When I got home the next day my answering machine was buzzing
Like a Bee hive with cell phones. I must
have had 25 calls from various partygoers who wanted to know what had
happened. I shook my head at most of the
messages, laughing to myself as I realized that straight men could be just as
bad as women or gay men when it came to gossip.
Towards the end of the messages, my phone rang and it was
Phil wanting to know how Austin and I had gotten along. I was about to play indignant when he added,
"Alex, he
wouldn't leave me alone about getting your number yesterday... Not sure what's
going on dude, but I guess he's lucky it's you he's... well, whatever it is
that's going through in his mind."
I was quiet for a second a little stunned but had to ask,
"Phil? Dude? Are you fucking with me Man?" I asked slowly.
"Nah dude. After
he woke and got cleaned up he sat down with me and wanted me to fill in what
had happened the night before, and if he
remembered
correctly that you'd given him a bath."
"And???" I
asked
"And I told
him everything; especially that he'd been hanging off you a good portion of the
evening. I also said that you'd been a
perfect gentleman and that you'd used a rubber every time you fucked him"
I almost fell over when he said it, but I could hear his grin
spreading
from ear to ear.
"Ya know, you are really lucky
that I'm gay..."
"Why, you wanna hit me or
something?" Phil asked teasingly...
"Nah, cause you know how much we love assholes!"
Phil and I chuckled and bantered a bit till my call waiting
interrupted us. I told Phil I would be right back.
"Hello?"
"Hey you
didn't call me so I wanted to make sure that you weren't giving me a dud blow
off number."
"
So I told Phil I'd call him later and that
"Aaauuuustin, `sup dude?"
I asked as I clicked back over. The smile that wrapped around my face must
have been contagious cause I could hear in
"Nada,
school and shit...Hey man, you got any plans this weekend?" he asked me.
"N-no, not
really." I answered, "Why, whazzup?"
"Not much, I
was thinking of maybe skipping out on the frat and coming back this weekend." I wasn't sure how happy I was `allowed' to
be, so I played it cool.
"That'd be
great dude; Dan's having a kegger at his house... I
think my `beer wench' costume is finally dry after our shower."
He laughed.
"Hmmm, well,
that'd be cool too... I might have another party lined up though... Listen, I gotta go, just make sure you keep this weekend open."
"Sure dude,
you're the boss." I had a suspicion he'd eat that one up.
"Damn
straight I am!!!"
"Sweet cheeks,
even for you I couldn't be damn straight..."
"Dude,
I may have been drunk, but don't think for a second that I don't remember
winning you! And if I want you to be straight, you're gonna
have get out of the high heels and tough it up!"
"Sugar,
if I'd been straight, you'd have woken up on the bathroom floor wearing all
your vomit from the night before..."
He was quiet for a moment before adding,
"Hmmmm, Yeah, Ya got me there I guess... Well then, fag
on!"
We chatted a little longer and he told me he was bringing me
a tape he'd made of some of the cool college bands he'd seen. Then, after a pause he added hesitantly,
"Right...Ummm... Oh, and Alex, .
. . "
"Yeah
Austin?"
"Could you
do me a favor and not mention my coming in to anyone?"
"Uuuuhhhh sure, but why?"
Austin was quiet
for a second before saying, "It's a secret... and if I told you, I'd have
to kill you."
"Hmmm, that
would ruin all my devious plans... can't have
that... OKAY . . .
. Your secret's safe."
"Cool, I'll
call you on Thursday and finalize plans then," he said cheerfully.
"I'll be
here," I remarked.
Then we hung up.
I proceeded to do my happy dance all over the
apartment before calling Michael back and telling him. He lived in Orlando so I figured it was
safe. Michael was jealous as hell and
did nothing but curse me over and over.
As if I weren't
having enough problems trying to figure out what kind
of game Austin was playing with me, on Wednesday he sent me
an email with a very hot picture of him on the baseball field wearing his
uniform pants, sweating with no shirt on. He wore his cap on backwards with a
huge dimpled grin.
I should say here
that I have a serious weakness when it comes to
backwards hats. I won't even try to explain it here, but turn
a baseball cap around on a guy's head and he can shoot up 5 points on a 10
point scale...
Anyways, the
inscription on the picture said was `Here, after all you did for me, I think I
owe you this at least.' I printed the picture out and framed it and hung it in
my bedroom where it remains to this day.
My ability to read people was generally regarded as uncanny,
but I was
soooo wrapped up
in this guy I couldn't even determine whether he was
teasing me or just being nice. My instincts told me to keep all the
information about Austin to myself and not say anything to
anyone. It was hard but I only had one
more day really.
Thursday
afternoon I couldn't wait to get home, I flew out of the
office and practically clawed my way through traffic. I actually made it home 10 minutes earlier
than I usually do. So I waited...,
waited..., paced..., tried to read..., and waited... and each time the phone
rang I grabbed it up and forced myself to sound cool...But Austin didn't call.
I had his number
out and almost dialed it a hundred times... but
something made me stop.
Would it have given something away if he'd known how desperately I
wanted to talk with him? I don't know,
but I went to bed early and took a few tranquilizers I'd been saving to ease me
off to sleep... I was seriously bummed.
Friday dragged
and all I could do was wonder what was going through Austin's mind... Had he
freaked out? Had he just forgotten? Had it been a crewel game? It's hard to do menial work when depression
is scratching at your skull trying to get in.
I went home
trying to figure out if I were going to head over to
Phil's or just watch tv and get to
bed early. I went inside my apartment
fed my fish and sat down and watched them.
They weren't as warm and friendly as a dog, but they were the only pets
I was allowed.
I shucked my7
work pants and shirt in lieu of sweats and an old tee shirt. I went and warmed up some left over chicken
for dinner and was about to sit down and eat when the doorbell rang. Unsure of whom it could be at this time, I
stumbled over and opened the door and was totally unprepared for a madly
grinning Austin carrying a 6 pack of Heineken and a large pizza.
"Surprise!!!" He said
as he walked past me right into my apartment.
"Nice
place," He added as he laid the food and brews on my table and looked
around.
"But I guess
guy guys are kinda expected to keep up a certain
standard huh?"
His gorgeous blues melted any protest or qualm I might have
had. Like the sun breaking through a
cloudy, raining morning, his face evaporated any kind of protest I might have
had.
"Umm...
HI," I said closing the door.
"Please, come in."
I gestured grandly and melodramatically. I wanted sooo badly
to grab
Austin around his huge shoulders and pull him to a huge kiss!
Inconveniently, my intuition told me this was a bad idea.
Austin looked at my wrinkled old sweats and said,
"But I
thought gay guys were supposed to wear name brands all thetime
and look like supermodels"
I gave him an off hand look and said, "You straight guys
are so behind the times. Wrinkled and frumpy is the new black this year. BUT
only for house parties and guests."
He laughed and said how glad he was to be caught in style
then.
As I went to the
kitchen for plates and frosted mugs, Austin was
already shuffling through my cd
collection.
"Nine inch Nails,
Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy, Nirvana, Collective
Soul, good stuff dude!!!
OH MAN PETER MURPHY! Not what I would have
expected."
"Well thanks
Austin," I said as I walked in the room,
"But just so
you know, the Erasure, Abba, and Pet Shop Boys are in the bedroom."
Austin started to laugh so hard that I rushed over to keep
him from falling into my stereo equipment.
"That was
good dude..." he said as he slapped me on the back.
I grinned,
"I was
serious dude!"
He made a screwy face at me then laughed again,
"Well, don't
tell anyone but I own the grease soundtrack."
I handed him his mug of beer and simply said,
"Fag!"
As we sat and ate and drank, Austin said he had two tickets
to this
mega-rave being thrown nearby at an old airplane hanger. I hadn't been to a rave in several years and
felt a little tentative about it. I mean, I was 26. Most of the "kids" there would be
even younger than Austin... Well, it had been that way at the last few Raves
anyhow... Then Austin got a huge grin
and waved some aluminum foil under my nose.
"I also got
two hits of X for tonight."
I had to stop and look at him for a second... I hadn't even
smoked pot in ages, and I'd never done x before... But the eager look on his face
melted any qualms of mine.
"You're the
boss big guy!" I said with as
little reservation as I could.
"Look Alex,
I know you said you never tried this before, but I really think you'll like
it...and I'll be there, you'll be ok.
Come on, an entire generation can't be wrong!"
I thought for a moment of the belief that the world was flat
and any number of fashion fauxpaux from the
seventies. But I decided to ride his
enthusiasm and trust him. As I glanced
at his eyes, I suddenly understood the word swoon.
So we ate pizza, I pretended to know a lot more about
baseball as he told me about his week, and at 8pm he said it was time to think
about going to the rave. I told him I
wasn't going anywhere till I changed.
Austin looked at me with a screwed up expression,
"Dude, this
is a rave, sequins and shiny tight shirts aren't
required."
I stepped up to him and looked him up and down then reached
out and tugged at his shirt,
"Oh, is this
a mustard and pizza sauce event?"
I asked smiling at him. He looked down sheepishly and broke
into a face
full of dimples.
"Oh,"
he laughed, "Guess I should change a little too"
I flattened my hand out on his chest and tapped his pecks
with my fingers,
"Hmmm, you
think?"
Austin responded by stepping up to me so that his chest was
right in my
face. His stance was one that typically means aggression.
"Got kinda of a smart mouth on you bitch!" He said
menacingly.
I stepped back fearing I'd pushed him too far maybe.
"Dude," he laughed as he pulled me against him in a
straight boy one armed hug.
"Relax
dude. I'd never hurt you. And come on, It takes a hellava
lot more to piss me off then a snappy dis."
That said and cleared up, I asked if he needed something to
wear.
"No, I'll
just bring up my bag and get something out."
Then he stopped and turned around grinning,
"And
WHAT the hell would you have that would fit me anyways???"
He said with a funny expression on his face. I smirked evily at
him,
"Well,
I have this tight little spandex tee, It would look AWESOME stretched out over
your chest..."
"Perv!"
"Tease!"
He laughed and shook his head as he walked over to my door
and made sure it wasn't locked. That kind
of action might have been audacious-might have even seemed a tad pushy... from
someone else.
So I went
and put on an old black t-shirt and some moderately
ripped jeans. (HEY! It was the mid 90s!) I put on my silver
Ankh and a few rings. OK, I doubled up
on the deodorant and brushed my teeth too-I am gay after all. So I walked out just as Austin was pulling up
his jeans and said,
"Baby,
Please, don't rush on my account."
Austin looked over his shoulder and said, "Bitch, like
you haven't seen it all already anyhow!"
"Mmm, But I like watch'n it moving
under it's own powa," I said in my best sista vernacular.
As Austin
fastened his jeans, I noticed that not only had his shirt changed to a nice
slightly tight faded red jersey, but also his faded jeans were quite a bit more
ripped and revealing then mine. The left
ass was so ripped I could see his blue boxer shorts underneath.
"Mmmm, very nice" I said as I took in the whole
picture. He wore a red Abercrombie and
Fitch cap backwards; the faded shirt had a few small holes in it, and rode up
when he stretched out his arms to reveal a god-like six-pack with a flawless
treasure trail.
His ripped to
shreds jeans rode low on his hips and had holes big
enough for me to stick a hand through. I shelved that thought for the time being,
when Austin caught me looking. He
grinned and put his arms out palms up for me to inspect.
"This
better then the pizza stains?" He
asked rhetorically. I made a show of
slowly inspecting him; walking around him and gently walked up and once again
put my hand out as if I was going to remark on his shirt. This time however I
tweaked his right nipple gently as I looked up into his eyes with a little
smirk on my face,
"Yeah, it'll
do."
As I got ready to
leave and had the door open, Austin said, "OH, Wait a second..." And
he darted off into my bedroom. I was about to follow him in and see what he was
looking for when he came out waving a cd in the air.
"Erasure!"
He said grinning
as he walked out in front of me. His
habit of
taking liberties was either going to prove his downfall or
cause me some even more serious emotional problems than I was already having
concerning him.
We took his Grey Dart,
and listened to Erasure at very loud volume down some old country roads as we
hit the `outback' of Volusia County. Our
conversation mostly consisted of me asking questions about Ecstasy and him
giving youthful, over eager responses as if he were afraid I might back
out.
The truth
is, he was the sort of guy that could get a person to do something they never
thought themselves possible of? Like
those stupid movies where everyone goes "that would so never
happen!!!!" Well if Austin was the
one who showed up with the dead body and asking if he could borrow your
freezer, trust me, you'd help and then take the blame just because he smiled at
you.
This wasn't
the biggest Rave I'd ever seen, the parking was sparse, but it was early I
guessed. As we walked up Austin played
with the `tickets'. I'd never been to an
exclusive rave before, but then I wasn't a star athlete either. We got to the entrance and this smiling girl
took the tickets, gave us some glow sticks and wished us both an enthusiastic
and sincere good time.
The inside was
done up more like a school cafeteria at prom then a typical industrial
rave. Lots of handmade decorations,
stars, and moons, and planets hung on the walls alongside the black lights and
strobes.
As we walked up
to the makeshift bar, I ordered us both beers.
The guy on the other side told me all they had was water and soda. Austin told me to get water for now. "You'll wanna
drink a lot tonight, trust me."
So I ordered two
waters and we went to a corner and sat on a long
bench and Austin turned to face me and pulled me around to
face him. "Here, stick out your tongue tiger," He said as he unfolded
his foil. After giving me my sacraments,
he took his and tossed the foil into a large metal barrel.
Forty-five minutes later I was dancing on the
floor near Austin. I grinned up at him a
lot, and he gave me these halfhearted "disinterested" smirks. The music was awesome and both he and I had
taken out shirts off.
Not that I was
paying much attention to anyone else, I did notice
that we were getting more then our share of interested
glances from other guys. All of a
sudden, a club mix of `connected' by mc stereo came on and I went wild.
I looked up at
one point to see Austin trying to keep up with
me... GOD he looked hot!
All I wanted to do was fall in his arms.
Fortunately the music wouldn't let me stop. When the song ended, I bounced off the floor
for some more water and Austin followed.
The bartended
handed me the waters. Austin put his arm
around my
shoulder and steered me outside to this covered deck where
they were
playing this new age stuff, which was MUCH easier to talk
over. Even out here, Austin kept his arm
draped around me, much as he had at the party we'd met at.
When we talked, he'd lean over and speak in
my ear, and when I wanted to reply he'd lean over and put his head next to my
lips. This was all feeling so natural.
Hell, I felt great! As if reading my
mind Austin leaned over and asked,
"How ya feeling
buddy?"
I grinned up at him and leaned into his arms more.
"Dude, I
feel awesome!!!"
Austin then took out another foil package and told me to
stick out my
tongue again. Not
thinking I asked
"WHY?"
He put his lips right next to my ear and said in a slow
southern drawl,
"Cause
you're my bitch and I said so darl'n"
I was so fuckn' hard I couldn't even stand up straight. Slowly I let my head tilt back till I was
looking up at his impossibly blue eyes.
He smiled and put his finger up to my lips. Without thinking I licked his finger and
slowly sucked it into my mouth.
He took a deep
breath in surprise and let it out slowly.
As I took his finger into my mouth, I felt a shiver go through his
body... We were the only two people there for a few short moments. I realized that he'd given me a second hit of
X, but the important thing was that I was sucking his fingers and he wasn't
freaking on me, even if it was only his rather long beefy finger.
I had him all the
way to the knuckle when I realized someone was
talking to me and calling my name. I looked over and as Austin ripped his finger
from my mouth I tried to remember where I knew the girl and her two friends
from.
"It's me Gena. Robert, David,
and I met you at that bar in Daytona two
weeks ago."
I remembered now,
nice guys, and I'd actually known Robert for quite a while now as we'd tricked
a few times.
"Ummm, yeah, Gena, Robert, David,
HI... this is Austin."
Austin wiped his finger
on his pants to dry it before sticking out his hand to shake. David practically tripped over his tongue as
he ogled Austin. Robert was reserved and
I could see jealousy, as he had been the only alpha around last week. I had tried to score with him even as poor
David sat there watching.
In his typical
manner, Austin just told them it was nice to meet
them, wrapped his arm around me further, and led me
away. I said good bye as I was escorted
away.
"Man, did
you see the way she kept looking at my eyes and grinning," he asked.?
Actually I hadn't and told him so.
"She knows
we're rolling. She is too, not those
guys though."
"Dude, this
doesn't feel like being stoned at all... man I could
dance all night," I said, as we walked to a fence near
by.!
"Yeah, it's
cool isn't it? There's some other things
that are pretty fun to do when you roll too."
He whispered in my ear, making me even harder.
"Like
what" I asked innocently.
"Well, I
know for a fact that sex is like 1000 times better on x"
"Really?" I ask with a smirk.
"Ohhh yeeaahh," Austin
drawled with a deeply dimpled grin.
"Fact is, I'm going to be getting a nice long hummer
later on tonight."
"Oh
yeah," I asked? "You got this lined up already?"
I was worried he might have been preparing me for a brush off
later. Man, I was so scared suddenly.
"Oh
yeah." He says, "had this one lined up for almost a week now."
When Austin saw the worried look on my face he lit up and
laughed before adding,
"Had this
brazen young thing tell me at this party I was at, that she was getting me
drunk so I'd take make a move on her."
I caught on finally and chuckled.
"Dude, you musta been drunk, that was so no girl!"
He was almost
laughing out loud as I added, "Fact, I believe that
what was said was ""I'm not getting you drunk to
take advantage of you, I'm getting you drunk so you'll take advantage of
me."" Least, that's how I
recall it.
Austin tightened
his grip on me and leaned his head on mine so it was resting against my face
with his lips pressed to my ear and giggled, "bet you I'm still gonna get a blow job regardless!"
Trying to
suppress a moan, I slid the hand that had been around
Austin's waist, to his ass so that it could wiggle inside the
huge hole
where his pocket used to be.
MAN did he have a nice firm ass.
As I snuck my hand into his boxers and cupped his world class ass, I
leaned into his shoulder with my head and looked up at his face, grinning away
as I groped his ass.
"I would
have to say Austin, that there is an excellent chance thatyou
could receive any manner of sexual relief you wanted."
A second later I felt fingers poking at the little rips in my
jeans and
Austin asked,
"You feel
like dancing anymore?"
"Kinda, but If you wanna leave, I
g-guess we could entertain
ourselves."
"Are you
sure you aren't trying to take advantage of me?" Austin said with a leer.
"Dude,
YOU'RE the one who got me fucked up this time... OH MY GOD, You ARE planning on
taking advantage of me!!!!" I gasped in mock
surprise. Then paused before adding, "Aren't
you????"
Austin spun
around so we were facing each other just out of light
range from the deck. This
time when he grabbed my ass he lifted me so we were face to face, really for
the first time ever.
"As long as
I don't hear any pussy ass objections I might," he said with a pretend
sneer.
"No
objections here sir," I said as our eyes locked and our smiles turned into
something soft and dangerous. Our faces got a little closer.
"Good!"
he whispered. Before adding quietly,
"I-I've
never done this before Alex."
I smiled briefly then said, "Good!"
This first kiss
was soft and tentative at first. Gossamer brushes of
lips and nose against one another. My arms came up to wrap around Austin's thick
neck and pull our faces together. This
felt so right and so natural. The tentative kiss started like a gentle day at
the beach and ended up a tsunami of lips, tongues, and hands.
A couple of minutes later Austin pulled our faces apart,
"Alex, m-maybe we should go back in for a little while?" He asked a
little unsure of
himself. I licked his sweaty neck with the tip of my tongue and
ended up by his ear,
"Hmmm, I was
thinking maybe we could go back to my apartment... up to you though
gorgeous" I whispered in his ear.
Austin was quiet for a second before moaning loudly,
"AaaAAAANNNOOOOOOOGHGHGHGH!!!!! MAN!!! What the fuck are you doing to me
Alex?????" He released his hands so I was set back on the ground.
"Do you
remember like a week ago when I was freaked out when you put your hands on
me??? NOW here I am inviting you to a rave where I KNOW there are going to be a
gays all over the place... What the FUCK
Dude???!!!!"
Obviously Austin
was distressed, at least in his mind. His hard on spoke as loudly as mine about
what he wanted. His pain and confusion
were tangible though, and I couldn't leave anyone like that; even if the person
hadn't had a face and body like Austin's. And let's be real, I had begun to
fall big time for him, face, body, boyish charm, even his self assured
arrogance.
"Dude, it
seems to me that you're just interested in… experimenting a little . . .
doesn't necessarily have to mean
anything. I thought this might have been a little rushed for
you, but to be honest, I can't say that what we're doing surprises me. I had a
feeling we might, uh, `Experiment' at some point," I said calmly and while
holding his huge hand.
Austin looked me
right in the eyes searching for a second, "W-w-what ever happens, I-I-I
want you to know that I'm not gay..."
I smiled and let
my intuition take over at what I could feel was a pivotal point, "I know
Austin, I never believed for a second you were gay."
I didn't even
dare approach the subject of bisexuality at this
time... He needed to
feel some level of safety.
"It's not
like a guy's never hit on me before you know?" he said
softly. "But, I don't know... you're different! I mean, when I accused you of getting me
drunk to take advantage of me, and you said, `wrong, you were getting me drunk
so I would take advantage of you' Dude, I threw such a fucking bone!!!"
He hung his head and shook it gently side to side. Slowly he lifted it and looked me in the
eyes,
"Since I
woke up in Phil's bed, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."