athletic hunk in a tank
wearing a backwards hat driving a Jeep, I don't
think I could take the
shock of it.
We had agreed that since
so many people there knew about "us," we'd just
take one vehicle and walk
in together.
suggested he carry me in,
newlywed-style.
We walked in about
hellos to the regulars, I
saw Phil making a funny face at me and mouthing
something. The next thing
I knew, a guy walked up and shook
"Nathan? Uhhh,
Hi"
"Hey there, ya
asshole," Nathan said in a deep Southern accent.
"Called ya
yesterday, and yur roommate said you was coming back here for
the weekend. But yur mom
didn't know nothin' about it. So ah came here
cause ah knew ya couldn't
pass up a party," he laughed and slapped a
visibly shaken
As much as I wanted to
stay and watch, I was swept toward the backyard. I
wasn't even wielding my
guitar yet. I finally mumbled that I needed my
guitar and made a break
for the front room. As I approached, I heard Nathan
very clearly.
"Dude, why the hell
are ya hanging around with that fag?" Nathan joked with
a very pale
"He's not a fag,
Nathan."
The denial stung like a
wasp. I turned, went in the kitchen and left
through the side door. I
walked over to my Jeep, grabbed my guitar,
returned through the side
door and walked directly out back. Regardless of
our plan, I started to
drink, and I was on my third beer when
over and nudged me. I
ignored him and took another swig.
"What the hell's
with you?"
I turned and took another
swig before catching his eyes and saying, in as
bitchy a tone as I could
muster, "Nothing you need to worry about!" Then I
turned around and left.
"Hey, I don't know
what I did," he said. "If it was Nathan, I think he's
got a better idea now of
what's going on."
"Yeah, You're
straight. I'm straight. What? I just happen to make a better
breakfast than your
mother?" I stated as I walked towards the backyard.
threatened him as he
carried me through a crowded living room, down a
hallway and into the
guest room, where he asked Glen and Jennifer to let us
speak privately for a few
minutes.
She smoothed out her
dress, and he went all blushes and said hi to each of
us as he slipped past.
don't want to hurt
you!"
"You already have,
Sunshine!" I said to his face.
"How?" he
demanded. "I don't know what I did. Christ, you're as bad as a
damned girl!!!" He
spun around, looking up at the ceiling.
"When your friend
asked why you were hanging out with the fag, you told him
I wasn't gay. Like you're
ashamed of me. OK, deny it about yourself because
maybe you aren't. But I
am, and I am not going to go back in the closet,
even for you."
"I never said you
were straight. Who told you that?"
"I heard you with my
very own ears. You said, 'He isn't gay.'" I mocked his
voice.
His face was quizzical
for a second before he finally broke into a big
grin. "And you
walked out as soon as you heard that?"
I just held his gaze,
then finally said "Yeah!" It had begun to dawn on me
that I might be wrong
about something. That there was a chance I didn't
have all the facts yet.
"Baby, what I said
was, 'He isn't a fag' Then I grabbed his shirt to let
him know I meant business
and added, 'He's gay. Learn the difference!'"
stammered for something
to say.
"I'm waiting,"
he taunted.
"I-I-I'm so
sorry" I pleaded as I looked at our feet.
"And???" he
asked.
I looked up at him, still
blushing and feeling ashamed. "And ... I should
have trusted you... You
gave me a chance last night when you thought I'd
told people about
you."
I went over and hugged
him tightly. A few seconds later, I was lifted to
his face. My head moved
to the side instinctively for the kiss I knew was
coming. When it didn't, I opened my eyes to see a
huge grin on his face as
he looked down his nose
at me.
"God you're an easy
bitch ..." he teased me.
"Sue me. I have a
thing for a big, badly dressed doofus. Now are you gonna
kiss me or what?" I
asked as I tried to move my head toward his to catch
his lips.
arch my neck. He giggled
as he teased me.
"Doofus huh???"
he said, wiggling his fingers on my sides slightly causing
me to spaz out.
"And wait a second,
you picked all my clothing out. So if I'm dressed bad,
it's your fault, my
little faggy friend."
Seeing the look in my
eyes he quickly added, "Wait a second. Before you
knee me like a bitch in
heat, listen. If I'm bisexual, that makes me half
fag, and since I'm twice
as big as you, that means we have the same amount
of fag in us, so I can
use the word 'fag' anytime I want now. Fag, Fag," he
then moved his face in
and kissed me briefly.
Then he added
"Fag," followed by a kiss. "Fag," followed by another
kiss. "Faggot,"
followed by a long kiss.
Neither of us realized
the had door opened and someone had walked into the
room.
"Jesus fucking
Christ, I wouldn'ta believed it if I hadn't seen it with my
own eyes. Austin Camble's
a fucking fag," Nathan almost hissed at us.
we'd been doing.
"As usual Nathan,
you're only half right. Alex is gay. You already knew
that. I'm bisexual. So that only makes me half gay.
And if you keep
calling us fags, I'm
gunna hold you down and let Alex fuck you till your
eyes bug out."
As funny as that thought
was, I was more worried about Nathan spreading
this news about
incredibly proud of him,
so I wiggled my way down and took a step toward
Nathan.
"Listen. No one is
gonna do anything to you, but I would like to talk to
you," I said as
sincerely as I could.
"Fuck that!"
Nathan spat out. He was making for the door when Glen and Dan
came in and blocked his
way out.
"What the hell's
going on in here?" Dan asked as Glen looked from
me to Nathan.
Nathan was very much a
redneck. Maybe he came from more money then the
average redneck, but his
politics and views firmly held him to that camp.
Unfortunately for him, he
was my height (5-foot-7) and only outweighed me
by 20 pounds... Not
nearly as big as any of the 6-foot monsters in this
room.
He tried walking out when
I said, "Wait Nathan, please. I really need to
talk To you."'
Glen grabbed Nathan and
spun him around quickly. "He asked you 'please.'"
"Very nicely,
too," Dan added as he moved to block the doorway.
"All you fucking
faggots better get out of my way now. I mean it!" Nathan
snarled.
With all the yelling,
more and more people gathered in the doorway,
Finally, I looked at
"All right. Would
everyone who knows about Austin and I please come in the
room," I said loudly
as Nathan tried once again to swim against the crowd.
Dennis finally walked in
and stood directly in his way. He was a big
bodybuilder who found out
he liked going to gay bars because he could dance
and be himself without
getting in fights all the time.
Dennis had been in so
many fights that his cousin, a paramedic, had given
him his own suture gun
for all the little cuts. He was a wonderful guy,
funny and pretty good
looking. We'd always gotten along great. At 6-2 and
240 pounds, with a chest
like a tank and massive arms that were too big for
sleeves, not even a
homophobic redneck was going to argue with him.
"Yeah, waddaya want?"
Dennis asked in his friendly baritone voice.
"OK. Apparently last
night, Austin and I were overheard in some
conversation, and then
people started to gossip about us after we left." I
said, taking out the
papers that I had folded in my pocket and passing them
out.
I'd made 20 copies of
each of the three pages and stapled them together.
When people started to
open them, a wave of shock and revulsion swept over
the room.
"The first picture
is a gay man from
baseball league. When his
teammates discovered that he was gay, that's what
they did to him with
baseball bats. He died within minutes of having his
head cracked open. After
he was dead, some of his teammates pissed all over
his body. The other
pictures show what happens in the military if a
homosexual is unlucky
enough to be discovered by his bunkmates before he's
discharged. Some of them are dead, and some are maimed
for life. All of
them were bashed for no
other reason then being gay."
The room was deadly
silent. Some people, like Nathan, looked at me. Most
simply stared at the
horrible pictures.
"Not everyone is as
open and accepting as this group. This is a very, very
rare group. If this
secret gets out about
will get to his family
and or his teammates. Either way, it's a dangerous
thing. So unless anyone
here wants to see
like this because of
silly gossip, I suggest we all agree to keep this
secret here."
lovingly.
"And just so y'all
understand, I never did anything like this before I met
Alex. I'm not really a
full-blown homosexual. I'm bisexual, I guess. But
anyways, I really would
appreciate it if you'd keep our secret. Please."
"So why don't you
just stop being fucking fags if ya don't wanna land up
like that damn picture...
An awful lot of folk down here think that's the
only way to deal with a
faggo ... homosexual," Nathan said with
slow-burning contempt.
"Why the hell don't
you grow up and stop being ignorant. Seems like that
would make everyone
happier," Cynthia added with more edge to her voice
than I'd ever heard.
"And when y'all talk about 'down here,' I hope you
mean the backwoods of
know are more civilized
then the monsters who did that," she added pointing
to the picture.
Audra had a tear in her
eye when she looked up and asked me where I'd
gotten these awful
pictures.
"I used to teach
courses in sensitivity training to the staff, resident
advisers and faculty at
college. I also used to speak to classes and even
some civic groups about
gay, lesbian and bisexual issues. These pictures
were just some of the
material I had," I said.
"So if you talked to
all them people at school, and they all knew about
you, how come you didn't
land up like that damned picture?" Nathan asked
seriously.
When I smiled, many of
the people in the room started to laugh and giggle.
say anything so I just
put my hands up and said, "Because it was a small
very expensive school,
and I was very lucky."
"Yeah, and captain
of the judo team," Steve bellowed out to a round of
laughter.
"Hell, even I know
not to fuck with him!" Dennis offered.
I blushed a little as I
added, "Like I said, I was very lucky. Even judo
won't protect you from a
team wielding baseball bats or an idiot with a
gun. It probably did
offer me some protection, but more than that, it made
people who might have
dismissed me otherwise stop and listen to what I had
to say."
"If yer done with
yer speech, can ah leave now?" Nathan asked like a man
held against his will.
"Not so fast
sport," Dennis said. "Give me your wallet'"
"Fuck you!"
Nathan replied bravely.
"I'm not going to
keep it or take any of your damned money. Now give me
your wallet,
dickhead!" Dennis stated in low, even tones. His threat was
implied even if he didn't
say it in so many words.
Glaring at Dennis with
uncontested hatred, Nathan reluctantly handed over
his wallet. Dennis opened
it up and took out his ID, handed it to a girl
named Trina and asked her
to copy all the information on it to a piece of
paper.
When she had finished,
she handed everything back to Dennis. Dennis folded
up the paper and stuck it
in one of his pockets, then replaced the ID card
and handed the wallet
back to Nathan.
"You know why I took
that information?" Dennis asked Nathan, who said
nothing as he glared.
"That might be the smartest thing you've said all
night buddy boy. I took
that information because if anyone finds out, I
mean anyone, here or at
Austin's school, you are going to suffer. I don't
mean beat-you-up kind of
suffering. I mean twisted fucking shit. The kinds
of things Pacino likes to
do in his movies. Capiche?"
Dennis's voice had become
so low and monotone, that it even scared us. He
was usually so nice that
no one thought much about it. But his past was a
mystery, and there had
been rumors that he'd done work for drug dealers in
south Florida. Hard to
believe till you saw his gold jewelry, muscles and
moments like this, when a
terrifying cold pallor came over him.
This was one guy you
didn't want to get angry. I was certain that his
muscles were the least
scary thing in his arsenal.
"You believe what
I'm telling you Nathan?" Dennis asked tauntingly.
Nathan had lost some of
his anger. It had slowly been replaced by an
element of fear.
"Yeah, I won't say shit.
To me he's dead anyways." Nathan said in an
attempt to regain his
bravado.
Phil finally spoke up as
he pushed into the room.
"Nathan, get out
now. And if we hear anything about this getting out,
Dennis will just be the
first wave, jerkwad. You got me?"
As Nathan pushed out he
gave a feeble, "Fuck all y'all, anyways."
To everyone's surprise,
Jennifer blocked his way and said to him, "I have
been keeping your secret
for years now. If this gets out, I will make sure
the police get all the
information they need. Now get out of this house. No
one wants a hateful
person like you around."
And then he was gone. A
moment of dead silence came over the room.
Finally Austin squeezed
me and said, "I told you capping their asses would
have been easier!"
Later on, I played the
guitar, cradled up against Austin's chest. He held
me and got drinks for me
all evening. Since I'd already been drinking, he
told me that he'd drive
us back to my house. If I'd thought I'd fallen for
him before this, I'd
found out that that was just a false start. Now I
found myself falling into
a wonderfully deep place suspended in his
arms. That he was
demonstrating love for me in front of his friends meant
everything. That they
were so supportive meant, well, I'm not sure there is
a word for this feeling,
at least not in English. A bond had formed now
around our group that no
one could break. And for the moment, at its
center, it was Austin and
I.
Austin had gone back to
the house to get another drink. When he came back
out, he was talking to
Jennifer and Glen. At one point, all three of them
looked up at me. Then,
with a serious look on his face, Glen came over and
said rather loudly,
"I can't believe that the only person you wanted to
save was Dan! See if I offer to perform your civil gay
marriage thing for
you."
Then Glen turned to the
group and said loudly, "Everyone, I think you
should know that when
Austin found out about the gossip," he turned around
and looked right at me,
barely stifling the grin that his mock indignation
was trying to mask,
"which, by the way, I told them about, the only person
he offered to save was
Dan. Because he looked cute in surfer shorts!"
I knew it was a joke, but
I began to blush like a sunburned flamingo. All
the guys were laughing
and protesting. Finally, Dennis walked up with his
arms crossed and said,
"What about me? You'd take Dan over me?"
I stood up, not sure
where my balls had come from, and suddenly reached
down and cupped his
crotch. I never did things like this. It was just the
mood of the group and the
spirit of the night. I squeezed as he began to
laugh... I made a serious
contemplative face as though I was trying to
decide. Finally, I
reached up and pulled his face to kiss him on the cheek.
"Sorry big guy, nice
biceps don't do me as much good as a waxed long
board."
Everyone started laughing
hysterically. Finally, when Austin came over and
handed me my drink, I
grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him over.
"And what have we
learned tonight about gossip and telling secrets?"
More laughs and hoots
ensued as Austin sat behind me and pulled me up tight
against him. It was
entirely too hot for this, but how do you criticize the
upholstery of heaven?
Without any doubts, and
despite Nathan's attempt to ruin everything, this
evening was one of the
best I'd ever had. Even Jennifer had thrown her
weight behind us. And
when several members of the group tried to pry
Nathan's secret out of
her, she said with a steely voice that it was going
to remain their secret
unless Nathan broke his promise. I had suddenly
developed a huge amount
of respect for her.
We played love songs and
easy-listening songs till late in the evening. I
knew we were sending off
a good vibe when Phil's next-door neighbor, Mrs.
Shipman, an elderly lady
who had occasionally called the police when we
made too much nose,
opened her window and cut off her air conditioning. I
played acoustic love
songs and acoustic versions of rock classics all
evening. Even the
electrical guitar guys opted for acoustics.
I put my guitar down for
awhile and just enjoyed the feeling of Austin
wrapping his arms around
me and rubbing his stubbly cheek up and down my
neck. When I craned my neck back for a kiss, there
were quite a few
"awwwwwws" from
the crowd.
The mosquitoes finally
got so bad that we moved back inside. About half the
group had left, so there
were only about 16 of us left. Just before 1 a.m.,
a car pulled up and
really tall woman got out. As she walked up the
driveway, one of the guys
called out to Dan, and he raced out to meet this
newcomer.
While he helped her
inside, everyone turned to Cynthia and Korma for the
answer to who she was.
"That's his new
girlfriend," Korma whispered loudly. "Her name is Melisa,
and she's 29. She works
in media relations at the university, whatever that
means. That's all I know so far."
Dan introduced the tall,
tanned blond around the room. She seemed nice, but
a little distant. I could
see her trying to keep her nose down with all
these "kids."
But she did dote on Dan. He was an easy guy to dote on: tall,
dark and handsome.
His surfer lifestyle
showed in his personality every bit as much as it did
in his physique. But I
could see what was going on. He was her new boytoy.
As soon as they'd left
the room, Korma said in a loud melodramatic whisper,
"What a bitch!"
That feeling was
unanimously shared. When I was certain she wouldn't come
back in, I added, "I
don't understand, if she hated 'kids' so much, why was
she trying to dress like
one and put on make up to look like one? You think
she's like Jane Goodall?
Trying to sneak in and make us complacent while
she interacts with us and
takes notes?"
Everyone laughed, then
Phil added, "I wonder if Jane ever did one of her
gorillas over the hood of
her Porsche?"
A few minutes later
Audra, Cynthia, and Korma came over to where Austin and
I were sitting. "So,
since you two both have birthdays next month, what are
we doing for parties?
Phil suggested we do one on Friday the 22nd for both
of you. Is that good, or
do you have plans already?" Audra asked.
Austin and I just looked
at each other in surprise. Neither of us had
discussed this, as we
didn't know about the other's birthday, When my
eyebrows arched at him,
he said, "April 29th. You?"
"20th," I
grinned...
"An Aries and a
Taurus. This should be a fun birthday party." Melisa stated
skeptically from the
kitchen as she came out.
"Don't tell me you
believe that crap," Phil added with a grin.
"I don't think it
runs our lives Philip, but I do believe it has some
influence over our
personalities," Melisa said patronizingly.
Melisa looked over at
Austin and I. Her eyebrow shot up curiously as she
noticed his hand on my
thigh. Without realizing it, Austin withdrew his
hand and moved to get
comfortable. I quickly leaned against him and pulled
his hand back to where it
had rested.
I halfway expected her to
make some homophobic remark or sneer. Instead,
she laughed and said,
"Relax, I'm not trying to steal your man. I was
thinking that my brother,
Ryan, would like to meet you. He just moved back
from California."
She smiled and went back
to stand by Dan. She grabbed his ass firmly and
pulled him to her. This
woman was all kinds of bad news. If her brother was
anything like her, I was
not interested in meeting him.
Finally, the party ended.
Austin had stayed casually wrapped around me like
a huge muscular coat all
evening, making sure to step between his rival Dan
and I all night. It was a
joke, I think.
On the drive home, we
discussed our birthday situation. He said he couldn't
come home on his birthday
or else he'd have to bring Phoebe with him. Even
though I told him it was
OK, he could tell by my hurt expression that it
was not.
"Listen, I'll take
the whole weekend of the party off for us. How's that,
baby?" he asked,
hoping I wouldn't pout too much. I sighed, reached over,
put my hands on his and
said I'd be glad for any Austin time that I could
get.
I knew it was going to be
a short night once we got back to the apartment.
He had to be in
Gainesville by 8 a.m., so he was going to have to leave no
later than 6. It was 3:30
by the time we walked into my bedroom after
brushing our teeth and
getting ready.
As I led us to the bed, Austin
began undressing me from behind. I couldn't
help but giggle at his
youthful exuberance.
When I was down to his
nasty jock, he started laughing. Apparently he
hadn't seen where I'd
sewn it together before. I wiggled my ass for him as
I ripped out the
stitching and let it fall off me.
"Holy shit! You are
one easy piece of ass, Alex!" Austin laughed.
"Too bad it's all
wasted on you. Maybe I need to get you some Viagra since
you're getting so
old," I said as he walked up, wrapped his arms around me
and ran his hands all
over my smooth body, one hand straying to my nipple
and the other fondling my
crotch.
As I moaned and laid my
head back against his chest, he cupped my crotch
with his hairy forearm
and lifted me by it so I slid up his body till I
felt his stubbly chin on
the back of my neck.
"Sooooooooo
eaaaassssyyyyyy," Austin moaned in my ear. I arched my back
into him and could feel
my cock riding up his hairy arm. It surprised me
that my erection didn't
prompt a response from him. He stood still for a
few minutes, just kissing
the back of my neck and my ears.
When I finally arched my
neck around, we started to kiss for real, and
slowly he maneuvered me
around to face him. I clamped my feet around the
back of his waist as we
kissed deeply.
After a while we broke
the kiss and slowly Austin probed my mouth with his
big digit. "I have
to leave in two-and-a-half hours... You have to be to
work in 4. We gonna get a few hours sleep or ..."
He slowly withdrew the
finger I'd been sucking like a popsicle. I looked at
him and smiled demurely.
"Honey, as long as it's with you, I don't care. I
can catch up on my sleep.
But you have a long day ahead of you. What would
you like to do?"
Slowly his wet finger
began to probe my very exposed hole. I moaned and let
my head fall against
him...
"Goooood
answer," I moaned into his shoulder.
He walked over to my
nightstand. His wet finger became dry quickly, and he
hadn't even gotten past
the second joint. A few seconds later, his fingers
were slick with lube, and
my hole got prodded all the way to his manly
knuckle.
"If you don't stop
soon, your shirt's gunna have cum all over it." I moaned
as he found my prostate
and began inserting a second finger.
Slowly Austin began
fucking me with his fingers, withdrawing them slowly as
he did so.
"Don't ruin my new
shirt, baby," he rasped in my ear.
When his fingers were
completely out, he leaned over the bed till I was
touching the mattress and
I let go. Then, with the lights still on, he
locked eyes with me and
began a slow, intensely erotic strip show.
When his body was no
longer marred by clothing, I gasped at his familiar
form made new each time I
gazed upon it. His cock was so hard it looked
ready to shoot off like a
Roman candle.
There was no sleep that
night. I swallowed his five-star cock while he
practiced his new talent,
analingus. We both came twice, and spent the last
hour in the shower
kissing and petting each other. I told him that, in
truth, he had found a
place I believed only fairy tales lived.
I was so happy it scared
me. When we'd dried off, he told me to get back in
bed and sleep. But I
followed him naked to my front door and kissed him
with a love I hoped would
last us both two weeks.
And then he was gone.
I was so far off the
ground that I couldn't cry at his departure. I only
felt empty and sad that I
couldn't leave with him. As I laid awake over the
next few hours I went
over everything that had happened that weekend.
Work was nearly hell that
day, though when I told Marika and Ashtin, the
two female co-workers I
got along best with, they were oohing and aahing
all through lunch. Even
the terminally straight Ian got in on the
conversation.
I didn't tell them
Austin's name, but I did mention he was an athlete at a
major university. They
covered my ass all day as I plodded along at the
bank.
At home, I went to bed
without eating dinner. I awoke about 10:30 to a
phone call. It was
Austin, sounding exhausted.
"Hi baby, how was
work today?" he asked.
"Hell. But I just
had a four-hour nap. How are you feeling?"
"Like I spent an
entire weekend making love and fucking instead of
sleeping. Today was hell. I think I'm gonna blow off
English tomorrow and
sleep in," he said.
He was quiet for a second before adding, "I just wanted
to call and hear your
voice. I don't know if you can tell, but I've really
fallen for you, Mr. Johnson."
"Yeah? I think
you're just punchy from lack of sleep," I said softly.
"That too, I guess.
I wanted to hear your voice before I went to
sleep. Hope I didn't
bother too much," he said.
"Nah. Anything for
you, babe. If the bill wouldn't kill us, we could sleep
with the receivers up to
our ears."
He laughed and told me I
was delirious. We talked for a few minutes, then
decided we could make
more sense the next day.
We only missed one day
talking to each other. He'd gotten so bold he even
called me from Phoebe's
room while she was in the lobby doing some sorority
thing.
When we were on the
computer, he was split evenly between the horny,
athletic, frat boy
exhibitionist and the sweet boy I'd fallen head over
heels with. Which was fine, because I loved them both.
Each appealed to
different sides of me.
On the surprisingly
chilly morning of April 20th, I arrived at work before
it had even dawned on me
what day it was. It wasn't till Ashtin came in and
handed me a "Happy
birthday" card that it dawned on me.
"Marika, Ian. Greg,
Lucy and I are taking you to lunch today. Happy
birthday," she said.
As I was saying thank you
to her, a man walked in carrying a huge bouquet
of three-dozen red roses.
He asked our floor supervisor something, and she
pointed to me. I almost
fainted. No one had ever done anything like this
for me before.
I couldn't even speak
when the guy winked at me and called me a lucky
bitch. It turned out he knew Austin, and that's why
he was picked. I
almost fell over when he
handed me the roses.
Fortunately, Ashtin
helped me stand and tipped the guy. Turning to my co-
workers, she said,
"Don't worry guys, I will tell you everything I know
after lunch."
Then she turned to me and
said loudly, "And you will tell me allllll about
it over Lunch!!!"
TBC