The
session had been good. No one satisfied Jim like Jake could. Jake always
succeeded taking him to a climax without touching himself. As Jake lay
recuperating beside him, Jim leaned over him and kissed him. "That was
good. Thanks, Babe."
He
rolled off the bed and strutted into the bathroom. When he came back out Jake
was sitting on the edge of the bed already dressed, looking rather pensive.
"What's
on your mind, Jake?" Jim asked, slipping a t-shirt over his head. Jake
studied him for a moment before answering. "I think we should take our
relationship to the next level. I love you, Jim. I want to live with you."
Jim
slipped his Levi's on and sat down to put on his socks. Jake watched waiting
for a reply. When Jim picked up a boot, Jake stood up. "Well, what do you
think?"
Intent
on pulling his boots on he refused to look up at Jake. "It won't
work." he muttered.
"How
do you know that?"
Jim
stood up and glared at him. "Look, Jake, I've been in three relationships
and they all three fell apart with both parties getting hurt each time. I like
you too much to risk hurting you."
"And
you think your not hurting me by freezing me out. We've been seeing each other
for three years. We get along so well."
"I
don't want to get hurt again."
"I
would never do anything to hurt you. I love you, Jim."
Jim
grabbed Jake by his shirt front and stuck his face up to his. Jake may have
been the taller, but Jim was just as muscular as Jake. At that moment, he
subconsciously thought of Jake as an over grown mouse with his need and desire
to be loved. "Stop it. I told you once that I don't want to hear that
shit. What we have is enough. I don't want to hear that again."
Jake
forced Jim's hands off his shirt and backed away from him. He couldn't believe
that this hard bitter man in front of him was the same man that he had been
making love to a few minutes ago. "I thought I knew you. You're showing a
side I've never seen before."
Jim
turned away. "Who said that you know me?"
"I
believed you loved me."
"I
have never said that."
"But
you've always shown it. Until now."
"Yeah,
well....." Jim looked everywhere except at the man standing in front of
him.
Jake
studied him. He'd never seen the hard shell Jim now projected. He'd always been
warm and giving until Jake had opened his big mouth and suggested that they
commit to each other. He sighed. "Alright, Jim, if that's the way you want
it."
He
turned and walked to the door. As he reached for the knob, Jim asked,
"Where are you going?"
Jake
turned and looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Pardon me, but you don't
have the right to ask that question any more." he turned back to the door
intent on leaving.
"Why
not? Nothing has changed," Jim said.
Jake
turned and looked back at him. For a few moments he didn't say a word. Finally
he muttered, "I guess I had the wrong perspective. Your right, Jim,
nothing has changed. Just my view of it." He quietly closed the door as he
stepped out.
The
soft click was like a gunshot to Jim. He collapsed to the floor. He knew at
that moment that he had lost something precious, something that he had
convinced himself that he didn't need or want in his life. At that moment he
realized that even though he'd never admitted it to Jake or himself, he loved
him. He stared in disbelief at the closed door. He had pushed Jake away. He
closed his mind to the admission he'd just made to himself, telling himself
that love had hurt him again.
"Oh
well,' the thought, "he'll be angry a couple of days and then he'll come
back. He won't leave me. He needs me." He kept talking to himself until he
had convinced himself that he was right.
~~~~~
Jake
was desolate of feeling as he mounted his classic Indian motorcycle and slowly
rode the few blocks back to his place. He looked around the spartan two bedroom
apartment and felt claustrophobic. He needed to get away, get his mind back to
a good place. It was time to hit the road for a few days and regroup. He packed
a small duffle and his saddle bags with some clothes, his laptop and the few
essentials including a couple of books that he needed and locked the door as he
left. In minutes he was on the open highway headed away from the city. Where he
was going he would know when he got there. The only important thing at the
moment was the pavement flying by under his wheels and the wind in his face.
-=J=-
From Jake's journal,
When
I left Jim's that afternoon after I had been rebuffed for the second time for
trying to get him to say that he loved me, I went back to my place, packed a
duffle and my saddle bags, tied them on the back of my classic low slung 1952
Indian motorcycle and headed out of town with no destination in mind. I rode
with my mind full of hurt, anger and resentment. I felt that I deserved better
from Jim; I spent over two years of my life courting him, hoping that one day
he'd come around. As far as I was concerned it was over with Jim. I wasn't
going to keep hoping and ending up hurting like this.
I
rode without my helmet, letting the wind whip through my hair, blowing the
negativity from my mind. After a few droning hours on the open highway my mind
was cleared of the anger and resentment I was feeling toward him. I felt at
peace with myself and the world. Jim didn't matter for the moment.
I
rode late into the night and finally stopped at a two-bit motel on the
outskirts of the small city of
5-3-'03
I woke up late and took my time getting up and moving. I was having a difficult
time not being depressed. After checking out of the motel. I cruised on into
and around town and decided that it was as good as anyplace to hold up in for a
bit while I licked my wounds and let them heal. I found a clean little old
hotel downtown and rented a room by the day. That evening I tooled around until
I found a café where a police motorcycle and a couple of police cruisers were
parked out front. I knew there would be good food there. The police always know
where there is good affordable food to be had.
The
two cops driving the cruisers were standing at the cash register paying their
check when I entered. They turned to look at me. I nodded to them and stepped
up to the counter, set my helmet on a stool, pulled off my leather jacket and
draped it over the back of it and then sat down on the stool next to it. I glanced
around and didn't see the motorcycle cop, but I noted the restroom sign above
an arched alcove and figured that was where the he was.
I
picked up the menu and started to peruse it. I looked up when I heard the
squeal of door hinges in need of some graphite. The motorcycle cop, with his
helmet tucked under one arm, stood in the arched doorway. Covertly, I watched
the big blonde handsome hunk over the top of my menu. He looked down at the
stool next to where he stood as if considering sitting there, and then at me. I
think my heart skipped a few beats when our eyes skirmished. I dropped my eyes
back to the menu. A moment later a deep masculine voice sent a thrill down my
spine and interrupted my feeble attempt at making a decision about my dinner
choice.
"Mind
if I sit here?"
Not
believing that the hunky cop was wanting to sit next to me, I swiveled to
glanced down the row of empty stools, and then I looked up to verify that it
was he who had spoken. Have you ever seen a deep mountain spring-fed pool? The
water's not really blue, nor is it quite green. The color is deep and liquid.
That was his eyes. I got lost in their depths. It took me a moment to remember
what the question had been.
"No...no,
please do," I said. My eyes dropped to the man's smiling lips, to his
strong cleft chin and then to the uniform. I pulled my eyes back up before they
went any further south, and looked at the officer's face again. He was
handsome, maybe the most handsome man I had ever seen. I wondered what it would
be like to run my tongue through the deep cleft on his chin.
He
picked up a menu glanced through it and put it back in the chrome holder. My
whole right side was vibrating from his proximity. Sitting so close, I could
feel his body heat. I kept my eyes on the menu even though my mind wasn't
processing what I was looking at.
"If
you like liver and onions this place makes the best." He said nudging me
with his shoulder.
I
winced. I didn't need him touching me; I already had an uncomfortable hardon.
"That's what you're having?" I asked, not daring to look at him.
"Absolutely,
I stop here at least once a week for it. The liver is about three quarters of
an inch thick, with just a little pink in the middle, and the onions are
grilled to a crispy brown and not greasy." He seemed so cool and at ease.
I felt like I might implode at any given moment and prayed he wouldn't touch me
again. Fuck, not even Jim had had this effect on me. I felt like I was fourteen
throwing a woody.
At
that moment the diminutive big breasted, blonde waitress sidled up to stand
provocatively in front of him. I wondered if she would snap her gum to complete
the picture.
"Hi,
Charley, you having your usual?" I had expected her voice to sound like
fingernails on a chalk board with a nasal twang. It wasn't. A soft soothing
modulation, almost musical, flowed out of her mouth.
"Yeah,
Sal, the usual." He grinned at her and she winked at him as I watched and
then she turned to me smiling.
"And
you, Hon?"
I
grinned at her feeling like a complete idiot and nodded toward the cop.
"I'll try his usual."
"And
to drink?"
I
looked at her. She wasn't chewing gum and I saw intelligence in her eyes. Must
have been the pink uniform with it's short, above the knees skirt and big white
ruffled collar that descended to a deep cleavage, or it might have been her
hair color that made me instinctively think she would be an air head.
"Just a tall glass of ice water, thanks," I said.
She
had a nice smile. I closed the menu and placed it back in the chrome rack that
also held the condiments at the back of the counter. I glanced at the cop as he
scrutinized me.
I
have dated a few girls and other than the affair with Jim I'd never considered
getting close to another man. I'd looked at a few and wondered, but that was
all. Now here was this big beautiful cop being friendly and I felt like a kid
with his first crush. I knew I was just going to have to brazen this out and
ignore my reaction to him. I steeled myself, turned and held out my hand.
"I'm
Jake Shipman, Charley." I grinned and got grinned back at.
"Charley
Hill, Jake."
After
the reaction I had when he bump my shoulder, I expected a jolt just touching
his hand, but not the thousand mega-volts that went right to the center of my
being. I was certain that my hair had to be standing out from my head like a
cartoon character. From the look of surprise in his eyes I suspected he felt
it, too. He didn't look up at my hair so it must not have done anything
abnormal, but my scalp still tingled. He held my hand too long, but pulling mine
back was out of the question. I would've let him hold it all evening, but then
he blushed and let go.
We
talked though our meal and an after dinner cup of Sal's good coffee. I began to
relax and enjoy his company. He learned I hailed from Wayton and I found out
he'd been born and raised here in Kirksville. We both discovered we were
bachelors with no marriage prospects in sight. Sal watched us from her stool
next to the cash register, interrupting only to take away the dirty dishes and
bring us more coffee.
"Well,
time for me to get back on duty." Charley said, rising off the stool and
reaching for his wallet at the same time. I watched him over tip Sal and I
matched the amount he left. He grinned at me and I couldn't help but grin back
at him.
He
blushed at Sal's knowing wink as he paid his bill. I wondered what was going on
with the two of them.
We
wandered outside. It had gotten dark while we ate. The neon signs had come on;
staining the bleached glare of the sodium light mounted a telephone pole next
to the café. We watched each other put on our leather jackets. I straddled my
chopper and pulled on my snug-fitting helmet and admired the way Charley's
uniform pants fit when he bent over his cycle to adjust something. I couldn't
tell much about his upper torso. He was wearing a bulletproof vest.
Although
it was dark beyond the arc of harsh brightness, Charley put on his Ray-Bans
before turning and walking up to me. I looked at my two reflections in his
glasses and then at the shy smile below them. I tried to swallow a sudden lump
in my throat. I was feeling sad that nothing more was going to happen between
us and at the same time I felt relieved. I was just beginning to recoup from
Jim's refusal.
"I'm
off duty in about an hour," he said. "You want to grab a beer and
just lay back awhile?"
"Sounds
good." I couldn't keep the smile off my face.
"Meet
me here," he said pausing to look at his watch, "in one hour and
fifteen minutes."
I
memorized his face. "Will do," I said. My heart was singing. I ogled
Charley's backside as he mounted his motorcycle, took off the sunglasses and
stowed them inside his jacket. He waved without looking back and cruised up the
street. I slumped over the handlebars, wishing he'd touched me again or that
I'd had the courage to touch him. I realized that I hadn't thought about Jim in
nearly two hours. I resented that he could intrude on this moment, but the
anger had gone, replaced by a feeling of emptiness.
I
sighed, got off the bike, opened one of the hand-tooled leather saddle bags,
took out a book and wandered back into the café. This time I chose a booth. The
place was nearly empty. There was one couple in a booth and an old guy at the
counter. I caught Sal's eye and mouthed "Coffee" and opened the book.
I
stared at her kind of shocked at her forwardness, and didn't answer. She shrugged.
"Honey, Charley and I grew up together. We've been friends forever.
Charley's as nice a guy as you'll ever find." She sighed and said,
"Fortunately, for you, he's not my type."
I
raised an eyebrow as I continued to look at her. "You don't like cops, Sal?"
I asked.
She
laughed. "I love cops. I'd marry one in a minute if I could find one as
sweet as Charley."
"So
why not Charley?" I asked.
Sal
sighed and stared out the window a moment and then turned back to me. "I
don't think Charley is looking for a wife. I watched him date girls back when
we were in high school. He never dated one more than three times. Since he came
back, after he got out of the Marine Corp, I don't think he's dated at all. And
since he joined the police....well, I don't think anyone else has noticed, but
being a people watcher, I've noticed that Charley checks out each man that
comes through the door. He studies them and then dismisses them. He ignores the
women." She stared back out the window for a few moments. "He seemed
to have given up on finding a mate. Until tonight," she added as an after
thought.
I
nodded and nearly smiled. So she'd figured out that I was gay and that she was
okay with it. Otherwise, why would she be telling me this? She was also letting
me know that she thought Charley was, too.
"You
be good to him." She admonished. "Be honest with him. Let him know
where he stands."
"How
do you know I'm not just going to be just a one night stand?" I asked.
"You're
a good guy, Hon, I can tell. It'll only be that way if that is what you want it
to be. I know Charley. He doesn't do what he's done with you tonight. He may
check out other men, but he doesn't make contact with them. You're the
exception."
I
looked down at my book. There was a sudden lump in my throat.
"I'm
on the rebound. I'm not what he's looking for. Maybe I should just
disappear." I said glancing up at her.
"Don't
do that. Just be up front with him. He could use a good friend like you. And I
think from the look in your eyes, you could use one, too." She patted my
hand. Her eyes held mine for a moment. "Your coffee is cold, Hon, let me
bring you another cup," she said, picking up the untouched cup and
whisking it away.
I
stared out the window into the black night. A cup of steaming coffee appear on
the table, but she didn't interrupt my reverie. I sighed kind of wishing she
had. My thoughts were back on Jim. And I didn't want to think about him just
then.
I
stared at the opened book I'd brought in with me. I didn't see a word on the
page as I reviewed what had brought me to this particular place at this moment
in my life. I was an only child raised on a farm upstate. My parents were in
their mid forties when I was born. I suppose I was loved and protected more
than most kids. Growing up isolated on the farm I knew I was naive and rather
shy. I still didn't make friends easily, even after two and a half years in the
Army and three years of college. I dated girls while in high school, more as a
cover because I had no interest in them. I never had a sexual encounter with
anyone until I ran into Jim.
Jim
was different from any other guy I'd met. Nearly as tall as me, but much more
muscular. He'd dominated me and I let him. He'd pushed me into bodybuilding,
introduced me to heavy sex and taught me nothing about love. He'd never kissed
me when we weren't having sex. I wondered if he'd become a nurse as penance for
not being able to love. I loved the sex with him, wanted to love him and be
loved by him. But all he was willing to give was a great fuck. I wanted more
than that.
I
sighed and immersed myself in the book. I was aware that Sal had come back and
refilled my cup with hot coffee a couple of times, but I was so engrossed in my
reading that it took me a moment to register that Charley had slid into the
seat across the table. I glanced up and saw him grinning at me and couldn't
help but grin back. He was dressed in jeans and a blinding white, tight tee
shirt. It was plain to see that he had a muscular chest and a flat hard belly.
He had a black leather biker's jacket slung over one shoulder, a finger hooked
in the collar.
"You
ready to go?" He asked.
I
nodded and closed my book.
"Come
on."
I
got up, left a couple of dollars on the table and followed Charley to the door.
Sal caught his eye with a warm smile. She winked at him again and he blushed.
Seeing a big guy like Charley blush is delightful. I couldn't help but chuckle.
He reached behind his back and poked me in the belly with a finger. "Are
you on in the morning, Sal?" he asked, acting casual, as if he'd never
blushed in his life.
"As
sure as the sun rises in the east," she answered.
"Well,
then we'll see you after it's well up in the sky. Good night."
I
nodded to her with a big stupid grin. She smiled and held up a warning finger.
I nodded again and followed Charley out the door. I stowed my book and looked
up to see Charley studying me. I smiled, but Charley's countenance remained
studious.
"What?"
I asked.
Charley
shook his head and smiled with one side of his mouth. "Just trying to
figure out things. Let's go home."
I
blinked and took a step back. My heart started palpitating. I wasn't ready to
go home with him. Home held many connotations. I wasn't prepared for any of
them. Charley noticed I was near panicking.
"That's
where the beer is," he explained.
"I
thought we'd be going to a bar," I said. I wondered if he could hear the
quaver I could feel in my voice.
"The
only bar I'd feel comfortable in is inhabited by my buddies on the force. We
couldn't talk in there. We need to talk, Jake." His tone of voice was
begging me to understand and accept.
I
gulped and nodded in agreement, calming down a bit. Of course, he would be out
of place in most bars; he was a cop after all.
We
mounted our cycles and roared into the night, me following behind Charley's big
Harley. My heart was pounding. What was I getting myself into? I instinctively
felt I could trust the big blonde man on the Harley in front of me, but I
wasn't emotionally ready to get involved with him. My thoughts and emotions
tumbled along at a speed that matched the motorcycle I was riding. Those
thoughts and emotions hadn't arrived at any destinations when Charley led me to
his.
We
turned into the driveway of a small, modest, well kept house in a quiet
neighborhood. The door of the attached garage rose as we approached and Charley
rode in, parking his Harley next to a fairly new Ford 150 Pickup. I stopped
outside unsure of what I wanted to do, or of what Charley was expecting of me.
Charley turned off his engine and looked back at me. "Park it in here,
Jake. You don't want to leave it outside."
I
had already turned off my engine, so I stepped off of it and pushed it in next
to Charley's. Trepidation had a firm grip on my throat. The garage door closed,
my knees gave way and I sat on the bike seat. I found myself facing Charley's
chest. I stood up and looked into the big guy's face expecting to be wrapped in
a hug with my lips pressed against his. It didn't happen. Charley smiled and
shyly took my hand and lead me into the kitchen. I marveled at the warmth, the
security I felt in that hand holding mine.
He
paused at the refrigerator and removed two long-necked bottles of beer with his
free hand, led me over to the kitchen table, pulled out a chair and motioned
with his chin for me to sit. When he let go of my hand I felt like I had been
set adrift. The only thing I could do was collapse into the chair. He sat
across from me.
He
twisted the cap off a bottle and pushed it across the table to me and then
uncapped the other one and took a swallow of beer, never taking his eyes off
mine. He sat the bottle down and continued to stare. I didn't know what was
going on in Charley's mind, but I felt contented just staring back. It took me
a moment to realize that he was speaking.
"What
is it about you that makes me feel so comfortable?"
I
smiled, but had no idea of how to reply. I picked up my bottle and guzzled a
quarter of it.
“Tell
me about yourself, Jake, tell me who you are."
I
found it easy to talk to Charley. I told him all about my life growing up on a
farm up north, joining the Army, about hooking up with Jim the last semester of
college, and when I was half way through the second bottle I told him about
Pete and Jason and about how Pete had broken his arm. And what a cute young
couple they were. It was then that I realized I had come to think of Jason as
my little brother. Funny, I felt like he was the only person in University City
that I thought I'd miss if I didn't go back. We drank more beer. I told him
about my writing. I wondered if I had started subconsciously considering not
going back.
Charley
told me about his life. He'd always lived in this town. He had two married
older brothers, three nephews and a niece that he adored. They and his parents
all lived here, across town. He'd been in the Marines, gone to community
college for three years and then joined the police force.
He
admitted that he'd known since puberty that he was gay, but had never acted on
it. He'd dated the opposite sex through high school never letting any one girl
get serious about him before he moved on. He didn't really know any gay men in
Kirksville.
I
told him about two fellows that I had recently met, and that one of them had a
brother who was a police detective and had a young lover going to the university.
He
became pensive. I watched him for a few moments and then couldn't take the
silence and the doubt that it implied. I reached over and took his hand that
was idly drawing circles with the bottle in its ring of condensation.
"What?"
I asked. He looked up at me
"I
want to make love to you Jake. But first I want to know you. I want you to know
me. There's something special about what's going on between us and I don't want
to fuck it up by just jumping into bed."
I
told him what Sally had said to me.
"Yeah,
Sal's a wonderful friend. We've never talked about me, but she has always been
understanding without saying anything."
"Charley,
you know I would never intentionally hurt you. I've told you about Jim. I'm
trying to get over him, but I'm still emotionally messed up. It's only been two
days."
"I'm
not going to push." His voice was soft, gentle.
"Damn,
Charley, I could so easily fall in love with you."
"I
probably shouldn't say this, but I think I have already fallen in love with
you."
I
let go of his hand and drew back.
"Don't,
Charley, don't."
"Jake,
I'm a big boy. I am responsible for my own feelings. Alright?"
"We
haven't even kissed, much less done the big act."
Charley
grinned and asked, "Do I have to do that before I fall?" He leaned
forward, resting his arms on the table; his hands clasped, and stared directly
into my eyes. "I'm looking forward to it, but it doesn't have anything to
do with how I'm feeling about you."
I
reached back across and covered the big man's hands with mine.
"I
don't want to just have sex with you and I'm not sure I'm ready to make love to
you. I should be going back to my hotel room." I stood up ready to flee.
We each had consumed four bottles of beer and it was nearly one o'clock. The
Authoritative Police Officer kicked in.
"You’re
not going anywhere at this point. I'd have to arrest you for DUI." The APO
disappeared just as fast as he had appeared. "Let's just go to bed and
cuddle. When the time is right we'll both know it. Until then I want to hold
you and offer you comfort. Maybe ease the pain you're feeling."
I
studied him.
"How
do you know I'm in pain?" I asked. Sitting back down.
"It's
in your eyes, Jake. I want a chance to take it away from you.
"I've
never met anyone like you, Charley. I feel like I'm in way over my head."
"I
won't let you drown, Man." Not saying another word he stood and took my
hand, pulled me from the chair and led me into the bedroom.
At
the edge of the bed Charley stepped in front of me and took both my hands in
his. We stood nose to nose and stared into each others eyes, neither of us
looking away.
"The
last time I slept with someone I was a ten year old kid." He told me. He'd
let go of my hands and started unbuttoning my shirt. I stood mesmerized and a
little tipsy and just let him. Charley slipped the shirt off my shoulders.
"I feel about as giddy as a kid right now knowing that in a few minutes
I'm going to be holding you in my arms. I've waited a long time for you."
"How
can you know it is me you've waited for, Charley? I'm kinda damaged goods, you
know?"
Charley
moved me to a sitting position on the bed. He's 6' 5" and I'm only one
inch shorter. I didn't resist, so it was easy for him to do. He knelt in front
of me.
"There's
nothing damaged about you, Jake." He pulled off my boots. "You may be
a little bruised. But bruises heal."
"More
like a little used, don't you mean?" I watched him pull the white socks
off my feet. Charley frowned in thought as he held one of the damp socks to his
nose. I smiled at the unconscious act but didn't say anything. He closed his
eyes and smiled. It was obvious that he liked my scent. I felt a stir between
my legs.
"Used?"
He asked, sitting back on his haunches. "No. Experienced? Yes."
I
stood up and started to undo my belt. Charley batted my hands away. I couldn't
help becoming aroused. He paid no attention to it as he undid my belt and
unbuttoned my 501s. When he pulled my jeans down to my knees, my cock sprung
erect, slinging pre-cum across his lips. Charley drew in a sharp breath and
grinned as he licked his lips. He hadn't expected me to be going commando. He
studied my cock a moment and then glanced up at me.
"This
doesn't look like it's had enough use."
"Charley."
"Relax,
Jake, I'm just admiring it. Damn, it is beautiful."
He
put a hand on my taut belly and pushed me back down on the bed. Taking the
bottom of my pant legs, he pulled them off.
He
stood up and folded the jeans and walked across the room to lay them on a chair
along with my shirt. I watched, fascinated with this big blonde giant. He
turned and looked at me.
"My
turn.” he announced.
"May
I do it?" I asked.
Charley
shook his head.
"Not
this time Jake. Not unless you're ready to go the length."
I
was, but I wasn't. I dropped my eyes and sighed. I watched a pearl appear on
the end of my dick and slide down the length of it
"Go
pee." Charley pointed at the bathroom door. He must have known that the
beer had finished recycling and was ready to be disposed of. I obediently rose
and headed for the bowl. I didn't know how I was going to be able to release my
bladder with a hard on. I stood at the bowl and thought about Jim. It went
down.
Charley
had undressed and folded the covers back, while he waited his turn in the
bathroom. I stepped back into the room and stopped, staring at the beautiful
naked man in front of me. He was staring at me. He was hard as a rock and his
big beautiful cock was, too. My cock stood back up while we took our time
memorizing each other's body. Charley finally broke the spell pointing to the
opposite side of the bed.
"Get
in. I'll be right back."
I
slipped between the cool sheets and closed my eyes. Minutes later I felt the
bed move as Charley slipped in beside me. An arm slid under my head. Feeling
the warmth of Charley's body moving up against me, I rolled onto my side and
snuggled my back against his incredible, hairy front. I could feel Charley's
hard cock pressing against my butt as he fitted his long body against mine. It
felt so natural, so right when he wrapped his arms around me, and pulled my
body snug against his. He kissed the back of my neck. I was stiff and
throbbing.
"Goodnight,
Jake. Sweet dreams."
Disappointed
that he was sincere in just going to sleep, I tried to stifle a yawn and
snuggled closer. I hadn't been aware of it, but I was exhausted. I nuzzled the
arm under my head and was soon asleep.
I'm
a very light sleeper and I woke up a while later knowing that Charley was still
awake next to me. I'd lost my hardon. I turned to face him. His poked me in my
belly.
"Can't
you sleep?" I asked.
"Probably
could."
"So
why don't you?"
"Don't
know. Maybe I'll miss something," he replied.
"Well,
I have no trouble going to sleep in your arms."
"I'm
comfortable with you, too, Jake. I just got caught up in feeling you lying
against me and forgot about sleep."
"Well,
I'm going to watch you until you go to sleep." I told him.
He
kissed the end of my nose and closed his eyes.
"Goodnight,
Jake." he said as he rubbed his cock against mine and then let out a huge
yawn.
In
just minutes he was softly snoring. I snuggled into his fur enjoying the
feeling of our cocks lying against each other. At some point I drifted away
into sleep, too.
~~~
It
was still dark when I again awakened. Charley was on his back and I lay against
him with my arm across his chest and my leg over his hips. I could feel his
hard cock pulsing under my thigh. My own cock felt at home pressed against his
side.
As
my awareness expanded, my bladder insisted on relief. I hated moving, but I
rolled away from Charley and off the bed. I felt my way to the bathroom, found
the bowl in the dark and released a flood.
Out
of the darkness Charley's voice rumbled. "Man, I gotta go, too. Mind?"
He
turned on a dim night light next to the sink. I moved to the side of the bowl
and watched Charley step up beside me and felt his big arm embrace my shoulder.
His strong stream splashed in the bowl. I turned my head toward his underarm,
and with a deep sniff I memorized his scent. My cock started to fill.
I
finished, but stayed to lend my support to steady the big half-asleep man until
he shook off the last drops. He flushed the bowl and turned, taking me into an
embrace. I didn't hesitate to hug him back. I was drunk on his scent and the
feel of his body.
"You
ready to get up or would you like to sleep a little more? It's only
four-fifteen." He kissed my nose as he asked.
I
was wide awake, and wanted some more of being naked next to this wonderful man.
"Let's go back to bed," I said.
We
lay face to face. I scooted down and burrowed in the white blonde forest of his
chest hair. I inhaled his scent; it was all man, not soap, not cologne, just
him. I rubbed my face against his chest nibbled the dark pink nubs poking
through the hair and then moved up to his neck, nuzzling the tender skin under
his ear. I rubbed my bristly cheek against his. The move up his body made me
aware of my hard, pulsing shaft now lying against his.
Charley
rubbed his hand up and down my back. I followed his lead. He pushed away and
looked at me.
"You
feel so good like this, Jake. But if you want to stop just say so. I'm not
going to push you."
I
chuckled. I'd already decided that I'd just relax and let Charley lead us.
"What's
so funny?"
"You're
the virgin. That was supposed to be my line."
"Yeah?
Well, if you were coming from a different situation it would be yours. But it's
mine right now. I mean it, Jake. If you're uncomfortable with this, just say
so."
"Charley,"
I said, staring into his deep pools, "I am amazed at how comfortable I am
with you." I grabbed his butt cheeks with both hands and pulled him snug
against me. He got the message. He kissed me. I'd never kissed another man.
Hell, I'd never kissed. Jim had hated kissing. "It's a female thing,"
he'd told me. I found nothing feminine about being kissed by Charley. I found
my mouth being forcefully opened by his tongue and I succumbed. It was just a
natural thing to copy what he was doing and it made my head spin, sticking my
tongue in his mouth. I loved the taste and feel and the emotions it evoked. I
discovered that I loved kissing. I discovered that I loved kissing Charley.
As
the sky lightened, Charley and I took each other to plateaus I had never known
before. The first time it came on us fast. His hand hardly touched my cock
before I spewed all over his belly and crotch. The moment my hot semen hit his
cock he shot all over the both of us. Thus well lubricated we rubbed against
each other until neither of us could stand it any longer and we added massively
to the stickiness.
Charley
rolled out of bed and returned with a warm wet towel and wiped us both clean.
We cuddled chest to chest; our legs entwined, and dozed.
I
woke with Charley lightly snoring into the pit of my upraised arm. I had never
experienced this post coital tenderness before. Once Jim was done he was out of
bed and gone. Now I lay with this big beautiful man asleep in my arms and I
never wanted to stop. 'This is what love adds to it,' I told myself. 'This is
what was missing with Jim.
That
thought scared the bejeezus out of me. I'd spent three years with Jim and never
came near this level. One time and I was thinking about love with Charley. I
couldn't believe that I had just met him last night.
Charley
breathing pattern change and I realized he was sniffing my scent. And then his
tongue was tasting my arm pit. Soon he was doing things to me that put all
coherent thoughts out of my head.
After
coming down from the high of my third orgasm I rolled onto my back sucking in
air. Charley, still breathing hard, too, lay on his side his head propped up on
his elbow.
"Damn,
Charley, that was the best sex I think I've ever had," I exclaimed.
He
didn't say anything for a nearly a minute as he just looked at me. "Is
that all it was to you, Jake, just sex? I've never touched another man's cock.
I took yours in my mouth, I swallowed your cum and to you it was just
sex?"
I
looked at him. I felt that if only I could be a hard ass toward him and just
make it be only sex we'd be safer. But I'm no good at lying. The tears in his
eyes really did make them look like deep clear pools. Besides, I love holding
him while he sleeps.
"No,
Charley, that was not all it was," I sighed. "But maybe it would be
best if it had been."
He
stared at me a moment more then rolled off the bed.
"Fuck
you, Jake," he muttered, as his feet hit the floor.
I
heard the shower flow and the crash of the shower door being yanked closed. I
sighed and stared at the ceiling.
"To
hell with this. And to hell with rejection. I don't need it. I'm going with how
I feel." I said out loud to the empty room. “This marvelous man is wanting
to love me. And I want to love him. So why not?" I slipped into the shower
and wrapped my arms around Charley's chest. He groaned and lay back against me.
The back of his head rested on my shoulder. Neither of us said a word as I
started feeling and caressing his slick, wet body.
He
turned in my arms and we held each other tightly, while rubbing our cocks
together, enjoying the feel of each other's hard taut body. I slid down and
kneeled before him, taking his beautiful cock into my mouth.
Charley's
hips pushed forward and I swallowed, letting it slide into my throat. I'd read
about guys doing this but never dreamed of doing it myself. It was easier than
they made it sound. I swallowed a couple of times. Charley's cock seemed to
grow bigger, and then it was pulsing. I pulled back to take his essence in my
mouth where I could get a taste of it. It was sweet. That surprised me. Jim's
was bitter. I'd only once sucked Jim's cock until he came. I'd spit out his
cum, I didn't like the taste or having his cock forcefully rammed into my
mouth. I never let him put his cock in my mouth again.
I
was so turned on having Charley cumming in my mouth that I shot my load on his
feet without touching myself.
The
water chilled and he turned it off, grabbed a towel and rubbed me down. When he
finished he stepped out, picked up another one and started to dry himself. I
took it from him giving him the same tender treatment that he'd given me. He
took my hand and led me back to the bed. He lay down pulling me down beside
him. He pulled my body against his, wrapping his arms and legs around me. Holding
me tightly, he told me we had to talk.
"I
know," I said with a deep sigh.
He
relaxed his hold and I caressed the pelt on his chest.
"That
feels so nice," he purred.
"Charley?
You admit to being a virgin. Where is the shyness, the fumbling? You are the smoothest
take charge guy I have ever met. Where does all this confidence come
from?"
He
stared at the ceiling. "I guess from being a cop. That and a stint in the
Marine Corps. I didn't tell the whole truth. When it comes to man sex, yeah,
I'm a virgin. Well, I was yesterday. Partially. Mostly. My brothers taught me
about sex. You know the usual stuff kids do, jacking off, that kind of thing.
I've had a good bit of sex with women. I guess they would say I'm pretty good
at making love.
"But
you know what, Jake?" He continued to stare at the ceiling. "It was
all just fucking. That's all any of it ever was. I never made love to any of
them. I never made love to anyone before this morning. I never met a man I
wanted before yesterday."
He
rolled in my embrace and pulled me snug, the tip of his nose touching the end
of mine.
"When
I laid eyes on you, Jake, when I walked out of that restroom and saw you
sitting at the counter, I knew...." His emotion choked him, making the
words difficult. "I knew, Jake, that you are the one. The only one for
me."
"Jesus,
Charley, I've been straight with you. You know what I'm coming from. You know
I'm fucked up emotionally right now." I pushed away from him and sat up.
"I told you about Jim. I feel like such an ass. I should have run when
Sally warned me."
"Don't
run from me, Jake. I promise I'll keep my emotions to myself until you're
ready."
I
stood and turned to regard him. "And we'll continue to have sex that's
really more than just sex. Who are we kidding here, Charley?"
He
rolled over to the edge of the bed and stood in front of me. He raised a hand
to caress my cheek, but I stepped backwards knowing what his touch does to me.
He
dropped his hand and turned away. "I'm going to go make a pot of coffee.
What do you like in it?" he asked slipping into his boxers.
"Just
black." When he'd left the room I collapsed onto the mussed bed. It
smelled of him, and made my thoughts thick with lust. Sitting back up I
compared what had happened in the last twelve hours to how my three year
relationship with Jim had been.
I'd
been even more virginal than Charley. I had never experienced most of the
things he and I done, not even with a woman like Charley had. Jim was into
rough masculine stuff. No emotion from him, except lust. A caress to him was
trying to rub the skin off of my body, or a deep body massage, compared to the
gentle loving touch Charley had. Jim liked licking my pits and crack; he never
paid attention to any other part of my body. With Jim, I realized, I'd only
experienced sex.
Charley
had opened up a whole new world for me. He'd made love to me and then said he
would keep his emotions in check. I knew there was no way I could do that with
mine. I was falling in love fast and hard. My emotions were running rampant.
He
came back into the room carrying two cups of steaming black coffee and handed
me one. "Are you okay?" he asked. I looked up at him. His concerned
look pierced my being and I wanted to touch him. "Yeah, I'm fine."
Suddenly I couldn't look at him; my eyes seemed to have taken on a life of
their own as they glanced off of everything in the room except Charley's face.
"I was accusing you of being the virgin. Charley, I'd never before done
some of the things that we have done. I've never slept the whole night with
someone before last night. I'd never kissed like we have.
"You're
kidding me." His voice was filled with disbelief, awe. He set his cup down
and took my hand.
"Jim
was never gentle. He disliked kissing. He never put his mouth on my cock
although he often had it in other private places. I... I... I blew him once
when we first got together and hated the experience. He was rough and forceful.
His cum was bitter and I spit it out. You're the first man whose cum I've
swallowed.
"That
makes it even more special, Charley." he said as he kissed me. I opened my
mouth to him, but he pulled back. "We don't have time for more. I have to
be on patrol soon. Let's get dressed and go have breakfast. We can talk more
tonight. Okay?"
I
struggled to stay afloat staring into the deep pools of his eyes. I had an urge
to just take some deep gulps of him and happily drown.
"Okay."
I managed to pull my eyes away.
As
we dressed he told me he had to be on duty at eleven and ask me what I was
going to do with my day. When I told him I had no idea, he handed me a key to
his house "Check out of that hotel and move in here. You can stay in here
with me if you want," he said, and then as he turned away added an after
thought, "or you can have the guest room. It has its own bathroom."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End
of Part 1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~