Second
Wind
Chapter
Eight
Ben
Becky
came over around one on Sunday and we went through my DVDs and began our
traditional Halloween horror film festival. I'd tried to make the house look
like no one was home so we wouldn't be bothered by trick-or-treaters but the
doorbell rang several times during the afternoon. Becky and I had both seen the
movies before so unless it was a particularly tense or gory scene we took turns
getting up to give the kids candy. We'd just finished our second
"Oh,
Ben, I think this one's for you." she called from the front door.
I
was getting tired of the boisterous little kids and wondered why Becky wanted
me to see this one. I went out to take a look and there was Joey, looking
hotter than I'd ever seen him in a form-fitting baseball uniform that would
have distracted just about anyone from the game, grinning at me, holding a
miniature version of himself on his left hip. I was about to grab him and kiss
him when I saw a pretty young woman with long wavy black hair standing just a
bit behind him. I stopped myself halfway to him and held out my hand instead.
"Joey,
you look fantastic! And this must be Connor. He's a doll!"
"Hey, Ben." He shook my hand and put
Connor down on the floor.
"This
is my friend, Angie." I noticed he put just the slightest emphasis on the
word friend. "Angie, this is Ben and Becky."
"Nice to meet you, Angie." Becky shook hands with her.
I
didn't want to be rude but I was so disappointed that Joey and Connor weren't
alone. All I could do was nod and smile. Connor was on the floor in between us
anyway so I couldn't get to her. Lula strolled over to investigate the little
person. She'd never seen a human being so close to her own size. Connor seemed
just as fascinated with her.
"Is
he okay with dogs, Joey?"
"Yeah,
Anthony and Vinnie both have dogs, although we don’t let them near him much
because they're a lot bigger."
"Maybe
the better question is, is the dog all right around babies?"
"Yeah,
Angie, Lula's never been around kids but she loves everyone. She's the most
docile dog you'll ever meet. "
"You
can do anything to her and she just lies there. She takes after her master,"
Becky added. I gave her the finger.
There
was a short awkward pause, which Becky broke.
"Let's
all go into the family room. Ben, why don’t you and Joey get us some
wine?"
Joey
and I went into the kitchen and I pointed out the cabinet with the wineglasses.
I opened a bottle of red wine.
"Sorry
about Angie, Ben," he whispered. "She just kind of invited herself
along."
"That's
okay, Joey. It's good to see you no matter what." We took the wine into
the other room. I noticed that Becky had seated herself on the couch, which
meant that Angie had to take one of the chairs. I sat next to Becky and Joey
was left with the other chair, across the room from Angie. Connor was on the
floor playing with Lula.
"He's
an angel, Joey. He looks just like you."
"Pretty much, Becky, except for his eyes. They're Jenny's."
"Isn't
he cute, Ben?"
"Yeah,
Beck, he is." I kept looking back and forth between Joey and Connor. Joey
had talked so much about this son of his but up until this moment he had been
an abstract notion to me. Now here he was, a real,
live being, a part of Joey.
"You
look a little uncertain, Ben. Why don’t you get down on the floor and introduce
yourself?"
"I
don’t know, Joey. I'm not good with kids. I don’t have any experience with
them."
"Connor's
easy, Ben. He doesn't bite."
I
got down next to him and looked him over. His cap had fallen off and he had
thick black wavy hair, just like his dad. Lula was lying on the floor in front
of him and he was petting her over and over. She was in heaven being fussed
over like that. Maybe Becky was right; she was a lot like me.
"Her
name is Lula, Connor. Can you say that?" He gave me a quizzical look.
"Lula. Try it."
He
looked at her and then back at me. "Loo?"
he asked, very tentatively.
"Yeah,
that's good, that's half of it, Connor. Lula. Loo-lah."
"Loo!" He shouted triumphantly. I
tried several more times but he seemed content with Loo.
I realized that trying to teach him Tallulah might be years away. Becky and
Angie were talking above me but I paid no attention. I was fascinated with this
little guy in front of me. I looked up at Joey and he was smiling down on us.
Oh God, he looked so beautiful.
I
got up and rejoined Becky on the couch and took a sip of my wine.
"Hey,
do you guys have any plans for dinner? We could order some pizza."
"I'm
a step ahead of you, Ben. Last week at Angelo's when we were talking about food
and you asked me what brand of spaghetti sauce I liked, I decided you needed to
taste some real Italian cooking. So this morning when Connor got me up early, I
made lasagna. If you want to try it, I've got it in a cooler in the minivan and
we can heat it up. Or you can put it in the freezer for another time. I didn't
mean to presume anything."
"No,
that sounds great, Joey. I love lasagna. Becky and I were going to order
takeout anyway. This will be lots better."
Joey
turned to Angie. "I'm sorry I didn't ask you before. I planned this before
I knew you'd be along. If you don’t want to stay to eat, that's all right. We
don’t have to."
I
could see that Angie was a little reluctant, maybe a little annoyed, but she
didn't want to be a spoilsport. After a slight hesitation she gave in
graciously.
"I'd
love to, Joey. I've never tried your cooking. I'm looking forward to it."
Joey
went out to the car and brought in the cooler. He not only had the lasagna but
the makings for a spinach salad and lots of garlic bread. Joey put the lasagna
in the oven and we all sat down with another glass of wine. Once we got talking
I saw that Angie really was a nice person. She and Joey seemed comfortable with
each other, which probably came from years of knowing each other and having
similar backgrounds. I tried not to look at Angie as a rival. I knew she wasn't
based on what Joey had said, but the more I observed her the more I began to
sense that she'd like to be a rival. The conversation was pleasant though I
would have given anything to be able to drag Joey off into another room for
just one kiss. Becky must have read my mind and came to the rescue.
"Well,
if we're having a big dinner here I'm afraid we don’t have enough wine." I
looked at her like she was crazy. She knew there was no danger of me ever
running low on wine. "Angie, why don’t we run out to a liquor store for a
couple of bottles? It'll give us girls a chance to gossip and get to know each
other and we can make the men do all the work."
Angie
gave Joey a wistful look but agreed to go with Becky. As soon as they were out
the door Joey was in my arms, kissing me like crazy. We got comfortable on the
couch and made out for a while, mostly just holding each other, running our
hands over each other, kissing lightly, looking into each other's eyes. I
looked down at Connor who was now playing with a couple of toys Joey had
brought in from the car.
"Do
you think it's all right for us to make out in front of him, Joey?"
"Sure,
why not? He has no idea what we're doing and it's not like he's gonna tell
anyone. He's picking up quite a vocabulary but he's not putting sentences
together yet."
"Okay,
you're the daddy. As much as I would love to just hold you for another hour or
so I think we'd better get dinner ready before the ladies get back. We don't
want Angie wondering what we've been doing all this time. Will Connor will be
okay by himself here?"
Joey
craned his neck back to look over the counter into the kitchen. "Yeah, I
can keep an eye on him from there. Why don't you set the dining room table
while I make the salad?"
I
went into the dining room while Joey took over the kitchen. I hadn't used the
dining room before. When I was alone or with Becky I always ate at the kitchen
counter or in the family room in front of the TV. I got out the china, crystal
and silver Mother had selected and set the table. It was pretty impressive
looking when I was done. When I went back into the family room, Lula was
sniffing Connor's butt.
"Uh,
Joey, is Connor housebroken?" I called into the kitchen.
"I
think you mean potty-trained, Ben. He's not a dog."
"Sorry,
I didn't mean to imply that but I'm used to dogs, not kids."
"Anyway,
no, he isn't. He'll probably be in diapers until sometime next summer or fall.
Why?"
I
pointed at Lula and Joey understood.
"Looks like he needs to be changed. Where can I take him,
Ben?"
I
decided my bedroom would be best so Joey picked up Connor and grabbed a
shoulder bag he'd left by the front door and followed me down the hall. I got a
large towel from the linen closet and spread it on the bed. Joey bent over
Conner, carefully removing his little uniform. I focused mainly on Joey's butt.
Damn, what I wouldn't want to do with that. I was almost exclusively a bottom
but that ass got even me going. I walked up behind him and rubbed my hands over
the two firm globes. He moaned but then turned and looked at me over his
shoulder.
"Down boy! I've got serious business
to take care of here."
He
didn't have to ask twice as he took off Connor's pampers. I quickly backed
across the room.
"Damn,
Joey, how do you do that?"
"You
get used to it, sort of. I try not to think about it, just do it and get it
over with."
I
got a small plastic garbage bag for the used diaper while Joey cleaned Connor
up. He was just finishing when I heard the front door open.
"Hey
boys, where are you?" Becky called out.
"We're
in here, Beck," I called back.
A
few seconds later Becky tentatively stuck her head into the room, then breathed
a sigh of relief when she saw Connor on the bed. I just shook my head at her.
Angie followed her into the room and gasped. I looked at her and saw she was
staring at the Tom of
"I
may not know art but I know what I like." I shrugged at them.
Joey
When
Becky practically insisted on taking Angie with her to the liquor store I could
have kissed her. I usually enjoy the time I spend with Angie but I'd been
planning on this afternoon as being time with Ben. While it was, I couldn't be
with him as I wanted to be. As soon as they left I was all over him. It seemed
silly in a way. It wasn't like we were longtime lovers who had been separated
for ages. We'd barely begun this new part of our relationship and it had only been
a few days since I'd been with him. But it felt so good to have Ben in my arms
again.
Later,
when we were getting dinner ready, I looked around. I was in the kitchen,
fixing the food, Ben was setting up the dining room and Connor was in the
family room playing with his toys and the dog. It was a perfect little family,
just the way life was supposed to be. If I hadn't been sure a relationship with
a guy could be right for me this chased away my uncertainties. I knew I wanted
more of this.
Once
Angie and Becky got back we all sat down to eat and for a while everything was
easy. It seemed we'd all skipped lunch so we were all starving. There were lots
of compliments about my cooking but maybe some of that was due to how hungry we
were.
"I
can't believe you made this from scratch, Joey, even the sauce. How did you
learn to do this?"
"Mostly from watching my mother, Becky. It's pretty much her
recipe, with a few changes to suit my own taste."
"I
know Italian and this is good, Joey. Better than my mother's,
maybe even better than my own."
"Thanks
Angie, that's quite a compliment. Jenny was really good at non-Italian food but
I took over the kitchen when we wanted Italian. Do you cook, Ben?"
"Enough to stay alive. Nothing
special, just basic meat and potatoes. Lots of
prepared and frozen stuff.
"So
Paul did the cooking?"
"Sometimes on the weekends, Joey. He's a good cook but he
only liked to do it when he had the time, not after working all day. During the
week we went out a lot or I fixed something simple."
"Who's
Paul?"
"My ex, Angie. We broke up last
spring."
"Oh,
I'm sorry." Angie looked uncomfortable, like she didn't know what she was
supposed to say about two guys breaking up. "Were you together long?"
"Almost
ten years."
"Wow!
I didn't know there were gay relationships that lasted that long."
"I
know lots of guys who have been together a lot longer than that. And don’t get
me started on lesbians. They all seem to mate for life."
We
steered the conversation in another direction since I could tell Angie was lost
on gay matters and was struggling not to say the wrong thing. I kept looking
around the table, thinking how nice it would be if Angie and I could be friends
the way Ben and Becky were. We all seemed to get along, but I knew Angie wasn't
like Becky. I felt bad too that maybe we weren't being fair to Angie. We were
all in on a secret that she didn't know. It was like we were deceiving her,
trying to trick her. I knew that wasn't the case but it kept cropping up in my
head like that.
The
others all had brandy after dinner except me. I liked brandy but since I had
Connor with me and I was driving, even though it was only a couple of miles, I
had coffee instead. Connor konked out around
seven-thirty and I decided it was time to go. It had been a long day for the
kid. Everyone helped carry my stuff out to the car. I took Connor, of course,
and strapped him into his carseat. Ben put the cooler
in the back and Becky put the diaper bag next to it. The goodbyes were a little
awkward.
I
kissed Becky goodnight on the cheek and Ben did the same to Angie. He put out
his hand to shake hands with me but I ignored it and pulled him into a quick
hug, nothing passionate and no kiss, just one last bit of physical contact.
Angie and I got into the van and drove off.
"I
had a great time, Angie. How about you?"
"Pretty
good I guess. It sure was different."
"Ben
and Becky are good people, Angie. They're a lot of fun and both have great
hearts."
"I
agree they can be fun but I'll have to take your word on their hearts. They're
just so different from us, Joey. It's like they're from a whole other culture
and I don’t just mean the gay thing."
"Oh,
they've had different life experiences but not all that much. The differences
are more interesting than obstructive. I love every minute I'm with them."
"Well,
I'm glad you're making new friends, Joey. Just don’t forget your old friends
and your family. We've known you forever and we all love you."
"Yeah,
I know, I could never forget my roots. It's just nice to expand my horizons a
bit."
When
we got to her parent's house I didn't get out because I didn't want to wake up
Connor. I leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. She tried to turn it
into a hug but fortunately that was too awkward leaning across the car.
Ben
As
soon as Becky and I got back in the house we both started talking about Angie.
"So
what do you think, Beck? You're a girl and you had her to yourself a
while."
"She's
got it bad for Joey. She didn't come right out and say so but you can tell she
thinks he walks on water. And she must have mentioned how hot his uniform was
at least a dozen times. She definitely has her sights set on him."
"I
got that impression, too, but I thought that maybe I was just overly sensitive.
I can be a mite jealous now and then."
"No
shit, like I don’t know that. But you weren't imagining it. She kept her eye on
him every minute and didn't like it at all when he paid too much attention to
anyone else. She even scowled a little whenever he mentioned Jenny."
"Damn,
and she and Jenny were friends. I think Joey is going to have to watch out not
to let things get out of hand with her."
Yeah." Becky hesitated. "Are
you sure about this whole thing, Ben? Are you sure that Joey wants this as much
as you do?"
"What
do you mean? Did he say something to you? Have you noticed something I
haven't?"
"No,
Ben, from all I can see Joey feels strongly for you. It's just that this kind
of relationship is totally new for him and doesn't fit into his lifestyle at
all. It's not going to be easy for him. Angie would be a lot easier and, after
all, he's already had a successful straight relationship. I just don’t want to
see you hurt."
"Believe
me, neither do I, Becky."
Becky
hadn't said anything I hadn't thought myself over the past several days but
hearing it from another made it seem more valid. I
thought about it all day Monday and once Joey and I were settled in at Angelo's
sipping our beers I brought it up.
"How
do you know you really want to pursue this relationship with me, Joey?"
"Are
you having second thoughts, Ben?" He seemed alarmed.
"No, not at all. It's just,
I've dated guys before and had a long relationship with one. I have a long
history that proves to me that I'm gay and that's what I want. But this is new
for you so I wonder if you're sure this is what you want."
"Yeah,
it's new, Ben, but I've thought about very little else the last ten days or so.
You know that I've always had some attraction to guys. I never had to deal with
that since I had Jenny, but I knew it was there and I didn't have a problem
with it. But now I have to think about what it all means and what I really
want. I'll admit I've had conflicting thoughts and confusion about this. When I
think of you, my head says no, that you're too different, that you don't fit in
with my life. But my body, which rarely has anything to say, practically shouts
yes. It's just the opposite with Angie. My head tells me she'd be a perfect fit
in my life but my body doesn't respond at all."
"So
it sounds like you have a tie vote for each of us and you're going with your
body. How do you know the differences won't get to be too much and then your
head will win out? Or maybe your body will decide that Angie is okay after all.
You've been happy with a woman before."
"Well,
you see, Ben, there are more than two votes involved here. The third vote, the
tiebreaker, is my heart. And this is something I am very sure of. My heart
votes for you."