Second Wind

Chapter Thirty-Three

Ben

Saturday morning Joey went to work and I finished up my tax work. There were still two weeks to go to April 15 but I was done, in spite of everything going on in our lives. Maybe because of it. I'd kept after everyone to get me their information early because I didn't know how much time I'd have to work. After James finally woke up we did a little housecleaning. Joey had been taking care of much of that when he was only working three days a week, but he was going back to work full-time now so it was only fair that we redistribute the chores. James volunteered to vacuum and I went to work cleaning the bathrooms, never one of my favorite jobs.

About halfway through, Cookie called. James found me scrubbing in the master bathroom after he took the call.

"Cookie asked me if I wanted to go hang out at the mall this afternoon. Her mother offered to drive us over there but we'll need a ride home. Do you think you or Uncle Joey could pick us up around four?"

I'd been planning on going over to the nursery when they closed at three to check out the books. Due to the craziness of the past week I hadn't been able to review the work that Pop and Joey had been doing. After a moment's thought I decided I could just as easily go a little earlier. I wasn't sure which of his brothers was working with him, but as long as Joey was there I wasn't concerned.

"I'm sure one of us can get you, James. No problem."

"Great! Cookie's mom is picking me up at twelve. We're gonna have lunch at the mall so you don’t have to make me anything."

"Do you need any money?" I knew that Joey had been giving him an allowance but I wasn't sure how much or how he was spending it.

"No, I've got it covered. We're probably gonna have lunch at the food court and aside from that I don’t need any money. We're just gonna hang out, not do any shopping."

James left a little after noon and I fixed lunch for myself and Connor. I put him down for an early nap since we were going out at two. Joey was expecting me at three but I decided to surprise him.

When I walked into the nursery the first person I saw was John at the cash register behind the counter. He looked a little annoyed when he saw me but didn't say anything. He was taking care of a customer so I asked if Joey was in the office.

"No, he's back in the greenhouse."

"Oh, well, I have some work to do in the office. When he comes in can you let him know I'm here?"

He nodded and went back to his customer. I went into the office, set Connor down and took off our coats. I'd brought along his bag of supplies and a few toys so in no time he was happily lost playing with a dump truck on the floor. I sat down at Margaret's desk and started going through the files. I was preoccupied checking over the paperwork and comparing it to the info on the computer for a while. When I looked up, John was standing in the doorway.

"I just wanted to thank you for what you're doing here. I know Pop has been pretty stressed out about the books and he doesn't need that at his age." From the look on his face saying those words wasn't easy for him.

"I'm glad I could help. It's not much work for me, actually, just checking up on what Joey and your father are doing."

"Still, it's important. Thanks." He hesitated. "That doesn't mean I'm okay with you and Joey, though. I still think it's wrong. Apparently it's not a phase with him and he seems to be happy, but I don’t see how something like this can be good for him. But it's his life so I guess I don’t have much say in it."

"That's right, you don't. Joey knows what he's doing. And I know you don’t believe me, but it is good and will continue to be."

He shook his head doubtfully. "I can't believe those assholes are trying to take Connor away from him, though. No father has ever loved a son more than Joey loves Connor."

"I'm surprised you feel that way. Joey said you thought it was wrong for James to be living with us."

"I do, but that's different. James is older and he's not Joey's son. He's confused and going through a rough time. I don’t think your house is the right place for him."

"Obviously we disagree, and I think James would disagree with you, too."

"How is he doing?"

"Good, very good. We were all a little shaky at first, getting to know one another. He had lots of stuff going on in his head, too. But I think things are going well with the therapist and he's settling down nicely. He's hanging out at the mall with a friend today just like any other fifteen-year-old. He's a good kid."

John nodded and for a minute looked like he was going to say something else but then turned and walked back out into the store. I took a deep breath and blew it out. That went a lot better than I'd expected. He was obviously tense around me and didn't like my relationship with his brother, but he seemed resigned to it. I didn't think we'd ever be friends or even comfortable casual acquaintances, but it was still lots better than that run-in with him and Vinnie in Angelo's parking lot last fall.

I went back to work and finished going over the data Joey had entered into the computer. He and Pop must have paid attention to me because there was almost nothing I had to correct. I was just wrapping up when Joey came into the office. Connor jumped up and charged at him. Joey scooped him up into his arms and kissed him several times all over his face.

"John said you were back here. You're getting pretty brave, Ben."

"Not really. I was pretty sure he wouldn't attack me here in the shop."

"Don’t bet on it. This is where Vinnie went after me."

"I brought Connor with me for protection. Besides, John is not Vinnie. He's actually getting a lot better." I told him about the conversation we'd had.

"Not great, but not bad either. Maybe there's hope for a ceasefire with him. The last time I talked to him about anything other than business he wasn't happy with the way I was living my life but seemed to accept that I wasn't going to change."

I went over the work with Joey and showed him the few corrections I'd made. Then I took Connor home and Joey followed after closing up the nursery. He decided to stay home when it was time to pick up James and Cookie. He had things he wanted to get done and besides, if we all went to the mall there wouldn't be room for everyone in the car on the trip home.

When I pulled up to the main entrance to the mall, James and Cookie were standing just outside the doors talking to another teenager. He was a little taller than James and slim. He took off his cap for a second and ran his fingers through thick blond hair. I was looking at his profile and he looked like a real hottie. His posture was relaxed and he was smiling, looking right at James. Cookie was smiling as well, but James looked a bit dazed. He was just staring at the blond. Cookie noticed me pull up and nudged James. They headed for the car, waving goodbye to their friend. Cookie hopped in the front seat, James took the back.

"Did you guys have a good time?" I looked at James in the rear view mirror. He seemed a bit out of it.

"Yeah, pretty good. There were lots of kids from school here today." Cookie turned sideways in the seat so she could see both of us.

I glanced at James again. "Like that pretty blond boy you were just talking to?"

He looked embarrassed. Even with his dark Italian coloring I could see he was blushing. He just shrugged.

"Yeah, that was Jared Winters. He is a hottie, isn't he? You should see him in his swim team Speedo." Cookie winked at me.

James finally snapped out of it. "All you ever think of is sex, Cookie. It's not lady-like."

"Yeah, like you don’t think of things like that, but then, I guess you're not trying to be lady-like."

"Okay, so maybe I think of him that way sometimes, but at least I know I don’t have a chance with him and it's just fantasy."

"If you don’t learn to talk when he's around that's all it ever will be, James."

"It wouldn't make any difference. He's obviously interested in you. He barely knows I'm alive. He's always hanging out with the popular kids. Besides, he's straight."

"How do you know? From what I've heard and observed, he doesn't seem to have a girlfriend."

James just shrugged again. "Everybody's straight. Everybody but me." He turned and stared out the window.

I glanced over at Cookie. She just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Joey

Ben and James were probably thrilled with the timing of Mom's softening attitude toward me. If she had waited another week, we would have had to go to early Mass on Easter. While Ben wasn't crazy about any Mass and James didn't like getting up at any time in the morning on the weekend, late Mass was about the best they could hope for.

The whole family turned out for late Mass. Before we even got out of the car I saw Anthony and Gina and their younger kids walking toward the front doors of the church. They'd gone in by the time we got there but Sal, Donna Marie and their family were just arriving from the other direction. We chatted for a minute and they went inside. It was a beautiful spring morning and since all three of my guys were a little restless in church we hung around outside until the last minute.

"James!" We all turned and saw James' little brother Mike racing toward us. He threw his arms around his big brother. Coming up the sidewalk were their sisters and bringing up the rear were Rita and, surprisingly, Vinnie. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him in a suit, much less in church. Roseanne and Toni stopped for a minute and politely greeted us as their parents caught up. Vinnie didn't even slow down or look our way; he just kept right on going, staring straight ahead. Rita urged the girls and Mike to follow after him, but she stopped to talk to us.

"I see your suit still fits you, James. You look beautiful."

"Guys aren't beautiful, Mom."

"No, but sons are. How are you?"

"Really good. School's okay and everything is going really great with all of us at the house."

"I'm so glad. I'm still working on your father. At least I got him to come to church today."

James made a face. He obviously wasn't impressed. Just then Tony and his girlfriend walked up and James turned to greet his cousin. Rita pulled me aside. With her back to the others she pulled an envelope from her purse and handed it to me.

"Vinnie's still against paying anything for James' expenses, says he won't support the 'unnatural' life you're all living, but I managed to save a little out of my house money each week."

"I don’t want your house money, Rita. Vinnie ought to be paying for James."

"Well, take this for now. We haven't given you anything and it's been four weeks now. I don’t expect either you or Ben to support my child."

"Okay, but I'm going to talk to Vinnie at work this week. This is his responsibility."

It was time for Mass to start so we all went into the church. Rita saw Vinnie off to the left and headed that way so we went to the right. Just before we sat I saw Mom and Pop on the aisle all the way up front, sitting next to Uncle Angelo and Aunt Josephine. The service was quite impressive, but then they always go all out on Easter. It was nice having Ben with me, but convenient also. Since he didn't take communion, I was able to leave Connor with him when James and I went up.

Afterwards, Ben and I waited outside the church while James played with Connor on the lawn. I wanted to talk to Mom. Anthony and Gina came out first and we talked for a few minutes. John and Carla and their crew joined us for a minute. They were stiff and formal, saying all of the appropriate things but not meaning any of it. What a Stepford family. Finally, Mom and Pop appeared at the door. Since they were nearly the last to leave, Mom spent a minute talking to Father Vittorio. He turned, looked in our direction and smiled. Then Mom and Pop came over to us and greeted the rest of the family. I pulled Mom aside a bit.

"Say Ma, I have a big favor to ask you." I was trying to act casual, like it was old times, but Mom looked nervous.

"Sure, Joey, I'll try if I can."

"Don’t worry, you're gonna love it. You see, Ben and I are bowling in a tournament next weekend and we," I emphasized the 'we', "need someone to watch Connor. If you're not doing anything would it be okay if I brought him over to the house one or both days?"

Her eyes lit up and glistened. I thought she was going to cry. "Oh Joey, you know you don't have to ask. I'll be glad to watch him both days. I miss my baby so much."

"Great! We'll drop him off around eight on Saturday then. I know I left lots of his stuff at the house but I'll bring a day's supply of things, just in case."

We moved back over to the rest of the family. Ben gave me a questioning look and I winked at him and smiled. Mom was much more relaxed and animated, talking to the others. My bribe had worked.

Easter dinner with Gale and Sam was very pleasant. Ben kept telling me how his mother had all of her big meals catered, but she had prepared everything herself. It wasn't the big Italian feast I was used to, but it was very good. James was pretty quiet but warmed up to them a little as the meal went on. Afterwards, he took Connor in the den to play while we had after-dinner drinks in the living room.

"Your nephew is charming, Joey, so sweet. How is he doing?"

"Pretty good. He's adjusted to his new living situation and has made friends with Ben, so things are going good."

"Any change with his father?"

"No, Sam, not at all, but that's not surprising. I'm hoping he comes around soon. Ben and I have talked and we wouldn't mind if James stayed with us permanently, but that would be tough on him, I think. One of the reasons it's been so easy for him to adjust is that he knows it's temporary. Plus, if he's still with us after the summer he'll have to change schools and that would really disrupt his life."

"Well, whatever happens I'm sure you two will take good care of him."

"You know, Gale, the past few days I was thinking about your offer to talk to my mother. When she was so strongly opposed to my living with Ben I didn't think it would do any good. But now that she's trying to adjust to things, maybe this would be a good time."

"Of course, Joey. I'll do anything I can to help you. She and I have a lot in common and I'll be glad to share my experience with her."

"As different as you and Mrs. Napoli are, Mother, I think it will be good for you to meet. I think she's been a bit jealous of you."

"Jealous? Why on earth would she be jealous of me? She doesn't even know me."

"Well, every time Joey mentions you, she tenses up a bit. As upset as she's been with Joey the last few months, I think she also resented that he'd found a 'replacement mother' in you."

"That's nonsense. I care for Joey a great deal and want to help him in any way I can, but I'm not trying to take the place of his mother."

"We know that Gale, but Mom doesn't know you, so she's probably suspicious. I think it would be great for the two of you to meet so she could see that you should be allies, not rivals."

"Yeah, how about we have the two of you and the Napolis over for dinner to get to know one another? Then you could arrange to see her one-on-one after that."

"That sounds like a good idea. I'm so happy that Joey's getting along better with his parents, Ben. Anything I can do to help, I will."

Ben

I thought everything had gone well at church with Joey's family. Even with Vinnie ignoring us and John and his wife acting so formal and distant, it was the most pleasant experience I'd had with all of them. It still wasn't relaxed or comfortable, but at least it wasn't antagonistic.

Dinner at Mother's was much better. James was quiet but then, that was typical of James. Even if he wasn't so shy I wouldn't have expected a teenager to be excited about dinner with strangers in their fifties.

Later, when we were alone behind closed doors I expected that Joey and I would discuss the day's events. But of course, as soon as we got into the bedroom and began to undress, we got distracted. As Joey took off his shirt, I couldn't take my eyes off his smooth, muscular chest. Not that he had bulging pecs or anything, but he was nicely built, very toned and what muscles he had were well-defined. As he lowered his pants and boxers in one motion, my eyes jumped down to watch his cock appear. It was slightly swollen and rose up as I stared at it. I could just lay back and drink in the sight of his body all night. He was the most beautiful man, the most beautiful person, I had ever known. But just then I was more focused on the body.

I lay back on the bed and pulled him down on top of me, kissing his lips, parting them and sliding my tongue into his mouth. He pressed down onto me; his hips, his chest and his mouth. We rolled around on the bed for a while, alternately kissing, licking and nibbling various parts of each other's bodies. At one point he was back on top of me, leaning on his elbows. We were so close our noses were practically touching and he looked down into my eyes.

"Make love to me, Ben," he whispered.

"Are you sure? I didn't think you liked that."

I'd only made love to him twice and he hadn't particularly enjoyed it either time. The first time he was very uncomfortable and it had hurt quite a bit. We'd tried it again a few weeks later and while it didn't hurt I still had the feeling he was tolerating it rather than enjoying it. If he didn't like it, that was all right with me. I was mostly a bottom anyhow and I loved having him inside me.

"Yeah, I'm sure, baby. With all that's been going on lately I need to have you love me, take care of me, be inside me."

"Okay, as long as you're doing it for you, not just for me. You know I'm perfectly happy with you on top."

"I know, and I love that, too. But right now I really need you to love me."

"I always love you, no matter what position we're in."

I rolled us over and knelt between Joey's thighs, pushing them apart. He bent his knees up, planting his feet flat on the bed, giving me access to his most private place. I took the lube and put a little on my fingers. As I reached under his balls I bent over and took his thick dick into my mouth. I ran the tip of my finger around the outside of his pucker as I swirled my tongue around his head. Gradually, I worked the finger into him, pushing it in and out, going in a few more millimeters each time. I was in no hurry and wanted to get him as ready for me as I could. I knew he was doing this because he thought he needed it but I wanted him to enjoy it as well, if he could. When I had my finger all the way inside him I felt for his prostate and rubbed it. Then I started fucking him gently with it, sliding it in and out. At the same time I went down on his cock, taking it as far into my mouth as I could. With each thrust of my finger my mouth swallowed up his rod. It was hitting the back of my throat but I'd discovered early on that he was too thick for me to be able to deep throat him. So I just concentrated on giving the head and the first four inches of his shaft the best attention I could.

He was groaning each time I massaged his prostate and once I was sure he was used to my finger I slid another one into him. He was so tight and his hole was so hot. I kept twisting my fingers into him, trying to pry them apart, trying to open his hole a little more with each thrust. I didn't know if it is was my mouth on his dick or my fingers in his ass but I soon realized that he was getting too excited, so I stopped sucking him and moved my mouth onto his balls, sucking in first one and then the other. As I went back to flick my tongue around his head I pushed a third finger into my lover's hot hole. He groaned but I kept working it further into him, stretching him, getting him ready for my rock-hard, dripping cock. I knew that he wouldn't have any trouble taking me if there were some way to keep my mouth on his dick at the same time but that wasn't physically possible. As I continued working on his hole I applied a little more lube to it. Then I rubbed the precum oozing from my cock over the head. I took my mouth off his dick, slid my fingers from him and quickly placed my slick pole against his stretched pucker and pushed it in until the head was buried. I looked down into Joey's eyes and saw nothing but love there. He smiled and nodded, then pulled his knees back against his chest. I let myself slide the rest of the way into him until I was buried to the balls.

"Do it, Ben. Make love to me."

I didn't need a second request. I pulled almost all the way out and then began to pump into him, slowly at first but then faster and faster. The whole time we never took our eyes off each other. I looked down into his, a little smile on my lips. He wasn't smiling but he didn't seem to be uncomfortable. He just stared up into my eyes, daring me to lose myself in him. And I did.

I knew that I was thrusting harder and harder into him and felt the tightness of his ring grabbing my cock, milking me with its smooth, hot grip. But it wasn't really about the physical pleasure my dick was experiencing. It was all about Joey, my lover, my partner, my mate. I loved him so much that nothing else mattered. He began to moan a little louder and I reached down and took his hard meat in my hand and started stroking it. He smiled and I felt his hand on mine. In less than a minute the two of us working together brought him to the edge and I felt his hole clamp down on my dick as he started shooting his load all over. Feeling his hot juice hit my chest at the same time his ring was squeezing my rod was more than I could take and I exploded inside him, shooting over and over again, filling him with my love. He eased his legs down on either side of me and I lowered myself until I was lying on him. As I kissed him my softening cock slipped from him.

"Was that all right, babe?" I pulled back a few inches and looked into his eyes again.

He smiled. "That was more than all right. It was awesome. Exactly what I needed. I love you so much Ben."

"No more than I love you."

Joey

I kind of surprised myself when I asked Ben to make love to me. After two tries I already knew that it didn't do anything for me physically, that it wasn't my thing. I loved any kind of physical bonding with Ben because of what it meant, the way it made me feel inside, but there were so many other things I would rather do with him in bed. But even though James was settling in nicely with us at the house and Mom's decision to try to be more understanding was a huge relief to me, there was still a lot of stress inside me. Even good change can bring on stress. And there was still the custody battle. Everyone assured me that it was a sure thing, and deep down I knew they would never take Connor away from me, but I couldn't help but have a few fleeting panic episodes every day. So when we fell into bed Sunday night, I was a bit overwhelmed and felt that I needed Ben to take charge of things, to take care of me, to love me and make love to me. I needed him to hold me and soothe me so completely, to make everything all right.

And did he ever. He was so gentle and patient, yet so firm and assured. He took charge, prepared me for his love and did everything I needed him to do. And for the first time it felt good. Maybe it was all of the preparation, but it probably had more to do with all of the love flowing from his eyes into mine, from his body into mine. Everything about it worked, everything about it felt perfect. We were joined together as one on every level.

Afterwards we lay side-by-side, arms wrapped around each other. There were so many things from the day that I'd wanted to discuss with Ben, but none of that seemed important right then. The only thing that mattered was that we were together, in love and taking care of each other. I knew that everything else would work out.

Monday morning I took Connor to day care and then went to work. Our spring hours and expanded work schedules had begun. Since I was taking Saturday off for the bowling tournament, I would be working all week. That meant that Vinnie and I would be working the same days a few times a week but it also meant we were busier so we wouldn't be in each other's faces all the time. Besides, I wanted to talk to him about James and I thought that would probably go better on neutral ground with others nearby.

Shortly after lunch I ran into him in the greenhouse. He headed in the other direction when he saw me.

"Hey, Vin, can we talk a minute?"

"I don’t think we have anything to say to one another."

"How can you say that? We've got James in common and I wanted to talk to you about him."

"You and your faggot friend better be keeping your hands off my kid."

"You're disgusting, Vinnie. You call us perverts yet the thoughts going through your head are really revolting. I just thought you'd want to know how he's doing."

"I can do without a personal report. You keep Rita up-to-date on things and she passes it on to me. It sounds like he's doing okay," Vinnie admitted reluctantly.

"Yeah, he is. He's doing good. Look, I know you're pissed at me, but can't you make an effort to be a little more accepting of him? I know it would mean a lot to him. He loves you, you know."

"I'm the one who's supposed to make the effort? What about him? He's just giving in to these urges he's got. He's not even giving himself a chance. And it's all your fault. If it wasn't for the bad example you're setting, he'd probably at least try to be normal."

"That's a lot of crap, Vinnie. I know that there are all degrees of bisexuals and some can choose to ignore some urges and concentrate on others. That doesn't mean they're not bi, it just means they can live a straight life fairly comfortably and be happy. But from the talks I've had with James, he's pretty sure he's gay. He doesn't have any physical attraction toward girls. What's important here isn't forcing him to try to be something he isn't, but helping him be as well-adjusted as he can be."

"Being queer isn't being well-adjusted. He's got to learn to be normal."

"Okay, I didn't think we'd get anywhere with this discussion but I had to try. You're too stubborn and I don’t want to argue with you. But I want to talk to you about your responsibilities toward James."

"I'm trying to be a responsible father but no one will let me."

"I'm not talking about forcing him to be what you want him to be, I mean your financial responsibility."

"I guess you've been talking to Rita. There's no way I'm supporting your perverted lifestyle."

"It's not for me. He's your son. He needs food, clothing, pocket money. That's your legal and moral obligation."

"You've got a hell of a nerve talking about moral anything."

I decided to try another way since the ethical approach wasn't working.

"You know, Vin, in cases of divorce where a father won’t pay child support, the courts can garnish his wages, take the money right out of his paycheck."

He snorted. "I don’t know what kind of perverted fantasies you've got in that head of yours, but we're brothers, not a divorced couple. You haven't got legal custody of James and there's no court order making me pay anything, so I don't know why you're even bringing something like that up."

I smiled. "No, you're right, I couldn't do anything through the courts. But you forget, I take care of the payroll here. I can just withhold the money on my own."

"You wouldn't dare. That's stealing."

"Well, you could complain to the boss and let him decide. How do you think Pop will feel about your refusing to support your son?"

He was silent for a minute. He was obviously steaming but we both knew how Pop would feel about that.

"Okay, it's blackmail but I guess I've got no choice. I'll give you fifty bucks a week. But it had better all go toward James."

"Don’t worry, Vinnie. Ben and I don’t need your money. I know that often when people say things like, 'It's not the money, it's the principle', it really is the money. But in this case, it's the principle. James is your son. If you can't love him and support him emotionally, you're at least gonna take care of him financially."