Second Wind

Chapter Thirty

Ben

The phone rang about five on Friday afternoon and it was all I could do to make out that it was Joey. I had no idea what had him in such a frenzy but he was half-hysterical and even once he started using actual words he wasn't making any sense.

"Whoa, calm down, Joey. Take a few deep breaths. Where are you? Are you hurt? What's going on?"

There was silence for a few seconds and then he started again, a bit more rationally.

"I'm at work. It's about Connor. And Dave and Alice. I don’t know what to do."

"Take it easy, babe. Connor's here with me. He's fine. What are you talking about?" The names Dave and Alice rang a bell but I couldn't remember who they were.

"Papers. I got served legal papers. Jenny's parents want to take Connor away from me." He briefly told me about the man who had served the papers on him.

"That's ridiculous. Those people don't even know Connor or like him. What's this all about?"

"I don’t know. I can't figure anything out from these papers. They're too legal-sounding for me to make any sense of."

"Then the first thing you've got to do is have your lawyer go over them. Do you have a lawyer?"

"Not really. Pop has one for the business and he helped me with Jenny's estate, but I don’t even remember his name. Besides, it's late on Friday afternoon. I wouldn't be able to get in touch with him anyway. What am I gonna do?" He was getting wound up again and sounded like he was losing control.

"Calm down, let me think. Can you come home right now?"

"I'm the only one here. I have to keep the place open until six."

"Fuck that, you're not going to put the nursery out of business closing an hour early. But wait there a minute. I'm going to call Paul."

"Paul? What for?"

"I know what you think of him but he's a damn good lawyer, the best I know. And I know he's handled custody cases before. He'll know what to do. Don’t hang up. Just hold on the line. I'll call him on my cell phone."

I set the phone down and took my cell out of my pocket. There was no point in trying Paul's office; I knew there was no way he'd still be there at this time on a Friday afternoon. I tried him on his cell phone and caught him on his way home.

"Have him fax me the papers at the house. I'll go over them and get right back to you. But I'm going to need more background on this from him. I could come over to your place tonight if you think that would be okay."

"Yeah, if you could do that it would be great. He's at work right now but I'm going to have him come right home. Come over as soon as you can. We'll have something to eat and talk. Joey's freaking out over this."

"Try to calm him down. Parents don't lose custody unless they've done something horribly wrong. From what you've said about him, Joey sounds like a good father. I'm sure he has nothing to worry about."

I got back on the line with Joey and gave him Paul's home fax number and told him to come home as soon as he'd sent the papers.

James was having dinner with Cookie and her family so that would give us some time to talk to Paul. Knowing how attached James was to Connor, he'd probably freak out about this as much as Joey. It would be better to talk to Paul before telling him about it. I had some chicken breasts marinating, ready to go on the grill when Joey got home. I occupied myself making a salad and chopping up some veggies.

When Joey got home he handed me the papers and went right to Connor, wrapping his arms around him and holding him in a secure hug. He sat and rocked with him, trying to get Connor to work his magic on him, to calm him down. I read through the papers, trying to get an idea what this was all about. The language was legal and complicated but it was clear this had to do with Joey's relationship with me and our living together. There was even reference to James, although not by name. I tried to comfort Joey but we didn't talk much. Since we really didn't know what was going on I thought it would be best to wait for Paul rather than speculate and get ourselves more worked up.

Paul called after a half hour to say that he was on his way. I put the chicken on the grill and Joey steamed the veggies. We were ready to put the food on the table when Paul arrived. Joey was all over him as soon as he walked in the door.

"Take it easy, Joe. There's a lot I want to find out from you, but at this point I don’t think you've got any reason to get all worked up."

"Joey can fill you in on what you need to know while we eat, Paul."

"Good idea. Right now I know nothing about your background. I didn't even know you had a son until I dropped by here a few weeks ago."

So we sat down and ate, with Joey doing almost all of the talking. I knew it wasn’t easy for him to talk about his relationship with Jenny, especially about the circumstances surrounding Connor's birth. He talked about his life since then, living with his parents and meeting me, coming out and moving in here. For the most part Paul just let him talk, though he interrupted with a question now and then. By the time Joey finished I could tell he was emotionally drained.

After Joey stopped talking we were all quiet for a few minutes. Paul finally broke the silence.

"Okay, as I said when I came in, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. What their case comes down to is basically their claim that your lifestyle is a bad influence on the child. They claim that you are living in an immoral homosexual relationship and that constant exposure to this relationship is damaging to Connor. They also claim that you have an emotionally unstable teenager who is also a homosexual living in the house, further endangering the child. I assume they are referring to the young man I met the last time I was here."

"Yes, that's Joey's nephew James." I gave Paul a brief rundown on his recent history.

"It sounds like even though your in-laws live in Atlanta they have access to quite a bit of information about what's going on here."

"Well, they lived here for years and have lots of friends and relatives they keep in touch with. But it's still strange that they know so much about my life. It's not as if I'm a local celebrity and the subject of gossip, in spite of what my mother thinks. And they've shown no interest in Connor or me for nearly two years so I can't see why they'd be trying to get information about us now."

"Well, it doesn't matter where they got their information. The way things stand they haven't got a case. New Jersey has been allowing gay individuals and couples to adopt children for years. The state does not consider homosexuality or gay relationships detrimental to raising a child. I find it hard to believe they would even bring a suit like this. Things are very different in Georgia, so maybe they were encouraged by a local lawyer down there, who referred them to a law firm up here. I do know that the firm that filed this suit here is very conservative and frequently takes cases to make a political point, even when they stand no chance of winning."

"My life and Connor's shouldn't be a political issue."

"I agree. I'm going to try to get this case dismissed or at least heard as soon as possible. Do you still have that letter your father-in-law sent you?"

"Yeah, I don’t know why I kept it. I haven't been able to look at it since I first read it." Joey got up and went into the bedroom. When he came back he handed an envelope to Paul who opened it and quickly scanned though the paper inside.

"Damn, that is nasty. Of course, they will claim it was written in grief over the death of his only child, but their lack of contact with you or Connor for nearly two years is a telling point. You say your mother talked to them after you received this letter?"

"Yes, I was too distraught to talk to them. Mom called them and really gave them a piece of her mind. She never did tell me all they said. I think she didn't want to upset me even more."

"It would be good if I could talk to her. I need as much background on their attitude as possible."

Joey shook his head. "I don’t know if that's a good idea. She hasn't exactly been on my side though all of this."

"Nevertheless, she is a witness we need. Besides, she's your mother. She has to help."

"You don’t know my mother, but if you have to talk to her then we'll do it. So what do we do next? How long is all of this going to take?"

"The first thing is that you'll be hearing from the state Department of Youth and Family Services. They'll send a social worker out to do an investigation to make sure Connor isn't in any immediate danger. The social worker will want to look over the house and interview both of you and probably James as well."

"And then? They're not going to take Connor away from me until they make a decision, are they? I don’t think I could stand that." Joey was getting wound up again.

"No, they'd only take him away if there was clear evidence of abuse. They'll schedule a hearing in a few weeks. Both sides will have a chance to submit evidence to the court in advance."

"What kind of evidence?"

"On our side I'd like sworn statements from you and your parents, not only about the contact with your in-laws since Connor's birth, but about the kind of father you have been. To be honest, I can't imagine what kind of evidence they could present. I think their attitude is that your living arrangement alone is all they need." Paul thought for a minute. "Have you guys given any thought to registering with the state as domestic partners?"

"We talked about it not long after Joey moved in but we decided that when we did that we'd want to have a big party to celebrate with our friends and families. The way things stand with Joey's family we thought it might be best to wait a while. Why?"

"Well, the other side is claiming that your relationship is the problem. But if that relationship were legally recognized by the state they really wouldn't have a leg to stand on."

"Wouldn't it look a little contrived if Ben and I did that now, like we were only doing it because of the custody case?"

"Possibly, and I wouldn't suggest you do it for that reason only. But if you were going to register anyway, you might as well do it now. You could always have the celebration at a later date."

"We'll talk about it and let you know." I turned to Joey. "Can you think of anything else you want to ask Paul about?"

"Not right now. To be honest, I'm still not thinking very straight. This whole thing has really shaken my world. Are you sure this is going to come out all right, Paul?"

"Well, there are no guarantees but I can't imagine any way the court would take Connor away from you and give him to people who have never expressed any interest in him. I know you're not going to stop worrying just because I tell you to, but try to think of this as a nuisance suit, not a serious threat."

After Paul left Joey took Connor to his room to get him ready for bed. I poured us each a brandy and sat on the couch waiting for him. I thought about how odd it had been sitting at the dinner table with my ex-lover and my lover. I'd looked back and forth between them, trying to understand how I could have had serious relationships with both. They were so different. While I knew there would always be a special connection to Paul because we had shared our lives for so long, when I looked at him talking to Joey all I saw was an old acquaintance who was a very capable attorney. When I looked at Joey holding Connor, his eyes full of love, determination and a bit of fear, I knew that this was the man I would love the rest of my life.

When Joey returned from putting Connor to bed he nestled up against me on the couch and we cuddled. We sipped our brandy and stared into the fire in silence for a long time.

"Paul surprised me tonight. He's a lot different when he's not around Chad."

"Yeah, tonight he was more like the old Paul. I think maybe Chad was just a symptom of a mid-life crisis or something. Of course, Paul's always pretty impressive when he's in his lawyer mode."

"Paul seemed so sure of our case. He definitely gave me confidence I didn't have a little while ago. Do you think he's right, that I have nothing to worry about?"

"I do. He knows what he's talking about, when it comes to the law, anyway."

Joey

It was so hard getting through the workday on Saturday. Anthony was on with me and if there was anyone in the family I could talk to about the custody matter it was him, but I decided to hold back. I knew as soon as I told one person it would spread like wildfire through the family and, like my coming out, I thought my parents should be the first to know. Paul wanted to talk to them as soon as possible so I called Pop and made an appointment to go over to the house Sunday afternoon. I told him that I had something important to talk to both of them about but didn’t want to get into it on the phone. I tried not to sound too mysterious but it couldn't be helped.

I thought a bit about the conversation that Ben and I had had with James when Cookie's father had dropped him off the night before. We hated telling him about the mention of him in the papers because we knew he'd feel guilty, but since both Paul and the social worker were going to have to interview him, he had to know. Sure enough, he blamed himself for the whole situation, since Ben and I had been living together for a couple of months but the papers weren't filed until after he moved in with us. We tried to reassure him the best we could. After all, it was really our relationship that was the issue. James was only staying with us temporarily. Our relationship was permanent. He had calmed down a bit before bedtime but I could tell it was still bothering him. Over breakfast Ben said he would continue to work on him during the day.

On Sunday Paul came over to the house after lunch. We talked a bit about my parents as I tried to prepare him for Mom. We decided that, given her attitude, I would introduce Paul only as my lawyer. There was no need for Mom to know that he was gay or that he was Ben's ex. Paul talked to James a bit and then we left Connor and James at home and drove to Madison. My parents had no idea why I was coming over and things were pretty tense when we first arrived, so I wasted no time in telling them about the custody case. Then I explained who Paul was and why he wanted to talk to them. Ben and I had decided to say as little as possible and leave the talking up to Paul. Maybe things wouldn't get too emotional that way.

As I explained both Mom and Pop grew visibly angry. Pop was a bit more rational as I would have expected.

"But they never wanted anything to do with Connor. What would make them do something like this?" Pop looked exasperated, like he was trying to understand where this was coming from but wasn't able to make any sense of it.

"Apparently they found out that Joey was gay and that set them off. I'm going to call their attorney in the morning and see if I can't get a better understanding about what's behind this."

"To think they were our friends, like family. What gives them the right to try to take Connor away?" Mom was indignant.

"Well, they are his grandparents, just like you and Mr. Napoli."

"They're not like us at all. We practically raised Connor. They've only seen him once and they didn't pay any attention to him then. How dare they accuse Joey of not being a good father." I was shocked. That was the nicest thing she'd said about me in months.

"I'm going to want to talk to you about the kind of father Joey has been, but first I want to go over your telephone conversations with the Reynolds after Joey received that last letter from them."

Mom talked about her conversation with Dave the day I got the letter. She and Dave had each gotten so angry they ended up hanging up on each other. She called back a couple of days later and talked to Alice. Their talk wasn't as emotional but every bit as hostile. Just listening to Mom, remembering what I had been going through back then, I came close to tears. When I lost Jenny my whole world had fallen apart and I was barely able to function, but I'd been able to love Connor and take care of him. I knew that Dave and Alice had been grieving terribly also, but taking it out on a newborn was unforgivable. I knew I would do anything to keep them away from my son.

Paul took some notes and then explained that he wanted both Mom and Pop to make an appointment to come to his office during the week to make sworn statements he could submit to the court. As soon as Paul's questioning ended Mom started running off at the mouth again.

"I just can't believe Dave and Alice would do this after all this time. What could have upset them so? I see Janice every week and she hasn't said anything at all about them being concerned about Joey and Connor."

"Janice? Who's that?" Ben leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"Alice's sister, the one they were visiting over the holidays."

"It's not like Janice and I are friends. We haven't really spoken more than a few words since Jenny's funeral, but her hair appointment at the salon is the same time as mine so we see each other every week. If Alice were planning anything like this you'd think she would have said something."

As soon as Mom mentioned the salon I thought of all of the horrible things Angie had told me Mom said about Ben and me in the weeks after I came out. And then I suddenly realized that that was how Dave and Alice knew so much about my recent life. Mom had told them everything, through Janice, and with her own biased slant. I'd been trying to leave everything up to Paul and stay out of the conversation but I just exploded.

"I can't believe it. This is all your fault, Ma." She was still prattling on but I interrupted her.

"What are you talking about? What do you mean, my fault?" Mom still hadn't made the connection between her running me down while getting her hair done and the custody case. How could she be so oblivious?

"I told you before to stop badmouthing me at the salon, ripping apart my life, making it sound like Ben was a pervert who seduced me, that James was an unhinged adolescent. Now look what you've done, you stupid old woman!"

I'd spent my whole life bickering with Mom but I'd never really yelled at her before. But the realization of just how much she might have damaged my life and Connor's made me see red. Ben put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close.

"Calm down, Joey. Getting upset isn't going to help anything." He whispered soothingly in my ear.

Mom's eyes widened in shock at the way I'd spoken to her. Then I could see the light dawn in them. It finally seemed to sink in what I was talking about. She looked like she was going to cry.

"B-but that wasn't what I meant when I was talking about you. I never meant to say you were a bad father or you didn't love Connor, that you didn't take good care of him. You know better than that. That wasn't what I meant."

Paul turned to Ben. "Why don’t you take Joey outside? Everyone is getting too upset right now. I'm nearly done anyway. If you guys will wait in the car I'll be right out."

Ben pulled me up and grabbed our coats. I was still furious, though a bit stunned that I had spoken to Mom that way. Ben led me out the front door and stopped on the porch, pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back, grasping him so tight.

"I just can't believe this, Ben. Mom has been saying all these terrible things about you and me for months now and I've pretty much just let it slide because I know the way she is, the way she bitches and moans about everything. Yeah, it hurts because I know she disapproves of me being gay, but I know her well enough to take what she says with a grain of salt. The whole family knows that. Deep down she loves us all no matter what she says at any given moment. But thinking about what she must have sounded like to Janice and the other women in the salon, I can see where this lawsuit came from."

"It doesn't matter, Joey. We know the truth and Paul will make sure the real story is presented at the hearing. The other side can't present any evidence that you're a bad father because there isn't any evidence like that."

Just then Paul came out and joined us on the porch. We talked as we all got in the car.

"They're going to call my office tomorrow for an appointment to come in and give their testimony. Your mother's pretty shook up now that she realizes she's the one who made you look so bad. Don’t worry about it, Joey. You know she doesn't believe that you're a bad father and once I get her under oath I'll make sure she thinks things through before opening her mouth. I'll get the truth out of her."

"I think it may be a while before Mom speaks without thinking again. I hope so, anyway."

"Maybe you're right, Joey." Paul turned and gave Joey a half-smile. "But in the future, keep in mind that it's not a good idea to yell at and insult your own witness."

Ben

I was pretty stunned by the way Joey had yelled at his mother, not that I hadn't wanted to do just that many times over the past few months. I'd seen him go through so many emotions in the time that I'd known him but he'd never really lost his temper. I knew that he'd been under a lot of pressure going back for quite a while. Even before he'd come out he'd been pretty stressed, wondering how he was going to tell his family and how they'd react. Then there was the generally bad reaction of his family to our relationship and that got to him quite a bit. He was just starting to adjust to that when the situation with James came up. And now the custody case. I knew Joey was strong but I wasn't sure how much more he could take.

He was pretty quiet and withdrawn all evening. When we got into bed I made up my mind to try to make him forget all his troubles. I started slow, just cuddling with him, making out a bit. He cuddled back but seemed a bit distracted. I decided to put all of my effort into seducing him, making love to his body from head to toe. I started with a full body massage. He was a giant mass of taut muscle. I'd never seen or felt anything like it. As I worked my way down his body he gradually relaxed. When I started back up from his feet I began using my mouth as well as my hands. As I neared his crotch I saw that he wasn't even beginning to get hard. I spent a few minutes licking and sucking on his balls and cock to no avail. I continued on up his body until I was kissing him on the mouth, gently but passionately forcing my tongue into him. All the while I was fondling his manhood with my right hand. While he was returning my kisses, I still wasn't getting much of a response from him. Finally, he pulled back a few inches.

"I'm sorry, Ben. I guess I'm just not in the mood."

"That's okay, Joey. I was just trying to relax you, make you feel good. Don’t feel like you have to do anything."

"Do you mind if we just cuddle? I'm not feeling very sexual but having you in my arms makes me feel so much better."

"No problem, babe. I love holding you, too. Whatever you want." Actually had I worked up a hard-as-steel erection while working over his body and it was practically screaming for release, but it would have to go down on its own. I knew it would, eventually, though probably not while he was holding me in his arms.

I was going to turn on my side and spoon him from the rear, holding him close to my chest but he surprised me by rolling me over and spooning me. That's how we usually cuddled but I had sensed that maybe he wanted to be held. It didn't matter to me; I loved being in his arms. Of course, feeling his dick, even soft, pressed into my ass crack there was no way my erection was going to go away.

"You make me happier than I've ever been in my life, Ben. Why can't others see that? It's like no one wants me to be happy."

"I'm sure they do want you to be happy but it's like your father said. They just can't believe that being with me will make you happy in the long run. They know nothing about gay relationships and can't imagine that one could work for you."

He sighed. "I'm tired of being patient with them, trying to keep in mind where they're coming from, waiting for them to come around. I'm tired of feeling like I'm fighting the people I love all the time. I just want to move on with my life and be happy."

"Then let's do it, babe."

"What do you mean? How?"

"Well, obviously you have to fight this custody battle, but Paul is going to take care of that for you. You're going to win, you know. There's no doubt in my mind about that and there shouldn’t be any in yours." He had his arms wrapped around my chest and I reached for them, grabbed his forearms in my hands and gave what I hoped was a reassuring squeeze.

"Yeah, I guess I know that. It's so obvious to me how good I am for Connor, but then, everything else that's obvious to me people keep fighting us on, so I can't help but worry."

"Just do what Paul says and let him handle everything. Other than that, it's time we took charge of our lives."

"And how do we do that?"

I turned around to face him. We were practically nose-to-nose as I stared into his eyes.

"Tomorrow I'm going to leave work early. We'll pick James up at school and the four of us will go to Borough Hall and we'll register as domestic partners. James and Connor will be our best men or witnesses, whatever. They're our family. It's not quite the same as getting married but it's as close as we can get right now. Then we'll be officially committed to one another and anybody who doesn't like it can go to hell."

"I like the sound of that. Is this partnership going to give us the same rights and protections as getting married?"

"Not by a long shot, but it's a start. As long as we have Paul acting as your lawyer we should have him draw up all kinds of documents for us; wills, living wills, powers of attorney, that kind of thing."

"That doesn't sound very romantic, but okay, if we have to. How about the party to celebrate? Are we still going to do that?"

"Yeah, but we should probably wait until after the custody hearing, Then we'll really have something to celebrate. That doesn't mean we can't start planning it, though."

"Who should we invite?" Joey was getting into the sprit of things and finally starting to relax.

"Everybody. My family, your family, friends. Whoever wants to come, great! Whoever doesn't, fuck 'em! Like you said, we're moving on with our lives. We're not waiting for anyone anymore. If they don’t want to come along with us, they'll have to catch up later or be left behind."

We talked excitedly about ideas for the party for several few minutes until Joey started yawning. Now that he was no longer tense he was beginning to feel tired from all of the stress he'd been under.

"I wish we could really get married, Ben. I love you so much and want to be with you forever." He whispered in my ear.

"Same here, Joey. I love you, too. Maybe someday we'll be able to get married."

He kissed me tenderly. I turned over and he spooned me again, pulling me tight against his chest. We lay there for a few more minutes in silence. I could tell by Joey's rhythmic breathing that he'd fallen asleep but he still had me in his arms. It was right where I wanted to be. I was hard as a rock again and I knew I probably would be all night, but that was fine. That was what Joey did to me and I wouldn't have it any other way.