in a room at
Parliament." I taunted back.
"Bitch!"
Michael stated.
I got up to get another
round.
"You want a drink, dork wad?" I asked Michael.
"No, better not if I'm driving." He said half-heartedly.
So I got Jason and I
another round then went and put the clothes in the
dryer.
"So is Ron working?" I asked.
"Isn't Ron always working?" Michael scowled at me.
Ron was Michael's
roommate, a saucy guy with a permanent address on
Gay.com. A few minutes
later, Michael suggested we use Ron's bathroom and
start our showers now
since the clothing would be dry by the time we were
done. I suspected he also
wanted to see Jason walking around in his
Calvin's or a towel. I
have to admit, the idea was tenting my towel too.
Jason took the last
shower, and I ironed his shirt and pants as he
showered. I only got to
see a brief moment of his Calvin-clad bulge. He
caught me looking and got
a knowing half-smirk. Then he stepped in
the
bathroom door and
whistled to me, when I turned to see him he had dropped
everything but his
Calvins and posed for me. Damn, that guy
was so many
shades of fine!
Half an hour later, we
were ready to leave in Michael's car, since it was
the largest and it was
covered unlike my Jeep.
I sat in the back, (the
short guy always sits in the back seat) and we
listened to a mixed tape
of Amber and some other club hits that Jason
brought with him on the
way to Parliament House.
The Parliament House is a
very large complex with a large area for parking
both on site and in the
desolate downtown area that surrounds it. The
complex sits like an
oasis in a sprawl of decrepit buildings and old stores
that was probably
cutting-edge nouveau in the 1950s.
As soon as we got close,
the boom of the club started filling our veins and
altering the atmosphere.
One could see the physical change, we stood
taller, got that swing in
our step, and we strutted in like runway
models. Though only one
of us really could have been a model.
The place was hopping at
full capacity. It took forever to get to the bar,
but Jason was so damned
good-looking and Michael was so freaking tall, we
got drinks almost
immediately once we were there.
After half an hour of
posing and nodding to people we kinda knew, and an
hour and a half of
dancing, we watched the early drag show. Later we walked
around (and, yes, we
played balcony bingo, though mostly just to see what
was going on).
After another round of
drinks, Jason suggested going to the country/leather
bar, Fullmoon
Saloon. It wasn't my favorite place to
visit, as I didn't
care for country music,
but I'd downed enough Southern Comfort that I
really didn't care. We must have looked hysterical, Michael
towering at
6-6, Jason almost as tall
at 6-4 and me following after like a hobbit on
speed.
Several guys knew Jason,
mostly older ones which reminded me of his former
career. I noticed Michael
was getting quite lit. He was laughing
hysterically and the two
of them were holding each other up when we were
joking. I knew as soon as
Michael put his arm around me and started
laughing with me that
there was no way he was driving home. Michael and I
both tend to be
good-natured, funny drunks. He must have realized he was
getting drunk too, since
he physically put his keys in my pocket.
We went outside on their
deck and ordered more drinks there. Michael had
gone off to the bathroom
when this country song came on and several couples
flocked to the floor.
Before I knew it I found Jason putting my drink on
the counter and pulling
me over to the floor, too. He pulled me against him
and was rocking us
rhythmically to the music. My face was pressed into his
chest and, well, I just
followed and giggled a little. I must have been
drunk because I was sort
of dancing to country music. No one who knew me
would've believed I was
on the floor.
"This is one of my favorites," Jason yelled
down at me.
I nodded my head on his
chest and enjoyed the warmth and comfort of being
held.
A short time later,
Jason's right hand went from my shoulder down my back,
and when I thought it was
going to go over my jeans to my ass, I was very
surprised when his hand
weasled under my waistband instead. I gasped deeply
as his warm hand snaked
over my ass.
A second after Jason
worked his hand down my pants, he leaned over and
said,
"You ain't wearing any underwear!!!"
I turned into his face
and put my lips on his neck,
"Nope!" The next second, a long finger entered the
crevice in my ass
cheeks and was softly
dragged up the valley. I went weak for a second and
fell against him.
"Like that do ya?" Jason asked deeply from far above me. I
nodded
my head against him. I
was suddenly much more sober then I had been a
second before.
"I sure do like slow dancing," Jason's deep
voice said above me as
I was caressed by his
finger and held tightly against him.
I had passed quickly from
shock to confusion to full enjoyment of the
situation in less then a
minute, and when Jason lifted his large hand
slightly his finger
pressed tightly against my excited hole. If my eyes had
been open they would have
crossed. His other large hand spread out across
my back and rubbed me
tenderly. I lay against the built chest just drunk
enough to ignore
everything else but how good it felt.
I wanted to tell him how
good it felt, but the reality of bars is that a
guy his height couldn't
hear a guy my height unless he leaned over really
far or I screamed at him.
There were other ways Michael and I had devised
to communicate, but I
didn't want to put Jason in a submission hold and
there were no stools
around for me to stand on.
Jason was lifting his
hand just enough to cause me to tiptoe slightly and
enough to finally get his
finger where he'd wanted it all along. I moaned
into his chest and could
just hear him chuckle.
"Heeeeeeeeey Papi!!!!! Who's you friend
Yason?" This Hispanic
voice interrupted from
behind me.
I didn't move even though
Jason's finger was quickly removed and his hand
left my ass. Left it
wanting more, to be honest. I still stayed against his
chest.
"Oscar, my man! What brings you and Ricky to this
place? Aren't you
guys more into the
Southern Nights crowd?" Jason asked
in a slightly
slurred voice, it might
have hinted at being drunk and annoyed, but that
might just have been me
wanting to read my feelings into it.
"Ches, but not on
Saturday night. Ricky don' like the lezpian night. So,
who you' friend? Or do
jou know hees name yet?" Oscar
laughed.
"Oscar, Alex. Alex, Oscar, Oscar is a
fellow..." Jason searched
for a word before saying
with a wide grin,
"man whore."
I busted out laughing and
Jason joined in as Oscar became slightly
indignant.
"Oh no jou di'in!!!" Oscar shot as he fixed a venomous scowl on
Jason.
Jason and I laughed as
Oscar scowled.
"So, why jou paying Yason Alan? Jou's a cutie. An so
young." Oscar
asked me as he tried to
step between Jason and me. My mouth hung open, as
Oscar seemed to be almost
attacking me. Jason quickly stepped up and
wrapped his arm around
me.
"Actually Oscar, I'm paying Alex, He's got a few
talents you
wouldn't believe,"
Jason said as he closed his eyes and Shivered
dramatically.
Oscar's face changed from
angry and bitter to surprised and curious in a
millisecond.
"Oh jes? Wha' jou do?" Oscar asked me sweetly.
Before either of us could
come up with something, this older guy with the
worst toupee I'd ever
seen came up and put his arm around Oscar.
"Hi, baby."
He said as he kissed Oscar on the cheek from behind.
"Oh, hello
Jason," He said as he smiled at Jason and set his eyes on me.
"Hello baby."
Oscar said as he slid into Ricky's arms.
"Alan, dis ees Ricky, ees mi Papi!"
"Oscar, his name is Alex, not Alan," Jason said
as he shook Ricky's
hand.
"Hokay, what ever," Oscar said without any
embarrassment.
"Baby, I'm gonna geh another cocktail, jou wan
somethin?" Ricky
handed Oscar a $20 and
said he was fine.
Ricky was actually quite
well built, despite his hairpiece. He should have
just gone bald or worn a
hat. When Oscar came back I watched as he and
Ricky kissed and
entwined.
So Jason and I shook his
hand and they began talking when I suddenly
realized that Michael had
been gone for some time.
"Excuse me guys, someone I know has been gone for a
little too
long," I said as I
let my hand slide across Jason.
"Mebee ees geeting lucky? Jou jess gunna cock block
heem, Jes?"
Oscar said, approaching
me again.
"We came here together, I just need to know where he
is, I'll be
back" I reassured
him as I slipped into the stream of people that boiled
around our group.
I found Michael on the
other side of the deck talking with a friend he'd
gone to school with named
Blaine. I was walking up to say hi when I was
grabbed by a very drunk
Oscar.
"Why jou run away? I jess wanna know what jou do dat
make Yason so
happy," he slurred
as he got too close for my comfort.
"I was just going to see my ..." then a thought flashed in my
drunken mind.
"Pimp."
Then I waved at Michael and true to his irascible nature
he scowled at me and
called out,
"What the fuck you want HO?" He sneered menacingly at me as he
glowered.
"Oh shit, he's in a bad mood ... Ozwald, you should
leave, he gets
soooo mean when he
drinks!" I said intentionally
messing up Oscar's name.
"Bitch, did I say you could flirt?!?!?" Michael said as he rose
from his bar stool. He
was unwittingly acting perfect because Oscar simply
melted into the crowed
before Michael even got near me.
I jumped on the rungs of
a bar stool and kissed Michael on the lips.
"Michael, promise me that if that guy ever comes
near me again,
you'll get all postal on
him will you?" I asked. We both
started to laugh
and he landed up holding
me up as I fell against him laughing. We laughed
even harder when I
explained that I had told Oscar that Michael was my
mean, jealous pimp.
Michael, Blaine and I
laughed and were hugging all each other for support
as the beers, Southern
Comforts, and screwdrivers added up.
Jason showed up a few
minutes later and slipped an arm around me and kissed
me on the nose as he
indicated to the bartender that we needed another
round. We SOOOOOOO didn't
need another round, but by that point who was
making good decisions?
"Ya ready ta blow
thiz place sport?" Jason asked as
he gently pulled me
off my barstool.
"Ihz really crowded
t'night, how bout I do hahf t'night an dhe rezt
tomorrow?" I slurred as I started laughing at my own
drunken joke.
It took Michael and Jason
a minute before they caught it, but Michael
quickly volunteered to
help me.
As we stumbled towards
the car, Michael suddenly cursed.
"God damnit, I
lohst mhy keyz!"
This caused several
minutes of panic as we ran around to the bars searching
for the missing keys.
Finally I remembered what
had happened and stopped the other two.
"Ah've
got good newz an bad news
Michael."
Michael was clearly not
in a joking mood just then so I just continued, "Ah
know where yer keyz ar an
the're fahn, but we c'n't use em t'nite." Michael
just glared at me as I
held up his keys and jingled them.
"Mich'l, if we're zo drunk we c'n't rembemb where
dey wen', Ah don'
thing any uv uz should
drive."
I was bracing for a
barrage of verbal abuse but Michael just started to
turn red and then burst
out laughing.
"Lez wake Ron up an
make him come an git us," Michael said laughing
hysterically and holding
himself up on a pole outside the bar.
I started to laugh, too.
Ron was probably on a date and ... well ... we
were being evil drunks.
SENSIBLE evil drunks. Being sensible drunks, we did
the only thing possible
as we waited for Ron to come pick us up, we went
inside and had another
round.
Ron wasn't a happy
camper, not even a little bit as he pulled up in his
little white Geo. He
didn't say one word on the ride home despite our best
jokes and sincerest
efforts to make him smile. He must have
been in a bad
mood, he didn't even hit
on Jason.
At the apartment, he went
in to his room and closed the door quietly which
meant he had a guest.
Otherwise, he would have slammed it.
Michael reached in my
pockets and yanked his keys out as he went toward his
room "Ahm lockin mah
dohr in 10 minetz, if ya wan' a bed nstead ov a couch
ya beddeh ghet ridy
now."
He slurred before he
marched towards his door. At the last
second he
turned around with a
grin,
"'cept you Jaz'n.
You cahn tahke az lung az ya wan' baby."
I rolled my eyes at his
shameless flirting and Jason laughed. I was the
last into Michael's small
bathroom so the other two were in already in bed
giggling when I walked
into the dark room.
"Ah had a bad dream,
ah wanna sleep wit y'all tanight" I giggled as I
crawled up the center of
the bed and squeezed between the two giants.
After much giggling and a
little inappropriate touching, we all landed up
spooning each other,
Michael facing out, me behind him and Jason snuggled
behind me. I had my hand
draped over Michael and on impulse reached down to
see if my suspicion was
right.
"Dahddy, Mohmmy'z
got a hard on!" I complained in my
best little kid
voice.
Jason pressed up hard
against me until a definite protrusion poked me in
the butt and said,
"So does daddy
baby."
A second later a hand
reached around my waist and Jason said,
"Hmmmmmmm, So do you
Beaver."
Which made us all start
laughing. We got the giggles so bad Ron started
banging on the wall in
Michael's closet that separated their rooms.
"Shut the fuck
up!" He yelled. Which, naturally,
made us laugh harder. The
harder we tried to be
quiet the louder our laughing became.
Finally, the booze had its
sedative effect, and we got quiet. I had never
taken my hand off Michael
and just started to do what came naturally to me,
and the motion let Jason
know what we were doing so he reached his hand
down my boxers and
started jacking me gently. For the first time that
night, all three of us
were quiet. After several minutes, Michael started
to moan and suddenly he
reached down and took over for the last stretch.
Abruptly Michael
shuddered and gasped and began breathing heavy. A minute
later, he got out of bed
and grabbed a towel out of his closet and went to
his bathroom. As soon as
the shower started, Jason yanked my boxers off me
and climbed on top of me.
He kissed me and started to grind a very hard
cock into my thigh,
"How long d'ya thik he'll bhe in dhere?" Jason
whispered in my ear.
"Depends on if he
falls asleep in the shower," I bemused.
Jason put his mouth on my
ear and ran the tip of it smoothly around the
lobe. I moaned unbidden
and melted against him.
"Ah knew you were
gunna be a tactile guy." Jason
rasped in my ear before
sticking his tongue in
there.
My cock was doing all my
thinking for me at this moment. Well, my cock and
a butt load of beer and
Southern Comfort. I writhed till I was pressing my
ear against Jason's
tongue and my legs were wrapped tightly around his
waist.
"Ah knew ya'd be a
bottom, too," He said in my ear as a hand reached down
and caressed my ass and
thigh.
I'm not sure why, it was
probably my drinking my weight in booze, but I
moaned out, "but ...
I, I'm a top."
A second later, Jason
used his forearm to lift one leg even further as he
reached down and ran a
fingertip in small circles on my hole.
"Not tonight ya
aren't!" He said as he started
wiggling a finger up my
ass.
I moaned and buried my
face in his shoulder as he slid off of me and worked
his finger deeper.
Jason chuckled as he
worked his long finger in and found my spot.
"I'm
ready whenever you wanna
top," He teased as he got me groaning and writhing
on his finger.
While keeping his finger
firmly lodged, he sat up suddenly and reversed his
position. I lifted my
head to see what he was doing when his hips suddenly
brought Jason's cock to
my lips. It was at this time I felt a warm set of
lips slide over my cock.
When I opened my mouth to moan, a skilled set of
hips filled my mouth with
an 8-inch cut cock.
After a few minutes of
exceedingly talented oral stimulation, Jason worked
a second spit-lubed
finger inside me and used his other hand to cup and
play with my balls.
I was nowhere near as
talented as Jason. I guessed doing this for a living
necessitates being better
then most. But I was totally into everything
happening and really
wasn't thinking much.
I gave his cock as good
as I could, though, and used my hands to caress his
ass and sides. After a
few glorious minutes of intense probing and sucking,
I felt my nuts tighten. I
tried to tell him, but his hips kept gyrating his
cock into my mouth. A
minute later, I exploded into a wondrously talented
mouth and felt my ass
squeezing his fingers.
Despite the booze, I had
a mind numbing, ball busting intense ejaculation.
I would have paused a few
seconds, but I was being gently
mouth-fucked. Unless I
wanted to throw him off, I had no option but to lay
there and make sure to
keep my teeth away from him.
As I was preparing for
him to reach the final stretch, I began thinking
about how casually he'd
swallowed my cum. I was a little unnerved by it. I
decided that even though
it would be a nice thing to do, it wouldn't be the
smartest or healthiest.
So when the time came and rhythm picked up and his
balls got tight, I rolled
him off me onto his side, I then reached up and
jacked him firmly until
he exploded all over my face. I saw that as a good
compromise as I licked
and sucked his balls the whole time.
After a few deep breathes
to recover, Jason reached down and pulled me on
top of him so we were
face to face. Then he moved in as if he
wanted to
kiss, instead a tongue
came out and he began licking my face clean.
Afterwards, we kissed a
little in silence.
"What the hell is
taking Michael so long?" I wondered
out loud.
"He was done about
30 seconds after I climbed on top of you. He walked out,
saw us and went to the
living room I guess." Jason said as
he kissed me on
the lips. What I had done
and what Michael had seen suddenly hit me. I felt
profoundly guilty and
deeply ashamed all of a sudden.
Jason obviously didn't
feel any of this and scooped me up and spooned me
tightly as we went to
sleep.
I lay there and waited
for Michael to return, but he never came back in the
room. As I lay there, I
thought about what had just happened and why. Was
this proof I was getting
over Austin, was it cheating? It felt a
lot like
cheating.
Was it cheating on Ryan?
Clearly, Ryan wanted something more. But with his
Michael, what could
really happen? And what about Jason? Did he want more?
Was this just drunken
fun?
I hated it when the buzz
was gone. It was nearly sunlight when I dozed off.
I awoke several hours
later when I heard banging in the kitchen and smelled
coffee. Michael wasn't
much of a cook, but he made damned good coffee.
And
his eggs and toast were
definitely a palatable idea right now.
At first I didn't want to
face him but finally the draw of coffee drew me
to my feet and I dressed
quickly and exited the room as quietly as I could.
Michael turned and fixed
me with a cold unemotional stare. He approached me
and handed me a cup and
walked past without saying a word.
After sitting in silence
for 20 minutes, feeling an ocean of dread and
knowing that what I had
done was beyond tacky, I finally said, "Michael,
I'm so sorry, hon. I
didn't mean to chase you out of your room."
Michael didn't say a
word. He just retrieved his carafe and walked around
to fill up my cup.
He sat down and took a
sip finally then looked up at me and said,
"Whatever, bitch.
Next time, I get to be the beaver."
(French Translation)