As he remembered, the inside of Anne Baxter’s office was
pretty stark compared to the baroque styled waiting room she shared with the
other therapists in this community building.
Archer noticed a few very expensive antiques and well-known paintings as
he sat and waited for Anne to arrive. He
had gotten there early, not wanting to postpone the inevitable any more than
need be. To his consternation, he had to
endure the appraising looks from Dr. Baxter’s trailer-trash receptionist as he
nervously shifted his weight from one cheek to the other, unconsciously
crossing and uncrossing his legs out of sheer boredom. Mercifully, Anne stepped through the front
door in a flurry of scarves, raincoat and sopping wet umbrella.
She huffed as she pushed the door closed behind her,
“Archer, I am so sorry that I’m late.
What a mess out there, I got caught at the bottom of the hill. You would
think people had never seen a rainstorm in
She hurried to put her things away on a rack behind the
reception desk and poured herself a cup of coffee.
“Would you like
something Archer? Coffee, tea,
water?” She raised her eyebrow at him
inquisitively.
“No thanks Anne, I had plenty this morning already.” He set down the magazine that he held in his
lap. He had never even opened it.
“Very well then, let’s go into my office.” She walked in
front of him and he followed opening the door for her from behind her. He sat
in his customary place against the far wall of the office, gazing out at the
dark, rainy curtain that covered the city that morning.
“So, how are you this morning?” She smiled her wide smile at him and waited.
“It’s better today.”
He had taken his medication on schedule and the panic he felt yesterday
was starting to abate.
“What do you think caused it this time?” She always took notes. Just for my memory, she told him the first time.
He didn’t blanch as he usually did when she asked what the
center of his unhappiness was, he frankly replied with a name. “Jeremy.”
“Is this someone new in your life?” She calmly proceeded. He knew she wouldn’t be shocked. She was too professional and too much of a
humanitarian to judge.
“No, he was my boyfriend when I was sixteen.” His shoulders
sagged noticeably and a few tears started to squelch in the corners of his
eyes.
“How long were you together?” She slid her glasses back up on her nose and
reached for the tissues, ever present on her desk. He took one and held it in
his hand.
“Three years.” He was
not embarrassed to cry in front of her, she had seen him at his worst last year
and had helped him to find that all life was too precious to waste.
She sat quietly and considered whether to prod any further
or change the subject. She asked one
more question, “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
She sought out his pale blue eyes and found an almost
pleading look in them. Whether he wanted
to talk about it or not, she could see that this was indeed the center of all
of his issues. She had known that he dealt with abandonment, but she had
incorrectly assumed that it stemmed from his yuppie parents and their
aristocratic lifestyle. Anne believed in
the old adage, the eyes are the windows to the soul. Moreover, Archer Finklin’s
eyes were, at the moment filled with the most sorrowful kind of heartache she
had seen in years.
He erupted into sobs and she moved to the chair next to him
and held his hand. “Archer, I can see
that this is very upsetting to you, but I am right here and I will listen to
whatever you have to say for as long as you want to talk to me about it. Let’s get through this together, okay?”
He nodded his consent and she moved back to her desk and
picked up her telephone.
“Ginny, please clear my calendar for the morning. I will let
you know later if the afternoon will be available. Thank you.”
She told him that she would return momentarily and she came
back a few minutes later with a glass of water.
She moved again to the seat next to him and held out the glass to
him. He took it and drank a small
bit. He cleared his throat and began to
tell her about the beginning of his and Jeremy’s relationship. “The happiest two days of my life.”
***
The trees outside of
Archer’s windows each morning were teaming with life. Little finches gathered nesting material,
flying back and forth from branches with little bits of twigs, moss, and
leaves. Mockingbirds tipped the very top
most branches, singing their mockery of the rest of the community’s songs. A couple of squirrels scurried up and down
the trunk and into a knot close to the base filling it with the cylindrical
fruit of the oak’s harvest. The air was
clean and crisp and the noise was only that of the nature that surrounded
him. Dawn had just arisen and Archer
watched as the mighty sun crested the peak of the little hill that hid the
Finklin home from the rest of
He glanced back at
the animal print comforter that covered his best friend, now his boyfriend,
lying on his side where Archer had left him an hour or so before. Neither of them had talked about what they
were to each other now and Archer slipped back into the rerun of the events playing
in his mind of the preceding night.
Filled with pizza
and soda, the boys sat at the kitchen table just staring at each other, the
precipice of a year of misinformation hovering between them. Archer suddenly jumped up from his seat
reached across the table and tapped Jeremy on the shoulder.
He screamed as he
ran past him “you’re it.” Jeremy smiled
like a kid again and chased after his friend, winding around the family room
furniture and catching Arch somewhere close to the bottom of the stairs. Jeremy pulled him down and sat astride his
waist, tickling him until Arch bellowed with laughter, feigning a heart attack
with his motions. They rolled around on the ground, half-wrestling,
half-exploring each other’s bodies.
When they broke the
competitive wrestling grip they had on each other, Arch’s lips were close to
Jeremy’s. He reveled in the freedom of
just being able to reach out and kiss him if he wanted to. Both of them were
panting and out of breath from their frolic and sweat beaded on their brows. Arch’s chest was still bare, having never
donned a shirt since Jeremy arrived. The
muscles in his arms burned slightly from the exertion of their sparring match.
Gradually he inched his mouth onto Jeremy’s and initiated another exploratory
French kiss.
“Mmmmm…” Jeremy
moaned... his physical delights were also abundant. However, his head swam with a bevy of
thoughts including a bit of guilt and trepidation.
He had lied to his
mom about their supposed supervision this weekend and now they were locked in a
passionate kiss that could have easily been considered foreplay. He stopped himself from thinking too far
ahead. And tried to enjoy the moment of
comfort he was feeling with Archer wrapped around him.
Archer extricated
himself from the tangle and stood up. “I
have Nintendo in my room, wanna go upstairs and play Missile Command? It’s
ancient, but it’s my favorite.”
Jeremy nodded and
Archer extended his hand pulling Jeremy up and into his strong arms. They kissed again longingly, telling each other
what their words were too nervous to say.
They climbed the stairs and made their way to Arch’s bedroom. Jeremy stopped next to Arch’s desk, stripped
off his sweat-soaked shirt and dropped it on top of his gym bag. Archer glanced
at Jeremy’s half-naked form and smiled to himself in approval.
The far wall to
Jeremy’s right had dozens of shelves distributed evenly across it. Most of them were stacked to the gills with
books of some kind or another. Bigger
volumes even looked as if they might be medical books, but the rest were
covered with Arch’s TV and stereo equipment.
A spark of jealousy erupted in Jeremy momentarily but he quickly pushed
it aside, gave Arch a quick peck on the cheek and sprang for the bed. He bounced to the middle of the queen-sized
mattress and waited for Archer to set up the game.
“Come on man hurry up.”
Jeremy’s teenage energy buzzed within him.
Arch quickly slipped
the cartridge into the console and pulled the controllers back toward the
bed. He hopped up next to his friend,
all the time trying to keep from tripping on the cords. They set up for head to head play and
immersed themselves in the video world of spaceships and cities, aliens and
battles.
Jeremy’s intense
competitive spirit spurred him to challenge Arch to game after game. When Arch had him beat by five games, he got
bored and asked what else he had.
“I have a bunch of
retro stuff. My dad and I play em
together.” Archer got up and grabbed
another game. He tossed it Jeremy and
took the current one out of the game console.
“Ever play Centipede?” Arch asked
him from over his shoulder. He watched as Jeremy perused the cover of the game
jacket.
Jeremy thought it
would be fun to try the older games. He
quickly got the hang of Centipede and soon they had the speed advanced to
EXPERT level. Then they tried some of
the other seventy’s games, Asteroids, Super Breakout and Tempest. Jeremy discovered he loved Centipede and they
went back to it after trying out the other old ATARI
The entire time they
played the boys never lost contact with each other. They shifted their positions several times,
but they wordlessly settled themselves within close proximity to the
other. Their knees touched sporadically
when they sat cross-legged, pushing the buttons on their control pads with
lighting speed. When they came back from
bathroom breaks or trips downstairs for soda and lay across the bed, they let
their shoulders touch and their feet intertwine. It was becoming natural, almost automatic for
them to be touching in some way.
When Jeremy had
whipped Arch’s butt at Centipede a half a dozen times, Archer gave up. They decided to quit for the moment and Arch
got up to put the game away. When he
returned to the bed, Jeremy was looking up at him dreamily.
“Will you kiss me
again Arch?” Jeremy felt a little silly,
but suddenly he was feeling extremely romantic.
He wanted to feel Archer next to him, to bask in their newly formed connection.
Archer silently leaned over Jeremy’s prone form. He sweetly kissed him, lingering for a few
moments, but not pushing his tongue into Jeremy’s mouth. He too reveled in the emotions that had taken
up residence in his heart. Of the pair
of them, Archer was certainly the more confident. The long hours he spent by himself endlessly
lost in the world of drawing Jeremy had given him plenty of time to analyze his
feelings for the other boy.
Arch eventually lay
down next to Jeremy and renewed his efforts on his new boyfriend’s mouth. They were facing each other and quickly their
hands were exploring new territory. A
frenzy of strokes and caresses, finding each other’s hot spots and pleasure
centers. Arch’s hands felt the muscles
of Jeremy’s biceps, lingering to squeeze and knead the boy’s strong arms.
Jeremy’s mouth found its way to Arch’s collarbone, sucking and nipping at the
soft skin of the undeniably male erogenous zone. His arms enfolded Arch and his hands explored
his back and the top of his beautiful butt, hidden just under the waistband of
his khakis.
As their play began
to intensify, Jeremy pulled back slightly and stroked Arch’s cheek. “We’d better slow down Arch.”
Archer smiled at the
thought of making Jeremy so excited. He
had dreamed of this night thousands of times, but the reality of it was that he
wanted it to be perfect for both of them.
He pulled Jeremy
outside onto the deck and sat down on one of the huge wooden
Jeremy could feel
Archer’s excitement pressing into the left side of his butt. He sat still and
laid his head backwards, resting it on Arch’s shoulder their faces pressed side
by side.
“I’m so happy right now Arch?” Jeremy barely had to whisper for his friend
to hear what he had said.
“Yeah, me too.”
Arch’s smile was no longer just a half-developed one. He grinned so widely that he was sure he
resembled the Cheshire cat from
“Kind of a waste
though that we waited so long to make this happen.”
“Naw, not really.”
Jeremy replied in a semi-whisper. “Just
made it more special.”
They kissed again,
this time with mutual respect and caring for each other’s feelings. To tell
each other with their bodies what they had not with words for the time that
they had been separated. Softly and slowly,
their mouths melted away the hurt that had lingered within them. Patiently, lips and tongues were exchanged,
forging their feelings into imprints upon their needy psyches.
Archer
moved back to the bed and Jeremy soon joined him, laying his head on Arch’s
broad shoulder. Arch placed little
kisses on Jeremy’s forehead, tracing his hairline with his lips. He stopped on his left ear and sucked in
Jeremy’s earlobe, running his tongue across and around it as if it were
candy. Jeremy moaned in delight and
shuddered at the breath coming from his friend, filling his eardrum. Arch continued down Jeremy’s neck, sucking at
the same spot on his collarbone that Jeremy had hit on him some minutes ago. He intended to leave a mark to show that
Jeremy had been his. Primal as the mating ritual may have been, the need seemed
to overtake him before he fully realized what he was doing.
Archer’s hands found
Jeremy’s nipples and softly pulled on them as they became more and more
engorged. He moved his mouth to the left
one and played with it with his tongue while his other hand manipulated the
right nub. Jeremy writhed under him, the
impulses shooting from his chest to his already excited lap. He kissed down Jeremy’s side passing a
ticklish spot and making Jeremy practically jump off the bed. Arch tilted his head and looked into the eyes
that had captivated him for so long.
They both giggled. Arch rubbed
his cheekbone where Jeremy’s rib had caught him when he jumped and Jeremy’s
hand slowly stroked it, attempting to repair the damage with pure love.
“We should wait for a while, shouldn’t we?
There are plenty of ways that we can show each other just how special we are to
each other.”
Arch’s education at
home far outweighed anything he had learned in ten years of public school. The fact that his parents treated him as an
adult from the time he hit puberty had made Arch emotionally better equipped to
handle this kind of situation than most boys his age. He was kind and generous, loving and giving,
but he was also understanding and patient and if keeping Jeremy as his
boyfriend meant having to wait, then; wait is what he would do. Besides, it
would be a cinch now that he and Jeremy were together. He had waited a whole year for a single kiss
without Jeremy in his life; with him there he could wait a while longer for
sex.
***
Arch saw Jeremy
stirring under the covers and returned to the bed so that Jeremy wouldn’t worry
where he was when he woke up. He had been sitting in the chilled September
morning with only a pair of shorts on and he knew his body would be cold
against Jeremy’s slumbering form. He lay
down facing the sweet boy, again stroking his cheekbone with awe and
admiration.
He watched Jeremy’s
face as he wakened to the world, wanting to see the expression in his revealing
eyes.
“Good morning
beautiful.” Jeremy’s feelings for Arch
overflowed from his heart, as he thought about the fact that they had slept
enfolded in each other’s arms all night.
“Wow babe you’re
freezing, where have you been?” A shiver
passed over Jeremy’s body, causing him to visibly shake.
“I watched the sun
rise from the deck. It was so peaceful
out there that I just sat and watched the birds and the squirrels for a little
bit, thinking about last night.” Jeremy
pushed his head up with his hand, resting on his elbow for support.
“Was it happy
stuff?” Arch chuckled a little at
Jeremy’s insecurity.
“Oh yeah babe, only the best.” Jeremy
thought again at how lucky he was that Archer’s parents had been away that
weekend.
“Arch, can I ask you
something?”
“Sure Jeremy.” Arch’s left hand rested in Jeremy’s right,
spreading his fingers apart, grasping and ungrasping them in a slow
rhythm.
“Do your dad and mom
know how you feel about me? Um…that
you’re gay?” Jeremy knew it was just
about the most personal thing he could ask him, but he wanted to get to know
everything about Arch and this had direct bearing on how their relationship
would play out while he was at Arch’s house.
Archer thought for a
moment about Jeremy’s questions. “Would
it make you mad if they did?” Archer
asked him pointedly.
“No, I don’t think
so.” Jeremy secretly wondered just how cool his parents were going to be when
he revealed to them that he was in love with his friend from summer camp.
“Well, I guess that I have to say yes they know, but no I have never told them
directly. I guess when you see all of
the sketches I have in here, it can only be obvious, but they have never said
anything to me about it. Archer took a breath and considered the question
further. “I know that my parents love me
Jeremy and I think that no matter what my sexual preferences turn out to be
they will support me. So, if you’re
wondering whether or not we are going to have to hide this from them, I think
that the answer is no.” Arch watched
Jeremy’s face split into an intense grin.
“Is that what you wanted to hear, babe?”
Jeremy’s head nodded.
He kissed Arch again smiling at the use of
endearments that had slid so easily into their conversations. After a few moments, he felt a parade cross
the foot of the bed. Brighty and his
sister were making an entrance and Arch said they had better get up and feed
them. Come to think of it, Jeremy was pretty
darn hungry himself.
After the cats’ delicate palates were
satisfied, the boys decided to make themselves a big breakfast. Archer got out the ingredients for pancakes
along with bacon. They sipped on orange
juice as the bacon fried and Jeremy watched in some astonishment as Arch
whipped around the kitchen like a seasoned four-star chef.