Those Golden Eyes

By:J.W. Smith

Chapter Seven

As soon as Johnny left, Tim had stripped out of his clothes. Stretching out on his bed, he'd fondled his manhood as he'd fantasized about Detective Paolini. All to soon, in his state of excitement, he was spent and falling asleep only to dream about Johnny.

He had a hard time concentrating on his classes the next morning. He kept replaying the whole scene with the handsome blonde detective, wondering if there was the slightest chance that he'd ever see him again. Despite what had occurred in his apartment last night, Tim still couldn't believe that the man was gay and wanting him. When his classes were over for the day he was glad it was time to go to work. Maybe he could stay busy enough between the job and his studies not to think about Johnny.

When Dave walked into the lobby of the Tower that evening, he caught the moony expression on Tim's face as he sat with chin in hands gazing off into space. He stopped to chat as he did most evenings. Dave had few answers for all the questions Tim had about Joe's brother. But he left with the impression that the young fellow was thoroughly smitten with the detective.

Joe had started dinner preparations, but everything was put on hold while several minutes were spent with Dave wrapped in his arms, their lips locked together. Dave broke away gasping for air. Joe loved doing that to him and of course Dave had no objection for Joe gasped for oxygen, too.

"I think I'd better go change into something more suitable for wrestling with you." Dave said pushing away Joe's grappling arms.

He returned a few minutes later wearing a pair of Joe's boxers that hung loosely on his hips and a baggy old T-shirt. Joe's wry expression told him that he had been expecting something a little more sexy.

"Why are you hiding that beautiful physique from me? You know I love looking at you."

"I'm just giving your eyes a much needed rest."

"You're mean to me Dave. I've hardly seen you all day." Joe whined.

Dave ignored him and dug the bag of charcoal briquets out of the pantry. "Are you aware of what's going on with your brother and Tim McFadden?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?" he asked and then thought a moment. "You mean that hunky young guard on the desk downstairs?

"Tim's moony-eyed over him. He couldn't stop talking about his meeting Johnny yesterday."

That set Joe onto a different tangent. "Speaking of yesterday, it really upsets me you insist on walking home, Dave."

"Joe." Setting down the bag of charcoal, Dave walked over to him and wrapped his arms around his chest. He laid his head against Joe's strong back. "I can't let what happened yesterday change my life. The perpetrators have been arrested. Joiner and the kid that kidnapped me are in jail. Mrs. Way has been released, but ordered to stay away from me. I won't live my life in fear of what could happen. Geez, I could get hit by a car crossing the street. Or could trip and fall, cracking my head open. I'm not going to stop crossing streets nor stop walking."

Joe turned around and embraced Dave and kissed him on the tip of his nose. "Well, I'd feel better if you just stayed home where you're safe. Maybe I'll stay home and take care of you."

Dave pushed away and looked into his eyes. "Yeah, I just see us after having been locked up together for six weeks. I wouldn't have to worry about the outside world, you'd be ready to kill me yourself."

"Never." Joe pulled him back against his chest.

Dave laughed. "Right." He let go of Joe, walked over and picked up the charcoal. As far as he was concerned the subject of walking a little over a block from the book store to the condo was closed. He could see in Joe's stance as he turned back to the stove that he was still upset about the kidnapping. He sighed and said, "Anyway, I didn't finish telling you about Tim and Johnny. I couldn't sleep last night after we went to bed, so I went out on the terrace. While I was leaning on the parapet looking out over the city, I noticed Johnny's car parked on the street. I watched him follow Tim when he got of duty."

"How do you know it was Johnny?"

Dave looked at him like that was the stupidest of questions. "His souped-up '56 Chevy isn't exactly unidentifiable."

"Isn't exactly unidentifiable?" Joe laughed.

"Yeah, and neither is Tim's beat-up ol' Mazda."

"It isn't exactly unidentifiable either?"

"Yeah." Dave ignored the teasing about phrasing. "So do you think they got together and did the big nasty?"

Joe was surprised by the question. He'd been thinking along the line of his brother maybe suspecting that there was a connection between the kidnappers and Tim. "You're joking. Johnny and Tim? They are both straight."

"Johnny didn't kiss you. And you didn't see how moonstruck Tim is. If they didn't get together last night I bet they will tonight. I saw Johnny cruise by as I was walking up the esplanade a while ago."

With the bag of charcoal in hand, Dave went out and set up the grill. That done, he wandered over to the parapet and scanned the street in front of the tower. Johnny's car was parked just out of sight of the front door of the building. He ran into the kitchen and grabbed Joe's arm. "You've gotta come out here and see this for yourself." He dragged Joe over to the edge of the building and pointed down at the car.

"Tell me that car isn't exactly unidentifiable."

Joe grinned. "Yup, I identify that car as Johnny's." Dave poked him in the ribs, Joe danced away from him. "Let's have some fun with him." He pulled out his cell phone and dialed.

"Paolini,"Johnny answered.

"Hey, Bro, did you eat dinner before staking out our front door?"

"No. How do you know what I'm doing?"

" Well, your car isn't exactly unidentifiable." The middle finger on Dave's right hand shot up at Joe as he grinned at him. "Look up and wave."

"And here I thought I was being discrete." Johnny whined.

"A '56 Turquoise and white Chevy will never be discrete. Why aren't you with Paul if you have the guard under surveillance?"

"Tim isn't under suspicion."

The incredulousness in Johnny's voice made Joe step back and regroup his thoughts. Apparently Dave was right. "Well then, come on up and join us for grilled steaks. I'll even fix one for your boyfriend on the desk down stairs and let you take it down to him."

"You'd do that for me, Joe?"

Joe had been expecting a vehement denial that Tim was not his boy friend. The wonder in Johnny's voice took the momentum out of Joe's teasing mood.

"I'd do that for my little brother." Joe said, but he still had to get one more little dig in. "And his boy friend."

"He's not my boyfriend." There was a bit of exasperation in Johnny's voice

Joe smirked at his success in baiting his younger brother.

"Well, I'll still fix him a steak too, if you want to take it down to him.

"Cool. I'll be right up.

~~~~

Tim grinned as he watched the '56 Chevy pull under the porte cochere. His grin grew as Johnny got out and strode into the lobby. With a nod of his head toward the elevator Johnny walked right on by him. Tim was crushed that he didn't even stop to say hi. He pressed the button to open the elevator to the roof. Johnny stepped in and turned, looking sternly at Tim.

"Don't eat until I return. Got it?" Tim stared at him. "Joe's fixing dinner."

Tim nodded and turned away just as Johnny grinned. He felt more depressed as he wondered why Johnny insisted that he wait while he had dinner with Dave and Joe,. Opening his history book he stared at the print not registering what he saw.

~~~

With his legs crossed at the ankles, Johnny leaned his butt against the counter; his arms were folded defensively across his chest. Joe had just asked him what was going on with, the young Mr. McFaden and he was in a quandary of how to answer, so he just stared at the floor as he tried to think.

"I'm your brother Johnny, you can tell me anything and I'll still love you. Come on admit it. You've got the hots for Timmy. Doncha?"

"If I were to admit that I do, that will make me a fag, wouldn't it?"

"Damn, is that the way you think of me? I'm a fag?"

"No. No I've never thought of you that way. You're my brother. I love you, Joe."

"Then why are you labeling yourself that way? You're thirty-seven. Can't you just be who you are and accept it? Who cares whether your gay, bi or straight? You're a real man, a good, loving, caring man. That's all that really counts."

"But still I have to account to Mom and Dad."

"Johnny get real. They realized you'd never find the right girl years ago. They only want you to be happy. If Tim's going to make you happy, go for it."

Joe could see that Johnny was still raging a battle with himself. Finally Johnny raised his eyes to his brother. "Thanks, Joe. You've always been good at straightening out my thinking." He pulled him into a hug.

'Will he let himself win?' Joe wondered.~~~~

Half an hour later Tim was still staring at the same page when the elevator opened and Johnny pushed a tea cart out laden with two plates of steak, baked potato and green salad. He paid no attention to the sounds Johnny was making as he pushed the cart behind the U-shaped desk. "You want to help me here?" Johnny asked.

Tim jerked like he'd been poked with a cattle prod. "What?"

"Your dinner, sir."

Tim turned to see the teacart full of food. He hadn't thought that this was what Johnny had been intimating when he got in the elevator. "Wow! I could get used to this kinda service," he said with a big grin.

"Don't. It'll probably never happen again in your lifetime."

"Well. A guy can dream can't he?" Tim asked, feeling more than a little hurt that Johnny was putting the damper on what could be a romantic meal, even if it was at the desk in the lobby.

Johnny shrugged. "Sure, dream away."

Tim wasn't sure why Johnny was being so gruff and stand-offish and still wanting to share the meal. He kept glancing up at him yet failed to catch his eye. Neither of them had said a word for several minutes. Tim reached the breaking point. "Alright, why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" Johnny didn't even glance up.

"Why are you acting like you'd rather be somewhere else? Why are we eating together? Why are you being so gruff? Why are you even here?" Tim's voice broke in exasperation.

"Can we talk about this after you get off work?"

"We've got three and a half hours to talk about it now."

Johnny shrugged. "So start talking.," he said around a big bite of beef. He still hadn't look at Tim.

Tim laid his knife and fork across his half eaten meal, and turn toward Johnny. "No. I want to hear why you showed up at my apartment intent on seducing me and then didn't. And I want to know why you are here now."

Johnny glance at Tim out of the side of his face.

"There's desert when you've finished that."

"Fuck desert!" He hit the desktop with his doubled up fist. "Stop playing around with me."

Johnny swung around to face Tim. He pointed his steak knife at him as he glared, the point an inch from Tim's nose.

"I'm not playing around, dammit. I'm dead serious and I'm scared shitless. Alright?"

Tim blinked at him and crossed his eyes trying to see how close the point was. Realizing he was pointing a sharp knife, Johnny stabbed it into his steak. He stared at it for a moment and then looked up at Tim.

"I've seduced hundreds of women. Not for one did I ever feel anything more than lust. I met you and in one afternoon my life is thrown out of kilter. For some unfathomable reason I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you and I want to run away as fast as I can and hide from the chaos in my head." He pushed the food around on his plate. "I've always envied how Joe just accepted the way he is. I've always fought it. You know, it's so hard being something I'm really not. I'm tired of the farce."

Tim's heart went out to him. Taking the fork out of Johnny's hand, he made him look up at him.

"So why don't you give it up and be true to yourself."

"You don't understand. Everyone expects me to be this macho cop."

"So what's the problem?"

Johnny pushed the food around on his plate. He couldn't look up at Tim. "Maybe I could see you and still keep up the image."

Tim pushed away from the desk and stood up. "Fuck you, Detective Paolini. I'm not some dumb back street bimbo that you can fuck when you feel like it. Just go back into your closet and we'll pretend this never happened."

"I thought you'd understand."

"Oh, I understand where you're coming from. I've been there, too. Hiding my true feeling behind a pretty girl on my arm. But by the time I graduated from high school I couldn't do it any longer. I decided I would be what I am, and if someone couldn't deal with it, well, that was their problem, not mine."

Johnny was staring at his plate as Tim talked. He wished he had the fortitude to live like that. "I don't know if I can do that."

"Then what the hell are you doing sitting there. Go find yourself a broad and try to convince her you're really the man behind the macho cop image you're so good at hiding behind. And stop torturing me."

Johnny looked up at Tim. He wanted to say that he'd change, That he'd give up the straight image to have Tim in his life. He couldn't find the words. The disgusted way Tim glanced at him and then looked away made him feel ashamed. He dropped his eyes back to his uneaten meal.

"Look," Tim said. " I'm on duty here and can't leave. Why don't you just go." He turned and walked over to the plate glass window and stared out into the darkness.

Johnny dragged himself up and shuffled over to the door. He turned and looked at Tim. "I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to end like this."

Tim continued to stare out the window. "Detective, something can't end before it begins." And then he muttered under his breath, "I'd really hoped there would be a beginning."

Johnny nodded his head and shuffled on out to his car. He glanced at Tim before getting into his car. Tim just stared right through him. He stood at the window for a couple of minutes, firming up his resolve, after Johnny drove away. He then turned and piled the dishes of uneaten food on the cart and left it sitting behind the desk. He didn't feel like talking to Dave or Joe. They'd want to know what had happened and he didn't feel up to telling them. He walked back over to the window and stared out at the night.

He didn't know how long he'd been staring out the window before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and looked into Joe's eyes. He'd thought Joe and Johnny looked so much alike, but he realized that there was nothing about their eyes that matched. Johnny's had a guarded look, while Joe's was open and expressive. He wondered why he hadn't noticed that earlier.

"I take it from the look of the plates on the cart things did not go well," Joe said.

Tim stared back out the window. "That's an understatement."

"Give him time, Tim. He's hidden from himself all his life. You have given him the incentive to come out of hiding.

"After this evening, Joe, I'm not sure whether I care if he comes out or not."

"Well, Tim just remember that Dave and I think you're a great guy no matter what happens with my brother. And personally I think you are just what Johnny needs."

"Maybe so, but is he what I need?"

Joe squeezed his shoulder. "I guess only you can answer that, Tim."

"I don't know if he's what I need, but he sure is what I want. I just wish he had his head screwed on straight." He looked at Joe's wry smile. "Pun not intended," he muttered.~~~~

When Johnny left the Tower he cruised down a side street and spotted a blinking neon sign that said, "Bar." He pulled over and walked in. When his eyes adjusted he noticed there were several same sex couples as well as a couple of straight couples in the place. He chose a stool where he could study the whole room in the mirror behind the bar and ordered a long-neck Miller's Lite.

He watched the different couples and how they interacted. He soon noticed that they all, mixed or same sex, acted much the same toward their partners. No one was worried about projecting a straight image. He studied the men in the room. Only one of them would he ever classify as gay if he saw him on the street. He almost strangled on a swallow of beer when he saw the two guys he'd classified as having to be straight buddies out for a beer stretch across the table and kiss. It made him start rethinking his ideas on image.

A sexy platinum blonde woman entered the bar and sat a couple of barstool from him. He checked her out and then ignored her. After a bit she slid off her stool and sidled over to sit next to him.

"Hi." she said.

He looked at her and said, "Before you make any advances, I should tell you I am a police officer."

"Oh, does that mean you can't have any fun, even when it's offered for free?"

"That depends." Johnny said, amused at her breathless little girl voice.

"Oh, on what?"

"Whether I'm wanting to have fun or not."

"Oh. Well are you?"

"No thanks. I'm not."

"Oh." She slid off the barstool and went back to the one she'd been sitting on. Johnny watched her go and admired her chassis and found himself comparing her to Tim. He mentally kicked himself and looked her over again. 'What the hell, why not?' he thought. He picked up his near empty bottle and walked down the bar. "Can I buy you a drink?" He asked her.

"Oh, sure, thanks."

He motioned for the bartender to bring them both another. He studied her wondering if she had dark roots under her platinum blonde curls. He knew one sure way to find out. "Do you mind if I change my mind?" he asked.

"Oh. About what?"

"Wanting to have some fun."

"Oh, that would be nice. You look so virile."

"So what's you name?"

Oh, it's Marilou." Johnny thought to himself that he would've dropped her if she said Marilyn after all the little squealed "Oh"s.

"I'm Johnny."

"Oh, its nice to meet you Johnny."

In the past he'd have gotten a kick out of her little charade. Tonight he just wanted to get her in bed and fuck himself into exhaustion so he could stop thinking about Tim. It didn't take much conversation before they were on their way to her apartment. Johnny soon discovered that she was a true blonde and had a beautiful body as he undressed her. Once he had her naked she dropped to her knees and unzipped his pants. Johnny closed his eyes and an image of Tim doing this filled his imagination and he got rampantly hard. But then he felt her nails rake across the tender skin on his cock and he found himself deflating like a punctured balloon.

"Oh, what happened. It was so big and hard."

"You've got to watch you nails." Johnny said lifting her to her feet. He picked her up and laid her in the middle of the bed. He started stimulating every G spot on her body and soon had her begging him to fuck her.

She pulled a condom out from under a pillow and slapped it into his hand.

"Oh, hurry. I want you in me so bad. Oh, you're so good, Please, hurry." She writhed and squirmed. Johnny found himself completely soft. He jacked it trying to get it up. That didn't work. He closed his eyes and thought of Tim's hand on it and it started growing. 'Yes,' he thought, 'I can do this.' He got the condom on his cock and scooted up. Taking a breast in each hand he massaged them and pinched the nipples. An image of Tim's hairy chest filled his mind and it battled with his touch. He was overcome with a feeling of guilt. He sat back and sighed.

She raised her head and looked at him. "What's the matter? Why did you stop?"

Johnny shook his head and slid his feet to the floor. "I'm sorry Marilou, I can't do this."

"Are you a faggot that can't get it up with a real woman? Is that why you were in that bar?" She dropped her little girl voice.

Johnny shook his head, pulled off the condom, dropped it on the floor and picked up his pants. She wasn't through with him though. She slapped him and said, "And you were playing like you were a big macho cop. You aren't a cop, you're just a god damned queer."

Johnny had taken enough abuse from her. When she tried to slap him again he grabbed her wrist. "I'm sure my wife wouldn't agree to your summation, kitten. Just face it you're simply not enough to turn me on."

She yanked away from him. "You haven't got a wife. You can't fool me. You just can't get it up." she started pummeling him.

Johnny grabbed both her wrists. "Stop it right now."

"Make me," she said struggling to get loose. Johnny let loose of one wrist and she swung at him again. He caught her fist in his hand and pulled her over to the bed. He sat down and pulled her down across his knees. She tried to wiggle away. Johnny brought his hand down on her ample buttocks.

"Oh," she squealed.

"Are you going to behave yourself or do you want some more?"

She thought about it a moment and started struggling again. Johnny slapped her butt again. She again yelped and struggled harder. Johnny slapped her other cheek and came back to the first one for another slap. Her yelps had changed tenor. Johnny realized that she was getting off on this. He continued slapping one cheek and then the other. She was moaning and grinding against his leg. He let go of her hands and one went to a nipple the other sought her clitoris. She was soon having multiple orgasms as she masturbated while he continued to spank her. When the orgasms peaked he stopped, she hung limply over his legs.

"God damn, that was good. Oh, Johnny you do know how to treat me. Let me get you off now."

Johnny stood up dumping her on the floor. "Sorry babe, you just don't have the right equipment to get me off."

She gazed up at him with a big smile. "You may be queer, honey, but you're welcome to come back for a repeat performance anytime."

Johnny grinned at her as he slipped his shirt on. "You never know. I just may do that."~~~~

Johnny left her apartment feeling very conflicted. She donned a sheer negligee and stood in the doorway and watched him get into his car. Neither one paid any attention to the little beat up Mazda that passed.~~~~

Tim was feeling depressed when he got off duty. He slowly drove down the street toward his apartment. He couldn't believe it when he drove past Johnny's turquoise and white '56 Chevy. Johnny didn't even notice him. Tim looked at the blonde standing in the doorway of the apartment Johnny had obviously just come out of. She had a happy satisfied expression. Tears blurred his vision as he thought, 'I hope he found what he was looking for. It obviously wasn't me.'

He crawled into bed and stared at the ceiling wishing for what could have been. He eventually fell asleep and slept right through his first class the next morning. He didn't go to the rest of his classes and only got cleaned up and dressed when it was time to go to work.~~~~

Johnny went home to his cold empty condo that looked like no one had ever lived there. He slumped into a club chair and stared into the faux fireplace. He felt satisfied that Marilou had got her jollies, but he still felt empty and unsatisfied himself. He eventually fell asleep to wake up a few hours later with a crick in his neck and a weird twinge in his low back. He wandered into the bathroom, looked in the mirror and didn't like the person he saw there. He growled at his image, turned the shower on as hot as he could stand it and let the spay beat the stiffness out of his neck and back.

When he got into the station Paul looked at him. "Damn, what happened to you? You look like a truck ran over you and then someone roasted you for half and hour."

Johnny grimaced. "In just that sequence. Please, just let me stew in my own juices without any questions. I don't like myself very well today and I just might take it out on you."

Paul barked out a short laugh. "Hey, buddy, have at it if it'll make you feel any better."

Johnny just growled and went to find some strong coffee.~~~~

By noon he was feeling a little better. He'd decided he should go apologize to Tim. Around three he broke down and told Paul about the fiasco he'd made of dinner last night. Paul listened sympathetically, shook his head when Johnny finished and said, "You're an idiot, Johnny. Stop fighting yourself and be who you are. And for crissake stop hiding behind skirts."

As soon as he was off duty, Johnny headed over to the tower and parked just out of sight of the front window. If he could have figured out what to say to Tim, he'd have gone in to talk to him. He was certain that Tim wouldn't make it easy on him. He watched Dave walk up the esplanade through the university, cross the street and enter the Tower foyer. From where he sat he could see Dave talking, but he couldn't see Tim at the desk. Soon Dave disappeared and Johnny watched Tim walk out the door, cross the driveway and just stand staring at him. After a couple of minutes Tim turned and went back inside.

An hour later Tim repeated his actions. Johnny wanted to slide down in the seat and hide. Instead he froze and stared back at Tim. When Tim turned and walked back inside Johnny let go the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He felt enervated. Resting his head back, he dozed off , only to jerk awake a little later. He looked at his watch. It was twenty of eight. He got out of his car and stretched. If he was going to talk to Tim he was just going to have to ad lib, because he couldn't think of anything that he thought Tim would want to hear that he'd be willing to say.

After crossing the street he hesitated at the edge of the portico. 'I'll just go in and apologize and tell him we need to talk. Surely, he'll go for that. But what will we talk about? He's going to want me to say I'm queer. I don't know if I can do that. But after last night I must be. Hell, the only time I could get hard with that broad was when I thought of Tim. Maybe I should tell him about that.'

At that moment he saw Tim through the window as he walked toward the door. Johnny stepped back against the building. Tim walked out to the far edge of the drive Johnny followed him. When Tim saw that Johnny wasn't in the car he turned around and walked right into him. He wrapped his arms around Johnny to keep him from falling backwards. As soon as Johnny recovered his balance Tim let go of him and just stared at him. Johnny chuckled. "That felt so good. Your arms around me."

Tim just stared at him, and then asked, "Are you stalking me now, Detective?"

"Why would you think that?"

"You have been sitting in your car for over three hours. Why are you here?"

"I'm here to apologize, and to tell you I did just what you suggested last night. It didn't work. I couldn't get it up without thinking about you. I couldn't fuck her."

"So why was she looking so satisfied when you left her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Johnny, I live just up the street. It was ten minutes after I got off work that you were getting into you car as I drove by. The woman was standing in her door way looking very freshly fucked."

"You saw her, huh?"

"Yup, I saw her."

"I swear she had about ten orgasms before she gave in and collapsed."

Tim pushed Johnny out of his way as he headed inside. "Get the fuck out of here. I do not want to hear about your conquests."

"Tim, I didn't fuck her. I told you I couldn't get it up without thinking about you." Johnny caught Tim's arm and stopped him. Tim shook his hand off, but didn't turn away. "I wouldn't let myself think about you while I was with her. She got real bitchy and started beating on me and calling me a faggot and queer. I threatened her and she laughed at me. So I turned her over my knee and spanked her. She got all hot and bothered by it. She started masturbating while I spanked her. Man I've never seen a woman cum like she did."

Tim turned and grasped the door handle. "TMI. You know, you are just plain weird."

"Tim? Please. I need you. You've got to help me get my head straighten out."

"Why me? And what about what I need? Huh? Johnny I don't need a closet case stalking me."

"I need your help getting out of this closet. Please, don't turn your back on me. Tim, I'm begging you to give me a chance."

Tim studied Johnny and shook his head. Johnny was sure he was just going to tell him to fuck off. "I've had a hard time resisting you, Johnny. I'll tell you what. I get off at eleven. Tomorrow is Saturday and I don't have any classes. We can go somewhere and talk. But just talk. Okay?"

"Sure, Tim. That would be great. I"ll pick you up at eleven."

Tim watched him turn and walk across the street to his car. He wondered if there really was any future with Johnny. He began to feel that he had been pushed too fast. He berated himself for giving in so easily. There was no concentrating on his books, so he just stared out the door until eleven.

His replacement came in and relieved him. Tim hung around and idly chatted waiting for Johnny to show. At eleven thirty he gave up and headed home. He sat in his car and stared at the apartment building, the emptiness growing in his chest. He'd really thought that Johnny was coming to terms with himself a while ago. Well, he should have known not to involve himself with someone that didn't know which side the fence to jump off.

A great sadness enveloped him. He opened his car door and got out, leaving his books on the passenger seat. He stumbled up the walk. He heard Johnny's car rumble up the street and come to a screeching stop. A car door slammed. He heard Johnny call him. He ignored it and continued toward his apartment. Johnny grabbed his arm, spinning him around.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I stopped into the station and got caught up in an arrest they'd just made. I used my siren to run the stops getting back to the Tower, but you had left. Come on, let's go to my place."

Tim was tired of resisting. He let himself be led to Johnny's car. Johnny opened the passenger door and Tim slid in. Both men were silent during the fifteen minute ride across town. Johnny lived in a new development that spread over many acres. Until two years ago it had still been arable farmland. Now rolling lawns and parkways separated the numerous townhouse units. Johnny's place was a two story unit that faced one of several pools.

"I don't need this much room. Hell, I'm hardly ever here, but it was a good investment." Johnny said as he opened the door. Tim stepped in and looked around the vaulted livingroom. He felt Johnny standing beside him and turned. They stared into each others eyes.

"God, your beautiful, Tim. It's so hard to keep my hands off of you."

Tim's eyes closed as Johnny's hands cupped his face. Soft firm lips grazed his. 'So much for talking,' Tim thought as he opened to Johnny's probing tongue. Surrendering, his hands took on a life of their own as they felt, caressed and kneaded every part of Johnny's anatomy that he could reach.

He may have been a virgin but when it came to foreplay he was an expert. As his arousal grew he became more and more aggressive. They were two alpha males fighting for dominance. Their rutting, more and more, took on the looks of a wrestling match.

Johnny finally broke away, breathing hard.

"Goddam, Tim, You may be more than I bargained for."

He leaned against the wall trying to even his breathing. Tim was bent forward with his hands on his knees. Johnny pushed off of the wall and wrapped Tim in a head lock. Tim pushed up until his face was level with Johnny's and locked lips with him again. Johnny twisted his head away after a couple of minutes and said, "Come on. Lets take this to the bed."

Tim just nodded, he was still breathing hard. When they entered the bedroom Tim started unbuckling his belt.

"No, I get to do that." Johnny said, pushing Tim's hands away. Tim grabbed Johnny's belt and started undoing it as he leaned in and started kissing him again. Trying to undress each other wasn't working. Tim broke away and started unbuttoning his own shirt. Johnny yanked his Polo shirt over his head. As they both bared their hairy chests they stopped and stared.

"You are so beautiful, Tim."

"And you're gorgeous, Johnny." Tim said grinning. His wry sense of humor never turned off.

"I'll give you gorgeous. Get those damned clothes off and get on the bed." Johnny had kicked of his shoes and was pulling his pants off taking his boxers and socks with them. Tim balanced on one foot as he tried to untied his brogans. He'd had to pull his pants back up to do it, and he was hopping around trying to keep his balance. Johnny pushed him over onto the bed and did it himself, all the while muttering about how some people were just so slow. Tim lay back and watch as he rubbed himself.

"Get your hands off of that, it's mine." Johnny growled as he crawled up Tim's legs and buried his face in his manhood. Johnny had always enjoyed the scent of a woman, but that scent didn't pierce his brain like Tim's Masculine sent was doing. Tim's was driving him mad with desire. "Damn, you smell good," he muttered.

Tim's cock throbbed against Johnny's cheek. He pulled back and studied it. He opened his mouth and engulfed it. When it hit the back of his throat he gagged and pulled off of it.

"You're going to fast Johnny. Come lay on top of me." Tim pulled him up and started kissing him again.

Centuries and eons later as they lay face to face, glued together by their emissions, Johnny caressed Tim's face and kissed him on the nose. Tim's eyes were closed, he just smiled contentedly, Johnny had said that he loved him. He wasn't about to analyze it right now whether it had been said in the heat of passion or if he really meant it.

"You know that was the first time since I was a teenager that I've cum without at least manual stimulation."

Tim Chuckled. "Didn't you think that rubbing you cock up against mine in all that lubricated hair was better than any hand job?"

"You know it was. I've never cum so much with such force."

He rolled onto his back. Tim rolled with him ending up plastered against his side, his head on Johnny's shoulder.

"It was fantastic." Tim murmured."Does it get any better than this?"

"If it does it just may kill me." Johnny let out a huge sigh.

"Johnny, next time I want you to fuck me. And then I want to do it to you."

Tim felt an immediate tenseness in Johnny's body and a laxness in his arms. He raised up on an elbow and looked at him. Johnny turned his head away .

"What is it?"

Johnny rolled away and set up.

"That's queer stuff. I can't do that."

In bewilderment, Tim sat up, too.

"And what we just did. All the passionate kissing, rubbing our cocks together, sucking on each other's cocks and balls. Isn't that queer stuff? You even said you love me."

Johnny didn't answer. Tim stared at Johnny's hunched backside for several moments.

"So what your saying is that I'm a queer for wanting to get more intimate with you? And.... and you're just an regular guy getting his rocks off with his.... buddy?"

"Something like that." Johnny mumbled as he stood and shuffled into the bathroom, closing the door.

Tim heard the lock click. It was like a knife into his gut. He stared at the door for a couple of minutes trying to digest what had just occurred. He had just been used by a fucked-in-the-head sick closet case that thought he could be straight. He slid off the bed, grabbed his shorts, wiped the cum off his torso and tossed them into the middle of the bed. He dressed and left, slamming the bedroom door and the front door as he passed though them. He didn't know whether he was more disgusted with himself for falling for that s.o.b. cop., or with Johnny for duping him.

Johnny stared at himself in the bathroom mirror as he ran his fingertips though the cum on his chest and belly. His thoughts were in turmoil. He'd just walked away from the man with whom had just shared the most fantastic sex he'd ever experienced. What was it that had made it so wonderful? Not that it was with another man. It was wonderful because it had been Tim. And it wasn't just fulfilling his lust for Tim, but he couldn't make himself say it. He'd daydreamed about being inside Tim and even imagined what it would be like to let Tim inside of him. So why had he jumped and run? Why couldn't he just admit the truth to himself and be a man and face the facts.

Johnny stared into his own eyes and thought, 'You love, Tim. You are a homo, Johnny, so stop making a big deal out of it and get out there and apologize for being such a stupid jerk. And for pity's sake tell him you love him. Come on, be a man for once and stop hiding behind skirts.'

At that moment he heard the bedroom door slam. He froze. Tim was leaving. He heard the front door slam. Tim had walk out on him. He grabbed the doorknob and turned it. The door wouldn't open. He used two hands and then realized the door was locked. He'd locked Tim out. No wonder he had left.

"God, what a stupid jackass you can be, Johnny!" He screamed out loud. Dressing as fast as he could, leaving off his underwear and socks, he was out the door and into the street yelling for Tim. He was no where in sight. Johnny ran to his car and sped up the street toward the main avenue through town to the university. As soon as he turned onto the avenue he slowed searching both sides of the street for Tim. How could he have disappeared so fast?

When he got to the university he turned and went to Tim's apartment and banged on the door. He got no answer. Turning back the way he had come, he continued searching. Still he didn't find him. He returned to Tim's and banged on the door again, calling his name. The neighbor across the hall opened his door and informed Johnny that Tim hadn't been in all night.

"I've got insomnia so I read most of the night. I hate TV. I always hear when Tim gets home. He hasn't come home tonight."

Johnny handed the man a card with his cell phone number circled. "When he comes in would you call me at this number? It's important that I speak to him as soon as possible."

The man looked at it. "Police Detective. Tim's in trouble?"

"No, he's not in trouble. I just need to talk to him. It's really important. I'll be waiting for your call."

"Sure, I'll call you."

"Thanks."

The man watched Johnny walk back toward his car and then closed his door.

Rehashing how he had fucked up, Johnny slid into his car and collapsed over the steering wheel.

Tim was angry, frustrated and confused and clearly not thinking coherently as he left Johnny's. He strode off up the street cursing himself and Johnny. He should have known that he was just being used, and that the jerk would do or say anything to get into his pants. He figured he was lucky that Johnny hadn't tried to screw him, because Tim would have definitely have let him as dumb and naive as he was.

Just as he turned the corner onto the avenue he heard the rumble of Johnny's souped up '56 Chevy. He stepped into a doorway of a shop where he couldn't be seen and let Johnny pass. He strode on up the street.

His thoughts tumbled around in his head until he wanted to scream out in frustration. There was no way he wanted to see Johnny again. There was no way he'd be tricked like that a second time. All of his dreams of finding the right man had come true for a moment and then the bubble had burst throwing him back into reality. He relived the past couple of hours, his cock growing hard in his trousers. With no underwear the friction was nearly unbearable. He reached in and adjusted himself where he could walk. He cursed Johnny for being so damned sexy that just the thought of him gave him a hardon.

He heard a car approaching from behind. It definitely wasn't Johnny's Chevy, so he just kept on walking. It slowed next to him. He ignored it as his heart started to race. He knew how to take care of himself. He was a big guy, few people would mess with him.

"Tim." He heard a man's voice call out. He'd heard that voice before but couldn't put a face to it. He turned and looked into the car rolling beside him. He recognized the driver and immediately saw red. He turned and continued walking.

The car stopped. Tim heard the door slam shut and running footsteps.

"Tim. Stop."

Suddenly there was a hand on his arm. He flung it off and turned on the man.

"The son of a bitch called out the police force, Huh? You can't arrest me. I have broken no laws."

He turned and started to walk away.

"Tim. Stop."

"Look, Detective Hansen, if you've got a charge make it, and I'll submit to arrest. But it will be a hot day in hell before I speak to your partner again."

Paul grinned wondering if Tim was at all aware that he'd just admitted that he'd be willing to talk to Johnny. He had a tough time not chuckling. "First lover's quarrel, huh?"

"There was no quarrel. He so much as told me that I was a faggot and he was straight. And that was after we'd cum all over each other. So he can go straight to hell. The fucked-up hypocrite."

" T.M.I. Come on, let me give you a ride home, Tim."

"Did Johnny call you?"

"No, I was just heading home from a date and recognized you."

"Your not lying to me, are you?"

'Honest, Tim. I haven't talked to Johnny since about five-thirty yesterday evening. Let me take you home. It's nearly two in the morning. Even a big guy like you shouldn't be out on the street."

Tim relented and got into the car. He stared straight ahead as Paul put the car in gear and headed up the avenue. Paul kept glancing at him, finally breaking the silence.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Staring straight in front of him, he shook his head. After a couple more minutes of silence Paul started talking.

"I've known Johnny all his life. Joe and I were best buds and Johnny was the little brother I never had. He's had a tough time coming to terms with himself. For a long time after Joe came out to his family Johnny wouldn't talk to him. It was like he doubled his efforts to be straight, dating a new girl every week. I don't believe he ever really got close with any of them He never seemed to date one more than three times. I have never known him to get serious about any woman.

The day he met you I knew that he was going to have to face up to himself. He is really head over heels in love with you, Tim. I hope you feel the same way about him, because he really needs you, Boy. He's just got to do some adjusting of his mind set and accept what he is. You're going to have to be patient with him. Be there for him, Tim, he loves you and he needs you. In the long run you won't be sorry. He is the best."

When Paul didn't continue talking Tim turned and looked at him. "He locked the bathroom door."

Paul thought a minute before commenting. "Well, he's running scared. The things he's feeling right now are new to him. They're scary. I don't think he was so much locking you out as he was trying to lock himself in. He'll come around. He'll unlock the door and let himself out. Just be patient with him. Remember, Tim, He may be older than you, but you're the well-adjusted adult here. You know what I mean?"

Tim nodded.

"Here's where I let you out. And there's Johnny's car. You better get him inside before he gets a stiff neck sleeping like that. And remember what I said, Tim. Be patient with him. He's worth it."

"So how'd you get to be so smart in matters like this?" Tim asked as he opened the car door. Paul shrugged.

"I believe love's the same on both sides the street. Good luck, Tim."

"One more question. How did you know where I live?"

Paul raised his eyebrows.

"Do you think I'd let my best friend get involved like this without knowing all about you? By the way, Frankie said to tell you he's sorry he punched you in the face. It was just a knee jerk reaction. He wants you to call him."

Tim was frozen halfway out of the car. He stared at Paul. 'Frankie needs to be called?'

"Go on. Johnny's going to get a crick in his neck."

There were tears in Tim's eyes as he closed the door. He ducked down and looked back in at Paul.

"Thanks. Friend."

"You're most welcome. And you got that right, friend." He grinned at Tim who grinned back.

Tim looked down into Johnny's car. Johnny's head was wedged between the door and the edge of the seat back. It pulled at Tim's heart to see the tear streaks on his handsome face. He tapped on the window. Johnny stirred but didn't awaken. He tapped again and Johnny's eyes opened. He looked up at Tim and quickly sat up wiping his face as he rolled down his window.

"Hey, Tim."

Even in the dim light Tim could see the look of adoration in Johnny's eyes. It was hard to let go of his anger, but he forced it away.

"Come on inside. My bed is a lot more comfortable than your car."

He reached through the window and tousled his short hair.

As Tim fumbled with his keys, Johnny leaned against the wall still half asleep. The man across the hall opened his door and peeked out.

"Oh, hi, Tim. I was going to tell you there is a police detective looking for you but it looks like he found you.

"Yeah, Mike. Thank you."

"You're not in trouble are you?"

"No, at least not with the law."

He had the door open, gathering Johnny through it. He smiled at Mike and said good night, closing the door behind himself. He led Johnny over to the bed and started undressing him.

"I can do that." Johnny mumbled, pushing Tim's fingers away from the button.

Tim pushed his hands away. "Hold still. I've got it." He undid the button and pulled the shirt over Johnny's head. "Whew. You smell."

Johnny grinned. "And you don't?"

"Sit." Tim pushed him backwards onto the bed. He grabbed the bottom of his pant legs and pulled them off, along with his shoes. He was surprised that he wasn't wearing any underwear. He pulled the covers back

"Get in. It's going to be a tight fit, but we'll make do."

As Johnny crawled under the covers Tim stripped off his clothes. He sniffed his underarm and shrugged as he turned out the light and slipped in behind Johnny. He wrapped his arms around his man as he cuddled against his back , kissing the nape of his neck.

"Tim, I'm sorry...."

"Shut up and go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

Even though he was exhausted, it took Tim a long time to fall asleep. He listened to Johnny sigh and rubbed his chest to quiet him. Slowly his breathing became even and he gently snored. Some time after that Tim followed him into slumber.

Waking with a hard cock wedged between his legs was a new sensation for Tim. With his normal morning woody it only made it harder. After listening to Johnny's even breathing for a few moments he decided that he was still asleep. He didn't need to pee bad enough to wake him, so he just lay there enjoying what he figured wouldn't be his to enjoy again once Johnny woke up. Tim's nose itched; he had to move Johnny's arm to get his hand up to rub it.

Johnny groaned and thrust his hips against Tim's butt, his cock hit the back of Tim's scrotum. At the same time Johnny's hand slid down his belly and wrapped around his cock. Tim went into overload and filled Johnny's hand with his load. His loud moan as he shot and the arching of his back brought Johnny into full consciousness.

As he realized what had just happened, Johnny started chuckling. He wiped his hand down Tim's chest

"You young sex pig. You can't get enough of me so you use me in my sleep."

Tim rolled off the bed and stood up. His fury from the previous evening returned in full force.

"Fuck you, John Paolini. Whose hard cock was thrusting between my legs? Who was humping who in their sleep? And who in hell had their hand wrapped around my cock? Call me what you want, but you're not even man enough to admit that you're just as queer as I am. I've got to go pee."

He stormed into the bathroom and released the flood gates. Johnny jumped off the bed and followed him. He wrapped his arms around Tim and whispered in his ear.

"I was teasing you, Babe, I didn't mean to make you angry."

Tim ignored him until he had finished and shaken off the last drops. That gave him time enough to calm down before he turned in Johnny's arms and looked him in the eyes.

"I love you, Tim. Forgive me."

"I know you love me, Johnny. But you're still going to have to say what I need to hear. You locked the bathroom door last night."

"I'm sorry, Tim, I didn't even realize that I had locked the door until I tried to get out. I'm sorry."

"I accept your apology, but it won't mean a thing until you say what you need to say out loud."

Tears ran down Johnny's face. He dropped his head to Tim's chest. He held tightly to him as Tim embraced him in return.

"Say it, Johnny. You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to, so go ahead and say it.

There was no movement from Johnny for several moments, he'd even stopped breathing. When he finally raised his head and sucked in a huge amount of air, he looked Tim in the eyes.

"Tim, I am as much a queer as you are. I want to feel you pounding deep inside of me. I want you to fuck my ass raw. I want you to ram your cock so deep that I can taste it." He gulped and blinked. "And then I want to do the same to you."

Tim grinned.

"Damn, you're really verbose once you get started. That wasn't hard to say now was it?"

Johnny shuddered.

"You'll never know how difficult was. It would have been a lot easier just to go ahead and do it. But I love you, Tim. There's not much that I wouldn't do for you."

"That wasn't for me, Johnny. It was all for you." Tim whispered as he pulled Johnny in for a kiss.